Lovingly Ally @heartforeyes - Tumblr Blog

hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.

jimmysownworld

post outing but pre hollander in ottawa a reporter asks roz if he’s ever thrown a game for hollander and roz rolls his eyes and says “no. the first and last time i even joked about throwing a game not even against him he did not let me touch him for 2 weeks. i have not dared to since, it took a 2 weeks long win streak to convince him i was not serious. i do not even joke about things with such dire consequences.” and everyone laughs it off but people online find the 2 weeks long win streak and the whole time roz is playing like hes possessed flattening team after team including montreal and everyone collectively is like ‘ah. them winning against each other is a sex thing.’

stabthroughme

I need an AU where Shane and Ilya end up training together one summer, before Irina's dead, and Ilya comes over with a Russian group of players.

It would be normal for Ilya to stick with the Russian players, to keep speaking Russian and only train against the other players.

Except Ilya loves playing against Shane, and Shane's obviously been cast out to the fringes by the English and French speaking players. So Ilya pulls Shane to the Russian group.

Right to the centre of it, bc Ilya's got the same charming pull to him even as a child.

And when the other Russian players say that Shane's too weird to keep hanging out with them Ilya says "fine" and leaves with Shane.

And Yuna who's heard so often from her son's teachers that he's always been on the fringes, who's heard from Shane that he "doesn't really have any friends at school", who knows his hockey teammates still think he's weird but at least he's good and funny, gets to witness her son get chosen by someone who was pushed to choose. Even if Ilya's struggling to communicate with her and with Shane, he doesn't go back to his Russian friends.

He doesn't go the "easy" route.

I just think Ilya choosing Shane when all the other kids around them can sense the different-ness of Shane's autistic ways would be so good.

Especially when paired with them being penpals but the letters stop for a couple months and Yuna has to prepare herself to talk to Shane about how Ilya's left him too.

Shane who finds a hockey training thing in Russia for the summer, applies and is ofc accepted, and when he shows up with Yuna in tow ofc Ilya is there and he looks so so so sad.

And then Shane calls his name and Ilya looks at him with disbelief. And Shane asks if he's okay and Ilya, who's never actually lied to Shane before, tells him that Irina's dead.

Yuna watching her son hold his best friend together and telling Ilya that she's gonna look out for him now.

shilyas

Brokeback Mountain (2005) | Heated Rivalry (2025-)

one-time-i-dreamt

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

one-time-i-dreamt

penrosesun

weaselle

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

random-chaos-thoughts

Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"

But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.

In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.

They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.

At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.

That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)

yeomanstuff

This. All of this.

6qubed

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

swimmingblue

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

ladyartemisia28

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

aethersea

Thing wins the case

amultitudeofyellowrodents

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

hardlyhinged

I’ve seen a few mob aus floating around and it almost always has Ilya being a mob boss but I would like to posit the infinite more funny scenario of Ilya running the front selling kinda shitty sandwiches and Shane being the only customer

Like it’s an out of the way hole in the wall smear on the map but that’s why Shane picks it out in the first place, it’s quiet, next to the water, and open early as he’s on his way to the rink also the guy at the counter is HOT

The first time Shane comes in Ilya doesn’t even look up and just points him toward the back and says something in Russian, which really confuses Shane so he clears his throat and asks if this is where he’s supposed to order. Ilya kinda freezes then looks up and freezes again for an entirely different reason hot and has to scramble into some version of a service worker who’s desperately hoping this really fucking Hot man didn’t understand Ilya telling him to take the drugs to the back

Shane looks over the faded sparse menu hanging above and asks what’s good and Ilya blue screens for a second because he knows they don’t have half the ingredients listed up there, never mind the fact Ilya’s never actually made a sandwich here for anyone. So he goes with the simplest sandwich they have and puts all this charisma into hyping the hell out of This Sandwich because he literally can’t make anything else please just get the stupid sandwich please

And surprisingly Shane actually agrees, smiling at Ilya like he already trusts his judgment wholeheartedly, and when he asks if the have any ginger ale Ilya feels like even more of a piece of shit when he has to say they’re “fresh out” liar liar liar. The sandwich sucks, Ilya knows this as he’s putting fucking kraft mayo on cakey white bread and he’d kinda rather die than give the cute guy something so atrocious but he’s really out of options, silently cursing the abysmally low effort put into this front.

