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Masterlist of Theories, Analysis, and Headcanons

Hi! I love a lot of books and media, but this account is mostly devoted to ACOTAR at the moment. I don’t write fiction but I do enjoy sharing analysis and headcanons.

While I enjoy reading non-canonical ships because fanfic writers are amazing, I am not interested in debating what ACOTAR ships will be canon. Full stop. Feel free to block or scroll past silently if you don’t like my posts. I stay within my tags and don’t invite confrontation.

Below are links of my posts in an organized fashion.

#acotar #gwynriel #elucien #nessian #emorie #feysand

perlukafarinn

Canon divergent AU where Shane is a little more paranoid and when Hayden first comments on "Boston Lily", he decides he has to do something to break up the pattern and make it not so noticeable that he's got someone on Boston.

Not seeing Rozanov is not an option, so instead Shane picks out a few other cities to regularly go out by himself in. He'll go for a long walk, maybe sit down somewhere for a drink, and then catch a taxi back to the hotel an appropriate amount of time later. It's honestly pretty nice, unwinding by himself in this way, and now disappearing after games is not a thing specific to Boston! It's just another strange Hollander quirk!

Unfortunately, he fails to account for the guys on the team jumping on the most obvious explanation for all these disappearances, which is that Shane now has a girl in every port.

Word about this starts to spread quick, because it is so out of character for Shane, and pretty soon half the league is under the impression that he's some secret playboy.

Ilya is extremely not chill about this rumor.

#hollanov

rainbow-femme

Someone online makes a comment about how Shane probably isn’t a very good boyfriend, saying his flat affect and resting neutral face in paparazzi pics and video must mean he’s detached and not affectionate compared to Ilya who is much more overtly affectionate

Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

Hayden gets a video of Shane letting Ruby brush his hair and fill it with clips while he and Jade do Ilya’s nails, Ilya laying with a face mask and cucumbers over his eyes and his head on Shane’s lap

#hollanov

cloudabserk

“shane and ilya’s wedding song was diamonds by rihanna” uh im pretty sure it was the moana soundtrack? as evidenced by these book screenshots my sister sent me:

#hollanov art

perlukafarinn

Shane does an interview after they're outed where he says, kind of off-handedly, that the one thing that still bothers him about having to keep their relationship secret for so long is that there are no pictures of them together as a couple from those years.

Someone clips it and it goes viral.

Over the next few days, Shane and Ilya's mentions start to get flooded with pictures. Mostly it's screenshots from various games they played against each other, meticulously picked through by dedicated fans to find every moment Shane and Ilya looked at each other on the ice.

Some screenshots get shared by hundreds of different people because they stand out so obviously: Shane and Ilya meeting each other's eyes during a face off; Ilya looking at Shane while his back is turned, naked longing visible on his face; Shane chasing after Ilya with a small but delighted grin.

There are also pictures from press events, award ceremonies, behind the scenes at All Stars. Seemingly any time Shane and Ilya got captured in the same frame gets dug up and shared.

Finally, a couple of weeks later, the director of Shane and Ilya's CCM commercial posts outtakes from their shoot. It's captioned 'Took a bit of digging but I knew I still had these somewhere! I had to make my contribution to the #HollanovArchives even though this must have been a while before they got together. These kids had crazy chemistry, right from the start!'

Shane hasn't responded to the onslaught yet, too overwhelmed by the (slightly terrifying) dedication of their fans as well as the fact that he now has dozens of pictures clearly displaying his and Ilya's love for each other during a time in their lives when it was so desperately hidden.

He does respond now, sharing the director's post with a sincere (and publicist-approved) caption thanking him and the fans.

Ilya also shares the post, tacking on 'yes if a while means a few hours 👅' like he didn't cry when Shane showed him the videos.

