The thing that has me scratching my head in confusion about the recent wave of "trans men are invading women's spaces" rhetoric from TRFs is that I thought we were in agreement that the very concept of "men's spaces" and "women's spaces" was a load of crap. I thought we were in agreement that bathrooms should be marked "bathroom with a urinal" and "bathroom without a urinal" instead of "men's" and "women's." I thought we agreed that healthcare should never be gender segregated regardless. I thought we were in agreement that everything called a "woman's space" was just blatantly being exaggerated as a tool of exclusion.
Further, why are you using these arguments that were invented by TERFS when you know these will inevitably be weaponized against you too? Do you really think you can rehabilitate concepts made to hurt YOU and turn them into a weapon against just the people you hate? Like even if you can't be a decent enough human being to care about transmascs, you could at least have an ounce of self-preservation and realize this is helping TERFs to hurt YOU, not just the trans men you want dead!
Why are so many of you on this site more willing to align yourselves with cis male MRAs than with transmasc feminists, while calling yourselves "transfeminists"?
You eat up all their talking points. You say that pedophiles aren't real and age of consent laws are wrong. You fearmonger about babytrapping in response to people with uteruses who are afraid of dying due to abortion bans, and then call those things equivalent. You equate circumcision with FGM. (I am against both, but the former is NOT equivalent to the latter). You insult trans men with slurs referring to their genitals and call them bitches and cunts. You fearmonger about "men" who are "invading women's spaces," except instead of trans women, you mean trans men.
You aren't acting like trans feminists, or any kind of feminists at all. You're acting like MRAs. Why are you doing this? You aren't transfeminists. You aren't pro-anything, even pro-trans woman. You're solely anti-trans man.
Posting this for my soul cat Kenzie (she passed a few years ago but I still think of her every single day) and for everyone else who has lost someone they love. ❤️
People don't like the "For all the trans people of Tumblr!" Subtitle on the FTMblr community and acting like that's proof that all transmascs are evil self absorbed people who don't think transfems should exist. No girl, it's there because it's open to people who aren't transmasc. At worst it's an accidental oversight
Trans men are asking to be included in discussions about abortion access, where they, transmascs, and enbies (particularly if they're racialised) are THE most vulnerable group.
Trans men from the global south are talking about their specific vulnerabilities and the horrific violence they face.
Trans men are asking the rest of the community to please care more about the fact that their hormones are a controlled drug and their identities are already on a controlled drug registry that can be very easily cross-referenced with agab to Pick Out The Trannies.
Trans men are talking about how TMOC have been targeted for sexual & physical harrassment because of their transmasculinitiy in detention centres.
Trans men are asking the queer community to stop claiming they have made 'no historical contributions' when 1) they have, and 2) they have been violently erased, institutionalised, and forced into marriage throughout history, and even those lucky few who went stealth were often discovered through forcible outing.
Trans men are begging the queer community to stop spreading transphobic lies that predatorjacket them as dangerous, violent rapists.
Trans men are mentioning that they are often ENTIRELY banned from playing on men's OR women's high-level sport teams, because those teams are allowed to 'make their own decisions' on whether to permit them while using a banned steroid, which usually, you guessed it, means they can't compete.
If you wanna call me a Trans Men's Rights Activist because I care about the rights of trans men, along with every other member of the trans community... go right ahead, I guess.
The amount of lying that gets slung at trans men on Tumblr is just kinna ridiculous lol, it's like watching Fox News. The idea that the random dentransitioner Nazi "popularized" the term transandrophobia is so stupid even separate from the illiterate fucks who started spreading that she coined it.
In what way did she popularize it? How many notes did her posts get? Who followed her? Can you find anyone who reblogs from her, or did reblog from her? Prove that she was an influential figure in any way whatsoever.
My mother is pan + poly and has been a vocal advocate for the queer community since the 90's. She also has two trans masculine kids (me included). She's done more for this community than transandrophobia ever has and she hates your guts.
Exclusion is the enemy of progress and we didn't get to where we are by leaving anybody behind. You can't claim to support queer people and then start bullying trans men with name calling and harassment campaigns - you're just making yourself look stupid and childish.
Supporting the community means supporting all of us, and that includes ALL trans people.
- Sincerely, a trans guy
This is a letter to transandrophobes, and your mother sounds lovely.
For those who haven't seen Breaking Bad, this is 100% canon, as someone who has seen this show several times.
