Utúlie'n aure

Kirsten, 30, Germany, she/her

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[moonshynecybin]

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

[moonshynecybin]

[devilishdescent]

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[heedra]

animal control to major tom

[heedra]

animal control to major tom

[heedra]

grab the cage and find out where that wombat's gone

[playwrongs]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[mythicfictionist]

im incredibly conflicted by the phrase ‘the question is not who will let me but who will stop me’ because on one hand its so fucking raw and powerful but on the other hand it’s derived from ayn rand but on yet another hand the first and primary time ive ever seen it was on a picture of a lawnmower flying through the sky which is the perfect level of absurd and nonsensical that would piss ayn rand off

[mythicfictionist]

reblog to piss off ayn rands ghost

[watchagonnado]

[fella-lovin-fella]

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

[werewolf-transgenderism]

breaking news! new beautiful photo of the best species of frog in the world just dropped

cochranella euknemos, 📸 nuqui_herping on instagram

[werewolf-transgenderism]

for everyone in the notes lamenting that this guy is poisonous: they are not! they're just pretty :) since they're a glass frog, their major defense mechanism is being translucent and hiding their blood while they sleep so they look extra translucent and blend in with leaves <3

[mckitterick]

[slimepost-generator]

it's ok to keep secrets, everybody has some skeletons in the closet. Wraiths in the attic. Ghosts in the bedroom. Mummy in the kitchen. Enchanted armor on the stairs. Slimes in the basement. Maybe a giant spider in the backyard. Beholder or two in the garage. Vampires are also in the closet

[slimepost-generator]

my house is very unsafe

[cannibalchicken]

[serethespider]

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

[yourrottingwife]

SIMPLE GUIDE:

Body Horror: Things that cannot happen in real life. EX: The Thing, stomach mouths, eyes on hands, etc

Gore: Fresh injuries, often severe. EX: Severed leg, gutspill, deep gashes, etc

NEITHER: Healed injuries and burns, congenital differences, missing appendages, etc. If I could theoretically go to the store and see that character browsing the isles- It isn't body horror or gore. That's just a person. *AND the amount of people that tag, not just fictional characters, but real human beings as body horror is staggering. Its not solely a fandom issue, ableism and bigotry against anyone that looks sufficiently "different" is prevalent in real life and has devastating consequences.

(Modified) from my comment left on this post.

[heyitsmeisa-blog]

[americana-plus]

jamr0ll:

This never stops being hilarious

[thelibrarina]

Do you love the color of the–

HONK

[memewhore]

[leninthesixth]

doctors hate her! This woman is experiencing symptoms that might point to a health problem and wants doctors to do something about it

[myboobsaresentientbeeings]

"den Umständen entsprechend" is one of my favourite german phrases of all time. Ich sag dir nicht was die Umstände sind, wenn du die nicht kennst ist das dein Problem. ultimate boss of nuance. "it is what it is" but 10 times more german. Ich geh mich jetzt den Umständen ersprechend aus dem Fenster werfen

[thememedaddy]

[gaycop]

STOP SANITIZING THE INTERNET

[mossdftba]

@putting-swears-back-in-images

[putting-swears-back-in-images]