I’m really confused about my gender right now, and I have nobody I can talk to atm.
So, I was born female, but identity as gender fluid because as my gender often changes. This has been fine for the past 2 years, but since April, I’ve been switching between being non-binary and being a dude, and hating being referred to as a girl or having a girly name. At first I thought I would go back to being a girl eventually like I usually do, but it’s been four months and I’m still not. I’ve even started wondering if I’m trans.
That’s not the confusing part though. The confusing part is that I don’t wanna be a dude. I love girlhood, I love being a girl, but being called she/her and my name have been killing me inside. No matter how much I love being a girl, I still feel like a guy. I have no idea what to do.
I won’t be mad if u can’t help me, but I really am desperate. I’m hoping this is just a phase, but it’s not looking likely.
Hey!
Sorry about the late response, my friend, but honestly this sideblog has been long long out of commission. But I came across this and I wanna help.
This sounds tough and confusing -- I'm sorry. All throughout life our relationship with our gender can absolutely fluctuate, and sometimes it does come back to what it was, and sometimes it doesn't. But phases are still important, no matter how long they last, just like phases of the moon. Personally, I thought my relationship with my gender was pretty stable, but I've been re-evaluating it recently, even though I'm almost 30. It's changing, and that's okay.
I always come back to this advice: seek happiness. What would being comfortable being in your body and in your identity look like? What can get you there? Come to terms with the fact that this might change in time, but what matters is right now. What brings happiness?
Additionally, femininity and masculinity don't have to be mutually exclusive. You can also use any set of pronouns despite your gender identity. Those don't have to "match".
I hope that you're able to find more peace navigating your gender journey, and have some fun with it along the way!
You've got this.
Much love, Icarus (they/them)













