new age retro punk @enron-intern-1998 - Tumblr Blog

More OC drawings 🫶🫶🫶

flowery’s design is so funny, i remember in the summer of 2015 before undertale came out, i was hanging out with toby at a con and we were all joking about how people would react to the game, (i didnt know the endings yet) so i was like lol get ready for skinny blonde tumblr sexyman flowey and was drawing that to torment him. then i was. completely wrong and everyone wanted to fuck sans thank god. so sad i can never find this drawing i did it on paper 11 year ago. lost media

anyways i think i had the fairly unique reaction upon flowery’s introduction of “oh shit…. MY OLD FRIEND FROM COLLEGE…. the madman….he really fuckin did it….”

mr-deep-downer

one of the dumber parts of post TLA avatar is trying to make a “bender vs non-bender” conflict cause it’s just not a thing in the original show. There were plenty of strong and skilled non-benders (many of whom female) who had no problem not just keeping up but trouncing benders. Then here comes korra season 1 and the new animated movie going “akshully you guys benders are oppressing the normies, somehow” and you’re just supposed to believe it.

roycohn

any future wife of mine will need to maintain a short but accurate mental dossier on my favorite old hollywood actresses. don't have to know the precise ranking but just remembering that barbara stanwyck is my favorite actor but i believe bette davis was the GREATEST actor of all time but katharine hepburn is my all-time screen crush but marlene dietrich is the one i'd probably want to have sex with the most if i got a time machine for one night is enough

roycohn

"do the men matter here?" to me, not at all

ithelpstodream

theotheryongbok

My man Jesus

funnysowhatever2-deactivated201

What story is that?

ffermented-salmonella-deactivat

Matthew 18:9

livebloggingmydescentintomadness

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

beachfox-deactivated20181218

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

dinosaurrainbowstarfish

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

corporationsarepeople

“Did I fucking stutter?”

analog-autistic

we've definitely posted about this before but if i see one more person act like the only forms of childhood trauma that exist are abuse from family or sexual assault i will actually start crying and it will be so so so loud everyone will hear it from every corner of the earth

THE SCHOOL SYSTEM !!! PEER ABUSE !!!!! ISOLATION !!!!!!!! RACISM !!! SEXISM !!!!!! MEDICAL ABUSE !!!!!! NONCONSENSUAL SURGERY !!!! POVERTY !!!! SO MUCH MORE !!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

analog-autistic

!!!!!

virtuevistavalley

Natural disasters! I never see anyone talk about that one and as a result I spent years thinking that watching my hometown get destroyed on the news and subsequently having to uproot my entire life at the age of seven wasn't Real Trauma because there was no Abuser™

cewn

rooooooooooooooooofl

unalivejournal

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

cheshireinthemiddle

Oh, this definitely belongs on Tumblr.

thesplendidsnout

From the Nib, by Mattie Lubchansky

redstonedust

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

jesterlesbian

we can't possibly be in the back half of june 2026 we really can't be

sacred-portal

tangledbeast

If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.

gayserblast

This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week

brucebocchi

hjartasalt

sometimes being a man sucks so bad I went to buy beard oil earlier today and the only one they had at the grocery store was from a brand called "chad grooming" and right beneath it was something called "sack deodorant" we are such losers it's unreal

hjartasalt

Has anyone invented hobbies for men yet

revcleo

Yes??

hjartasalt

Kind of baller as fuck actually. Every man should be doing this

hjartasalt

Listening and learning

hjartasalt

Holy shit they finally did it they invented hobbies for men

stimman3000

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

krishnadewme

lionkins

wallpatterns-deactivated2019120

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”