The only thing that isn't accurate is the frame with all the money. Walt doesn't pay for it in cash but rather with a cheque for a bank account in Belize as it's way too much work and way too suspicious to pay $50k in $100 bills.
Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.
Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.
And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.
I saw a post earlier, I will not be appending my response to that post to the post itself, but I did want to touch upon it.
The post was about how trans men and transmasculine people afab don't have any media tropes that are, we'll say, problematic for them, the way that the 'funny man in a dress' trope is trans-misogynistic, I wanted to discuss that and lay that claim to rest.
Below I will be discussing some tropes in media that affect trans masculine people afab. Some may be worse than others, some accidental, some maybe on purpose, but I've compiled them because I think it's important to understand that just how the harmful tropes aimed at masculine people afab do exist, they just differ in their execution.
DISCLAIMER: If I have worded anything poorly in this post please tolerate it, English is my fourth language and it can be overwhelming to attempt linguistic perfection or the performance of it for native English Speaker.
EDIT: tumblr really messed my layout and formatting up, sorry for that but I'm not fixing it unless I really need to.
1. “Tomboy Gets a Makeover” = Suddenly She’s Worth Something (AKA: Now She’s Fuckable)
This one’s everywhere. You’ve got a character who’s rough around the edges, usually wears hoodies, maybe doesn’t shave, maybe doesn’t even care what people think. And the story punishes her for that. Until someone (usually a fairy godmother or mean girl turned ally) shoves her into a dress, puts some gloss on her lips, straightens her hair...
and then she’s finally seen as beautiful, desirable, and valid.
The core message? Your masculinity is temporary, and your value doesn’t actually exist until you conform to traditional femininity. You weren’t lovable, datable, or even visible until you softened up and got pretty.
This trope tells young people AFAB:
You're not enough unless you perform femininity
Your gender nonconformity is a flaw to fix
If you're not seen as sexy in the "right" way, you're invisible
And this sticks. Especially for transmascs, who grew up seeing their natural instincts or styles treated like a before picture.
Examples:
The Princess Diaries – Mia goes from “invisible frizzy nerd” to prom-queen level once her hair is flat and her legs are waxed.
A Cinderella Story – Sam’s baggy clothes are treated like a shield for her insecurity, until she shows up in a dress and suddenly earns male attention.
The Breakfast Club – Allison is artsy and weird and quietly masc... until she’s quite literally pink-washed and given a makeover so she can be datable.
She's All That – Laney is cool and self-possessed in her own way, but the movie waits until she’s in a red dress and contacts to take her seriously.
Meteor Garden – Shan Cai’s toughness is tolerable, but she’s still only framed as truly “lovable” after being softened through male attention.
2. “She Pretended to Be a Boy” = She’s a Lying Snake Whore
When characters AFAB dress or live as boys, it’s almost always framed as deception. Not survival. Not autonomy. Not self-expression. Just trickery. There’s a dramatic “reveal” scene where everyone suddenly feels betrayed, like the character has been scheming the whole time instead of just…
living. Sound familiar?
This isn’t just about fiction. It directly echoes how transmasc people are treated in reality, as liars, as fake men, as threats to those around them just by existing. The idea that someone AFAB could be masculine, or just a guy, is treated like a trap set for unsuspecting cis people.
The underlying message:
You can’t be trusted if you present as masculine
Your gender is a mask, a trick, a crime
If people liked you before, they were duped
it’s the same logic used to justify violence and exclusion towards Transmasculine people AFAB in reality.
Examples:
She’s the Man – Viola pretends to be her brother to play soccer, but it’s all “uh-oh she has boobs” humor. Her gender presentation is the punchline.
The King’s Affection – She lives as the crown prince and does a damn good job, but the tension constantly hinges on whether she’s tricking people by being there at all. Masculinity is okay only if it’s secret and painful.
Coffee Prince – Go Eun-chan presents as male to get a job, and instead of critiquing the system that forces her to do it, the narrative focuses on her guilt and “the reveal.” Masculinity is tolerated, but never fully respected.
Victor/Victoria – Gender is treated as a clever disguise. The moment someone finds out “the truth,” it’s all shock, betrayal, and drama. Queerness framed as a con.
