MommaMolly's Helpful Hints

A place to find helpful hints and lessons, to help you navigate everything to do with roleplaying, writing, and the English language. Find what you need, here!

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Momma Molly’s Smut-bunny Saviour #1

Here is where I will tell the kiddies to look away, and lock us in this room, so my own children never hear this conversation.  I think Percy would faint.  This lessons (if you couldn’t tell by the title) is not for kids. I have been noticing a set of rising trends in role play and fan fiction.  Trends that relate to the writing of smut.  Certain words have come creeping into common use, that really do work against the writer, in achieving their desired response from the reader.  I have decided, as an experienced mother of seven, a woman who knows her way around ‘the deed,’ to save you from yourselves.  Here are some tips, to help you on your way. (Examples are drawn from things I have actually seen, so don’t judge me too harshly for them.  Oh, and expect an obnoxious number of et ceteras.) 1) Pay attention to such things as where the chosen word is placed.   There are different rules for where a word might sit in dialog and where one might fall in the narrative (the story being told outside of speech).  If your chosen word is in the narrative, there are far stricter rules on what sounds good. Example: there’s a difference between one bloke telling his mate, “she’s got tits out to here,” and the narrative saying, ‘her tits were very big and bouncy.’   Coarse words, like ass, or any abbreviated word (nips, clit, etc.) have no place in the narrative.  Their only place is in the dialog, if anywhere. 2) Avoid being too clinical.  No one cares if you went to medical school, when you’re writing sex scenes. And no one wants to be reminded of a text book or a corpse, when they’re getting in the mood.  Well, some people do, but necrophiliacs aren’t the majority of your audience.  Avoid directly literal names that you would lift from a text book.  These words sound rough, crass, indelicate, and also very medical (A.K.A. boring). Examples: Vulva, vagina, penis, blood engorged anything (just avoid blood, altogether, unless it’s external-blood drinking is fine), phallus, uterus, anus, colon, cervix, semen, sperm, fluid, arousal, lubrication, clitoris, labia/labial, fold, wrinkle, testicles/testes, appendage, prostate (as in prostate-stabber), muscle/love muscle/life muscle, perineum, organ, limb, etc.  Even member can sound clinical. 3) Avoid most short U sounds.  That dreaded uh hangs there, like a mouth about to vomit.  Some of these tend to sound or feel aggressive, as well.  Unwelcoming and sandy.  It turns off a good 60+ percent of your readers, even if they’re too polite to say so.  I’ve developed this theory about the uh sound, and it seems to hold true.   Examples in the flesh: front bum, love tunnel/fun tunnel/cream tunnel, pleasure nub, nub/nubbin (this makes me think of trying to make a vestigial tail or extra nipple erotic), butt, nut(s), fur, fur burger, cunt, smut (funny word, not sexy word), chubby, fuck stem, spunk/spunk trumpet and love trumpet, purple helmet yogurt chucker, vulva (and any of the above that fit the bill), pussy, mushroom/Mr. Mushroom, muff, muffin, humps/lumps (I don’t care if they’re your lovely lady lumps, nothing will make your cases of scoliosis and the mumps sexy, Honey), bulge/bulging, stump, slug (whether in Shell-shedding slug of affection, or When he went down on me, it felt like a slug in a slip-n-slide, there’s no sexiness here), rump, bud (only if you’re desperate for a second clitoris word), button/fuck button (”), junk, jugs, bumper, dumper, cum dumpster, buns, truncheon, rug/rug-muncher, chunky, turgid, etc. Examples in the deed: cum/cummies, nut, bust a nut, hump, pump (less bad than hump), fuck (situationally dependent, not great for narrative), punch, spunk, munch, lunch, bump/bump uglies, nurse and suckle (you’re not a baby), dutch love and titty fuck, chug, tug, rub and tug, slurp, guzzle, gulp, sputter, splutter, fudge packing (don’t draw attention to the feces, unless that’s what your fic is all about, Friend), etc. And never say your dick up-chucked its load.  Please. 4) Not all alliterations are attractive.  I know, it sounds like it can’t be true!  Listen, though.  There is many an alliteration that just falls flat.  Or even if they don’t, they tend to be more funny than sexy. Examples: Pocket rocket (that sounds both small and fast), panty poking, hanky panky, womb groom, tonsil tickler, thrill drill, bologna pony/baloney pony, throb knob, flail nail, gasm chasm, etc. 5) Avoid certain short, flat A sounds. They often sound harsh and unsexy. Examples: Twat (also the American pronunciation of twot is unpleasant), snatch, ass, grab, fat, vag, mack, fanny (either way you mean it), jack, rack, slap (as in slap a tit/slap the sausage), clam/bearded clam (you can refer to the clitoris as the pearl, but don’t call the vagina a clam), yank, wank, crank, gap, gland, spooge cannon, tallywhacker, sack, mams, gag/gagging, stab, etc. 6) Avoid these uncomfortable words: Moist, damp, dank, musky (if it’s his scent, fine, I guess. If it’s a lady’s particular intimate region, die in some fiendfyre), musty, fishy, hairy anything (hairy sounds wild, unkempt, vulgar- there are sexier ways of wording it), weeping, seeping, leaking, dribbling, drip stink, stank, odor (scent or aroma is much better. Trust me.  Even perfume), girth/girthed/girthy, slime/slimy, soggy, spongy, slobbering, liquefied, oozing, fleshy, meaty, turgescent, etc.   7) Genitalia are not interchangeable with animals, unless you’re a bestiac. Words like pussy, beaver, squirrel, and kitty are juvenile. And that’s before you get to camel toe and moose knuckle, dog/hound-dog/crotch dog, dolphin, porpoise, crotch-daschund, snake (and any kind of snake), weasel, worm, flobberworm, the giraffe neck, lizard, trunk, etc. 8) These words may not have been placed in the above categories, but they are just not sexy.  Essentially, if you’d hear it out of a 14 year old boy’s favourite joke, don’t use it.  Those are better for jest than lust.  Here are some examples. -Male anatomy- Non-descript: Dong, ding dong, dingaling, thingy, thing (the thing that rose, the thing that grows, the thing that looks like an exclamation point, and more. Outta call that one an interrobang! But seriously, they are all terrible), pecker, the south pole, wiener, schlong, hard-on, prick (sounds so tiny and portable!), anything with masculine in it (It’s a penis. It doesn’t need to be a camo painted penis for us to get that it belongs to a bloke), wood, peen, manliness/man-ness, package (stimulus, or otherwise), Johnson/John-Thomas (not unless you buy it a monocle), etc. Visuals: man root, stem (so slender!), sausage, lightning rod, silly string shooter, tree trunk, baby’s arm, man meat, baby-maker, meat train, meat tampon, carrot (man or otherwise), boner (that’s a term for mistake for a reason), beef slinky, Mr. Floppy (as in, Mr. Floppy stood at attention), stiffy, lollipop (skinny, with a wonky, fat head?), batter blaster, You-know-what (I don’t need to hear about Voltemort’s erection), fishing pole, pickle/puking pickle, porker, pork or beef anything, leaking crown, knob, noodle/man-noodle, throat spackler, log/leaking log, monster, one-eyed anything, throbbing mass, man-cannon, etc. Basically, it will rarely, if ever, sound good to have man in front of anything.   Twig and berries, meat and two veg… Meat pipe, meat whistle or meat flute. Basically, if it starts with meat, or any kind of meat, just don’t use it.  Really. Balls, coin purse, funbags, punching bags, eggs, danglers, nuggets, spuds/love spuds, kiwis, etc. Many people feel like stalk, dick and cock sound terrible or gross, according to research, so branch out.  Try some new words. Some people feel that weaponry euphemisms are too aggressive, or that they advocate unwanted sexual violence.  Maybe try writing without words like sword and sheath, cannon, missile (and meat missile or heat seeking moisture missile), spear, blade, gun/love gun/rifle/DNA rifle/egg sniper/beef bazooka, ram rod, projectile anything, weapon/pleasure weapon, hammer of anything/warhammer, drill/fucktool, pike, spike and spire (so pointy!), helmeted warrior, mauve avenger, axe and axe wound, reamer, cherry assassin, battering ram, etc. We’re generally not trying to draw blood, here.

-Female anatomy-  Jumbos, titties/tits, boobs/boobies, knockers, funbags, peaches, hooters, tatas, pillows, hood, headlights, melons, sweater puppies, milk sacks, chest balls, etc. Triangular area (way to take the sexuality right out of it), baby-maker, fun factory, snack shack, carpet, cavity (holy, unholy and otherwise), honey-pot, lady town, minge (ginger minge?), gay man’s nemisis (because vaginas are all at war with men that don’t want them? Ridiculous), location, love wallet, hairy checkbook/wallet, mound, flesh mitten, driveway/garage/oven, box, taco, pleasure casino (adding pleasure to something doesn’t make it sexy, ffs), lady garden, letter O, love pocket/cock pocket, hole, sideways smile, downstairs mouth/down south mouth, valve, etc. And, again, I really must mention the ultra violent imagery that calls bleeding to mind, such as  gash, slash, axe wound, love wound, slice, slit/slit of ecstasy, pin cushion, arena/combat arena, missile silo, etc.

Gender-neutral anatomy: poopshoot/poop cavern, rusty bullet hole, Hershey Highway, strata chocolata, chocolate starfish, chocolate hotdog hallway, brown eye, fudge factory, fart factory, etc. Don’t draw attention to the feces, if you want to keep the reader comfortable or into the writing. Back door, rear, hiney, hind quarters, fleshy globes, balloon knot, button, boy pussy/boi pussi, wrinkled or puckered kiss, anal fortress, booty, etc. Narrow alleyway, cock cave, pool of sex/pool of ecstasy, taint, etc. Business, region, vicinity, down there, etc.  Pubes/bed of pubes.  Also, sex/the sex/his sex/her sex.  This one is so vague and so overused.  It’s probably the worst skill-based thing about the writing of Anne Rice. “He put his sex in her sex, and it was sex. Preternatural sex.”  Yeah, I said it. 

