Without Expectation
You know how everyone is talking about how Astarion has a difficult relationship with hero characters bc he felt abandoned by them when he was suffering? What if, during his 200 years of imprisonment, heâd met one? Very much inspired by this post
cw:Â pre-game astarion, Cazador, prostitution and non-consensual sex alluded to but never shown, healing from trauma, Astarion being sexualized, Astarion sexualizing himself, objectification, blood drinking, heâs kind of sexually aggressive in this but it's just because heâs scared and he doesnât know anything else, reader is from a group of monster hunters that I made up who have been harassing Cazador, they are separate from any in-game monster hunters who are less Astarion friendly
Astarion x gn reader
Word count: 6k
He was charming. Pretty words, perfect hair, a dashing smile, and hollow eyes.Â
The second Cazador had said the word, he was all over you.Â
You couldnât turn down the offer. Not for the promise of pleasure, that was the last thing on your mind looking at him.Â
But if you got him alone you could talk to him, outside of the watchful eye of his master.Â
He had you pinned to the wall of your bedroom before you could even say a word. You had to shove him back and he stumbled, a frightened, hurt look crossing his face before the practiced charm slipped easily back.Â
âOh, you like to play rough, do you? Thatâs fine with me, I donât mind being pushed around a little.â
âStop,â you pleaded with him. âPlease, can I just speak for a second?â
âSay whatever youâd like, darling.â
âListen⊠Astarion, wasnât it?â
He smirked at you. âIt is, but you can call me whatever you'd like.â
âAstarion, you donât have to do this.â
âOf course I donât. I want to. Donât you want me?â He moved to get into your space again but you stepped back and he didnât follow.Â
You did your best to push past his flirtation. âHow often does he make you do things like this?â
âLike this? Not often. My lovers donât typically live to see the morning. Although I suppose it doesnât make much difference to me,â he said with a laugh, one that felt practiced and put on.Â
âOh.â You couldnât imagine it, being forced to not only be with so many people but to send them off to their deaths night after night.Â
Your eyes drifted down as your thoughts spiraled and he grabbed your chin, pulling your face up so your eyes met once more, directing all your attention back to him. âIs that whatâs bothering you, darling? I promise Cazador has given me very clear instructions on how well you should be treated.â
âNo, thatâs not the problem.â You dropped your head into your hands as you tried to figure out what to do. âGod, this is such a nightmare. Listen, I can sleep on the couch, you should take the bed,â you said, gesturing vaguely at the loveseat tucked in the corner of the room.
âCome now, thatâs not necessary my dear,â he practically purred at you.Â
You felt a little more nauseous with every pass he made at you. âYou really donât have to do that, I swear. Not in here at least. It would probably be prudent to pretend in front of Cazador but thatâs an issue for tomorrow.â
âEven if you donât want sex,â he said with a little roll of his eyes. âThe couch is not necessary. I promise I wonât bite.â
It was a bad idea. You knew that much. But the bed looked so soft and comfortable and the couch wasnât even long enough to fit all of you if you tried to lie down.Â
You sat on the bed tentatively and sunk into the mattress. It was by far the most comfortable bed youâd ever been in and you ran your hand along the silky sheets. âAlright, but weâll just be sleeping,â you said with a pointed look in his direction.Â
In a heartbeat, you were pushed back onto the mattress and he was looking over you, his hands on either side of your head as he grinned down at you. âAre you certain, my dear? I could make you feel so good.â
âIâm sure you could,â you said with a smile, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes lit up at the contact and it was clear that he thought heâd done it, that he'd won you over. âBut that wonât be necessary.â
You leaned up and pressed a kiss into his forehead before gently pushing him off of you back towards his side of the bed.Â
He seemed wounded and frightened by the gesture, a far cry from the practiced seduction youâve seen from him so far. âYou donât want me.â
âI assure you that is not the problem,â you said, careful to keep your voice gentle.Â
He did not seem convinced, a tragic vulnerability starting to seep through his facade.
