Hoactzin

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[valleythey]

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[trashboat]

whenever i see a frog on a lily pad im like yeah man… thats exactly where youre supposed to be

[brucebocchi]

that’s what god says when he sees me crying in a taco cabana bathroom

[ozempicofficial]

[doomedmutual]

[notahorseindisguise]

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

[notahorseindisguise]

[yorickless]

you're not "gay" you're just addicted to the oxytocin and dopamine rush from sucking penis

[enba-and-luka]

[freakoutgirl]

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

[freakoutgirl]

and love..........

[str-ngeloop]

we desperately need sex 2

[str-ngeloop]

i just know someone's going to mention kink. girl that's still sex 1. we had to invent BDSM cause we didn't have sex 2. tis but a pale reflection. but it's coming

[str-ngeloop]

kink reaches mayyybe like sex 1.3 if it hits just right

[dizzyghoast]

when sex 2 comes out what sorts of quality of life updates will be included to help draw in people who never really got into sex 1

[str-ngeloop]

more pleasurable. more intellectually stimulating. higher skill ceiling. more dynamic metagame. optionally more mental-emotional alignment between parties. less cleanup. more intuitive. more variety in sensation and activity to match diverse sensory tendencies. smoother integration with parties' coupled emotional processing. and so on

[cymae-mesa]

Fishing minigame.

[existentialterror]

Fishing minigame

[apricops]

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

[chiropteracupola]

I know we compare sewing machines to horses a lot due to the general tendency to spook at nothing and break their legs, but imagine if you had to clean lint out of tiny crevices inside a horse. it could really be so much worse.

[chiropteracupola]

people who are more horsified than me are no longer invited to weigh in on things that you have to clean off of or out of horses.

[cryptotheism]

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

[cryptotheism]

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

[cryptotheism]

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

[brothermouse-skeleton]

As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.