Occupatianal Safety and Health Administration

You must be thinking of a different FBI. Don't put just anything where it doesn't belong! Operated by @villainessbian. Minors, you're free to educate yourselves on safe practices if you're going to fool around anyway, but please DNI. They want nothing more than to accuse people of being pedos if we don't tell you to go.

[puppygirldick]

[flared-base-inspector]

FLARED BASE DETECTED

HOWEVER,

IT IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH FOR NON-STRUCTURAL REASONS. REPEAT AFTER ME. DEMON COCK: YES, DEMON CORE: NO.

[puppygirldick]

Jokes on you I want both to kill me

[flared-base-inspector]

c'mon girl I'm just doing my job

[puppygirldick]

Are you a demon? How much they paying you

[flared-base-inspector]

I'm just the inspector...

[puppygirldick]

[flared-base-inspector]

FLARED BASE DETECTED

HOWEVER,

IT IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH FOR NON-STRUCTURAL REASONS. REPEAT AFTER ME. DEMON COCK: YES, DEMON CORE: NO.

[puppygirldick]

Jokes on you I want both to kill me

[flared-base-inspector]

c'mon girl I'm just doing my job

[puppygirldick]

[flared-base-inspector]

FLARED BASE DETECTED

HOWEVER,

IT IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH FOR NON-STRUCTURAL REASONS. REPEAT AFTER ME. DEMON COCK: YES, DEMON CORE: NO.

[blumineck]

Shooting arrows at nerds!

More BTS from this trip on Patreon

[flared-base-inspector]

CAUTION

EVEN THE BLUNTEST AND SAFEST OF TRAINING ARROWS IS STILL A TERRIBLE IDEA. IT DOES NOT HAVE A FLARED BASE AND IT CAN BREAK OR SCRAPE SOMETHING DO NOT

[nattousan]

[flared-base-inspector]

FLARED BASE DETECTED

HOWEVER,

THESE TOYS ARE STRUCTURALLY UNSAFE. YOU WILL GET SPLINTERS AND CUTS FROM THE ALREADY-PRESENT CUTS.

THESE TOYS ARE HAZARDOUS. THE MATERIAL IS POROUS AND CANNOT BE DECONTAMINATED.

[ttechniic]

"im not going to buy a little thing at the thrift store"

the wonderous wren:

[flared-base-inspector]

CAUTION

THE WONDEROUS WREN DOES NOT HAVE A FLARED BASE

AND ITS SHARP BEAK COULD HURT

[rslashrats]

conspiracy theory

[mousegirlheart]

erogenous zone

[puppygirlniko]

why would you say this

[mousegirlheart]

because im beautiful and correct

[flared-base-inspector]

I'll need a second opinion for this one... you're in the clear for now but on thin ice.

I can't in good conscience confirm or deny the flaredness of any base here.

[yourtubes]

reblog if your url represents who you really are 

[flared-base-inspector]

I proudly inspect things for the presence of flared bases.

[hellenhighwater]

Well those are allllmost done

[codebreakerblue]

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

[hellenhighwater]

There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

[jackfromthefairytale]

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

[hellenhighwater]

They're actually a really dark purple

[fishofthewoods]

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

[hellenhighwater]

Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

[nobodywasneverhere]

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

[hellenhighwater]

The heart wants what the heart wants

[fred-the-dinosaur]

this reads like a muppet sketch

[fred-the-dinosaur]

see? See!??!

[hellenhighwater]

You're not wrong

[hellenhighwater]

This post is less than six months old.

[zwoelffarben]

Sometimes posts just, have olde tumblr post energy. And ya gotta live wit dat.

[flared-base-inspector]

They may have occasional features...

but CAUTION

THESE FEATURES DO NOT INCLUDE A FLARED BASE

[joshuaballsett]

[babbhad]

[cipheramnesia]

[marseny]

[joasakura]

[anomymous2]

@flared-base-inspector

[flared-base-inspector]

DO NOT

THIS TOY IS HAZARDOUS. IT WILL BREAK INSIDE YOU AND YOU DON'T WANT TO WONDER WHAT THE GLOWING PURPLE LIQUID MIGHT DO TO YOUR BROKEN GLASS-MANGLED RECTUM ON ANY OTHER LEVEL THAN THE HYPOTHETICAL. HECK IT'S EVEN GOING TO HURT BEFORE YOU GET TO BREAKING IT LIKE IT'S THE JAR VIDEO OF OLD.

OF COURSE IT'S STRUCTURALLY DANGEROUS. SEE THE MEAN-LOOKING SPIKES? WELL GUESS WHAT BUTTCHUGCKLEFUCK THEY ARE MEAN.

[flared-base-inspector]

You make a good point, unfortunately I have already depicted myself as the flared-base wonder of the frill-necked lizard, and you as the dopey and unflared legless lizard.

[dogpuppy]

[thcapnsquarters]

@flared-base-inspector

[flared-base-inspector]

FLARED BASE CONFIRMED

HOWEVER,

THE POROUS MATERIAL IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Chinese jade carvings: corn, grapes, cabbage, and bok choy. (cr 簇拥烈日的花)

[villainessbian]

JADE CARVINGS

[flared-base-inspector]

CAUTION

VERY PRETTY, BUT NO FLARED BASE.

[nightofyami]

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝— 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?

[flared-base-inspector]

ALL OF THESE SWORDS HAVE FLARED BASES

BUT

THEY ARE TOO SHARP.

[animeniko]

what a crazy animation flex........

[givemeallyourpenny]

I love that the anime about rocks has the most stunningly beautiful animation I’ve ever seen. It really adds to the theme of the show

[flared-base-inspector]

GORGEOUS... BUT UNSAFE

THAT BOTTLE DOES NOT HAVE A FLARED BASE

[valkayrieactual]

[flared-base-inspector]

Thank you for your service

[certifiedsexed]

I saw something somewhere where someone said that when they lost their virginity they used a twix wrapper instead of a condom and I just thought you might find that amusing and or horrifying

ID: A GIF of Kermit the Frog, staring out into nothingness, biting his fist, trembling.

[flared-base-inspector]

OH FOR FUCK'S-

YOU WANT TO GET AN INFECTION? THAT'S HOW YOU GET AN INFECTION. NOT ONLY IS IT STRUCTURALLY UNSOUND AND NOT PROTECTING ANYTHING, YOU'RE EXPOSING YOURSELF TO WHATEVER REMNANTS OF BACTERIA-NEST SUGAR AND DIRT ARE ON THE DIRTY WRAPPER DEPENDING ON THE SIDE YOU CHOOSE, NOT TO SPEAK OF HOW PLASTIC WRAPPERS EVEN FEEL ON SENSITIVE PARTS - DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY FEEL SHARP AND UNCOMFORTABLE? BECAUSE THEY CAN ACTUALLY DAMAGE YOUR PRECIOUS BITS.