As he stared at you, a worried look plastered across his face, you grabbed some of the many pillows from the top of the bed, placing a few between the two of you.Â
He scoffed at the sight. âI donât know what those are meant to stop. Not exactly impenetrable security against a rabid vampire.â
âTheyâre not for you. I have a tendency to get⊠grabby, in my sleep.â
He huffed, folding his arms as he finally conceded ground and laid down next to you. âGood. Maybe youâll be more interesting than when you are awake.â
You doubted heâd find you snuggling a pillow particularly interesting but you let him interpret your words however he pleased.Â
âPerhaps. Now if itâs all the same to you, Iâm going to sleep now.â
âItâs not all the same to me, thank you very much.â
âAlright,â you said with a yawn. âGoodnight.â
You woke up with your arms wrapped around a pillow from your little wall, holding it close to your chest as you eased your eyes open to see Astarion unabashedly staring at you.Â
He spoke as soon as he caught wind you were awake. âYou werenât kidding about being grabby, youâre practically smothering the poor thing.â
Your face warmed slightly at his words, embarrassment fluttering in your chest. âItâs an old habit. What about you, couldnât sleep?â
âElves donât sleep.â
You suddenly felt incredibly foolish. âOh. Right. So youâve just been sitting there all night then?â
âI tranced for a while. It was certainly a more boring night than I expected.â
You yawned as you sat up, setting the pillow youâd been holding behind you. âTerribly sorry to disappoint. Hopefully, there will be many more boring nights in your future.â
He pulled back, cocking his head to the side. âWhat?â
You realized you hadnât told him of your little scheme yet. âI was thinking. This whole meeting with Cazador was more of a formality than anything. Heâs killed too many of our people, we need to make this deal, at least until we can figure out how to sort him out for good. But he doesnât know that and maybe, if youâre amiable to it, I could throw in a final term to the deal. Where he has to give me⊠well, you. Not that you should be his to give, but I figure if I can save someone from this place and I didnât, what kind of a monster would I be?â
His eyes narrowed. âWhat do you want from me?â
You shrugged. âIâd say nothing if I thought youâd believe me. If you need to rationalize it, letâs just say itâs an ego boost. Now I get to feel like a good person and you get to leave this place. As long as I donât mess it up too badly.â
Mistrust was written across his face and it seemed like the first completely honest emotion youâd been able to pull from him.Â
âI donât believe you.â
âThatâs fine, we can fix that after I get you out of here.â You sighed. âWish me luck. Iâm an awful liar.â
He trailed after you as you left, seemingly incapable of letting you out of his sight.Â
Maybe he was. Maybe heâd been ordered to do so. You had no way to tell. It made your heart hurt, the sight of him here, the idea of Cazadorâs other spawn that you couldnât save. At least not yet.Â
He followed you like a loyal pup all the way to Cazador, who was lounging in a chair without a care in the world.Â
He chuckled at the sight of Astarion behind you. âAnd how was my spawn? To your satisfaction?â
You swallowed down that bile that rose in you as you said, âHe was a delight. I was wondering, in the name of our agreement, is there any way I could keep him? Itâs just that Iâve grown quite fond of him so very quickly.â
Cazador laughed, a putrid, callous thing. âIâm sure. He can be quite⊠convincing. And this would make you amenable to my terms?â
You nodded. âAll the monster hunters in Baldur's Gate will focus their attention in⊠other places. You and yours will be entirely safe from our wrath.â
âAnd if weâd like to push you in the direction of another creature?â
You gave him a tactful nod. âWe could be convinced.â
âGood.â He laughed once more. âTypical monster hunter. You pretend to hate us and yet you want to keep a vampire pet.â
Astarion leaned into your side and you felt a little queasy at the performance as you snaked your arm around him. âLike I said, he was very convincing.â
He sighed. âYou drive a hard bargain. As you wish, you shall have your terms. Just tell me if he doesnât behave. I can get him sorted right out for you.â
It took everything you had not to lunge at him thinking about everything heâd put this poor man through. âOf course, but Iâm sure Iâll be able to manage just fine on my own.â
You got out of there as fast as you could. Even if you hadnât had Astarion with you, you didnât want to spend any longer than absolutely necessary with the monster.Â
You pulled him through the streets back to the house you were staying in, racing against the sun. You barely had enough time to get him there and pull him inside, but you had a feeling heâd prefer this mad dash over staying another day with his master.