Fluids and related terms: toothpaste (even if it’s ‘the toothpaste of love’), juice, spooge (frothy or otherwise), pearl necklace and money shot, jizz, pre-cum, mayonnaise, baby batter/baby gravy (no one should want to think about babies when someone is in the act of release. Seriously), man-milk (remember about just jamming man in there?), protein shake, tadpole yogurt, etc.  And don’t use vanilla for semen, just because of the colour.  I assure you, it doesn’t taste like it.

Other words or terms: she took it like a man (devalues a gender strong enough to deal with periods AND pushing out babies. I’d like to see you try that), popping, grope, pork/porking (funny, not sexy), bone, eating out, handjob/blowjob, gobble, getting your rocks off, getting off, etc. And don’t ever use the words ‘his dick erupted like a zit, spraying its white hot load.’  Ever.  Not least of all because load isn’t a sexy word, and the rest of it is stomach turning.  It was the worst thing I read in a fic for a year. 9) This is how we do it.  Here are some good starter tips, to avoid these clichéd traps and unpleasant expressions: - Stretch your vocabulary.  Explore new words and phrases. Create something original. - Try to think of the story you’re telling, and the characters in it.  Would they think in a direction that aligns with your narrative?   - Try to think of how the words you chose will inform your reader(s) about your feelings or your character’s feelings.  Are your words devaluing the other character(s)?  Are your words treating said character(s) as one would an object?  Is that your intent, as the story teller? - Remember foreplay. - Try to consider what responses feel real or true. - Think about the actual physics involved.  What things would cause stresses on the body, and where?  How would this impact the movements that your character(s) enact?  Sex isn’t a clean and harmless activity, if it’s rough, for example. So, here goes busting some myths, for the purposes of delivering helpful information.          If you’re holding someone up against a wall, there’s going to be limited ranges of certain movements.  You will probably bang your knees.  If you’re holding someone up, you probably won’t be able to get a hand between the two of you, to fiddle with anyone’s bits, or up, to pull anyone’s hair.  You would need an extra hand for that.  Also, it’s important to note that your character will probably only have two hands.          If you’re penetrating, that singular entry will probably not be a seamless thrust to your hilt.  You’ve got to push or slide that thing in.  Thrusting tends to come later, Sport.              And speaking of ‘come later,’ simultaneous orgasms are rare, and usually involve some tantric discipline.  You’re not going to nail that, each time.  And I’d be surprised if it happened on anyone’s first time.  Gents who slip it in that first time will probably shoot off too soon, and that’s normal and okay.            Homosexual males don’t tend to use melted butter for intercourse, and no, blood does NOT make a good lubricant.  Also, gay fics have way too much anal penetration.  Yes, you heard me.  In most cases, a homosexual couple will tend towards more oral sex and foreplay, because if they were all only doing anal it would a) get boring fast, and b) cause a lot of unnecessary soreness.  You need to balance those things, in a meaningful relationship fic.  I get that not every character interaction involves care, but where it does, learn a little balance.           Speaking of balance, when writing BDSM fics, remember the importance of aftercare. Read about it. Learn about it.  It’s a big part of a BDSM relationship. I know that this is a bit rushed and disorganized, but I really hope that you find it helpful.  

[mynameisanakin]

I’d like to staple section two to some foreheads…

[hardcoremollywobbles]

I’m so happy this is being read and used! :D

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Momma Molly’s Smut-bunny Saviour #1

Here is where I will tell the kiddies to look away, and lock us in this room, so my own children never hear this conversation.  I think Percy would faint.  This lesson, if you couldn’t tell by the title, is not for kids. I have been noticing a set of rising trends in role-play and fan fiction.  Trends that relate to the writing of smut.  Certain words have come creeping into common use, that really do work against the writer, in achieving their desired response from the reader.  I have decided, as an experienced mother of seven, a woman who knows her way around ‘the deed,’ to save you from yourselves.  Here are some tips, to help you on your way. (Examples are drawn from things I have actually seen, so don’t judge me too harshly for them.  Oh, and expect an obnoxious number of et ceteras.) 1) Pay attention to such things as where the chosen word is placed.   There are different rules for where a word might sit in dialog and where one might fall in the narrative (the story being told outside of speech).  If your chosen word is in the narrative, there are far stricter rules on what sounds good. Example: there’s a difference between one bloke telling his mate, “she’s got tits out to here,” and the narrative saying, ‘her tits were very big and bouncy.’   Coarse words, like ass, or any abbreviated word (nips, clit, etc.) have no place in the narrative.  Their only place is in the dialog, if anywhere. 2) Avoid being too clinical.  No one cares if you went to medical school, when you’re writing sex scenes. And no one wants to be reminded of a text book or a corpse, when they’re getting in the mood.  Well, some people do, but necrophiliacs aren’t the majority of your audience.  Avoid directly literal names that you would lift from a text book.  These words sound rough, crass, indelicate, and also very medical (A.K.A. boring). Examples: Vulva, vagina, penis, blood engorged anything (just avoid blood, altogether, unless it’s external- blood drinking is fine), phallus, uterus, anus, colon, cervix, semen, sperm, fluid, arousal, lubrication, clitoris, labia/labial, fold, wrinkle, testicles/testes, appendage, prostate (as in prostate-stabber), muscle/love muscle/life muscle, perineum, organ, limb, etc.  Even member can sound clinical, sometimes. 3) Avoid most short U sounds.  That dreaded uh hangs there, like a mouth about to vomit.  Some of these tend to sound or feel aggressive, as well.  Unwelcoming and sandy.  It turns off a good 60+ percent of your readers, even if they’re too polite to say so.  I’ve developed this theory about the uh sound, and it seems to hold true.   Examples in the flesh: front bum, love tunnel/fun tunnel/cream tunnel, pleasure nub, nub/nubbin (this makes me think of trying to make a vestigial tail or extra nipple erotic), butt, nut(s), fur, fur burger, cunt, smut (funny word, not sexy word), chubby, fuck stem, spunk/spunk trumpet and love trumpet, purple helmet yogurt chucker, vulva (and any of the above that fit the bill), pussy, mushroom/Mr. Mushroom, muff, muffin, humps/lumps (I don’t care if they’re your lovely lady lumps, nothing will make your cases of scoliosis and the mumps sexy, Honey), bulge/bulging, stump, slug (whether in Shell-shedding slug of affection, or When he went down on me, it felt like a slug in a slip-n-slide, there’s no sexiness here), rump, bud (only if you’re desperate for a second clitoris word), button/fuck button (”), junk, jugs, bumper, dumper, cum dumpster, buns, truncheon, rug/rug-muncher, chunky, turgid, etc. Examples in the deed: cum/cummies, nut, bust a nut, hump, pump (less bad than hump), fuck (situationally dependent, not great for narrative), punch, spunk, munch, lunch, bump/bump uglies, nurse and suckle (you’re not a baby), dutch love and titty fuck, chug, tug, rub and tug, slurp, guzzle, gulp, sputter, splutter, fudge packing (don’t draw attention to the feces, unless that’s what your fic is all about, Friend), etc. And never say your dick up-chucked its load.  Please. 4) Not all alliterations are attractive.  I know, it sounds like it can’t be true!  Listen, though.  There is many an alliteration that just falls flat.  Or even if they don’t, they tend to be more funny than sexy. Examples: Pocket rocket (that sounds both small and fast), panty poking, hanky panky, womb groom, tonsil tickler, thrill drill, bologna pony/baloney pony, throb knob, flail nail, gasm chasm, etc. 5) Avoid certain short, flat A sounds. They often sound harsh and unsexy. Examples: Twat (also the American pronunciation of twot is unpleasant), snatch, ass, grab, fat, vag, mack, fanny (either way you mean it), jack, rack, slap (as in slap a tit/slap the sausage), clam/bearded clam (you can refer to the clitoris as the pearl, but don’t call the vagina a clam), yank, wank, crank, gap, gland, spooge cannon, tallywhacker, sack, mams, gag/gagging, stab, etc. 6) Avoid these uncomfortable words: Moist, damp, dank, musky (if it’s his scent, fine, I guess. If it’s a lady’s particular intimate region, die in some fiendfyre), musty, fishy, hairy anything (hairy sounds wild, unkempt, vulgar- there are sexier ways of wording it), weeping, seeping, leaking, dribbling, drip stink, stank, odor (scent or aroma is much better. Trust me.  Even perfume), girth/girthed/girthy, slime/slimy, soggy, spongy, slobbering, liquefied, oozing, fleshy, meaty, turgescent, etc.   7) Genitalia are not interchangeable with animals, unless you’re a bestiac. Words like pussy, beaver, squirrel, and kitty are juvenile. And that’s before you get to camel toe and moose knuckle, dog/hound-dog/crotch dog, dolphin, porpoise, crotch-daschund, snake (and any kind of snake), weasel, worm, flobberworm, the giraffe neck, lizard, trunk, etc. 8) These words may not have been placed in the above categories, but they are just not sexy.  Essentially, if you’d hear it out of a 14 year old boy’s favourite joke, don’t use it.  Those are better for jest than lust.  Here are some examples. -Male anatomy- Non-descript: Dong, ding dong, dingaling, thingy, thing (the thing that rose, the thing that grows, the thing that looks like an exclamation point, and more. Outta call that one an interrobang! But seriously, they are all terrible), pecker, the south pole, wiener, schlong, hard-on, prick (sounds so tiny and portable!), anything with masculine in it (It’s a penis. It doesn’t need to be a camo painted penis for us to get that it belongs to a bloke), wood, peen, manliness/man-ness, package (stimulus, or otherwise), Johnson/John-Thomas (not unless you buy it a monocle), etc. Visuals: man root, stem (so slender!), sausage, lightning rod, silly string shooter, tree trunk, baby’s arm, man meat, baby-maker, meat train, meat tampon, carrot (man or otherwise), boner (that’s a term for mistake for a reason), beef slinky, Mr. Floppy (as in, Mr. Floppy stood at attention), stiffy, lollipop (skinny, with a wonky, fat head?), batter blaster, You-know-what (I don’t need to hear about Voltemort’s erection), fishing pole, pickle/puking pickle, porker, pork or beef anything, leaking crown, knob, noodle/man-noodle, throat spackler, log/leaking log, monster, one-eyed anything, throbbing mass, man-cannon, etc. Basically, it will rarely, if ever, sound good to have man in front of anything.   Twig and berries, meat and two veg... Meat pipe, meat whistle or meat flute. Basically, if it starts with meat, or any kind of meat, just don’t use it.  Really. Balls, coin purse, funbags, punching bags, eggs, danglers, nuggets, spuds/love spuds, kiwis, etc. Many people feel like stalk, dick and cock sound terrible or gross, according to research, so branch out.  Try some new words. Some people feel that weaponry euphemisms are too aggressive, or that they advocate unwanted sexual violence.  Maybe try writing without words like sword and sheath, cannon, missile (and meat missile or heat seeking moisture missile), spear, blade, gun/love gun/rifle/DNA rifle/egg sniper/beef bazooka, ram rod, projectile anything, weapon/pleasure weapon, hammer of anything/warhammer, drill/fucktool, pike, spike and spire (so pointy!), helmeted warrior, mauve avenger, axe and axe wound, reamer, cherry assassin, battering ram, etc. We’re generally not trying to draw blood, here.

