your local idiot

[firehoes118]

HI BABY HIIIIIIIIII I LOVE YOU

HIIII I LOVE YOU TOO <33

[marylll]

Happy pride month everybody

[eklmrlos]

yuna🫶

[firehoes118]

hollanov, terrorizing the Hollander parents since 2017

[firehoes118]

r a w r

R A W R

[my-dailydreams]

[goth-queen]

[proudlyunicorn]

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

[proudlyunicorn]

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

[gleerant]

ok

[gleerant]

update: we are dating

[gleerant]

update: we are married

[proudlyunicorn]

update: we knocked up

[strugglingqueer]

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

[gleerant]

Update: had a baby together

[gleerant]

Baby’s first Christmas

[peujeune]

EXCUSE ME WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE BEING THIS CUTE

[rhapsody-under-pressure]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

[wingscanspeak]

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

[nightowlsupreme]

You’re going to get a cavity

[wingscanspeak]

good

[wingscanspeak]

30 min later, not much progress. 

[wingscanspeak]

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

[casualfanboy]

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

[wingscanspeak]

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

[wingscanspeak]

i’d rather be eating anything but this

[wingscanspeak]

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

[wingscanspeak]

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

[wingscanspeak]

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

[butchercat]

‘Tis the season.

[phantomlzer]

its almost the season again

[wingscanspeak]

Hey y’all. Just an update almost 6 years later, one of my teeth broke off and had to be removed this week. The doctors weren’t sure why but I fucking know.

[dooflizard]

*facepalm*

[dooflizard]

@thatfestivechoirkid YOU ASKED SO HERE YA GO

[thatqueerchoirkid]

THANK YOU

[firehoes118]

Not sure if I should be laughing or not, but 🤷🏻‍♀️ XD

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lorem64]

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

[ankaa-avarshina]

Two words: Raw eggs.

[lorem64]

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

[ankaa-avarshina]

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

[phantoms-lair]

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

[antique-scarecrow]

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???

[kingantlion-deactivated20231130]

Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

[firehoes118]

I've been eating cookie dough from the store, raw, for years lol. I'm just fine XD

Though why would someone eat FLOUR raw?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Britney has been paying for people's groceries, paying for items for their kids, sending uplifting messages, posting fun videos to cheer her fans up, doing everything she can to help others, she's even nice to people who send hate to her when they're not nice to her to begin with. She's helping people financially even though she does not have control over her finances. She is using whatever she has to help. She's asking for wealth redistribution. I never really stanned her before this, I was more of a casual fan, but this? This is legend behavior. Thank you, Britney.

[possumistic]

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

[whalesnest]

@jockocub

[londoncallingsigh]

“The Vice President of America wishes I didn’t have the love with my wife. He wanted to ban that in Indiana. He believes in conversion therapy. He has hurt LGBTQ people so badly as the governor of Indiana. And I think the thing we need to know - and I hope my show Gaycation did this - in terms of connecting the dots in terms of what happened the other day to Jussie…” - Ellen Page on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

[worldcircus]

Kind of gives you chills .

[kittygory-deactivated20210901]

Good Lord, how delicious! I wanna do that! The next time I’m in a cathedral, I’m doing it. 

[youreyesblazeout]

As she stood inside an ancient and empty church in Montefrío, Spain, Malinda Kathleen Reese belted out one of the best Christmas carols of all time-“O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and the end result was just heavenly.

[firehoes118]

Me: listening to Ready As I'll Ever Be from Tangled the series

My brother: what the heck are you listening to?

Me: a beautiful bop that's just awesome!

My brother: okay then...

Me: ...

My brother: ...

My mom: ...

My dad: ...

Jesus: ...

Obama: ...

Me: 🎶believe me I know...I've sunk pretty low🎶

[firehoes118]

Me when creating an OC for a story:

Me: Meet character A, kind and compassionate, a perfect friend for you

OC: meh

Me: and character B, dark, mysterious, kinda rude. Perfect rival.

Oc: nah, he's perfect! Let's be buddies!

Me: what? Why? He'll kill you!

Oc: he's ✨interesting✨

Me: *facepalm*