#hollanov

youbitehard

free use shane is amazing, but I feel like we as a fandom are overseeing free use ilya.

free use ilya that, when shane proposes it, in the convoluted way he invents and proposes every kink in the book out of his beautiful mind, ilya thinks it will be the easiest day of his existence. he always wants shane. he wants shane when he's awake, when he's sleeping, when he's eating. he'd throw the chicken parmesan to the fucking floor if shane says, in that sweet voice, I need you inside me I need you now.

free use ilya that sounds even a little bit condescending when he says yes of course I'll be like your dildo I'll be your toy you can fuck me as many times as you want, let's pick a day that we both are home.

but ilya, of course, ilya had forgotten how to the letter is shane, ilya had forgotten how fucking fast shane can bring himself off on ilya's cock, and the thing is—shane is fucking relentless. ilya wakes up already inside shane, and by the time shane is coming ilya is just starting to get there, but when shane is done he's done so it's not his problem ilya didn't come. no worries, shane will want him soon enough. and yes. soon enough he wants him, but he wants his fingers fingers gimme your fingers ilya and ilya. ilya fucking complies, and when he tries to finish himself off, after shane as finished for a second time almost breaking his fingers with how hard he was squeezing on him by the end, shane looks at ilya, almost disappointed. because, you know, dildos don't fucking come. at least not on their own.

so ilya pushes through, jaws almost hurting and balls definitely hurting but something hazy starts overtaking him, and maybe it's just that there is no more blood in his body apart from the one responsible to maintain his cock hard every time just a whiff of shane's scent comes close to him.

so the day is torture because the next time shane just sits on his face and comes like that and at this point ilya can't barely talk, he's soft and pliant and everything is beyond a veil of pleasure fog where only shane comes through, only his voice, you're doing it so good, you're being such a nice toy, I'm so lucky so lucky so lucky.

when shane finally sits down on his cock again it's like fucking into a furnace, ilya is so gone he just takes it while shane rides him in the sofa, not even bouncing, just grinding against him and letting his saliva fall into ilya's open mouth, tears pooling on the sides of his eyes. and he's not gonna make it, it's just impossible, he's going to come and shane will be disappointed because he did not make him one more time; shane pats at his cheek, not even hard, focus on me, babe, I'm almost there, you can do it, and he directs ilya's hand, first to his mouth to spit on it, and then to his cock so he can jerk him off while he grinds and grinds and grinds and finally, oh, fuck, he finally makes that sound that always precedes his orgasm, it's his fourth, ilya thinks, or maybe his fifth and ilya has had zero, nil, nada, and shane is calling him babe and saying now now now you can, now you're allowed and ilya just lets himself go, everything black and stars in the inside of his eyelids and everything that exists is only shane and the squeeze of his rim around ilya's cock, milking him dry, really really kissing him and bringing themselves down from the fucking clouds.

so good. he says and ilya fucking melts under him. my little toy, so good for me, filling me up only when i ask him to. and ilya is kind of smiling but the side of his cheeks are full of drying tears and he loves shane so much and he will never, never again underestimate his husband.

#hollanov smut

ramslambsandwolves

Yuna watching Shane and Ilya roughhousing in the backyard with narrow eyes and David walks up and places a comforting hand on her shoulder , “it’s fine they’re not really fighting” and she nods “yeah I know I know it’s just - they’re like cats a little. I can never tell if they’re actually fighting, playing or,” she clears her throat and blushes, “or getting frisky.” David opens his mouth, then closes it because honestly…he can’t tell either. Shane had accidentally given Ilya a bloody nose the last time they wrestled and they just had to go home to get a Ilya a new shirt and which made sense at the time but now….huh. “I think boys will be boys. Even the queer ones.” David replies but then Ilya has Shane is a headlock and Ilya’s saying something to him as Shane tries to squirm out of his grip and-

“but I do think they’ll be heading home soon.” David chuckles.

#hollanov

lavenderprose

Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.

"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"

Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.

"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"

Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.

"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."

"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.

"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"

"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"

"No," Shane says, shortly.

"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"

"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"

"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."

"Mom!"

"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."

"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"

"Stop," Shane hisses.

"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.

"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"

"Please stop."

#hollanov

lexilexilexilexile

Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved

#hollanov

gaynehollander

I think Shane really gets off on the idea of Ilya fucking him when Shane doesn't feel like it. Like, I think the idea of Ilya taking his pleasure from Shane's body while Shane is entirely unaroused and is purely being used for Ilya's pleasure is one of his ultimate fantasies. The only problem being that Shane has never been unaroused when Ilya is within 10 feet of him.

nevcolleil

Aw, the inherent flaw in any 'shane hollander for free use' plot.

