gollum apologist

eolas / he/they / lotr sideblog

[cameron4818]

Gandalf: So I’ve developed an elaborate plan to save middle earth from darkness

Elrond: does it-

Gandalf: it involves hobbits again yeah

[escuerzoresucitado]

[homunculus-argument]

Fantasy idea: The reason why elves always sound so eloquent and poetic is because they only learn human languages from classic human poems and literature - they are aware that the language in them is very quickly outdated, but it's still easier to maintain and keep up than trying to learn new human vernacular every single new century. They don't talk like that in elvish. Going like

"If all came to pass as my eyes see and my heart pieces it together, it was wolves who tore our camp asunder. At the darkest hour, in the shelter of the night and emboldened by the shadows and our unguarded, defenseless sleep, they emerged from the woods like gaunt thieves to seek whatever they could take."

[another elf, in elvish] "What did you say?"

"Wolves. Them fucking varmints ripped up our shit."

[edgar-allan-possum]

When you consider that Gollum is an extremely old man who's spent most of his life in solitary confinement with heroin being injected directly into his brain every day, he's really not that unreasonable

[mashmouths]

why did no one tell me that in the book samwise gamgee initially agrees to go with frodo because he's a lifelong elf weeb and gandalf's enabling him

[chechula]

Tiny doodle to try gouache: Radagast the Brown and his pals ♥

[asaltysquid]

“Where Evil Goes, Darkness Follows”

The og tiny kings. Another print for Calgary convention coming up!! Maybe I’ll even get the hobbits themselves to sign one for me 😤

[shinraalpha]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[sindar-princeling]

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

[perihelions-babyteeth]

I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.

Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.

[baba-the-yagaa]

rip Aragorn, you would've loved carabiners

[m0unta1ndude]

may the horse be with you

[wraith-of-thiodolf]

[killy-deactivated20241228]

My turn to make a hyperspecific poll

I go by two different names

I have an ultra-rare piece of gold jewelry

I really like raw fish. Not sushi, I mean straight from the river

My cousin’s name is one letter off from mine

My cousin’s disappearance had nothing to do with me or my precious ring

I lived in a cave for many years

I like riddles

I fucking hates the bagginses

More than one of these

None of the above

Voting ended onFeb 8, 2024

[vikas-room]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[eastern-bloc-party-archive]

[stardayzzing]

Well I was almost late to post this because I ACCIDENTALLY SLEPT UNTIL 6PM TODAY 😭 But here's my almost late Hobbit Day contribution

I just decided to have fun with and play with the lighting and such!!

And not draw Frodos hands bc leave me alone

[killy-deactivated20241228]

WE DID NOT CALLS YOU A SLUR. SMÉAGOL CAN RECLAIMS IT

[ffoulkes]

Frodo’s fate is no longer in our hands.

[catmask]

i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused

[catmask]