Regardless, the whole time your eyes were darting around, looking for places you could hide him should you need to.Â
You wondered what youâd even do if it had come to that. Just sit with him for the rest of the day, you supposed, unless he wanted to try a risky maneuver with a thick blanket.Â
You tried to pull him inside but it was like an invisible wall had stopped him in his tracks. You gave him a questioning look and he grumbled, âYou have to invite me.â
âOh! Iâm sorry, come in!â
As soon as the words left your mouth, he rushed in beside you and you set yourself to making sure all of the widows were fully shut, pulling the curtains tight.Â
He watched you dart about, tugging at the thick fabric. His gaze was judgemental but at least the emotion seemed genuine.Â
As soon as you were mostly certain he wouldnât burn to death, you turned to him. âWe wonât be leaving for a while so you can make yourself at home. If you need anything just let me know, okay?â
You didnât see him for the whole day. You were busy and he made himself scarce. You couldnât blame him. You imagined heâd long since made it a habit to avoid being seen by anyone. Anyone except his forced prey, you supposed. But still, he hid away from them, in his own way.Â
âAstarion, can you come look at this?â you called out as the sun finally dipped fully below the horizon, hoping he was close enough that he could hear you. And hoping he would come even if he did.Â
It took a few minutes but eventually he came sauntering down the stairs.Â
âYes, my dear?â
You grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the window, gesturing out at the carriage that was illuminated by torches alone, shrouded in the thick darkness of the night. âDo you think itâll be alright? The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.â
He stared out at the carriage youâd spent hours painstakingly attempting to make impenetrable to light. Youâd painted the windows black, hung blankets over top of them, shoved old linens in the cracks in the doors.Â
He cautiously headed outside, staring at the carriage with furrowed brows. âDid you do this?â
âYeah, I tested it during the day. It seemed pretty solid but obviously you couldnât check then. I could bring a torch around the outside if you wanted to check for yourself.â
He looked at you like you were mad. âWe could have just traveled at night.â
You shrugged. âItâs a two-day journey and I didnât want to depend on inns and shelter along the road to protect you during the day. This seemed safer.â
He opened the door, sitting inside and looking around at the painstakingly covered windows and cracks, and you couldnât tell if he seemed uncomfortable because he was worried about the sun or because of the sheer amount of effort youâd clearly put into it.Â
âDo you want anything for the ride?â you asked, pushing forward. âSome books or something? I could go get them for you.âÂ
âYour company is all I could ask for.â
âOkay, but for real though. Never mind, Iâll just get you some books.â You doubted youâd be able to pull an honest answer from him for a very long time, if at all.Â
After a frenzied book run, the two of you were ready to head off, locking yourselves inside the carriage until the sun set once more.Â
The bumps of the carriage jostled the two of you as you rode. The flickering orange light of two lanterns, one for each of you, barely illuminated the darkened space and you couldnât help but feel a little claustrophobic.Â
He was sitting, staring at you, book untouched on his lap.Â
Youâd brought as many options as you could think of, romance novels, epics, history, a horticultural book that had pulled a snort and an incredulous look from him when heâd seen it.Â
He didnât seem much in the mood for reading and under his unblinking gaze, neither were you. Instead, you stared at the painted-over window, wishing there was anything else you had to look at in the dim light.Â
âAdmiring your paint job?â he asked with a chuckle as you continued to refuse to meet his unblinking gaze.Â
âSomething like that.â You decided to take the broken silence as an opportunity. Anything was better than being silently stared at and you werenât sure youâd get a better chance to ask him. âCan I ask you something thatâs potentially insensitive?â
He smirked at you with that practiced allure. âAsk away.â
âWere you one of his favorites? Cazador's, I mean.â
He scoffed. âIn a way. He loved torturing me more than anyone else.â
You leaned forward. âSo it might be easier to convince him to part with the others?â
His eyes narrowed at you and you watched as he tried once again to figure out what your angle was. âYouâve got a real bleeding heart, donât you?â
âWeâve been unable to hurt him for so long, failed at it for years and years. Every day you were there was because we werenât good enough at what we did. I canât help it, I feel a little responsible for you. For all of you.â
âOh please,â he said with a roll of his eyes. âLike Iâm not one of the monsters you hunt.â
You cocked your head to the side. âWhy would you be? Who have you hurt?â
He laughed a cold, cruel laugh. âDarling, you have no idea how many people Iâve hurt.â
âYou havenât though. Cazador hurt people through you, sure. But you didnât hurt anyone, not really. Youâre a victim just as much as they were. At least we managed to save some of them.â
He squirmed in his seat. âI think they might disagree.â
You shrugged, something delicate in his eyes telling you not to push. âMaybe.â
The rest of the ride was completed in silence, not only fueled by your discomfort but now also Astarionâs irritation with you.Â
Your driver gave a knock on the door as the sun disappeared, just as youâd instructed him to, and you opened it to find a quaint little inn surrounded by woods in front of you.Â
He left to take care of the horses and you led Astarion inside, securing two rooms for the three of you. In a perfect world you wouldâve gotten Astarion his own room, but his vampirism wasnât exactly subtle and you couldnât help but worry that some overzealous patron of this establishment might take it upon themself to rid the inn of the supposed monster.Â
You led him up to the room youâd be sharing and as you entered, he stood in the doorway and took in the sight.Â
You were quick to give him a quiet, âCome in,â but he brushed you off.