'Use' implies that you are making use of your lover with their consent. And not, in fact, servicing the insatiable little freak giving you his most convincing innocent eyes (which are hardly convincing.)

All like: 'oh NOW? again? already? oh, but how could you possibly want sex again already? it has only been forty-three minutes and seventeen seconds. not that i have been counting... because it has been so lo- because it has been such a short time since-'

While you are: 'OMG HOLLANDER I HAD TO RECOVER. I AM RECOVERING AS FAST AS I CAN HOLY SHIT. WE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE DAYS. THIS IS NOT ENOUGH USE FOR YOU??'

And Shane is like '...' and then 'no.'

#hollanov smut

lexicanons

Ilya’s doctor warns him that antidepressants often decrease sex drive but after eight weeks of taking the meds, the opposite has happened. His sex drive has dramatically increased. He’s horny all the time, and he’s constantly thinking about fucking Shane. It’s pretty much the only thing he thinks about. It’s the off-season, and they’re at the cottage, so he has mostly uninterrupted access to Shane and can fuck him around the clock, but he knows he can’t go on like this. They were having dinner with Yuna and David the other night and he almost bent Shane over the dining room table while his in-laws where in the kitchen. Ilya was horrified when he got hard from Shane placing a piece of garlic bread on his plate, and had to lie about being too full to move from the table so he had time to will his erection away before his in-laws saw it. He has to figure this out before the season starts or he might bend Shane over and fuck him in front of everyone in the locker room. He goes back to the doctor and tells them his symptoms, and they switch him to another medicine. Ilya tells Shane about the medication switch and he swears he sees a brief flash of disappointment on Shane’s face.

#hollanov smut

lexicanons

Post-TLG Hollanov are woken at an ungodly hour by Shane’s phone. Shane answers and Yuna tells him to put her on speaker phone. Shane does and she tells them not to freak out but someone put a hidden camera in their hotel room when they were last in St. Louis, and the video is now on the internet. Yuna is working to get it taken down, but it’s spread like wildfire. Shane and Ilya are like “oh shit” and start to panic because the last time they played in St Louis a really bad snow storm rolled in, so they were stuck there for an extra day and spent the whole day fucking. An unauthorized Hollanov sex tape hits the internet. Half of the fandom is like “don’t watch it, respect their privacy” and other half is giving play-by-play commentary and writing essays about the video. #ProRiderShane, #ServiceTopIlya, and #TwoBigDicks are trending. Shane wants the earth to swallow him whole while Ilya tweets out “Damn, we look so good together” and Shane takes Ilya’s phone and flushes it down the toilet.

#hollanov

lexicanons

Shane sees some people talking shit online like “Still can’t believe Ilya married boring ass Shane” and decides to do the Peloton Ad to challenge the boring narrative. The ad is a hit. Sales are up, stock prices are up, people don’t think Shane is all that boring anymore. It’s so successful that other companies immediately start reaching out to Shane for endorsement deals, but Shane never sees any of these emails or messages because his jealous ass husband deletes them all. Shane doesn’t notice anything until an executive shows up at a game and catches Shane and Ilya as they leave the arena. They ask Shane about the emails and Shane is so confused while Ilya quickly shuffles them away. Later that night, Shane goes through his deleted folder and sees all of the emails. Shane confronts his husband and Ilya admits the peloton ad was so sexy and he got jealous. Shane just laughs and calls Ilya an idiot. They end up doing a Calvin Klein ad campaign together and everyone calls it softcore porn.

#hollanov

coyoteshane

sometimes Ilya and Shane pretend the cottage is a semi public space when they're fucking. like, Ilya will push Shane up against a railing outside on the deck, pulling his shorts down just enough to grope at his ass and play with his hole, telling him that he's been wanting to touch him all day. One of Ilya's hands would grip Shane's chin while the other one would still be on his ass. "You've been teasing me with those tiny fucking shorts. Waiting for me to just take you, huh?" Shane would try to deny it, say something along the lines of, "Those are my favorite ones. They the most comfortable" or some shit.

