A very merry unwelcome to you. @emphatical-opt-out-blog - Tumblr Blog

oflline

s-t-r-o-v-e

emphatical-opt-out-blog

anal?

hatepilled-deactivated20220925

meowing instead of moaning

probuccalfat1

watching my mutual make posts i would unfollow other ppl for

bogleech

If you’re against putting safe needle disposals in public restrooms you’re basically saying you want to force addicts to leave them where they’re a danger to everyone else

bogleech

Okay some people seem to be confused. Yes these are necessary for people with diabetes and other conditions but I constantly see people saying they shouldn’t have these in bathrooms SPECIFICALLY because they’re afraid of “junkies” using them, as if the presence of a sharps box will encourage more people to come into that bathroom specifically to get high. Not only is that ridiculous, but addicts are still human beings, not pest animals to shoo away from every safe place they can go.

quasi-normalcy

What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though?

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.

quasi-normalcy

Scotty hacking into his Starfleet personnel file to alter his place of birth.

Scotty soundproofing his quarters on the Enterprise so that no one can hear him teach himself to play the bagpipes from instructional videos.

Scotty making a great show of taking a shuttle down to Aberdeen to “visit his family” every time the Enterprise is in Earth orbit and then, once on the ground, discreetly site-to-site transporting himself to Vancouver or whatever.

None of these things are out of character or beyond his technical ability.

beka-tiddalik

Yeah, but also in character: Jim Kirk has known since Day 1 that Scotty is not, in fact, Scottish, but is just sitting there waiting to see how far Scotty is willing to go to keep the story going. It started out as an “enough rope” situation but now it’s one of Jim’s greatest ongoing sources of entertainment and he wouldn’t admit at gunpoint that he knows.

wordsandshadows

Honestly, Kirk would actively claim to have met Scotty’s Extremely Scottish Family/visited them in Aberdeen just to keep it going.

my-insanity-is-an-artform

Frankly, as someone who’s paternal side is all Scottish, I simply can’t see any Scottish person not seeing this situation and running with it. Next thing Scotty knows, half of Scottish Starfleet is claiming to be his brother’s sister-in-law’s half cousin twice removed and the Loch Ness Monster has been painted on the door to his quarters. Kirk is busy dying of laughter.

radioscientist

@ethereumwinds

gae-bolg-alternative-dot-exe

Please appreciate the absolute clownery that is this fight scene

37q

whys this look like The Polar Express

all-is-for-all

it’s these two kids fighting over the meaning of christmas 20 years later

*shoulder checks you with our cars*

hypersensationalism

emphatical-opt-out-blog

except that vanta black bogarting scum

apas-95

school essay

dingdongyouarewrong

forgive me for sending tweet screenshots but i thought you’d enjoy

AMAZING THREAD

emphatical-opt-out-blog

that last shot... i can't take this right after the color oracle

badjokesbyjeff

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the manager?!?

Doctor: Sure, we’ll do things your way. No need to raise your temper. Why don’t we try an astrology based approach?

Karen: At last a sensible approach.

Doctor: So, what’s your star sign?

Karen: it’s cancer.

Doctor: Well what a fucking coincidence.

iftadwascool

Bad Vibes

emphatical-opt-out-blog

this feels like what staring at biblically accurate angel would be like

problemsleuth

i just think more 30-40 year old men should be more whorish. act your age for once.

problemsleuth

unbutton your shirt and show off some cleavage and wear some sexy underwear and maybe then youll feel better.

problemsleuth

everything alright over there champ?

stellarsoular

pumpkinylink

Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

The rest of the world: So… you’re a big country?

The states, standing on each other’s shoulders: Y- yes,,,

I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”

words-writ-in-starlight

#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird

Yeah 100%

Don’t let these tags die omfg

shieldmaiden19

10/10 can confirm

aces-to-apples

absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them

deerladydisdain

I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and can’t understand my life choices. It’s completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.

bluecrowne

every single fucking time one of those articles of “things europeans find weird about america” complains that sales tax isn’t included

states set the sales tax!!! it’s literally different across state lines!!! american retailers can’t add it bc they’d have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!

capriceandwhimsy

It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.

Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”

“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.

“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”

“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.

“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”

“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”

“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”

“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”

“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.

“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!”

And so it goes and so it goes…

quousque

“What’s sales tax?” says Montana. “What’s road maintainence?” “also what’s a speed limit?”

finnglas

*gestures at Florida* Oh also, the reason Florida is “so weird” is only PARTIALLY because people who live here are bonkers – it’s also because Florida state laws around privacy do not include the details of arrests! So in other states, when you’re arrested, it can just show up in the registrar like “25 yo man arrested 04/30/20” but in Florida they can (and do) print the details of why they were arrested: “25 yo man arrested 4/30/20 for riding an alligator through town while naked and smoking weed.” I promises you the other states have PLENTY of weirdos, they just don’t get their dirty laundry gleefully aired in the local news.