Grade A Fuckery

a place for shit I find funny or interesting

[crow-ig]

Has this been done before? idk lolll but it was stuck in my head so

throws it at yall

[guerrillatech]

[guerrillatech]

[aquar-io]

if you ask me, the guy who put the sword INTO the stone should be king, not the chucklefuck who got it out.

[acekoral]

I assume the guy who put the "sword that makes you the king" into the stone, doesn't really want the position

[monkeychewtoy]

i think the stone should be king since it held the sword the longest

[aquar-io]

[spookberry]

My personal headcanon for Ash Ketchum has always been that regardless of if his dream ever came true he'd never truly stop traveling and learning. Because despite "becoming a pokemon master" being his goal if you actually sit down and watch like Any episode of Pokemon the thing that always holds true is his curiosity and desire to learn everything he possibly can related to pokemon. And he'll try anything to! He did contests and the battle frontier. He'd do those silly little shows with Serena if they'd let him.

So I like to imagine him continuing on in life as this nomad who people don't automatically recognize as anyone important ya know? Just this goofy guy going from place to place always lending a helping hand and hes got a cute lil pikachu on him. And hes often lost somewhere with a friend just exploring the woods to see if he'll find anything cool. Ya know, as hes always been, but older now. And its only once hes drifted once more do you maybe stumble into an article on the pokeweb about him and are like... that guy??

[curvedroygbiv]

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

[spookberry]

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

[spookberry]

the one thing about him is he's also not gonna think he's famous or ever mention it himself

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[ampervadasz]

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

When I was a kid, I thought those pillars went down to the sea floor.

In reality, they usually go down to some large submerged floats.

[kasaron]

I dislike this. 

[isensmith]

[apas-95]

Pillars and floats like that are pretty stable, compared to regular boats, so there’s even a research vessel, called FLIP, that purposefully capsizes itself to be more steady when conducting research.

[mossdealer]

YEA IT FUCKIN IS (id embedded in image)

[wolverinequeen]

Truly terrifying, 

0 stars, 

will not associate with the sea, 

ships do not interact! 

[grymmoires]

[inexplicably-gaining-followers]

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

[daglout]

This text thread brought us into a new age

[emrakul-flying-spaghetti-monster]

The year is 1 ATP (After Then Perish)

[daughter-of-sapph0]

The 17th of August, 2017 is the date that Then Perish was posted by Tumblr user Spooky-Grimwhoire. Friday will be exactly one year after the original posting of Then Perish. Mark your calendars.

[piss-pirate]

Happy new year, 3ATP!

[marowreck-archive]

5 atp yall

[catasters]

[o-kurwa]

[theunvanquishedzims]

#i mean. bro #i hate to break this to you but #you are in fact good at the small amount of piano ur playing #it is not fake

Dude taught himself to compose and calls it fake

“Just string it together in any order, the more random it is the more complex it’ll sound" improvising music on the fly was one of Mozart’s party tricks

Not saying this guy is Mozart but he’s smart and clever and talented and way, way underappreciating himself

[blackwoolncrown]

Bimbo qualities

[windup-angel]

babe wake up new flavor of imposter syndrome dropped

[wizardpotions]

Visit Original Link

[ultrafacts]

Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[majikkant-deactivated20180504]

The picture in the background of the second one

[pizzaismylifepizzaisking]

Tama is boss

[ultrafacts]

[cat-fandom]

THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM

[ultrafacts]

Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]

[retro-geek-deactivated20220412]

For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.

[karinanotcinerina]

Beautiful.

[system-fail-ure-deactivated2021]

Now I’m crying thanks

[sapphic-matriarchy]

and a new cat was hired right?

[clarenecessities]

yep! her name is Nitama (essentially ”second tama” or “tama II”) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy

she works very hard

[beasti]

Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.

[lafayettelabaguette]

Law

[tooiconic]

I’m crying at 11pm over train cats

[sighinastorm]

Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016).  There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention.

^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama

Yontama.

[linkislost]

a legacy

[bemusedlybespectacled]

okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it’s a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back

[kindaoffkilter]

“Sun-tama-tama” (a pun off of “Santama”, lit. “third Tama”) was a calico cat sent for training in Okayama. Sun-tama-tama was considered as a candidate for Tama’s successor, but the Okayama Public Relations representative who had been caring for Sun-tama-tama refused to give the cat up writing, “I will not let go of this child, she will stay in Okayama.” [25]

As of September 2018, Sun-tama-tama is working as the stationmaster in Naka-ku, Okayama and appears occasionally on Tama’s Twitter account.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

Every time I see this post there’s new info and it gets better

[northeastartist]

You are only allowed to scroll pass this after you pay tribute to the great Tama Station masters.

[redchrominance]

The shrine of Tama Daimyōjin (Great gracious deity Tama), next to the Kishi station where she worked.

Nitama presenting her yearly offerings to Tama Daimyōjin on the anniversary of Tama’s Death, June 23 (The offerings are presented by the company president, as Nitama is a cat and thus can’t hold the offerings herself) (Not pictured, but also present, Yontama)

[twimmythebabywitch]

you cannot pass without reblogging guys. i’m sorry, i don’t make the rules.

[dduane]

You can’t not reblog a goddess. It’s just what’s so. :)

[fandomsandfeminism]

So, fun fact- the manga Noragami has an arc where the main character, Yato (a minor kami/God that is down on his luck but trying to make it big time) goes to a council/conference for all the Gods in Japan.

And they are announcing the winner of the “up and coming god” award, and of course, Yato thinks it’s him.

But no-

ITS TAMA!

[dduane]

Always reblogging this.

[oldfilmsflicker]

behind the scenes of The House

[roboco-san]

what really gets me about ace-attorney-sexy-clown.gif is the suspender snap. that has to hurt. why is she doing that

[good-ol-ben-kenobi]

OK…… WHAT?

[roboco-san]

[de-sterren-nacht]

oh! those arent her real tits, theyre balloons! theres a gif of her tits popping when you catch her in a lie

[roboco-san]

holy shit

[hawwwlucha]

isn’t she a murderer in that case she’s in?

[smutav]

[liquid-geodes]

Bitch what the fuck-

[skaiandestiny]

That’s not even her real hair.

[skiplo-wave]

Same energy 

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[beatcroc]

absolutely love that people literally just explaining the things that happen in ace attorney is a world heritage post

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

the guy who designed scythes definitely knew that shit was badass. he didnt care about wheat

[aberrantemotion]

They’re absolutely fucking worthless in any combat scenario.

[acetheism]

But they stab

[aberrantemotion]

No they fucking dont.

[acetheism]

It stabs

[aberrantemotion]

No it aint.

Its point, the only part you can do damage with is way to small and impossiblly hard to maneuver. Its two handed and you cant use it like an axe, swing like a sword, or stab like adagger. The only way for it to be even slightly okay is to put the blade straight up. And that would just be a shitty spear..

[fangedprince-reblogs]

The edge is still sharp though. One spin and you can slash someone’s side with that pretty badly. And it stabs.

[aberrantemotion]

You see that curve at the very end? It means that you cant slash someone’s side. And it fucking doesnt. Need more proof? Articles?

I study weapons as a hobby my dude

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

i think a scythe could kill you with ease thats what i think

[aberrantemotion]

I thought you were deactivated why didnt you stop your url at stonermario

Also no it couldn’t.

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

hmm i think you will die to this

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[guerrillatech]

.

[thenatsdorf]

“I’m gonna rip ya ta shreds!…Ew…blech!”