-Female anatomy-  Jumbos, titties/tits, boobs/boobies, knockers, funbags, peaches, hooters, tatas, pillows, hood, headlights, melons, sweater puppies, milk sacks, chest balls, etc. Triangular area (way to take the sexuality right out of it), baby-maker, fun factory, snack shack, carpet, cavity (holy, unholy and otherwise), honey-pot, lady town, minge (ginger minge?), gay man’s nemisis (because vaginas are all at war with men that don’t want them? Ridiculous), location, love wallet, hairy checkbook/wallet, mound, flesh mitten, driveway/garage/oven, box, taco, pleasure casino (adding pleasure to something doesn’t make it sexy, ffs), lady garden, letter O, love pocket/cock pocket, hole, sideways smile, downstairs mouth/down south mouth, valve, etc. And, again, I really must mention the ultra violent imagery that calls bleeding to mind, such as  gash, slash, axe wound, love wound, slice, slit/slit of ecstasy, pin cushion, arena/combat arena, missile silo, etc.

Gender-neutral anatomy: poopshoot/poop cavern, rusty bullet hole, Hershey Highway, strata chocolata, chocolate starfish, chocolate hotdog hallway, brown eye, fudge factory, fart factory, etc. Don’t draw attention to the feces, if you want to keep the reader comfortable or into the writing. Back door, rear, hiney, hind quarters, fleshy globes, balloon knot, button, boy pussy/boi pussi, wrinkled or puckered kiss, anal fortress, booty, etc. Narrow alleyway, cock cave, pool of sex/pool of ecstasy, taint, etc. Business, region, vicinity, down there, etc.  Pubes/bed of pubes.  Also, sex/the sex/his sex/her sex.  This one is so vague and so overused.  It’s probably the worst skill-based thing about the writing of Anne Rice. “He put his sex in her sex, and it was sex. Preternatural sex.”  Yeah, I said it. 

Fluids and related terms: toothpaste (even if it’s ‘the toothpaste of love’), juice, spooge (frothy or otherwise), pearl necklace and money shot, jizz, pre-cum, mayonnaise, baby batter/baby gravy (no one should want to think about babies when someone is in the act of release. Seriously), man-milk (remember about just jamming man in there?), protein shake, tadpole yogurt, etc.  And don’t use vanilla for semen, just because of the colour.  I assure you, it doesn’t taste like it.

Other words or terms: she took it like a man (devalues a gender strong enough to deal with periods AND pushing out babies. I’d like to see you try that), popping, grope, pork/porking (funny, not sexy), bone, eating out, handjob/blowjob, gobble, getting your rocks off, getting off, etc. And don’t ever use the words ‘his dick erupted like a zit, spraying its white hot load.’  Ever.  Not least of all because load isn’t a sexy word, and the rest of it is stomach turning.  It was the worst thing I read in a fic for a year. 9) This is how we do it.  Here are some good starter tips, to avoid these clichéd traps and unpleasant expressions: - Stretch your vocabulary.  Explore new words and phrases. Create something original. - Try to think of the story you’re telling, and the characters in it.  Would they think in a direction that aligns with your narrative?   - Try to think of how the words you chose will inform your reader(s) about your feelings or your character’s feelings.  Are your words devaluing the other character(s)?  Are your words treating said character(s) as one would an object?  Is that your intent, as the story teller? - Remember foreplay. - Try to consider what responses feel real or true. - Think about the actual physics involved.  What things would cause stresses on the body, and where?  How would this impact the movements that your character(s) enact?  Sex isn’t a clean and harmless activity, if it’s rough, for example. So, here goes busting some myths, for the purposes of delivering helpful information.          If you’re holding someone up against a wall, there’s going to be limited ranges of certain movements.  You will probably bang your knees.  If you’re holding someone up, you probably won’t be able to get a hand between the two of you, to fiddle with anyone’s bits, or up, to pull anyone’s hair.  You would need an extra hand for that.  Also, it’s important to note that your character will probably only have two hands.          If you’re penetrating, that singular entry will probably not be a seamless thrust to your hilt.  You’ve got to push or slide that thing in.  Thrusting tends to come later, Sport.              And speaking of ‘come later,’ simultaneous orgasms are rare, and usually involve some tantric discipline.  You’re not going to nail that, each time.  And I’d be surprised if it happened on anyone’s first time.  Gents who slip it in that first time will probably shoot off too soon, and that’s normal and okay.            Homosexual males don’t tend to use melted butter for intercourse, and no, blood does NOT make a good lubricant.  Also, gay fics have way too much anal penetration.  Yes, you heard me.  In most cases, a homosexual couple will tend towards more oral sex and foreplay, because if they were all only doing anal it would a) get boring fast, and b) cause a lot of unnecessary soreness.  You need to balance those things, in a meaningful relationship fic.  I get that not every character interaction involves care, but where it does, learn a little balance.           Speaking of balance, when writing BDSM fics, remember the importance of aftercare. Read about it. Learn about it.  It’s a big part of a BDSM relationship. I know that this is a bit rushed and disorganized, but I really hope that you find it helpful.  

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Asky: Where Are You From? (Differences in Phrases and Words)

Asky: Where Are You From? (Differences in Phrases and Words)

The right word in the right place is an important thing any witch or wizard worth their salt.  Here, in wizarding Devon (home of Ottery St. Catchpole, and my humble Burrow), I've noticed that many owls I receive concern this very thing:  Words and phrases that are not being properly used.  But it's important to remember that not everyone who's come to our corner of the wizarding world is from here.  Some are from New Zealand, The States, Australia, and many other places. That being, people are liable to use a few words differently. Here's where you come in, Lovies.  If you're up for it, pick a word or group of words that you know is different where you are from another place, and share with the class. 

Here's a list of words and phrases I can think of, off the top of my head, that I've seen misused or not used at all, by people who are new to our neck of the woods.  So, this is more to do with word meaning than spelling, here, but let's see what we can't do, to make things easier on each other.  I'll add to it, over time, when I have time, or when you suggest more.

AA: I've heard muggles on about this. Here, it's the Automotive Association (similar to AAA, in the States).  In the US as well as the UK, AA is also Alcoholic's Anonymous.  Be clear on which one you're trying to call, if you've crashed your motor. Ace:  I've heard one or two of mine say this.  It means excellent. Good. Awesome.  It's an adjective.  Here, anyway.  In the States, you'll see it used as a verb (to ace a test- they give you an A in muggle school, instead of an O), and as a noun, a person who's at the top of their game, or a starting pitcher.   Amber: Outside of being that amazing natural stone that traps small insects in it, it's also what the UK folk will say, when referring to an orange-yellow traffic light.  I believe the US just calls them yellow lights. Banger: Yes, in the UK, these are plump sausages, but in the UK, they are also beat up, crappy cars (the US equivalent of which would be jalopy).  In the US, I believe, as well as here, a banger is a type of firework. Bash: To have a bash.  Have a go at it.  Although, it can also mean a party/celebration, or to strike or hit something. Beaver: A bearded man, or just the beard, although this is largely archaic, save for some corners of the UK.  Elsewhere, it's an adorable animal.  Or a crude word for what a lady keeps in her knickers. Bender: Sad to say, it's a rather rude word to call a fellow who likes fellows, over here, but in the US, and a bit over here, now, it means a period of overly excessive drug or alcohol use. Bum: Not just for the jobless, anymore! This word represents the bottom. Chips: These are what people in the United States call Fries. Crisps: These are what people in the US refer to as Chips. Drink Driving: In the United Kingdom, people tend to say Drink Driving, instead of Drunk Driving. Drink Problem: In the UK, people tend to say a person has a Drink Problem, rather than a Drinking problem. Fanny: Also called the front bum, this is... um... a lady place south of the navel, to people from the UK. Knickers: what is also known as panties. Pants: what is referred to in the US as underwear. Pissed: While it is sometimes used here to mean angry, that's far more common, abroad.  You're more likely to hear it being used to mean drunk.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Going Insteady: You SAID what?

                      You SAID what?

The Many Words You Can Use Instead of Said, To Indicate Talking.

(Make sure to be contextually appropriate with the usage. Feel free to mention any that you think I've left off.)

A [42]

- abused verbally, accused, acknowledged, acquiesced, added, addressed, adduced, adjured, ad-libbed, - admitted, admonished, advertised, advised, advocated, affirmed, agreed, aided, aired, alleged, - allowed, alluded, announced, annunciated (archaic), answered, antagonized, apologized, apprised, approved, argued, - articulated, asked, assented, asserted, assisted (if chiming in with more information), assumed, assured, attacked, attested, authorized, - avered, avowed.