âThatâs for houses, not individual rooms. I justâŠthereâs two beds.â
You nodded. âYup. For two people.â
He eyed you suspiciously, as if the two beds might be part of some devious scheme. After a few moments, he seemed to decide it was just a normal room and took the bed nearest the door.Â
He seemed paler than heâd been the night before and a horrible thought struck you. âOh my god, you need to eat! I havenât been feeding you.â
He chuckled. âGood luck with that, there arenât many disposable animals out here. At least, not ones you could catch. Unless you want to let me at the horses, but that would leave us in quite the predicament.â
âI mean, you could drink from me. Not everything, obviously, but I could spare some.â
You held out your hand to him, presenting your wrist and looking at him expectantly.
âIâm not allowed to drink human blood,â he spat back at you, the bile of hundreds of years of resentment lacing his words. âCazador doesnât allow it.â
âYouâre not his anymore. He gave control over to me and I say you can do whatever youâd like and that you donât take orders from anyone anymore. The offer stands.â You went to withdraw your hand until his hunger bested his hesitation but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling away.Â
âWell,â he said with a sly smile. âAs long as youâre offering, I would be a fool to turn you down.â
It was so strange how quickly it happened, how easily he could slip right back into that faux confidence.Â
He leaned towards you and you backed away at the hungry look in his eyes, one you were more than familiar with.Â
âIf you really want to Iâm sure thereâs ways we could make this a more rewarding experience for you,â he said and in a heartbeat he maneuvered himself over you, his hands interlaced with yours and holding you to the mattress.Â
You pulled yourself back in an instant, leaning against the headboard as you presented your wrist to him once more.Â
You didnât fault him for it. After years of surviving with it, of course he would keep trying to draw you in with his sexuality. The instinct couldnât be snuffed out overnight.
Youâd bat away his attempts as many times you needed to, try and make him understand. You werenât sure if it would ever work, not fully, but youâd keep trying.Â
âItâs easier this way,â you said in explanation, giving him something to latch onto that didnât feel like rejection.Â
He rolled his eyes. âEasier, Iâm sure. Typical, I got a master whoâs allergic to fun.â
âIâm not your master. You can do as you please, could leave now if you wanted.â
âAnd go where?â he snapped. âYou can pretend if you must but I know what I am. I know where I stand. I am a lot of things, but I am no fool.â
âI know.â
He studied you for a moment, eyes daring across your face before he pulled your wrist towards him, digging his teeth into your flesh.Â
The sharp pain lasted for a heartbeat before it faded away to a dull ache. He lapped at the open wound, his put-on demeanor disappearing as he got lost in it.Â
He cradled your hand like it was a lifeline. In a way, you supposed it was.Â
You could feel yourself getting lightheaded as he fed but you refused to stop him. You would not command it of him, would rather die than force him into it. You let out a quiet whine, your form slumping back into the bed.Â
He drew away immediately and your blood began pouring onto the white sheets of the bed.Â
A moment of panic reflected in his red eyes before he grabbed the corner of the sheets, wrapping them around your wound.Â
âThere,â he said, his voice quieter than his normal bravado. âShould keep you from bleeding out.â
Your eyes were locked on his collarbone, a dark bruise becoming visible as your blood fled through his previously starved body. The longer you looked, the more of them you could see, peeking out from under his clothes.Â
âOh, you poor thing,â you said in hushed tones, hands moving to reach for him before stopping in their tracks, unsure if your touch would be wanted.Â
He was otherwise preoccupied, his eyes alight with something entirely new. He looked stronger, livelier. There was a warmth to his cheeks youâd never seen before.Â
You resisted the urge to touch him, to see if heâd become warmer as your blood had begun to run through him, bringing a new light to his eyes.Â
âYou should get some rest,â he said, looking down at you lying exhausted and drained on the bed. âYou certainly need it.â
You barely had time to laugh at his comment before youâd drifted off.Â
The ride back was as quiet as it had been the day before, if a little less uncomfortable. Astarion still stared for much of it but he at least pretended to read his book. The healthy flush to his cheeks seemed to come with a bit of newfound comfort and ease around you that made you puff up with pride, even if you still felt a little woozy from the night before.Â
