Anthony sleepy softboi

Local owl hunting association, shooting what's hooting. What can I do for you?

[thoodleoo]

god i love reading about stupid drama in ancient greece. like there was an athlete named theagenes who was so good at every kind of athletic contest that when he died, one of his opponents would go to beat the shit out of a statue of him out of spite, but then one day the statue fell on the guy and killed him so the greeks took the statue to court for murder, convicted it, and threw it into the sea

[thoodleoo]

actually i left out the best part of this story which is that a plague then struck and when people consulted the oracle at delphi she was like "well you've pissed of theagenes" so they had to go dig the statue back up out of the fucking water

[valtsv]

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

[valtsv]

everyone suggesting uranium isn't wrong but anyone who said "literally any rock if you're willing to resort to violence" are the only people who can get on my level. you're hired.

[milfbaitt]

caincore

[valtsv]

okay which fandom that sprung up out of nowhere overnight like mushrooms after rain is this a reference to i can't keep up anymore

[valtsv]

oh you meant like. that guy from the bible who invented murder. right.

[homunculus-argument]

I love how both corvids and parrots are in general highly intelligent, but where corvids generally have strict hierarchies, solve disagreements in the pecking order by fighting, and have a strong dislike for anything new or foreign until they figure out how to make use of it, parrots are just here to party.

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

Imagine working really hard in order to make it into a top university to study astrophysics, making it to your first Very Serious Class, sitting down full of serious determination, and the dude next to you is taking notes without using his hands, with a glitter pen he's shoved up his nose. And his notes are good.

[homunculus-argument]

It's your first day of Bird University and you already fucking hate this guy.

[abbiistabbii]

The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.

Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.

It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I met a calico cat that looked just like the cat I have at home. I knew this cat was not my cat because he specifically told me his name was Rodrigo and his pronouns were he/him. I used an antique sewing machine to make him a trans flag (because all calico cats are born female) and he wore it as a cape. As I went to hug him goodbye he bit me on the shoulder (where I’m currently sunburnt) and then I woke up.

[mantimecomic]

All part of my evil plan…

I have a video showing the process for this comic. If you wanna see it, head on over to my Patreon page! All pledge levels have access to videos. 

Man Plants | Man Time Comics

[drempen]

Had all his fingies out for No Reason

[talkgentlytome]

Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 

[vvillowenna]

If you thought “hm those styles of art AND speech seem very familiar,” you are right because it is the same person that did these

[the-husbando]

Oh my god damn

[teashoesandhair]

Some more recent bangers by Matt Adrian:

and my personal favourite:

[ungoliantschilde]

Bird Thoughts

[homunculus-argument]

Potentially bad roleplaying session idea:

The player characters are snowed in (or otherwise temporarily confined inside) a house roughly the exact size and shape of the session host's residence, which they cannot leave for the time being, but also don't need to fight their way out of. This is a closed single-location episode, which is also played in LARP.

The party's task is to successfully cook one nice meal, in real time, entirely in character, in the host's kitchen, without any of the players getting killed. Characters killing each other is ok.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Now that I’m studying bio, may I just say how fervently I wish my primary association with the words “alpha, beta, omega” was literally anything other than what it is

[andhumanslovedstories]

My nutrition professor was talking about vitamins and said, “the only reason you all even know the words alpha and omega is because of sororities,” and I wanted so badly to raise my hand and be like “if you’re gonna be a dick for some reason, please let me explain to you in depth my immediate connotations for those words”

[birdthany]

I’m in training to become a phlebotomist and at my last class we did blood typing and let me tell you when I walked into the lab to see A/B/O written in massive letters on the whiteboard I felt six years come off my lifespan

[realitycheckbounced]

once I used a phrase alpha and omega of something during a lecture and one of the students giggled so hysterically I *knew* and I looked at her and she looked at me, and let me tell you, this was the most profound moment of horror and understanding I have ever shared with another person

[swagpaws]

when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever

[verthanthi]

Oh fuck I gotta pee. Wait wait, I can’t stand up I’m gonna fall over. Shit I haven’t eaten in like 23 hours. Damn I’m thirsty, maybe I should— fuck why am I nauseous? Oh, I didn’t eat, right. It’s WHAT time? 3AM? Do I even have time to eat? Shit, I forgot to take my meds earlier. Or did I? Damnit. Why is my head pounding, oh, right, haven’t eaten and I’m dehydrated… fuck I still gotta pee

[maestrosmassacre-deactivated202]

[a-real-human-person-not-fake]

*minimizes word document and stands up* My body:

[artofkace]

“We’ll be okay.”

IT’S HERE after a month of scraggly work and a lot of love - this angsty fancomic is done! It isn’t perfect, but it’s mine and I love it. Thank you for the support everyone, I hope you like it too! :’) 

[redstonedust]

gameshow voice: is it gay subtext or are the writers just so catastrophically bad at writing female characters that the only relationships in the entire story that feel human are the ones between the men.

[theblackparadeisdead]

Kid today (probably like 6 years) came up to me and was like "teacher teacher what's your name" and i was like "asha :) also im not a teacher" and he was like "okay asha asha asha I need help" and i was like "okay buddy what's wrong" and he showed me this chunk of metal he'd found sitting in the sun that he was just carrying around and it was super sharp and super hot from the sun and he was like "my hand hurts :(" and i was like "ok. put that down. does it still hurt?" And he did and was like "no." and then he picked it up again and immediately went "my hand hurts :(" again and then I was like "kid. put that down and stop touching it" and he was like "ok but when I touch it my hand hurts :(" and i was like "Please Just Stop Touching That. If you dont touch it your hand won't hurt" and this went on for like another 2 minutes before i got him to realize that if he stopped touching the metal it would not hurt. Kids are so fucking weird man

[lesbianshepard]

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

[satirizing]

i just want to say this is 1) excellent and 2) not uncommon…i work at a vet clinic and some of the names are so fuckin weird but i love it???? clients will be like “we call her stevie. it’s short for death metal steve” or “this is turkey but his LEGAL name is scarecrow jones” thank u

[snakewife]

For a good time, go through the notes on this post.

[spaci1701]

One of our dogs when I was a kid was Snuffy Snodgrass Marmaduke Maximillian the Third.

Yes, there had been two before him.

[lesbianshepard]

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

[satirizing]

i just want to say this is 1) excellent and 2) not uncommon…i work at a vet clinic and some of the names are so fuckin weird but i love it???? clients will be like “we call her stevie. it’s short for death metal steve” or “this is turkey but his LEGAL name is scarecrow jones” thank u

[wool-feathers]

Nio’ s given name is Antonio.

[pawsdoesntknowhowtotumbl]

My dog’s name is Sing. It’s short for singularity. She’s a black lab and she destroys everything.

[lesbianshepard]

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

[satirizing]

i just want to say this is 1) excellent and 2) not uncommon…i work at a vet clinic and some of the names are so fuckin weird but i love it???? clients will be like “we call her stevie. it’s short for death metal steve” or “this is turkey but his LEGAL name is scarecrow jones” thank u

[snakewife]

For a good time, go through the notes on this post.

[randomthingsbecausebored]

I have a cat named Salami, and I often call her Lami Mami