"Are you always such an overbearing b*tch?!" he attacked.   "Of course," she affirmed, seemingly unaffected by his words.  "B*tches get sh*t done."

B [56]

- babbled, backtalked/back-talked, bade, badgered, baited, balked, bantered, bared, bargained, barked, - bawled, beamed, beckoned, began, begged, bellowed, bellyached, belted, bemoaned, beseeched, - berated, bet, betrayed, bewailed, bickered, bid, bitched, blabbed, blabbered, blandished,   - blasted, blathered, blazed, bleated, blubbered, blurted, blustered, boasted, boomed, bossed, - bragged, breathed, broached, broadcast, broke in, brooded, brought forth, brought up, bruited, bubbled, - bugged, bullied, bullshitted, bumbled, burst out, buzzed.  

C [88]

- cackled, cajoled, called, called on, called out, called ___ out, came out with, carped, cautioned, caviled, - chaffed, challenged, chanted, charged, charmed, chatted, chattered, checked, cheered, chided, - chimed, chimed in, chirped, chittered, choked, chortled, chorused, chronicled, chuckled, circulated, -  cited, claimed, clarified, clucked, clued, coaxed, coerced, commanded, commended, commented, - committed, communicated, complained, complimented, compromised, conceded, concluded, concurred, condemned, condescended,   - condoned, conferred, confessed, confided, confirmed, confronted, congratulated, consented, considered, conspired, - construed, contended, contested, continued, contradicted, contravened, contributed, conversed, conveyed, convinced, - cooed, copped, corrected, coughed, counseled, countered, crabbed, cracked (as in a joke), credited, cried, - criticized/criticised, critiqued, croaked, crooned, cross-examined, crowed, cursed, cussed.

D [36] - dared, debated, deceived, decided, declaimed, declared, decreed, defended, defined, deliberated, - delineated, demanded, demurred, denied, denounced, descanted, described, dictated, directed, disagreed,   - disapproved, disavowed, disclosed, discommended, discussed, dished, disrupted, dissuaded, divined, divulged, - double-checked, doubted, drawled, dribbled, droned, dug.

E [33]

- eased, echoed, ejaculated, elaborated, elucidated, embellished, emphasized, encouraged, ended, endorsed, - enjoined, enlightened, entreated, entrusted, enumerated, enunciated, erupted, estimated, eulogized, exaggerated, - exasperated, exchanged, exclaimed, exhorted, explained, exploded, exposed, exposited, expostulated, expounded, - expressed, extolled, extorted.  

F [17]

- faltered, feared, fibbed, figured, filled ___ in, finished, first-named, flapped, forbade/forbid, foretold, - forewarned, fought, framed, fretted, full-named, fumed, fussed.

G [31]

- gabbed, gabbled, gaffed, gagged, gasped, gave in, gawked, gibed, giggled, gloated, - goaded, gossiped, granted, greeted, grieved, grimaced, grinned, griped, groaned, groused, -  growled, gruffed/gruffed out, grumbled, grumped, grunted, guessed, guffawed, guided, gulped, gurgled, - gushed.

"That was a what?!" he gagged, trying to spit the remnants of the cockroach cluster from his mouth.   "Don't worry, Mate.  They don't have real cockroaches in them... I'm pretty sure," Ron guessed, trying to assure his new friend.

H [15] - haggled, harped, hastened, held, held in/held back, helped, hesitated, hinted, hissed, hit upon, - hollered, howled, huffed, hummed, hypothesized.

I [33]

- illustrated, imagined, imitated, imparted, implied, implored, imputed, incited, included, indicated, - indited, inferred, informed, inquired, insinuated, insisted, instigated, instructed, interdicted, interjected, - interposed, interpreted, interrogated, interrupted, intimated, intimidated, intoned, introduced, inveighed, invited, - issued, itemized, iterated.

J [15]

- jabbed, jabbered, jangled, jawed, jeered, jested, jibbed, jibbered, jibber-jabbered, jibed, - joked, joshed, judged, jumped/jumped on, justified.

K [2]

- keened, kvetched.

L [20] - laced/laced into, lambasted, lamented, lauded, laughed, laid, laid into, laid out, leaked, lectured, - led, let/let on, let slip, leveled, lied, lipped, lisped, listed, lit/lit into, lyricized.

M [21]

- made known, maintained, marveled, mentioned, mewled, mimicked, misinformed, misled, misspoke, moaned,   - mocked, modulated, mooned, moped, motioned, mourned, mouthed, mumbled, murmured, mused, - muttered.

N [13]

- nagged, name-called, named, narrated, nattered, negotiated, niggled, nit-picked, nodded, noted, - notified, nudged (context dependent), numbered.

O [12]

- objected, observed, offered, oozed, opened, opined, opposed, orated, ordered, outlined, - overspoke/over-spoke, owned.

P [65] - painted, palavered, panted, paraphrased, parleyed, parroted, parsed, passed on, pattered, permitted, - perplexed, persisted, persuaded, pestered, petitioned, phonated, phrased, picked, piped, pissed, - pissed and moaned, pitched, pleaded, pled, pledged, plotted, pointed out, poked, pondered, popped off, - praised, prated, prattled, prayed, preached, predicted, presented, pressed, prevaricated, prickled, - primed, probed, proceeded, prodded, proclaimed, professed, promised, prompted, pronounced, - prophesied, proposed, propounded, protested, proved, provoked, publicized/publicised, puled, pulled, purred, - pursued, pushed, put, put in/put out, puzzled.

Q [8]

- quaked, quavered, queried, questioned, quibbled, quipped, quizzed, quoted.

R [65]

- raged, ragged/ragged on, ranted, rapped, rated, rattled/rattled off/rattled on, railed/railed on, ran on, raved, reaffirmed, - reasoned, reassured, recalled, recapitulated, recapped, reciprocated, recited, reckoned, recommended, recounted, - reeled/reeled off, referred, referenced, refuted, regretted, regurgitated, rehashed, rehearsed, reiterated, rejoiced, - rejoined, related,  relayed, released, remarked, remembered, reminded, reminisced, remonstrated, repeated, - repined, replied, reported, represented, reprimanded, requested, required, resolved, resounded, responded, - restated, resumed, retaliated, retold, retorted, returned, revealed, rhapsodized, ripped, - roared, ruled, ruled out, rumbled, rumored/rumoured.

S [72]

- sang, sassed, schmoozed, scoffed, scolded, scorned, screamed, screeched, sermonized, shot, - shouted, shrieked, shrilled, sibilated, sighed, simpered, skirted, slimed, slurred, smiled, - smirked, snapped, snarled, sneered, sneezed, snickered, sniffed, sniffled, sniped, snitched, - sniveled, snorted, sobbed, solicited, soliloquized, soothed, sounded, sounded off, sparred (verbally), spat, - specified, speculated, spelled out, spewed, spieled, spilled, spluttered, spoke, spouted, sputtered, - squawked, squeaked, squealed, stammered, started, stated, stipulated, stormed, stressed, stuttered, - submitted, substantiated, suggested, sulked, summed up, summoned, supported, surmised, surrendered, susurrated, - sweet-talked, swore.

T [30] - tacked on, talked, talked out one's hat/ass, tattled, taunted, teased, tempted, tested, testified, thanked,   - theorized, thought/thought aloud, threatened, threw out, thundered, tipped (off), tittered, told, touch on, touted, - traded, translated, transmitted, trembled, tricked, tried, trilled, trumpeted, twanged, twitted.

U [4]

- unloaded, updated, urged, uttered.

V [15]

- validated, vaunted, vented, ventilated, ventriloquized, ventured, verbalized, verified, vindicated, vocalized, - voiced, voluminated, volunteered, vouched/vouched for, vowed.

W [22]

- wagered, waggered, wailed, warbled, warned, waxed (ei lyrical/poetic), weighed in, went on, wept, wheezed, whimpered, - whined, whispered, whistled, whooped, wibbled, winging, wise-cracked, wished (aloud), wondered/wondered aloud, worded, - worried, wrangled.

X [0]

Y [9] - yakked, yammered, yapped, yawned, yawped, yelled, yielded, yipped, yowled.

Z [1]

- zapped.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Going Insteady: An Introduction.

Going insteady is going to be a place where I take one word that I see being grossly overused in books, roleplay, and fanfic, and create a list of alternatives, so that people can broaden their options.

I will be doing a series of these, but I'm always open to suggestions.

I really hope that people enjoy it, and find it useful.

[lifehackable]

more people need to see this

[hardcoremollywobbles]

I fully agree.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: Metagaming Disambiguation

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: Metagaming Disambiguation

This is a term that comes up a lot, but it seems that not a lot of people understand it.  I'm going to try to clear up some things for you.

Landing Blows, Spells & Attacks: Not every spell is going to hit, unless you are very fast/skilled/etc.   You had better have a good reason for this, if you do.  If you are an auror, a magic wielder, or a dueler, you have a higher chance of success in this.  However, if you spend your time picking off muggles and the infirm, or you do a lot of drinking/drugs/etc, you will probably not be as sharp.  Unless you're frequently in sport or combat, you won't always connect a punch/kick/etc.  People can dodge.  It's science.  Be aware of that, when you're designing your character.  (A good rule of thumb is to look at the Godmoding Disambiguation, for clarification on how to proceed).

Blows, Attacks, & Spells Coming At You: Unless you are very skilled (an auror, fighter, or dueler, or someone who is primed, in great physical health, well rested, and constantly testing themselves), and the opponent is not, then it is very unlikely that every blow or spell will miss you.  You really should have a good reason for this, also, if you are frequently unscathed.  If you are an auror, fighter, or a dueler, you have a higher chance of success in this, but really, you schouldn't be unreasonable.  There's no such thing as a fair fight, if you're stacking the deck with impossibility.