âHere we are!â you said as a knock sounded on the door, opening it and leading him inside your home. It was an old manor of your family's, not particularly big, right on the edge of nowhere, and perhaps falling apart just a little but more than suitable for your purposes. âItâs a little bit of a mess but I kind of like it that way. Come on, Iâll show you your room.â
You decided to put him in a room that was just a few doors down from your own, pointing out just where he could go to find you if he needed anything.Â
You laid down to sleep once you got him situated, more exhausted than you typically were at this time of night. Despite how tired you were, presumably from the blood loss, you had to fight the urge to go and check on Astarion just one more time.Â
You hadnât known him for long but youâd already developed an intensely protective instinct towards the man.Â
You did your best to put him out of your mind when a knock sounded at the door.Â
âCome in,â you called out. You made no attempt to suppress your smile when he peeked in the doorway.Â
âI think Iâve grown accustomed to your company,â he said sheepishly, and for once it didnât seem like he was trying to seduce you. He seemed worn down, looking just as tired as you felt, a defeated air present on his face.Â
You were too tired for subtlety, opening your arm to him and muttering a sleepy, âJust come here.â
He seemed grateful to not have to explain himself. To not have to ask.Â
He sat on the bed, looking down at you where you lay.Â
âNo pillow this time?â he asked in that snide voice he used so often.Â
âI can if you want. Just thought you might appreciate the closeness.â
He rolled his eyes dramatically. âFine, Iâll be your little pillow to hug. Fair warning though, I run cold.â
You tried and failed to suppress a yawn as he got into bed beside you and you wrapped your arms softly around him. âI donât mind. Gânight.â
âGoodnight, my dear.â
Just like that, it became a bit of unspoken habit between the two of you. You felt it might honestly kill him to comment on it, to ask you for affection. But with no words, no pleasantries, there he was every night, beside you.Â
One night, about a week into his residence in your home, he seemed more restless than normal, fiddling endlessly with your hand, incapable of sitting still. You turned to him with a pointed look. âCome on, out with it, itâs not good to go to bed with things left unsaid.â
He scoffed. âWhy not?â
You shrugged. âI donât know, what if I die in my sleep or something.â
âIf you die in your sleep, I think I might have bigger problems than things I didnât say to you. Namely, some monster hunters who might take issue with the vampire you died next to.â
You shook your head. âNo, I already told them about you, they wouldnât hurt you.â
That seemed to take him by surprise, pulling back a bit at your words. âYou did?â
âOf course I did. Now come on, out with it, whatâs going on it that head of yours?â
He sighed dramatically and flopped back on his pillow. âItâs really nothing.â
âNot if it's bothering you. I want to help.â
âDid you mean it?â he blurted out, like the words had to be forced out of him quickly or they wouldnât come out at all. âWhen you said you wanted to save the rest of them too?â
âOf course I did. And I will. At least if I have anything to say about it,â you said quietly, your stomach turning at the thought of the other spawn youâd left behind.
He turned from you as if youâd slapped him. âRight. Iâm going to sleep in my own room. I shouldâve been in there anyway, this was silly. Goodnight, darling.â
You chased after him in a heartbeat, catching up at him before heâd even managed to open his door. âWait, what did I do? Astarion?â
He was an unstoppable force, storming into his own room.Â
âI donât understand what I did,â you pleaded with him, desperate to fix it. You raked through your conversation, trying to dissect every word spoken, every facial expression. You found nothing. Shouldnât he be happy you wanted to help them? It didnât make sense to you.Â
He sat on his bed, one heâd never slept in, arms crossed and brows furrowed. When he spoke, there was a faux casualty to it, like he was trying to pretend none of it mattered to him. âIâm just making room for the next stray you let into your bed.â
You sat next to him, careful to keep your distance as you moved your head down to try and catch his eye. âYou know Iâm not replacing you, right?â
He huffed in response, turning away from you again.Â
You made sure to keep your tone gentle and soft. âYou know I wouldnât let just any vampire spawn sleep next to me, right? Itâs because I care about you, itâs not just because youâre there. No one is replacing you and I promise there is enough of me to help people while also still being there for you. I will save as many of them as I can until I can rid this world of Cazador but youâre not just Cazadorâs victim, youâre my friend.â
He turned to you suddenly. âStop saying that. Stop saying youâre going to hunt down Cazador. If he catches wind of any of this youâre dead. At least, if youâre lucky youâll be dead. And then where will I be?â
âHey, Iâve been doing this a long time. I know what Iâm doing, we all know what weâre doing. Heâs not going to get me.â