But Shane smiles anyways as Ilya hands it over and thanks him like he actually appreciates what Ilya did. Ilya nods and starts to walk away when he’s stopped by Shane telling him he still needs to pay him, holding his card out and Ilya kinda wants to scream because they don’t even have a god damn card reader so he switches back to maximum charm and tells Shane pretty boys get sandwiches for free which luckily stunlocks Shane long enough for Ilya to book it out of there and when he comes back to the front later the “store” is empty.

Ilya is, at the very least, proud of himself for getting out of that situation but also feels guilty as hell and hopes Shane doesn’t end up with food poisoning. He also decides they really do need to actually invest in the front and gets some better ingredients because that was wildly embarrassing and could definitely blow their cover if the wrong people show up. He also stocks ginger ale, just, because.

And surprisingly his efforts pay off because a few days later Shane is back. Not for a sandwich, because, let’s be real that one went in the trash after a single bite, but cause he feels wrong not having paid. Ilya, eager to redeem himself, tells him he can only charge him if he buys another sandwich, company policy of course. So in an effort to get the gross “stealing thief” feelings off him Shane relents and Ilya puts extra care into making something actually good. Shane is surprised it actually look appetizing and Ilya off handedly mentioned last time being a bad day, supply chain issues, yadda yadda, and he’s rewarded with that same genuine smile from before that makes his heart jump. As he’s ringing up the order he slides Shane a ginger ale and winks when he tells Shane he’ll see him next time.

Later when Shane checks he’ll see he was only charged one cent for the food (actually good this time), and so starts the endless cycle of Shane trying to pay Ilya who’s slowly improving the front to impress Shane and coming up with increasingly elaborate ways to undercharge Shane so he keeps coming back (all while hiding copious amounts of shady dealings, arms trafficking, and murder from the obliviously endearing hockey player who thinks he’s just found the perfect little sandwich shop with a stunning view)

fuchsianreactor

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

rozy-babey81

It's killing me that Ilya Rozanov is Mr. I'm gonna kiss your inner thigh after I suck you off, Mr. I'm going to look deep into your eyes while I take your vcard and make absolutely sure that it feels good for you, Mr. I'm going to plant kisses up your spine after I cum inside, Mr. I'm going to caress your ass and hold you against me and kiss any part of you that I can reach before I pull out.

But one Shane Hollander forehead kiss had him spiraling like a cyclone. Like bruh. You were already a goner. You've BEEN a goner, Mr. They told me nothing, was my idea. Girl bye 🙄🤚

lexicanons

Post-TLG Hollanov are woken at an ungodly hour by Shane’s phone. Shane answers and Yuna tells him to put her on speaker phone. Shane does and she tells them not to freak out but someone put a hidden camera in their hotel room when they were last in St. Louis, and the video is now on the internet. Yuna is working to get it taken down, but it’s spread like wildfire. Shane and Ilya are like “oh shit” and start to panic because the last time they played in St Louis a really bad snow storm rolled in, so they were stuck there for an extra day and spent the whole day fucking. An unauthorized Hollanov sex tape hits the internet. Half of the fandom is like “don’t watch it, respect their privacy” and other half is giving play-by-play commentary and writing essays about the video. #ProRiderShane, #ServiceTopIlya, and #TwoBigDicks are trending. Shane wants the earth to swallow him whole while Ilya tweets out “Damn, we look so good together” and Shane takes Ilya’s phone and flushes it down the toilet.

moltensmusings

People going "the korra krew is weaker than the gaang because they struggle and fail against korra's enemies" while not even bothering to actually think about the context of said enemies and realize they'd be problems even for the gaang.

The only villain we could maybe argue would've been easier to handle is Unalaq, because the gaang has 2 water benders and korra only has herself. But we can't pretend toph would've managed better and not being taken off guard like Mako and Bolin were when unalaq was riding on water to mask his footsteps and hide his location in the north. We can't pretend like Sokka or Zuko would've fully stopped unalaq for similar reasons. Katara is the only character in the gaang that maybe would've shifted the unalaq tide.