Age: Be aware of what your character would know or be able to do, congruent with their age.  I'll give you a few wizarding specific examples.  A student in her first year would not be able to produce a full patronus (something that's fairly rare, in and of itself), nor would she be aware of what's happening in the adult world, without receiving information (which is unlikely for someone who's eleven).  And an elderly man who uses a stick to walk will not be the most spry dueler.   Even Mad-Eye Moody, tough as he was, had some limitations.  Also, don't expect Wizard Joe, out in the world, to know what's happening with students in Hogwarts.  Don't assume muggleborns will be aware of what purists are planning, or even that the younger generation of purists know everything the elder is up to, for example.

Out Of Character Information: Just because one of your characters speaks French, it doesn't mean they all understand it, even if you do.  Just because one of your characters discovers something, it doesn't mean that they all know it.  If you are using information that you shouldn't have, it breaks the fabric of the reality that we're sharing, and destroys gameplay for others.  At some point, you should be aware of which skills and information are earned through experience, and which are not.  Using those skills you shouldn't possess ruins the experience for everyone else.  The same is true of using out of character information.  Using information that is not earned (gained through backstory, story-telling or game play) is called using out of character information, and it destroys the reality you share with your roleplay partners, as well as cheapening the personal reality that you've crafted for your character.   Nothing is worth that.   Maintaining character truth and actor credibility enriches the experience of collaborative story-telling for everyone who is involved.

The Great And Powerful Everything (MarySues and GaryStus): So, a lot of people throw around the term, MarySue, and its opposite gender equivalent, GaryStu, but not everyone knows what it means.  I'll do my best to clarify. Characters like Pants (Bella, from Twilight), who have no (real) flaws, nearly nothing to recommend them, and somehow seem to be the object of desire for everyone.  Characters with conflicting information in their backstory (someone can't be the child of movie stars (muggles), and still be a pureblood- even by adoption usually, because purebloods rarely end up in muggle hands).  Also, you're not a pureblood if you're part anything that's not human. (Veela, goblin, etc.)  Those terms cancel each other out.  Deal with it.  Assumption is not fact.   A person who is good at everything, ever, in the history of ever, is not going to happen.  Even Hermione couldn't wrap her head around everything.  She was booksmart, but lacked  the sort of inventiveness that let a person appreciate divination, or potions experimentation.  If it's not realistic (within the given mythos), then it shouldn't happen.  One of the most irritating forms of metagame characters are the "I'm An Everything!" MarySues/GaryStus.   They defy logic, they tend to be absent of good storytelling, tend to exist for the basest purposes. Examples of this (that I have actually seen) include: - a part veela, part mermaid, part elf, with famous movie star (therefore muggle) parents, but is really a pureblood, and somehow secretly also a princess.  First criticism, pick one.  How many creatures does she have in her?  Do those even have the ability to breed with each other?  Second, no one is both a pureblood AND part-anything.  The part-anything negates the purity of the blood.  Third, how would a pureblood EVER end up in the hands of a muggle family?  A famous muggle family?  Pures try to keep hold of their own, unless you have a very good reason or story it, it doesn't hold water. - a vampire, demon, HP witch, Secret Circle Witch, wrestler, porn star, rock star, singer, with an ancient magical bloodline (of non HP or TSC origin), who is also an anime character (sailor scout, I think), with mutant powers, like the X-men.  She was desired by everyone, and even though she was a demon and a vampire and a clusterbuggeryofeverythingimaginable, she was really nice and sweet. Where can I even start?  I'm fine with cross-overs, but one should seek to keep it reasonable.  - a man with mutant powers, zombie powers, is a vampire, is an angel, is a werewolf, is a prophet, is a con-man to get by, can sing perfectly, despite two decades of chain-smoking, works for the mob as a hitman, has multiple personalities, a twin, each of the personalities has the exact same personality traits. What is the point of the different clone personalities, if they're all alike?  Probably justifying roleplay relationships with multiple partners, and not having to be accountable. As a mother, I understand that you cannot be everything to everyone, but you can be enough to the ones that matter, by being something manageable.  Those are not manageable. And when other actors see that, it's a red-flag to not write with the person, because the assumption is that you will not get literate or logical roleplay out of them. Think about your character in creation.  Have they earned their pain or disposition?  If not, maybe they oughtn't have it? Have they earned their skills?  If not, then how did they come by it?  What is the flaw that balances their merit?  These are important things to think out, when creating your characters.  If you're not perfect, how can you expect them to be?

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: Godmoding Disambiguation

   Roleplay Rules of Engagement: Godmoding Disambiguation

If you want to avoid the cardinal sin known as Godmoding (also called Godmodding) in written roleplay, here's what you need to know. This is so important, in maintaining healthy roleplay relationships.

Landing Blows: You can decide if the assault lands, but not the result of impact. Ludicrous as it may be, sometimes a blow hard enough to knock a foe down won't.  Sometimes a kick to the boys won't result in soprano, and sometimes a slap won't make a person's head turn 90 degrees.  The result is up to the one on the receiving end.  Writing in that a person has a reaction is considered Godmoding, because you're taking away that actor's choice to react as their character would.

Landing Spells (or any manner of supernatural attack): Not every spell or attack is going to hit.  Truly, more should than will, but whether they do is dependent upon the recipient, and not the caster, because they have a definite outcome, and you have to allow your writing partner a degree of free will.

Age: Age makes no difference, in regards to ownership of the characters.  It doesn't matter if the character is one day old or one thousand years old, if the character belongs to someone else, and you do not have express consent to write as that character, DO NOT write as that character.  It is hurtful and frustrating, when it happens.

Laws Of Ownership: If you play the spouse of a character who is not being played by anyone, and is not dead, then for plotting purposes, you can own the actions of that character.  If no one plays that first spouse, ownership falls to the children, or else parents of said character, depending on which is more situationally appropriate, because they dictate the story, as it plays it out, for those characters.  If you wish to command the story of one of these not played characters (non-player characters, or NPCs), then you should first ask the spouse/child/parent's actor if you can apply to play their spouse/parent/child first, or if you can fill in plot for their spouse/parent/child for the duration of a specific story arc. To give you some example of what this means, I'll demonstrate some scenarios. 1) Bob and Sally are married. They are acquainted with Jim. No one plays Bob. Someone plays Sally.  Sally's actor has full say over whatever Bob does/says.  Always.   If Jim's actor wishes to control any aspect of Bob, he should first ask Sally's actor's permission. 2) Bob and Sally are married. They are acquainted with Jim. They have a child by the name of Billy.   No one plays Bob. Someone plays Sally.   Sally's actor has say over what Bob does, not Billy's or Jim's actors. 3) Bob and Sally are married. They are acquainted with Jim. They have a child by the name of Billy.   No one plays Bob or plays Sally.   Billy's actor has say over what Bob or Sally do, not Jim's actor. 4) Bob and Sally are kids. They are acquainted with Jim. They have a parent by the name of Chris.   No one plays Bob or Sally.   Chris does have an actor.  Chris's actor has say over what Bob or Sally do, not Jim's actor. 5) Bob and Sally are married. They are acquainted with Jim. They have a parent by the name of Chris. They have a child named Billy. No one plays Bob or Sally.   Chris and Billy both have their own actors.  Billy's actor has say over what Bob or Sally do, because they belong to the same domestic unit, and neither Chris's actor nor Jim's actor has that connection or right. As always, if Jim's actor wants to control one of the NPCs in any scenario, he must seek the permission of the actor of the most appropriate relative.  If you do not, you are godmoding, even if the character that you are controlling is an NPC, because that NPC's actions and choices directly affect the outcome of the other person's actor.

Acceptable Godmoding: Godmoding is ONLY acceptable with permission from the owner of the character, or the 'owner' of the NPC.  In cases where the character's actor has granted permission to another player, to move certain plots along, it can be done, but it should only be done in that specific context.

I hope that this helps to clarify things for you. :)  Be kind to one another, out there. (At least, out of character.)

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: A Basic Guide To Roleplayers' Etiquette.

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: A Basic Guide To Roleplayers' Etiquette.

To begin, etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.  The etiquette which dictates how we treat each other is of the utmost importance, and I see that the value is going by the wayside more and more as time goes on. Having said that, I think that defining said rules and expectations in regards to roleplayer etiquette may help to avoid problems in the future.      

1) Be legible, and make sense.

   This is extremely important.  You need to have good spelling and grammar for your rp to make sense to the other person.  You cannot expect people to just know what you mean.  Most people aren't mind readers. And even if you have mastered the art of legilimens, that gift still requires proximity.  This means that someone across the internet from you isn't going to psychic-sort your code into cohesive ideas.       a) Be sure you're using the right word.  Language is a delicate thing, and our language has a multitude of homophones.  If you're not sure that you've spelled a word properly, or used the correct word for the context, please remember this:  you are on the internet, and the internet has a multitude of free dictionaries and thesauruses.  Yes, it is thesauruses, although thesauri is also accepted.      b)  See this thing? ---->  '  Yeah. It's an apostrophe.  Please, for all of us, familiarize yourself with it.     It's a real thing and it isn't used enough. Again, occasional typos are forgivable.  We've all been there.  But when people keep getting stuff like, 

"Thanks mrs Weasley. youre the coolest. Im so glad youre letting me stay the night. I didnt know if Id be allowed or not."

 Many just can't budget the time to reply.  And no one with any sense would, either.  Clearly, the sender didn't care enough to send this little baby.   ' c) Make sure that you are using proper punctuation. A misplaced comma (or complete lack of one) can completely change the meaning of a sentence.  Be aware of the statements being made, so that your partner(s) will not have to guess at what you mean to say. If you don't know how to do these things, keep reading these blogs, and they'll explain.  And you can always message me, asking for clarification.      

2) Godmoding and Metagaming are really rude things to do.