3. “It’s Just a Phase” = You’ll Be a Real Girl™️ Eventually
You can be a tomboy for now. Run around, get messy, be loud. It’s even kind of cute! As a little kid who needs to grow up. Then suddenly, your masculinity isn’t just childish! it’s a problem. Something to “grow out of.” Something to fix!
This trope trains audiences to see AFAB masculinity as:
Immature
A quirk of childhood
A stepping stone to real femininity
And what does “real girlhood” mean in this context? Dresses. Lip gloss. Boys. The implication is that your value kicks in when you start performing the kind of femininity that makes you palatable and desirable. You were allowed to be wild for a minute, but only if you clean up nice later.
It reinforces the same tired message:
Girlhood = destination, not a choice.
Masculinity is just the wrong stop on the way.
If you are Transmasculine AFAB, you are a child who should grow up, immature, being treated as much younger than they are is a huge issue with transmasculine people AFAB.
I would like to add that this is also a misogynistic trope, but misogyny intersects with transandrophobia in ways that are valid to talk about.
Examples:
The Parent Trap – Annie and Hallie are opposites, but Hallie (tomboy-coded) only really “settles down” and softens once she’s back with her mom. Her rougher edge is charming but temporary.
Now and Then – Roberta is the tomboy of the group, and her Big Moment of Growth™ comes when she puts on a dress. Not solving childhood trauma. Not emotional healing. The dress.
Boys Over Flowers – Jan-di is scrappy, resilient, athletic! and then she falls for the male lead and gradually loses every bit of that fire. By the end, she’s quiet, deferential, and soft. like that’s her natural arc.
Hi My Sweetheart– Rainie Yang’s character starts out masc-presenting and bold. She’s mocked, corrected, and eventually “fixed” into a soft, pink, cutesy girl. Her makeover isn’t for her. it’s the narrative giving her permission to be “dateable.”
5. “One of the Boys” But Never Really One of the Boys
She’s tough. She’s cool. She fights. She hangs with the guys. She might even burp. But make no mistake! she’s never actually allowed to be one. This trope gives characters AFAB just enough masculinity to seem "interesting," then punishes them if they go too far with it.
Again, this is also a misogynistic trope, but the intersectionality here is important even in the ones that don't seem obvious, some people will poke fun at me putting Natasha here for example, but if you do that you're misunderstanding my intent and I do not care for it.
I am not saying ANY of these characters are coded transmasculine, I am discussing how masculinity is treated in regards to characters AFAB.
The message is clear:
You can borrow masculinity, but don’t get comfortable in it.
These characters:
Get constant reminders that they're different
Are sexualized, softened, or sidelined the moment they get too close to “boyish”
Exist to complement the boys, not compete with them
Examples:
Avengers – Natasha Romanoff is deadly, competent, cool under pressure, but also constantly shoved into the “team mom” or “sexy redhead with feelings” role. Her backstory centers around forced sterilization, and her arc in Age of Ultron literally says she’s a “monster” for not being able to have kids. Tell me again how she’s treated like “one of the guys.”
How to Train Your Dragon – Astrid starts out as the alpha fighter, but as soon as Hiccup grows up, she becomes a background girlfriend with no arc of her own. Her sharp edge gets smoothed into supportiveness.
My Hero Academia – Nearly every tough AFAB character gets undercut. Mirko is badass but exists on the fringes. Jirou gets development, but only as support. Bakugo’s mom is comic relief. Meanwhile, male characters are allowed complex, messy, powerful arcs without ever needing to "soften" for the audience.
“AFAB Character Learns to Embrace Womanhood” = Moral Victory!
You start with a tough, scrappy, masculine-coded person AFAB, maybe she fights, maybe she’s emotionally shut down, maybe she just doesn’t want to be like other girls. It doesn't matter, this is how it ends:
She softens. She submits.
She “grows” by becoming a wife, a mom, a love interest, a Real Girl™️.
This isn’t healing. It’s containment.
The message is: your rebellion was cute, but it’s time to settle down and accept the role assigned to you.
“Growth” = compliance.
“Strength” = giving it up.
“Maturity” = pink, dresses, and a baby carriage.
Examples:
The Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen is trauma-coded, masc-leaning, and uncomfortable with romance or traditional femininity. So what’s her ending? A baby epilogue where she’s in a dress, quietly settled into nuclear family life. Is she happy about it? No, but there's no denying that this is her ending.
Mulan II– In the original, she challenges gender roles and becomes a literal war hero. In the sequel? The plot revolves around her needing to prove she can still be soft, feminine, and wife-material. Her masculinity is not allowed to just exist.
