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ooppo

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

ooppo

Not fucking really

penny-anna

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

penny-anna

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

penny-anna

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

storywonker

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

ramshacklefey

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

reformedkingsmanagent

@ghostriderofthearagon

cryptidscrypticcrosswordclub

dYinGggGggg…

whetstonefires

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

whetstonefires

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

bowditch

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

linguisticparadox

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

sainamoonshine

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

esser-z

Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post

runiaimperii

It got better

peaceheather

there may come a day when i do not reblog this post, but it is NOT THIS DAY

diacetylmorphine-android-deacti

slut

transmechanicus

loyal knight

endreal

synonyms

loucifersbitch

if you need me, i’ll be sobbing on the floor. humans, man

Just out here raw dogging the day because I forgot (surprise!) to order my ADHD meds.

#ADHD

semiohazard

a word to the furthest denizens of the Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 17776 day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what-even-is-thiss

I can’t believe that in order to tell a story I need to withhold certain information from the reader at first. I’m excited about it and I want them to know.

thememedaddy

segamascott

fandom-trash-goblin

we've got a life to love living.

butchfagminotaur

i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

aletheyass

"empowering women by sending katy perry to space for 2 minutes" shut the fuck up. samantha cristoforetti was the first female commander of the international space station and she became an astronaut because of star trek. and there is a real chance she is a kirk/spock shipper

prismatic-bell

Let's try Christa McAuliffe.

McAuliffe did not survive to leave the atmosphere. She died in the Challenger explosion.

But she was a schoolteacher. An average, everyday woman who didn't buy her way aboard the space shuttle, but earned it. She planned to teach the first two school lessons from space. Millions of schoolchildren watched the launch live. My sister was one of them. If "where were you when Kennedy was shot" is the question for Boomers, and "where were you when you got the news on 9/11" is the question for Millennials, "where were you when Challenger exploded" is the question for Gen X.

McAuliffe was so beloved that her death basically ended the space craze in media at the time. I did a backward media trace of her death to see if it lined up with entertainment media reactions to 9/11, and the answer was: yes. Within two years of Challenger--I gave that much lead time for movies already in production when Challenger launched--space was gone from cartoons and movies. Basically nothing space went into production after her death, several space-themed shows were canceled, and the whole industry took a hard swerve into the buddy-cop genre.

Christa McAuliffe inspired a generation, and a nation grieved her when she was gone. For 73 seconds, she almost touched the stars, and America loved her for it.

FUCK miss yellowface rich girl.

Her name was Christa McAuliffe, and she empowered girls and women everywhere to dream that the ordinary could become extraordinary, too.

why5x5

Don't forget Sally Ride, the first US American woman in space.

NASA Astronaut / First American Woman in Space

In a space agency filled with trailblazers, Sally Ride was a pioneer of a different sort. The soft-spoken California physicist broke the gender barrier on June 18, 1983, when she became the first American woman in space.

Sally Ride’s place in history was assured on June 18, 1983, when she rocketed into space on Challenger’s STS-7 mission with four male crewmates. Her contribution to America’s space program continued right up until her death.

Ride joined NASA as part of the 1978 astronaut class, the first to include women. She and five other women, along with 29 men, were selected out of 8,000 applicants. The class became known as the “Thirty-Five New Guys” and reported to the Johnson Space Center the next summer to begin training.

Ride trained for five years before she and three of her classmates were assigned to STS-7. The six-day mission deployed two communications satellites and performed a number of science experiments.

prismatic-bell

Amen v'amen.

And for that matter, how about real-life Barbie: Mae Jemison? Medical doctor, teacher, ballerina, astronaut, and author....

And also she was the first Black woman in space and one of the first Black students at Stanford University, entering it in 1973 at the age of 16.

Meanwhile Katy Perry *checks notes* wrote a song comparing Black men to aliens and suggesting they were rapists.

Hm.

sighinastorm

Also, bringing this full-kirkle, Doctor Jemison was on Star Trek!

Thanks to Levar Burton, she was the first‐ever (but not the last) astronaut to appear in it. Nichelle Nichols (her inspiration!) visited her on-set.

sparkles-rainbows-severed-heads

Adding Barbara Morgan to this thread:

Barbara Morgan — a schoolteacher and Christa McCauliffe’s backup on the Challenger mission — went through the same training as Christa and became very close with the other crew members. I’m going to name them: Dick Scobee, Mike Smith, Judy Resnik, Ron McNair, El Onizuka, Greg Jarvis. When the Challenger went up, Babara watched from the roof of a NASA building and cheered her friends on, famously shouting “Bye Christa! Bye Crew!”

After the disaster, Barbara had to grapple with the grief of losing seven friends and supporting the spouses of the crew members. NASA shut down the civilian in space program and Barbara went back to teaching.

But Barbara’s dreams of being an astronaut weren’t dashed. 12 years after the Challenger Disaster, Barbara was selected as an astronaut candidate by NASA and trained full time for the next two years. After more delays because of the space shuttle Columbia disaster, Barbara went to space on STS 118 with Endeavor, honoring the Christa McCauliffe and the Challenger crew, and completing Christa’s original mission of teaching from space via video feed.

After completing her mission and honoring her friends, Barbara left the space program went back to teaching.

Barbara’s determination is the “girl power” I want to see more of.

tehjai

The first six women chosen for human spaceflight in the United States were: Sally Ride, discussed above who was also our first queer person in space, even if she was closeted and we didn't find out until we read the obituary her partner Tam wrote for us all. They were together for 27 years until Sally died. Rhea Seddon, who was a general surgeon and joined the astronaut corps specifically because she had skillsets that would lead to life-sciences missions being flown on the space shuttle (she traveled on STS-40 with thousands of baby jellyfish whose descendants still live on today) Judith Reznik, who was the first Jewish person ever to fly in space. She was a crew member of Christa McAuliffe and died in the loss of STS-51-L (the loss of the Challenger). Kathryn Sullivan, who was the first American woman to do an extravehicular activity and was so talented at that that when they put the best of the best crew together to deploy the Hubble Space Telescope, she was on it. Anna Fisher, a chemist and surgeon, who was the first mom who flew to space, showing that female astronauts CAN and DO have the capability to have a spaceflight career and a family. Shannon Lucid, a biochemist and doctor who stayed in the space program so long that she was one of the first Americans to do long-term spaceflight studies on the space station Mir in the late 90s.

Other notable woman astronauts that have not yet been mentioned include women like Roberta Bondar, Kalpana Chawla, Kathryn Thornton, Eileen Collins, Pam Melroy, Laurel Clark, Cady Coleman and all the others who are in the space program RIGHT NOW.

These are the trailblazing women. Katy Perry can suck a fucking egg.

girlrustcohle

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

iamtheyme

1000% worth it though

what-even-is-thiss

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

iamtheyme

Can confirm. This also somehow gets worse as you get older.

Also, I still have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

messygoku

and what are we going to do when the HP series comes out and we start seeing a resurgence of the fandom here including gifsets and fics. like are u guys gonna bring up your neurodivergence and cry "can we separate the art from the artist!!!!! you dont need to pay to watch it!!!!!its my comfort show and I'm DEPRESSED and AUTISTIC"

what then

queen-of-hearts92

Important addition:

bundibird

Reminder that "separating the art from the artist" is a sentiment that only works when the artist is dead and no longer profiting off the work in question.

JKR is still very much alive and very much openly devoted to spending as much of her money on efforts that increase transphobia. You cannot separate this artist from this art, because she is heartily using funds from that art to fund hate groups.

Do not watch it. Do not pirate it. Do not talk about it. Have nothing to do with it whatsoever.