   Godmoding is a term with which many of you are familiar, but in case anyone missed coming across it, I'll explain. Godmoding is acting as god/narrator for another character.  Don't tell me what my character did.  If you want to play my character (providing that it's a canon), make your own on another site.  Assuming it's an original character, no one will know that character as well as the creator.  Don't put words in that player's mouth. This extends to situations where two characters are meeting for the first time.  Don't tell me that I bumped into you or that I shook my head at you.  You don't know that I would do that. Metagaming is a semi-broad term, but in regards to online roleplay, specifically, it refers to the practice of having a character who is either ridiculously powerful/impervious (you can jinx me, but my spells never seem to hit your quickly dodging butt, or else have little to no effect), or using out of character information that your character would not have to influence decisions that he or she makes.  It's really bad form, not to mention, completely neglecting to be true to your character.      

3) Don't take things personally.

  A character may not mesh with another character, but that character's actions towards your character (including boyfriend stealing, jinxing, etc) are not a reflection of how that character's actor feels about you as an actor. Say I have a dog and you have a dog.  Your dog is friendly, and wants to butt sniff.  My dog is offended, and snaps at your dog.  This does not mean that I do not like you.  Only that my dog now dislikes your dog.  This may or may not change over time, but you should not take it personally.  Leave the OOC out of IC, and vice versa.  I see too much needless drama to neglect mentioning this.      

4)  Don't reply with more rehashings than content.

   I see so many roleplay replies on here were half or better of the post is a direct copy+paste of the previous person's post.  They already know what they did/said. They don't need it repeated back to them. In fact, the ONLY time that is appropriate to do such a direct text quote is if there is a scene with several people, and you're replying to something a few posts back.  You can do a narrative retelling of the previous to explain your response, but otherwise, it just looks like you're trying to reach the minimum number of words to post.  It's bad form.  Also, when rehashing,  copy+paste is not the way to go.   Explain to me what happened.   Don't  copy+paste.  It's disrespectful to the original writer of the material that you can't be bothered to acknowledge them with original content.      

5) Read the previous posts.

   If you want to contribute to a scene that is currently underway, read the previous posts.  Most of us communicate, out of character, so asking where someone might be at that given time (if they haven't posted) is a good way to avoid confusion, irritation, or other discomforts. Usually, you can find out what you need to know, in any case, by simply reading the preceding posts.  If you go one place, to see someone, and they aren't there, or you say something which has no bearing on context, because you didn't read what you're replying to, then it looks foolish, and reads as confusing for your scene partner(s).    If you already read it, but waited several days to reply, a good re-read will help you avoid any sort of mistakes.      

6) Give someone a reply to which they can respond.

     Don't give them nothing, and expect them to carry you through the scene.  If they don't have enough content to work with, there isn't anywhere that they can take the story.  If you leave a thought only partially finished, they have nothing that they can reasonably reply to, and that isn't fair.  Give back what you get if you want to keep receiving quality. For example, let's say that Ron and Hermione are talking.  Married people do that... sometimes.  Ron says,"I need help.  I can't figure this out.  My question is ___________."   This is not an unexpected development.   Ron's a clever boy, but 'Mione's quick as a whip.  So, Hermione then replies, "I can see that you need help. You can't figure it out."  Perhaps she even offers to help, but does not say how, or even answer the initial question. Hermione is then not being a very good scene partner, expecting Ron to pick up the slack.  There's nothing he can really do with that but get angry.  And it's a waste of time to try and reply to it.     

7) On the above note, here's the RoI.

 The thing to remember about roleplay is that it is essentially improvisational acting.  You are playing characters, staying true to those characters, and bouncing off of each other without a script.   The Rules of Improv (the 2 of the basic 5 laws that pertain to online roleplay) can go a long way toward improving your skill as a roleplay partner.

Basic Improv Rules

  (This section below is brought to you by the powers of copy+paste, with additional commentary in italics.) 1) Don't Deny. Denial is the number one reason most scenes go bad. Any time you refuse an Offer made by your partner your scene will almost instantly come to a grinding halt. Example: Player A) "Hi, my name is Jim. Welcome to my store." Player B) "This isn't a store, it's an airplane. And you're not Jim, you're an antelope."

  It is important to note that you can say no in character. You can say that your character wouldn't do that.  But invalidating the scene is quite the faux pas.  It is better to have enough respect for the other person to not discredit the reality that you're both creating by injecting another.

2) Tell a story. Storytelling is probably the easiest rule to remember, but the hardest one to do. The real magic of improv is when we see the players take totally random suggestions (like a plumber and a cab driver selling shoes in a leper colony ) and somehow "make it work."  If all these unrelated elements are going to come together then it's going to happen in the course of an interesting tale. So that's just what the players are going to try and do, tell us all a story.

With us, we have the good fortune to already have characters and sets in place.  All we have to do is take that foundation and build from it something magical.  Don't be lazy and throw down a welcome mat outside of a cardboard box.  Build something incredible. When you get comfortable, stretch yourself.  See what kinds of characters you can play.  What kinds of literary and emotional leaps you can take.  You may surprise yourself.

Have fun!!!

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Roleplay Rules of Engagement: Roleplayer Etiquette, and the matter of Hopping.

Some of you may have heard of the terms hopping, hoppers, character hopping or character hoppers.   If you are not aware of what a hopper is, it is a person who moves from character to character, deleting their recent character(s) and making new ones, regardless of who they are playing with, and what stories have been fledged.   I mention this as a matter of etiquette for many reasons, but the chief one is quite obvious. I want to explain the issue with the practice, as a cautionary of sorts.       Perhaps I'm a roleplay purist, but to me, one of the greatest things about playing a character is to truly know that character, and see what makes them unique.  What makes them tick.  What makes them beat, or smile.    What makes them... them.   Watching them grow, learn, evolve and develop, it's amazing.   Writing with someone else, and letting them inside of your art, to contribute to the overall development of your character's nature and demeanour, it's something truly special.   Hopping robs you of that wonderful, intimate, beautiful experience.  If you don't spend time with your character, getting to know them for who and what they are, then you run the risk, also, of having all of your characters seem flat, and end up as copies of the others.  And what's the fun in recyclable clones with new faces, and no prospect of true individuality?    It's hollow and artless, and that's not what we want... is it? Also, to create a character, and then abandon the post on another character without notice only leaves that character's actor feeling bitter towards you, and not wanting to go on another creative journey with you, as an actor.  It leaves a bad taste in their mouth. So, I've mentioned some of the problems with the practice of hopping.  What do I recommend, to avoid this? A few things. 1) Don't make characters for only one purpose (such as a relationship). Make sure that the character has more than one purpose, so that you're more invested in the art. 1a- If you care about the character, outside of some relationship, then if the other person backs out, you still have the character to develop.   You still have that journey ahead of you.  And you never know.  They may find something better for them.  Some adventure or relationship better suited to them. 2) Don't take on more characters than you can handle.  This is really easy to do, and hard to handle, once you've done it. 3) Keep and develop a specific character, rather than replacing it when they hit a posting dryspell. If you don't keep them around, how can you ever hope to know them?   For example, I had one character who's been with me for 12 years, but it took a year to truly know her perfectly, and she's been growing from her life experiences from day one. 4) When taking on canons or characters created by another person (ie, when someone asks you to play a sister to their original character), pay attention to the given canon. This will help a lot to reduce tension.   For instance, if you are playing someone's nerdy little sister, and you have her acting like an over-confident player, no one is going to want to trust you with their other babies, and they won't want to play with you.  If you want to be a part of developing a character or a story which has been handed to you, then be true to that character.  If you want to go a completely new direction with it, then you need to play a completely different character, and not take on concepts that don't excite you.   5) Find something to connect with, in your character. Learn their motivations.  No person is black and white.  Characters should be as well rounded.   They should have a soul of sorts.  Something they believe in, or the reason that they believe in nothing.   Find their centre, and let it guide you forward.  That way, you're invested in the magic of it.  It will improve your writing, and make people more excited to play with you, and get to know your character, enriching their own involvements in this, our magical world. That concludes my little two knuts. I hope that you found it informative and helpful.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Grammar and Punctuation: Quotation Station

   Rule 1.    Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks, even inside single quotes. Examples: The muggle sign changed from "Walk," to "Don't Walk," to "Walk" again within 30 seconds. Ron said, "Hurry up." Ron said, "Hermione said, 'Hurry up.'"  Rule 2.    The placement of question marks with quotes follows logic. If a question is in quotation marks, the question mark should be placed inside the quotation marks. Examples:   She asked, "Will you still be my friend?" Do you agree with the saying, "All's fair in love and quidditch"? Here the question is outside the quote. NOTE:  Only one ending punctuation mark is used with quotation marks. Also, the stronger punctuation mark wins. Therefore, no period after quidditch is used.   Rule 3.    When you have a question outside quoted material AND inside quoted material, use only one question mark and place it inside the quotation mark. Example: Did she say, "Is that boomslang?" Rule 4.    Use single quotation marks for quotes within quotes. Note that the period goes inside all quote marks. Example: Harry said, "Hermione said, 'Elves should have rights, too.'"  Rule 5.    Use quotation marks to set off a direct quotation only. Examples: "When will you be here?" he asked. He asked when you will be there. Rule 6.    Do not use quotation marks with quoted material that is more than three lines in length.  If you are confused by what I mean, here it is.  You can have dialog that exceeds 3 lines, of course.  But if you are quoting another source, it would be bad form to use quotation marks to cover a paragraph of material that is not dialog (talking).   Rule 7.    When you are quoting something that has a spelling or grammar mistake or presents material in a confusing way, insert the term sic in italics and enclose it in brackets. Sic means, "This is the way the original material was presented." Example: She wrote, "I would rather die then [sic] be seen wearing the same robes as my sister." Should be than, not then.  (see the helpful hint on the then/than split, if you did not know that.) Rule 8.   This covers the matter of what to do when you get outside of the quotation marks. Keep in mind that if the words that follow are not proper nouns, and they are still in the same sentence and thought, then you would not want to capitalize them. Examples: "I love licorice wands!" he exclaimed when the trolley came around to his cabin. "You did what to who for how many Bertie Bott's beans?" she asked loudly, trying to play a joke on her unsuspecting friend. "You're still not ready," he observed aloud with minor irritation. Rule 8 1/2. In the last example, we see a comma.  If the spoken sentence is a sentence that would end in a period, and you intend to modify it with an explanation of the speaker (he/she said/observed aloud/etc), then the proper thing to do is to use a comma.  Periods have no place within quotation marks, unless it is the true end of the sentence. "You think you're a riot." His cold tone made clear that he did not think the same of her. Hope it helps!  :) 

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Grammar and Punctuation: It's alright to be possessive! Just do it properly

So, it's alright to be possessive, as long as you make sure to do it right. (The above statement OFFICIALLY does not apply to sparkle-poofs.) Now, this is a tricky one for many, so listen very closely to Molly.