Then we get to zaheer and his group, remember how the gaang struggled even against a combustion bender? Now add her in with a lava bender (a bending type we do not see toph fight against and in fact one she can't use), and airbender who can fly and is unafraid to use deadly tactics in his element, and a water bender who doesn't require arms to use her element. We can go what if all day but I don't think it would be some easy cake walk for the gaang to take them out and if you try to tell me it would be, I fully believe you're too biased to be fair.

The last antagonist we can note down is Kuvira, who intentionally builds a mech that metal benders can't just dismantle, a mech that takes a huge group of people to bring down because of how huge and deadly it is. The gaang would've struggled just as much as the korra krew did.

And even beyond that: we know the gaang would've been hard pressed to defeat Amon from the flashback we got of Yakone. Yes katara can bloodbend but we are shown that Amon can push back against other people bloodbending him and is the most advanced version of a bloodbender we've seen to date.

I'm begging people to stop acting like korras team sucks because "the gaang did better" while not even bothering to think about what different problems they were facing.

virginshane

the fuckboy you all talking about….. this is his sexual fantasies

virginshane

@significant-lover so real

lavenderprose

There's never been a fandom ghost like Cliff Marleau. He's a vampire. He's an ally. He's a latent bisexual. He a little confused but he got the spirit. He's imprinted on Ilya like a duckling. He has three sisters, all of them lesbians. He is 42. He is 28. He's French Canadian. He's from Florida. He is being psychosexually tormented by his best friend's thot husband. He is Hollanov's platonic third. He has a beautiful, terrifying wife. He's made out with Ilya but they were in Paris it's chill. Of course he's slept with men he's a fucking hockey player. He is Ilya's ex-husband.

heartforeyes

hes a beefcake

mapetitefeedeslilas

Shane who, before him and Ilya get outed, keeps hearing people, fellow players, his own friends, talk shit about the man he loves and it pains him, so one night he googles "Ilya Rozanov nice person" and ends up in a subreddit where people share stories of celebrities that are surprisingly nice people and the page dedicated if Ilya is full of wholesome stories

hospital personnel from where he used or still visited the paediatric department with the team, parents of patients, even former patients themselves seeing how great, attentive, funny and light-hearted he was

puck bunnies or women he had one night stands with during the years playing for Boston saying he was a phenomenal lover and a consent king, or women that approached him whilst inebriated and whom he gently turned down, bought a bottle of water for and paid for their cabs to get back home safely

neighbours saying he was very polite, people he was nice or helpful to through the years, a mom with a screaming child whose first class seat on a flight to Moscow he gave up so she could have more room for her herself and the baby, a classmate he defended in school, a former teacher saying how smart and talented he was in spite of not having much time to study because he was training a lot, Russian-speakers saying his interviews in his mother tongue are a thing of beauty and incredibly well-spoken, waiters and shop assistants stressing how polite his interactions were

Shane devours these stories with tears in his eyes and a heart about to explode, the tab perpetually open in his phone, incognito mode.

And when someone talks shit about Ilya or when, after their outing, hate starts to be thrown at him even more viciously from the media, he goes back to the tab, just to see that there actually many that agree with him: Ilya, the love of his life, is the most wonderful person

mothcub

e-rosieposie

i feel like after hollanov goes public they absolutely get asked who bottoms, and while shane has a perfectly professional “that is a deeply personal question and i would prefer my relationship not be boiled down to cheap stereotypes” statement prepared (if he even dignifies them with a response), ilya just says shit like “is me, i am bottom, love to get dicked down by hollander, what you don’t think big tough russian can take it like a man?” and nobody quite knows if he’s kidding or not

shanyshko

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

slobonmynov

Places Shane initiates sexting

At night, in the dark, under his covers, behind a locked bedroom door and a double dead-bolted front door, after checking FindMy three times to triple check that his parents are still in a different city and not somehow on their way to his apartment. His dildo is also there.

Places Ilya initiates sexting

The locker room

On a run

His home shower

The club

Brunch with Svetlana

The Porsche dealership

Lifting weights with cliff

While taking a shit

In the back of an uber

On the other side of the room

The MLH awards