HUMBLY AWESOME

mememememememememes

[raptorgirlfeathers]

creature fact: you have just been bited

[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[bob-artist]

Brotherhood of The Orb

[bob-artist]

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[darkandstormyranger]

finally some relatable content on ig

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[goldenphoenixrises]

[xxeldritchgirlxx]

Best fucking moment in all of anime history.

[aquaflv]

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

[aquaflv]

AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!

[inthesensethat]

[cordic]

its important to me that all y'all know that mannertee has an arch nemesis

his name is Ikanzame and he's a shark with bad driving etiquette!!

[butch-of-the-blades]

ikanzame!!! your people of virginia desire you carnally!!!!

[justgot1]

At the post office today:

Man with beautiful silver undercut and a coach bag: can I get a sheet of stamps please

Clerk: does it matter what kind?

Man, with homosexual despair: EVerything matters to me, unFORtunately.

[sabrebash]

i need a monster and an ibuprofen

[ouijamoon]

[rapicho]

ok every time I see this post I find it necessary to point out Jesus was a carpenter like he legit would’ve used the fuck outta a nail gun

[victusinveritas]

Like this sort of thing? Follow sluttyprimarysource on Threads and think about reading Consider the Fork by Bee Wilson.

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[magical-awesome-kid]

For those who can’t see/hear:

The video opens a door to an outside industrial plant-like area. Snow is on the ground and there is otherwise some miscellaneous noise of factory work going on.

Then the person behind the camera lets off an “OooOOO AH AH” ie the typical monkey sound.

Suddenly the air is filled with the cries of the humans imitating this monkey sound. No one is seen this entire time. You just hear the cries of people imitating monkeys.

[yellow-cat]

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

[yellow-cat]

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

[tiktoks-for-my-besties]

[alexaloraetheris]

My favorite brand of people are musicians who hear Rush Fucking E, which isn't technically meant to be played by a human at all, and immediately picking up their instrument and going 'bet'.

[caesarsaladinn]

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made