~When Applied To The Name~

-Harry's robes fit nicely. This is correct. -Ron's, however, hang a bit short. This is correct, also. -Sirius' motorbike can fly? While openly accepted, this actually is not correct. But why? I'll explain. If you use the possessive form of a name or a word that ends in S, it's proper to add on the apostrophe s. Sirius's, rather than Sirius'. If you leave it with just an apostrophe s, that implies that there are more Siriuses around than the one. A collective or group of Sirius Blacks. The possessive apostrophe at the end of a name or word, without an additional s, indicates a group of things being pluralized, rather than one person or thing that owns something else.

--

~When Applied To Multiple Names~

(This one confuses a lot of people.)

-Hermione and Ron's date was a disaster! This in incorrect, according to many schools of thought. -Hermione's and Ron's date was a disaster! Though very sad, this is the proper way to write it, in many opinions. --Here, the thing to remember is that they're two people, and the date belonged to both of them. Otherwise, you're telling me that Hermione-and-Ron is one person, and not two. However, it is thought that because they share one date, the date is collectively theirs. This means that Hermione and Ron's date would be just fine. In general, the rule that only the last noun needs the possessive is correct. As in "Harry, Ron, and Hermione's relief." All three have the same relief. -Harry and Ron's brooms. This implies that both Harry and Ron share ownership of more than one broom. But what if you’re talking about one broom belonging to Harry, and one to Ron? Then you would type Harry's and Ron's brooms. One more example: -Arthur and Molly's cauldrons bubbled on the table. This sentence implies both Arthur and Molly jointly own the cauldrons. -Arthur’s and Molly's cauldrons bubbled on the table. This sentence implies that a cauldron owned by Arthur and a cauldron owned by Molly bubbled on the table. --But Molly's and Arthur's children implies that there are two groups of children (individually owned), while Molly and Arthur's children are just one group, jointly owned. Which, in the case of my family, would be correct. ---NOW, there are some varying schools of thought on these matters, and I will present them to you, so that you can make up your own mind on the matter. (Brain-nom on this food-for-thought.) 1) To Harry and Ron's relief is perfectly acceptable, as it indicates collective relief, treating the boys as one entity.  Harry and Ron's relief is in fact the correct form, while Harry's and Ron's relief is not. No matter how many people are listed as the 'owners' of something, only the last entity in the series gets turned into a possessive. 2) Katie, Alicia and Angelina's playing was spectacular. It should NOT be: Katie's, Alicia's and Angelina's playing was spectacular.  Firstly, the presence of three girls would insist that the corresponding verb be were, not was. Secondly, as stated before, it was a collective of skill, and so they all share it in the sentence. 3) One thought is that only words with Greek roots could drop the possessive s after the apostrophe, but while that may well have been a guiding principle at one time, it's long been blended into some obscure standard, or else just forgotten. 4) Some suggest that it depends on how famous the person was, for example: Severus's wand is correct and Lucius's pimp cane is correct, BUT - Socrates' logic is also correct.  (Looks like Socrates is a bigger pimp that Lucius.) 5) It is customary to omit the final 's' in: - names in which the last syllable is pronounced 'iz', eg: Moses' Bridges' - classical names, eg: Mars' Xerxes' But French names should always have the final 's', even when the first 's' isn't pronounced, eg: Dumas's Rabelais's

  ~When Applied To Pronouns~ Oooooooh.

-Pronomial possessives, such as hers, its, theirs, yours and ours don't use the apostrophe to show ownership. -Indefinite pronouns, however, do: one's hat, somebody else's cauldron. In the case of the it's/its situation, it's applies only to the shortened form of it is/it has, and not to the possessive. (This particular rule/set pertaining to possessives has been borrowed and edited, as I thought that it was helpful, and I have changed a few things to avoid angering anyone.) ____________________________________________________________ For giggles, I thought I'd post this link for you.  A friend sent it to me on the page where I originally had this posted, as a twisted response.  I'm sort of in love with it. http://cltampa.com/dailyloaf/archives/2010/01/13/grammar-made-sexy-its-v-its

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Spelling, Word Choice and More: Pronoun Confusion, & the basic 4 groups.

Pronoun Confusion, & the basic 4 groups.

1)Your yours. -Your: It belongs to you. Your hand, your broom, etc.In this category we find the yours--es. ;) -->Yours: possessive; Which cup is yours? Friend of yours. To tell the difference; Mine or yours. -->Your's: Does not exist. -You're: a shortened form of You are. It means you are. -->Youre: Does not exist. Example: You're taking your broom?

 2) Their there. -There: Indicative of a place. Are you there? Over there, etc. The there's--es. ;) -There's: There is or there has. Only. -->Theres: Does not exist. There's no such word. ->Theirs-es ;p -Their: Belonging to them. Their broom, their hands, etc. -->Theirs: Belonging to them. Possessive of they. I won't use a broom of theirs. -->Their's: Does not exist. -They're: They are. ->They're never ends with an s, in any form. Example: They're taking their brooms over there. OR There's no way they're taking those old brooms of theirs. 3) It's Its! -Its:  This is a possessive. Belonging to it. Its true appearance is unknown. -It's:  A contraction of it is or it has. Examples: It's called a boggart, and it's particularly nasty. To my knowledge, it's never been made to see its own reflection. I know that it can get confusing, because an apostrophe is usually used to show possession, but in these pronouns, that is not the case. It's important to remember this distinction. 4) A Who's who of whos. -Who: What or which person or persons: Who left? --As a word of questioning. Who shot the dark mark into the sky? --As a word to answer. It was who you thought. --As part of a name. You-Know-Who, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. See also, The-Boy-Who-Lived. If you're more of a muggly persuasion, there's The Who, or even The Guess Who. Examples include: The inquisitor who made us do lines.  Our owl, who is clumsy.  AND Scared politicians who denied the incontrovertible evidence. Or, again, if you are of the muggly persuasion, Who framed Roger Rabbit? ----- Whom would not be appropriate in these cases. ------ -Whose: A possessive of who or which. --As possessive of who. Whose broom did I take?  (NOT 'who's broom') --As substituting which, on occasion.   Examples: A person whose hair changes color.   The man, whose name was Sirius Black, has been accused of the murder of more than a dozen muggles. Or, if you grew up around muggle picture boxes, Whose line is it, anyway? -Who's: contraction of who is or who has. Only.  You'll find that it's similar to the its/it's issue of before. --Who's there? (NOT 'whose there?') -Whom: Objective or dative of who. --Objective: Whom did you owl? Of whom are you speaking?  With whom did you fly? --Dative: You gave whom the broom? -Whos: Absolutely not a word. Ever. In the cases of who and whoever, these are subjective pronouns, as where whom and whomever  are objective. Who is responsible for this mess? (Who=subject) The kids, six of whom are boys, were practicing spells in the kitchen.  (whom=object)  Who is correct? It may depend upon whom you ask! 

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Grammar and Punctuation: Run on... and On and On. (Sentence workshop)

A run-on sentence is a sentence that contains two improperly joined sentences. The two kinds of run-on sentences are comma splices and fused sentences. --A comma splice occurs when two sentences are joined with only a comma. Incorrect:  The Professor told the students to complete the section on werewolves, he also told them to compose a five-page essay. --A fused sentence occurs when two sentences are joined without any punctuation. Incorrect:  First I went to the quidditch pitch then I went to the common room.

~Four Ways to Correct Run-On a Sentence~

1)Use a period. The Professor told the students to complete the section on werewolves. He also told them to compose a five-page essay. First I went to the quiddich pitch. Then I went to the common room. 2)Use a Semicolon. -The Professor told the students to complete the section on werewolves; he also told them to compose a five-page essay. -First I went to the quidditch pitch; then I went to the common room. (When using semicolons, the two independent clauses must share a related or common idea. You cannot write the following sentence. Ginny loves hot chocolate; I am watching a quidditch match. These two clauses are completely unrelated. When using a Semicolon with one of the following words; therefore, thus, however, consequently, furthermore, also, nevertheless, and other similar words, a comma to follow the word will be necessary.) 3) Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet). -The Professor told the students to complete the section on werewolves, but he also told them to compose a five-page essay. -First I went to the quidditch pitch, and then I went to the common room. 4) Add a subordinating conjunction or dependent word. -Although the Professor told the students to complete the section on werewolves, he also told them to compose a five-page essay. -After I went to the quidditch pitch, I went to the common room. Using periods (and other forms of punctuation), and knowing when to end a sentence are very important. If you don't end a sentence appropriately, the intended meaning can be changed, or it can be misunderstood. Sometimes the meaning is simply incomprehensible. When a person learns to write English sentences and compositions, one common problem they find is writing sentences that are too long. When a sentence ends too quickly, it is called a sentence fragment. When a sentence has too many ideas and runs on too long, it is called a run-on sentence. If you have this problem, don't worry. It is quite easy to fix. The first thing you need to do is identify when a sentence is a run-on. A run-on (or run-on sentence) is a sentence that really has TWO sentences (or complete ideas) INCORRECTLY combined into one. It is alright to combine two sentences into one, but you must follow some rules. But, what is a sentence? Good question. A sentence consists of 3 things: A Subject (the person, place, or thing performing or doing the action. The noun.), A Verb (the action) and The Complete Idea (the reader isn't left waiting for another word to explain what you mean). Things to look for. Read these sentences and their breakdowns. It will really help. I caught the snitch! Subject=I Verb=caught Is it a complete idea? Yes. The snitch is a direct object. Not all sentences require a direct object. For example: We flew. Subject=we Verb=flew Complete Idea? Yes. There is no direct object here; however, it is still a complete idea and a good sentence. I take. Subject=I Verb=take Complete Idea? No. What do you take? I'm still left wondering. This sentence requires a direct object. (This sentence is called a sentence fragment.) Malfoy takes the train to school His mom rides her broom. Subject=Malfoy AND His mom Verb=takes AND rides Is it a complete idea? It is TWO complete ideas. This last example is a run-on sentence: Two complete sentences (ideas) incorrectly combined. This sentence lacks signal words which tell the reader when to stop or pause. I hope that this was helpful.  Feel free to comment on any of these with questions.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Spelling, Word Choice and More: The THEN THAN split.

