Here's_Unique

I don't know what's happening

[heres-unique]

Goodbye Unus and Annus. Thank you for changing my life. With hyperactive nerve endings, ive always struggled with fear of being in pain, and I have always struggled with fear of the unknown. Thank you for showing me that I dont have to live in fear, and that I should be bold, because I don't know how much time Ill have left. Thank you for changing my life. Unus Annus may be ending, but it'll live on in my heart. Momento Morri, I love you guys.

[heres-unique]

Im making Unus Annus inspired shotglasses. Unfortunately, Unus is the only one done so far. Ill miss yall!

[alwaysbewoke]

STOLEN!

[icecream-noodle]

This is from a kids history comedy.

[black-cat-aoife]

I feel the need to share this important piece of information I learned in the chocolate museum

[beka-tiddalik]

Thank you for sharing this important information.

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[funnysowhatever2-deactivated201]

What story is that?

[ffermented-salmonella-deactivat]

Matthew 18:9

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

[corporationsarepeople]

“Did I fucking stutter?”

[needthisbook]

Ten Major Artists:

Wong Wong & Lulu

Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait

Pepper’s self-portrait

Tiger the spontaneous reductionist

Misty goes off the wall

Minnie, the abstract expressionist

Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey at work

Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.

Princess, the elemental fragmentist

Charlie, the peripheral realist

[g-jackson]

this literally makes me so happy

[whitmanic]

My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around

[whitmanic]

Okay I’m so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like. Really funny. I’m so sorry

[bigasspants]

wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific

[pottamux]

My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.

[chambylin]

wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.

[pottamux]

I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.

[whitmanic]

I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?

[shadovvlurking]

When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored

[whitmanic]

Excuse me?

[kallypsowrites]

This post is like getting punched repeatidly, but from a different angle each time

[safety-officer-barto-deactivate]

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

[officialqueer]

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

[jewishdragon]

LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU

[bisexualgambit]

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

[safety-officer-barto-deactivate]

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

[incendiarysongbird]

okay, but eighth graders

[doorstoplord]

….. could be a nursery.

[awesomealfry]

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

[starry-nightengale]

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

[tgwdlmreprised]

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

[0rangeleader-deactivated2022100]

And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself.

And kept driving.

[abyssfemme]

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

[silly-slacker-person]

“We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain”

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT

Y'know, how you talk to your grandma?

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

hello? HUSH

[bakvvas-deactivated20181218]

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

[sigma-enigma]

[zetsubonna]

The comments are just a list of a hundred different bits that made everybody laugh,and that’s how you know John Mulaney is a legend in his own time.

[ethanrayne]

And then the horse is like, “I have fired the horse-catcher.”

[ruffboi-mags]

Imma push him and shout I’VE GOD AiDs! No, that’s too strong.

[journeytofearless]

taylor swift songs as queer eye screen caps

gorgeous:

you need to calm down:

i did something bad:

our song:

the archer:

style:

delicate:

girl at home:

this is why we can’t have nice things:

dress:

[taylorswift]

This is everything 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[editsxkfj]

by l-ookaround.

[househunting]

$1,043,909/4 br

3,191 square feet

Portland, OR

[keichanz]

Smut with farts and cheese.

YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM ME RYU HOW DARE OYU LEAVE THIS HERE AND LE A AVE I I WLL FIND YOU YOU DIRTY SOCK

REBLOG TO GET THIS WRITTEN

[keichanz]

AHRI WHAT THE FUCK

REBLOG TO KEEP ME ALIVE

[ryupioupiou]

Muhuhuhuhuhu I am a dirty sock 

[keichanz]

[sticky-llama-perfection]

Reblogging to keep this going because now im laughing my head off.

[britonell]

Some say Ryu is still being hunted to this day.

[ryupioupiou]

And Ryu shall NEVER REGRET THIS!

[sssuperbartola]

Reblogging just to piss off @keichanz nbgrdabgr

[keichanz]

Fuck you Irene

[eternalnight8806-3]

Rebloging because dungeon shenanigans are the bestest, right @keichanz? Lol

[keichanz]

I will end you

[sssuperbartola]

[inugirl]

Rebloging cause I have no idea what’s going on and I wanna know what’s gonna happen next

[keichanz]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS YOU HEATHENS 

[inubaby-deactivated20260108]

Reblogging for the outcome

[britonell]

[classysassy9791]

^^ keiz running from all of us

[keichanz]

With every reblog a little bit of my soul purifies and that’ll makE IT HARDER FOR YOU GETS TO GET YOUR PRECIOUS SMUT

REMEMBER THAT HEATHENS 

[smartass-bookworm]

You forget I grew up with you. Your soul will never be pure 😈

[keichanz]

NOT HELPING WENCH

[heres-unique]

@keichanz lol not sorry

[itwasntasingle]

TAYLOR NATION IS PERFORMING TONIGHT

[tshifty]

so excited for them wow, what an amazing opportunity, they’ve come so far,

[taylorswift]

Taylor nation right now

[swiftielovelove13]

This is important

[taylorswift]

THIS WAS THE POINT THANK YOU SINCERELY THANK YOU FOR GETTING IT 🐟🐠🐡🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[lbanter1]

Zest Bakery & Coffee House In Stevens Point WI 💋

[kaltman95]

Um, yes, I will take a Fearless and a 1989 please and thank you.

[taylorswift]

WHO DID THIS AND HOW DO I EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE 🙏 🙏🙏

[lifeofswiftie89]

soooooo Paddington the Bear first appeared in a book published on October 13th......that’s right 13th......and you think with how much taylor loves the 13 and her being paddingtons twin that i won’t turn this into a conspiracy theory...well you’re wrong

[icanmakethebadguys-good]

MERE OMG. 13 strikes againnnn @taylorswift

[lifeofswiftie89]

i swear the universe does everything in its power to make this happen not clickbait

[icanmakethebadguys-good]

This is Easter egg #1303018213

[lifeofswiftie89]

DONT GIVE TAYLOR IDEAS I SWEAR

[taylorswift]

[starcitysirens]

There are two kinds of fic writers:

1. Fuck it, it’s fiction

2. Let me look up real estate listings, so I can plot out subway routes and schedules and see if this walk really is long enough for them to have this conversation.

Guess which kind I am.

[cerulean-beekeeper-deactivated2]

3. People who are a weird mix of the above two.

[pixiecodesnowbaz]

Me: you know what I don’t care if this doesn’t quite make sense no one cares they will love it and this won’t be analysed it’s fanfic

Also me: I SWEAR if I can’t find a TREE with this EXACT type of bark that I’m imagining I WILL DIE