flying towards an early grave

Ikarus | ♊ | He/Him | ♠ | INTJ Phenomenally misunderstanding things with confidence since forever ♠ Tries to be punny ♠ Will soon be selling internal organs to pay for art supplies 

[scoutkln]

i actually have a pin of griffin eating a banana

[forestwater87]

This whole thing is hilarious, and then Travis just strolls in at the end to prove that he’s the Relatable Brother.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I think a lot about an episode of Finding Bigfoot where they played whale noises because they said a curious Bigfoot might come check it out and they were just out in god knows where The Woods Blvd. And they were like “these whale noises can be heard for a couple'a miles”

And I was just losing my mind thinking about the many times I’ve camped alone in the woods and how if I were just sitting around the campfire and through the usual din of coyotes and crickets I heard the slow and steady and distinct rise of whale calls

I’d go absolutely apeshit NOTHING would be scarier

[gallusrostromegalus]

New Cryptid: Forest Whales.  

Not enough fish in the sea anymore, whales and dolphins re-evolved legs and got back on land and now frolick through the woods of the PNW terrorzing campers and occasionally giving rides to Bigfoots.

[memethiefsteve]

[hewasnumberwan-deactivated20170]

Why is this the type of humor I enjoy

[aubs-of-steel-deactivated201708]

who did this

[toast-the-unknowing]

I am broken as a person and I don’t even care

[foreshvdowing]

This is my favorite

[persondum]

Daily reminder that we should all give up on being funny because comedy reached it’s peak when Griffin McElroy, in front of hundreds of people, found out that you can’t eat the raw pasta at Olive Garden.

[bzedan]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Rf5-6N-2c

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

he died in a wii remote recalibration accident

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

[galileosballs]

To the tumblr user who I just blocked, I hope you at least know (if you're not a bot, which I suspect you might be) that 'can I get your mom's linkedin' is, like, a generational innovation in negging

[stupidrehab]

that’s just my nightstand knife don’t worry

[superchat]

no one says "ive read enough hentai to know where this is going" anymore

[superchat]

because they dont read enough hentai

[superchat]

so they dont know where its going

[flowerbleedme]

nobody knows anything anymore.

[sinistra-orlok]

[we-all-got-scars-again]

IT’S MARCH

[multifand0mtrash]

[magical-awesome-kid]

Uh… It’s still May…

[clowncare]

[normalstuffidk]

It’s august

[storm-driver]

[memewhore]

[decellie03]

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

[dripped-in-my-pearls]

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

[msilverstar]

World heritage post

[afloweroutofstone]

This post is funny in retrospect because feral hogs are basically the only legitimate reason to own an assault rifle. It is the one and only real problem faced by anyone in the US that can be solved with a semi-automatic weapon that has more muzzle energy than a handgun. It’s just easy to ridicule because it sounds silly to the people who don’t live in areas with wild hogs (most of the country).

[beemovieerotica]

ok Tylenol photo drop

[blackjame]

Ghosted After a Job Interview? Report the Company

Ghosted after a job interview? Submit an anonymous report and see which companies candidates say stopped responding after interviews.

[greenbloods]

oh sick someone paved this whole road with good intentions. i wonder where it leads

[aspiringsorceress]

[cepn-archive]

it’s too early for this

[budaiproli]

oks

[dukeofedinburgh]

[budaiproli]

me and the boys, felsírtam

[sztupy]

tegnapról

[edgar-allan-possum]

Flags Mashup Bot is really out here trying to start World War III

[mccoppinscrapyard]

UPDATES

[pancoleon]

My fav part is that it is genuinely just a bot. All it does is take two countries, puts the 2nd country's colours on the 1st country's flag and mixes their names together.

Literally the only other thing behind it is that the bot weights picking the second country based on how close they are to the first, and basic geography + history means that's also where you're going to get the most aggressive relations. This isn't some guy trolling by making things specifically to piss people off, it's some guy who likes flags going "wouldn't it be fun to mix flags together, let's write a bot for that" and accidentally creating a whole meme culture of "days since flag mashup bot last tried to start WW3 = 0" and the like.

[phantomrose96]

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

[phantomrose96]

people killed: 0

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1

ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2

[phantomrose96]

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

[aka-blaa]

You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.

[phantomrose96]

Official addition to this post.