Jojo Rabbit – Rosie (the mother) is framed as the ideal woman: warm, loving, feminine. Meanwhile, Elsa (a girl in hiding) starts out guarded and hard-edged, but only becomes “redeemed” once she softens and embraces traditional femininity.
A Silent Voice / Koe no Katachi – The narrative constantly punishes her for not being “nice enough,” and her arc only begins to shift once she becomes more demure and apologetic. She cannot be both a good person and brash or hotheaded, submit or be branded evil.
Inuyasha – Sango is introduced as a demon-slaying warrior. But her story ends in the most vanilla way possible: marriage, motherhood, and sidelining. She loses her edge completely. I hate the end of Inuyasha so much it is borderline a meme in my circles.
Fruits Basket - Uotani is tall, tomboyish, and used to be in a girl gang. She has strength, history, and depth. And then her “big growth moment”? Realizing she wants to be softer and more ladylike, because femininity is treated as the finish line within the story.
“Masculine Presentation” = Joke Costume or Moral Failure
When characters AFAB wear suits, cut their hair short, or pass as masc in any way, media rarely lets it land without a laugh track, or a moral consequence.
Masculine presentation is treated as:
A silly costume
A failed experiment
A sign of monstrosity
Or something to be shamed out of.
The story makes sure you feel embarrassed for them. It invites the audience to laugh, cringe, or judge, because “girl in boy clothes” is still a punchline in mainstream media. Just like 'Boy in girl clothes' is.
And yes, this hurts trans women, but it also absolutely targets butch, GNC, and transmasc folks. Masculinity is marked as wrong on AFAB bodies, funny if temporary, disgusting if permanent.
Examples:
Scooby-Doo – Velma’s masc coding (short hair, flat clothes, practical shoes) constantly becomes the joke. If she dresses even more masc? She’s “mistaken” for a man and ridiculed. Her queerness and presentation are treated like a quirk at best, a problem at worst.
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody – London Tipton wears a single masc outfit and the laugh track explodes. The outfit itself isn’t weird, but the show acts like the sight of her in anything non-feminine is a cosmic-level joke.
Friends – Rachel and Monica wear tuxedos in one episode, and the joke is entirely that it looks “wrong.” Chandler mocks them, the camera lingers on how “awkward” they look.
iCarly – Sam dresses masc semi-regularly, and is constantly mocked for acting “like a guy.”
In interviews, actress Jennette McCurdy has said this ongoing joke contributed directly to her eating disorder relapse.
This is not harmless.
Matilda - Miss Trunchbull is heavily masc-coded: big build, short hair, no makeup, harsh voice. She’s a literal villain, and her appearance is meant to be scary. Her masculinity is associated directly with her monstrosity.
Aikatsu! – Girls in suits are used as performance shock value. “Omg, a girl in a tuxedo??” is the whole joke.
they shape how people see us, and how we see ourselves.
When characters AFAB exploring masculinity are only ever jokes, villains, phases, or tragedies, it sends a message:
You don’t get to be this. You’re only allowed to visit.
And when you're done, you better come back “correct.”
But we’re not punchlines.
We’re not broken girls.
Some of us are boys.
Some of us are neither.
Some of us are just butch as hell and happy about it.
We deserve stories where we aren’t corrected. Where masculinity on AFAB people isn’t a phase, a disguise, or a joke. But our lives, and the truth of them.
i have noticed that a lot of people acknowledge that characters AMAB who present femininely, even if not explicitly transfem, can display tropes and stereotypes that negatively affect transfem people
but they don’t acknowledge that masculine characters AFAB can do the same for transmascs? i feel like these “tomboy” characters are typically only discussed through the lens of misogyny and how their depictions affect cis women. it’s not typically acknowledged that this is the closet thing a lot of transmascs get to representation in media, and that stereotypes about “masculine women” will harm us as long as society sees us as “masculine women” (which it does)
AND MPREG!!!! it’s so often treated as a joke or unserious but some trans men do want to go through pregnancy… and it can be something meaningful and rewarding for them…
i made a whole post on this! treating mpreg like a joke is damaging to trans men and mascs FIRST
also note: the people creating real not-joke mpreg content are not the ones doing this, even if the characters are explicitly not trans. i'm talking abt ppl who turn it into a joke
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