Ilya would bite Shane's neck as a warning, a playful way to tell him to stop lying. "You've been begging for it. Look at you being so fucking needy. Letting me show you off." Shane would moan at that. Pushing his as back into Ilya's crotch, somehow managing to get his mouth on one of Ilya's fingers, sucking on it. "You like that, don't you? Me showing you off?"

And their little game would play on and end with Ilya fucking Shane against the railing, telling him what a good boy he is.

#hollanov smut

ziusura

This is so highly Americanized lmao. Dubcon and free use abounds. Various pairings and arrangements. Contains Ilya and Shane with others if that will bother you.

I’m thinking about a frat au set during covid. Think 2020-2021 school year when events couldn’t happen and frats/sororities were being reprimanded if even a secret party happened (and Covid spikes + contact tracer hell when they did). Bars are closed. Only secret events happening. Probably most of the frat funds are being spent on beer that the frats just drink themselves bored out of their skull bc classes are online on top of everything else.

Marly, Hayden, JJ, Shane, Ilya all live together in this ambiguous frat house. Imagine other hockey players if you’d like such as Connors and etc. It’s late October and they are all bored. There’s only so much alcohol you can drink with the boys and only the boys. There’s only so much activity when events and even the fucking gym is closed. There’s only so much porn you can watch even with the trove of the internet and yanking your own meat when everyone is practically on top of each other for weeks is…an experience.

So the Deal is struck. The deal, as it began out of the mouth of some supremely horny teenagers and young adults with so few critical thinking skills when their enclosures are under-stimulated, is thus: everyone puts their names in a hat and each week a person is drawn. That person is free game for getting off, a frat-slut if you will. If you want to use him you have to be willing to put your name in, so it’s fair. Hands are fine, but anything else has to be okayed. Crucially, everything has to be done in a public space of the house because otherwise that’s gay. This is just stress relief. Duh.

#hollanov smut

perlukafarinn

Shane does an interview after they're outed where he says, kind of off-handedly, that the one thing that still bothers him about having to keep their relationship secret for so long is that there are no pictures of them together as a couple from those years.

Someone clips it and it goes viral.

Over the next few days, Shane and Ilya's mentions start to get flooded with pictures. Mostly it's screenshots from various games they played against each other, meticulously picked through by dedicated fans to find every moment Shane and Ilya looked at each other on the ice.

Some screenshots get shared by hundreds of different people because they stand out so obviously: Shane and Ilya meeting each other's eyes during a face off; Ilya looking at Shane while his back is turned, naked longing visible on his face; Shane chasing after Ilya with a small but delighted grin.

There are also pictures from press events, award ceremonies, behind the scenes at All Stars. Seemingly any time Shane and Ilya got captured in the same frame gets dug up and shared.

Finally, a couple of weeks later, the director of Shane and Ilya's CCM commercial posts outtakes from their shoot. It's captioned 'Took a bit of digging but I knew I still had these somewhere! I had to make my contribution to the #HollanovArchives even though this must have been a while before they got together. These kids had crazy chemistry, right from the start!'

Shane hasn't responded to the onslaught yet, too overwhelmed by the (slightly terrifying) dedication of their fans as well as the fact that he now has dozens of pictures clearly displaying his and Ilya's love for each other during a time in their lives when it was so desperately hidden.

He does respond now, sharing the director's post with a sincere (and publicist-approved) caption thanking him and the fans.

Ilya also shares the post, tacking on 'yes if a while means a few hours 👅' like he didn't cry when Shane showed him the videos.

#hollanov

You are one of my favourite Gwynriel/Elucien shippers! Go on anon and send this to 5 of your favourite ones! 💖🌻

you’ve been gone so long! Hope you’re well!

Hiii I’m totally fine, thanks for asking! I am taking a short break because waiting for the next book announcement was driving me crazy. 😅 I’m kinda over all the anti-discourse and fandom infighting. I also just started a new job after moving to a new city, so busy on that front!

But I will totally return when there’s a release date! I have a ton of fanfic to catch up on, as well. 💜 I will probably lurk for Nessian Week bc they’re my forever faves.

#ask me anything

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glossamerfaerie