âThatâs why you made that deal, is it? Did all the other hunters he slaughtered know what they were doing too? You arenât a threat to him, you are a nuisance. You need to stop,â he snarled.Â
You couldnât stop. You both knew that, could see it as clear as day.Â
Instead, you just said a quiet, âCome on, come to bed,â and walked out of the room.Â
He trailed behind you, the unendable argument weighing heavy on the both of you, no more words spoken as he slipped under the sheets. You gave his hand a squeeze, trying your best to reassure him despite knowing it would never work. Not as long as he was still out there.Â
And then, as he leaned into your space, head brushing against your arm, something heâd been getting slowly more comfortable doing, something occurred to you that should have many days ago, back when heâd first arrived here. It was strange that he was here, now. Not just because of his uncomfortability with any sort of nonsexual closeness, but because of when it was.Â
Not only did elves not sleep the same way nor as long as humans did, but vampires slept during the day typically, to enjoy the night as best they could.Â
âIâm going to start sleeping during the day,â you said decisively. âThat way we can keep doing this,â you said as you gestured around vaguely, âand you can go out, can do things with your waking hours. Iâm sorry it didnât occur to me sooner.â
His eyes widened. âYouâd really let me leave?â
His surprise felt like a shard of ice through your chest. âOf course I would. You can do whatever you want. Iâll even do my best to help if youâll ask me for it.â Another horrible thought struck you. âWait, you didnât think you could leave and youâve been with me most nights. What have you been eating?â
âWhatever I could find. I make for wonderful pest control.â
Your heart sank. You shouldâve considered this sooner, never put him through any of this.Â
âHere, drink from me,â you said, sticking out your hand. âI can get some bigger animals for you, keep them here so you donât have to hunt for them if youâd prefer, but for now I will have to do.â
He hesitated, although his gaze was less suspicious than the last time youâd done this. Instead, he looked nervous. âYouâve⊠youâve already done so much for me. I shouldnât.â
âAstarion, youâre starving,â you said quietly, trying to reason with him.Â
âIâd rather not push it. Eventually, even your charity will run out.â
You shook your head. âIt will not. Itâs fine if you donât believe me, I know itâll take time, but I will keep being here for you until it sinks in. Promise.â
He laughed quietly, seeming more for himself than for you, something that had been happening more and more lately. âYou underestimate my distrust, I think I could outlast you.â
You smiled back. âChallenge accepted. But until then, you need to eat.â
You held out your wrist for him, the marks from the last time just beginning to fade. He took it, gingerly, bringing it slowly to his mouth and watching your face for any apprehension.Â
You showed none, instead giving him a soft smile. âGo on. I donât bite.â
That got a real laugh out of him. âThatâs not funny.â
He pressed a soft kiss into your skin before sinking his fangs in, that sharp pain coming with a flutter of warmth inside your chest.Â
He was slower this time, more intentional as he drank. You couldnât help but wonder if it was because he wasnât as hungry or if it was because it felt less like his meal might be ripped away from him unceremoniously.Â
He didnât get as lost in it this time, eyes flicking up to meet yours, checking in on you.Â
You didnât even get the chance to try and tell him you were feeling woozy before he drew back, pulling a handkerchief you hadnât even noticed off the side table to wrap around your wrist.Â
âWouldnât want to get our sheets all bloody,â he said as he knotted it tight around your wound.Â
Your hands moved slowly as soon as he released them, reaching up towards his face and giving him plenty of time to back away.Â
For a moment, when he first saw you reaching for him, he pulled back and you were ready to retreat and shower him in endless apologies when, as suddenly as heâd moved away, he leaned into your touch.Â
Gentle hands cradled his face, ones heâd flinched away from but a moment before. He leaned into them openly now, unabashedly, making a home between your palms.Â
He was warmer like this, with your blood rushing through him.Â
You pulled him closer as his head tucked right under yours, your fingers carding gently through his hair.Â
âIâm not going anywhere,â you whispered, barely loud enough to reach his ears, and you had no idea if he believed you.Â
You doubted it, doubted that youâd been able to break through all those years of his living hell so quickly. His walls had been carefully constructed for a reason, and you understood why he was so hesitant to break them down. You couldnât blame him, would never blame him.Â
It didnât really matter. Youâd keep trying either way.