Better then than never. Then is a time. Than is a comparison. ThEn is a time. ThAn is a comparison. Then, he picked up a book. "Then, come with us!" Then again, maybe not. These are the uses of then.  Times. Better late than never. I'd rather it were me than him. My broom is faster than yours. These are the uses of than. Comparing late to never. Me to him. My broom to yours. Comparison. Something that helped me was to say them aloud in a sentence that I knew was right, like the above, and then really pronounce the E or A in the word very clearly. It sticks better that way.

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Grammar and Punctuation: Comma Chameleon! ;)

                               Main Uses of the Comma:

There's a lot of technical mumbo jumbo in here, so just go slow, pay close attention, and ask any questions you have.

________1] Use a comma to separate the elements in a series (three or more things), including the last two. 

He hit the first bludger, gave an overconfident cheer, and got hit by the second one.

Some say the comma before the "and" is unnecessary, which is fine if you're in control of things. However, there are situations in which, if you don't use this comma (especially when the list is complex or lengthy), these last two items in the list will try to glom together (like macaroni and cheese). Using a comma between all the items in a series, including the last two, avoids this problem.   

________2]  Use a comma and a little conjunction (and, but, for, nor, yet, or, so) to connect two independent clauses, as in,"He hit the bludger well, but he fell backward through the left hoop."

If the coordinating conjunction is adequate separation, some will leave out the comma in a sentence with short, balanced independent clauses (such as we see in the example just given). If there is ever any doubt, however, use the comma, as it is always correct in this situation.

One of the most frequent errors in comma usage is the placement of a comma after a coordinating conjunction. The comma may not always be said to come before the conjunction and never after, but it would be a rare event, indeed, that we need to follow a coordinating conjunction with a comma. When speaking, we do sometimes pause after the little conjunction, but there is seldom a good reason to put a comma there.

_______3] Use a comma to set off introductory elements, as in, "Getting the quaffle through his own side's hoops, he suddenly realized how stupid he looked."

It's alright to omit the comma after a brief introductory element if the omission does not result in confusion or hesitancy. If there is ever any doubt, use the comma, as it's always correct. 

Wrong: For most the year is already finished. Right: For most, the year is already finished.

Wrong: Outside the gnomes are nipping. Right: Outside, the gnomes are nipping.

    ________4] Use a comma to set off parenthetical elements, as in, "The headmistress, who has dedicated many years to Hogwarts, is still not trusted by Professor Dannum Jenks." A "parenthetical element" is a part of a sentence that can be removed without changing the essential meaning of that sentence. The parenthetical element is sometimes called "added information."   This is the most difficult rule in punctuation because it is sometimes unclear what is "added" or "parenthetical," and what is essential to the meaning of a sentence.

Here, though, we see that the headmistress is not trusted by Professor Jenks, and the meaning is not changed when we remove that bit about her time at Hogwarts.

  ________5] Appositives are almost always treated as parenthetical elements.

Wood's ambition, to become a keeper in professional quidditch, has come to fruition.

 Hannah, Neville's wife of thirty years, suddenly decided to open her own shoppe.

Sometimes the appositive and the word it identifies are so closely related that the comma can be omitted, as in, "Neville's wife Hannah suddenly decided to open her own shoppe." We could argue that the name "Hannah" is not essential to the meaning of the sentence (assuming he has only one wife), and that would suggest that we can put commas both before and after the name (and that would, indeed, be correct). But "his wife" and "Hannah" are so close that we can regard the entire phrase as one unit and leave out the commas. With the phrase turned around, however, we have a more definite parenthetical element and the commas are necessary: "Hannah, Neville's wife, suddenly decided to open her own shoppe." Consider, also, the difference between, "Hogwarts Headmistress Minerva McGonagall decided to omit the veritas screening," (in which we need the name "Minerva McGonagall," or the sentence doesn't make spicific sense, as there have been other headmistresses) and "Minerva McGonagall, the Hogwarts headmistress, decided to omit the veritas screening," (in which the sentence makes sense without her title, the appositive, and we treat the appositive as a parenthetical element, with a pair of commas). 

When a parenthetical element — an interjection, adverbial modifier, or even an adverbial clause — follows a coordinating conjunction used to connect two independent clauses, we do not put a comma in front of the parenthetical element.

The HollyHead Harpies were leading the league at the end of May, but of course, they always do well in the spring. [no comma after "but"]

Puddlemere United didn't do so well in the early going, but frankly, everyone expects them to win the season.  [no comma after "but"]

The Chudley Cannons spent much of the season at the bottom of the league, and even though they picked up several promising rookies, they expect to be there again next year. [no comma after "and"]

When both a city's name and that city's state or country's name are mentioned together, the state or country's name is treated as a parenthetical element.

We visited Tinworth, Cornwall, last summer.

Much of Wizarding London, England, is sometimes called "The Alley System."

When the state/country becomes a possessive form, this rule is no longer followed:

Much of Wizarding London, England's Alley System is well known.

Also, when the state or country's name becomes part of a compound structure, the second comma is dropped:

Zonko's, a London, England-based company, is being purchased by the Weasley twins.

An absolute phrase is always treated as a parenthetical element, as is an interjection. An addressed person's name is also always parenthetical. Be sure, however, that the name is that of someone actually being spoken to. A separate section on Vocatives, the various forms that a parenthetical element related to an addressed person's name can take, is also available.

Their years of training now forgotten, the aurors broke ranks.

 Yes, it is always a matter, of course, of preparation and attitude.

I'm telling you, Ginny, I couldn't be more surprised. (I told Ginny I couldn't be more surprised. [no commas])

  ________6] Use a comma to separate coordinate adjectives. You could think of this as "That tall, distinguished, good looking wizard" rule (as opposed to "the little old witch"). If you can put an and or a but between the adjectives, a comma will probably belong there. For instance, you could say, "He is a tall and distinguished wizard," or, "I live in a very old and run-down house." So you would write, "He is a tall, distinguished wizard," and "I live in a very old, run-down house."

  _________7] Use a comma to set off quoted elements. Because we don't use quoted material all the time, this is probably the most difficult rule to remember in comma usage. It's a good idea to find a page from an article that uses several quotations, xerox that page, and keep it in front of you as a model when you're writing. Generally, use a comma to separate quoted material from the rest of the sentence that explains or introduces the quotation:

 Summing up his argument, Albus Dumbledore writes, “So-called pure-blood families maintain their alleged purity by disowning, banishing, or lying about Muggles or Muggle-borns on their family trees.”

If an attribution of a quoted element comes in the middle of the quotation, two commas will be required. But be careful not to create a comma splice in so doing.

"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many things."

"I should like to buy an owl, please," she said timidly. "Do you sell them?"

Be careful not to use commas to set off quoted elements introduced by the word that or quoted elements that are embedded in a larger structure:

Albus Dumbledore writes that "so-called pure-blood families . . ."

 We often say "Sorry," when we don't really mean it.

And, instead of a comma, use a colon to set off explanatory or introductory language from a quoted element that is either very formal or long (especially if it's longer than one sentence):

Albus Dumbledore had this to say about the hateful ramblings the ill-tempered Lucius Malfoy: "So-called pure-blood families . . ."

  _________8] Use commas to set off phrases that express contrast.

 Some say the cup will go to Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw.

It was her money, not her charm or personality, that first attracted him.

The pygmy puffs were cute, but very messy.

(Some writers will leave out the comma that sets off a contrasting phrase beginning with but.)

  _________9] Never use only one comma between a subject and its verb. 

Believing completely and positively in oneself is essential for success. 

[Although readers might pause after the word "oneself," there is no reason to put a comma there.]

See this, too, if you feel confused.  It lists many examples, and is a bit less wordy.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Grammar and Punctuation: Show me your insides!!! (expressing thoughts)

SHOW ME YOUR INSIDES!

  In this post, we will be talking about differentiating your character's thoughts from the rest of the narrative, to make it clear to the reader what it is that you are thinking.  Showing the reader what is inside of your head, and making a clear distinction between the actions (including the action of thinking) and your character's internal monologue. I still believe that the best, surefire way to communicate one's thoughts is by using italics.  Italics does for thoughts what quotation marks do for speech.  Commas are also keen.   That said, I see that many people either use no differentiation in their writing, or else they don't exclude the differentiating devices (such as italics, commas and the like) to only the thoughts.  This leads to a lot of confusion for the reader (or responder, as is the case with role play). Take the following examples into account.      Harry couldn't believe that Ginny was wearing something so seductive and revealing to such a formal occasion. Or, I can't believe Ginny's wearing that, Harry thought, observing that it was far too revealing for such a formal occasion, but appreciating the view, nonetheless. In both cases, it relates that Harry has seen Ginny, and that he had an opinion formed about what she was wearing.  The first tells that he thought it in narration, and the second shows the thoughts occurring in his head.  His internal monologue.