if you collected rocks as a kid you're gay now

m / they them

[depsidase]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[captain-price-returns]

the average red state is closer to Sharia Law than Zohran’s NYC

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn't see their reflection

I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue

[zizelle]

ilove homosexuals i  love bisexuals  i love trans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayy ayyayy ayy Weare all sooo ocool

[plum-soup]

your silence on fresh basil pesto is deafening.

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[booksandchainmail]

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

[gobusto]

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

[computationalcalculator]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[cathartidae]

hey. dont cry. 566 california condors, okay? 369 free flying.[1] it's gonna be okay.

[cathartidae]

for the record, in 1987 there were 27. [2] things can get better.

[cathartidae]

HEY. DONT CRY. 607 CALIFORNIA CONDORS, OKAY? 392 FREE FLYING. [3]

[vrabia]

today i learned that the finnish word for ‘hazardous waste’ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as ‘problematic garbage’ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.

[callmebliss]

Your fave is ongelmajäte

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

in german it’s Sondermüll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr

[pyrebomb]

One man’s ongelmajäte is another man’s sondermüll.

[odumb-deactivated20220303]

till deactivation do us part

[flightyfinch]

im so sad this is from a deactivated blog i feel like i just found a heartfelt message in an old locket at a garage sale

[memeuplift]

[athelind]

It's a d

it's a dus

It's a dust bu

[pwhl-mybeloved]

[mawofthemagnetar]

The problem with being low support needs is that people mentally autocorrect that to “no support needs” and then proceed to give you absolutely nothing and then get surprised when you implode after six months.

[headedoutleft]

honestly “the lion doesn’t concern himself with” is a pretty good anti-ocd phrase

[headedoutleft]

the lion doesn’t concern himself with managing other people’s feelings

[headedoutleft]

the lion doesn’t concern himself with what ifs

[headedoutleft]

the lion doesn’t concern himself with germs

[headedoutleft]

the lion doesn’t concern himself with reliving that one excruciatingly painful moment for the one thousandth time and imagining a better response

[teaboot]

Highly unlikely to be of use but I want a card I can carry in my wallet that says “If I Die First In A Traumatic Survival Scenario I Want You To Know I’m Okay With You Cannibalizing Me, It’s Fine, Don’t Be Weird And Guilty About it”. And then on the back there could be like. A list of recipes n shit

[teaboot]

To be clear, I don’t WANT to be cannibalized. It’s not my personal preference. It’s just that if I beef it out in the open somewhere and some poor starving fuck has to have a crisis of ethics over using the protein or dying in a hole, I’d want to some way to let them know my dead ass is rooting for them

[teaboot]

New Hot Take: I Think An Organ Donor Card Counts In A Pinch, Actually