If Eyes Were Made For Seeing...

[depsidase]

[vittyyluvscookies]

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

[submissivefeminist]

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

[chaotichowlite]

‘Vagina-owners’

[anxiousnerd]

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

[sexylibrarian1]

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

[occupyvenus]

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

[phantoms-lair]

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

[taysweetbae]

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

[greedyagain]

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

[justwritingscibbles]

Reblogging because I didn’t know this and it needs to be shared.

[duckwithdeviousintent]

Rebloging because idk whats going on down there rn

[evil-bread-offical]

Reblogging because I want people to stay safe

[t4llyyy-deactivated20260529]

reblogging because who the fuck knows

[biglawbear]

I finished reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time in my life. With all of *vague gesture at everything* this going on.

I Am Not Okay

[biglawbear]

You have to understand. I watched the movies maybe once as a kid when they came out twenty years ago. I've somehow avoided learning like anything about these books my entire life. Literally everything about these books was a complete unknown and surprise to me. Totally blank slate going on. I barely even knew how it ended.

Holy shit.

[biglawbear]

Frodo didn't complete his task. Sam literally carried him up Mount Doom. And when he got to the end, he couldn't throw the Ring away.

But for Gollum biting it off with his finger, it wouldn't have been destroyed.

So Frodo's journey saved the world nonetheless.

And it broke him.

It was too much for him to bear. He could no longer live in the Shire or live in Middle-Earth. He wasn't of the world anymore. He had to go to the Undying Lands.

He took on the task that no one else would. He saved the world. Everyone got a happy ending. Aragorn became King, Sam rebuilt the Shire, Merry and Pippin became heroes. They all lived in renown.

But Frodo had the hardest task of all. No one else would do it. A simple hobbit who came by the Ring by chance. Not a King, not an immortal. Not a wizard. No power save his will and his friends. And he did it and saved everyone.

And he never got to rest. He never got to remain in peace. The task destroyed him. It was too much.

But there was no other way. Nobody but a simple hobbit could bear the ring all the way to Mount Doom and resist its power so long. Not a man, not an elf, not a wizard; they would have succumbed. Gandalf knew this, which was why he chose the hobbits in all his designs.

It's amazing that one of the precedent setting works in the fantasy genre holds up so well because it subverts what ultimately became the genre's core tropes. The hero was not the King, or a chosen one. In fact, the hero not being the King was a key point that allowed Aragorn to distract Sauron and allow the task in the first place. The hero was someone unassuming but courageous, who did the thing because no one else would, even though it was just by chance he came upon it.

But Frodo couldn't resist the Ring completely. He wasn't superior to anyone else in that way. And in the end it left him broken. The burden crushed him. No one else could do it, and in the end, he couldn't either. He wasn't so special that he was invulnerable.

I'm not okay. Holy fuck you guys.

[biglawbear]

It's been a week and I'm still not over this, I'll never get over this.

Something that I've been thinking about, as I struggle with depression and anxiety and *another vague gesture at everything* is that LOTR does not criticize Frodo for being broken. It does not shame him or deny him what he needs.

The task was too much and it broke him and that's okay. His friends nonetheless take care of him and let him go with understanding. The book doesn't treat it as a bad thing.

This seems to be a theme throughout the books. The characters rest and heal. They spend time recovering in Rivendell, Fangorn, Lorien, Ithilien. It's treated as good and necessary. They don't heroically endure endless torment from the second they set out until they're done.

And in Gondor's march from Minas Tirith to Mordor, Aragorn recognizes that some of the very few men he's taking with him don't have the heart to go to battle against the Enemy. And he says that's okay. He gives them other tasks the they can do. They hold other strategic points. They aren't shamed for not going all the way, or kicked out, or told that they aren't manly or whatever. Their limitations are recognized and respected. The task was too big and it was okay that they couldn't do it.

I don't know man. I've held on through some absolutely crazy shit. White knuckled through mental health crises when my doctors were begging me to take a break, to go to the hospital before I hurt myself. My therapist has tried to slow me down and tell me that I've been going through it and it's understandable that I am feeling some kind of way. Even one of my colleagues remarked that I've had an absolutely fucking wild career and that I've seen more as a lawyer of seven years than she has as a lawyer of forty. But I've gotten it into my head that I have to be strong, I have to be independent.

Fuck me, man, I'm currently white knuckling through life and hanging on by a fucking thread. A few weeks ago I was about an hour away from checking myself in to a mental health facility until my best friends swooped in to help me. And then I went right back to work.

And then I read this book. This fucking brilliant and beautiful book written by a man who had seen the horrors of war and spilled it all over the page. And I read it for the first time as an adult with full understanding and experience of what it all means. And it hits me like a fucking truck.

And it says that you can't endure everything. That at some point you need to rest and heal. That if you take on too much you will break. And that all of that is okay.

How am I supposed to move on with my life after reading this?

[berenshand]

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

You are an excellent teacher

[outofcontextgarf]

[coolerdracula]

[rontology]

I love asking friends, without context, "what are you really into this week?" I'll go first. this week I'm really into mouthwash and sudoku. Last week I was into peaches.

[rontology]

we used to be a society on here!! reblog, don't like! I want to hear what you're into!!! I'm literally looking into the nyt game Pips!!!

[non-binary-laurie-strode]

You’ve been hit by 🔪

You’ve been struck by 🔪

A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪

[iamfuckingweeping]

CAESER ARE YOU OKAY

ARE YOU OKAY CEASER

[fourofthem]

au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home

[anoteinpink]

#IM LAUGHIN #in the middle of it achilles throws a fit #”MAN IVE BEEN DJING FOR 3 HOURS YOU TOLD ME ID ONLY HAVE TO DO IT FOR LIKE AN HOUR” #”achilles cmon do menelaus a solid your djing is totally putting helen in the mood” #”FUCK YOU TOO AG” #he mopes upstairs to make out with his boyfriend #in the middle of a really quick’n’dirty handie someone bursts in the room all #”THIS IS AN EMERGENCY WE’RE OUT OF VODKA” #achilles is like FUCK OFF ASSHOLES I CANT PLAY BEER PONG BUT AS SOON AS YOU NEED SOMEONE TO GO ON A BOOZE RUN ITS ME. OF COURSE #patroclus is like ”well you are the fastest driver” ”I DONT CARE IM NOT GOING” #patroclus ”FINE then i’ll take your car dont be a baby” #5 minutes after patroclus is out the door achilles is like ”shit i fucked up” and catches a taxi to the liquor store #to meet up with patroclus #they drink the vodka and have sex in achilles’ car and forget all about the party

[needlekind]

on the way home odysseus gets into a very minor fender bender that’s more like a fender bumper with some shit driver who is almost DEFINITELY high. and it’s all this guy’s fault but he won’t stop screaming about how he’s gonna fucking sue and odysseus just wants to go the fuck home and the guy goes “I’M FILING THE POLICE REPORT WHO ARE YOU” and odysseus is just so done that he says “nobody” and drives the fuck off and this completely tripping guy ends up screaming to the police at the side of the road at like three in the morning “NOBODY CRASHED INTO MY CAR!!!!!”

[christycorr]

majestic-beard:

#I’M FUCKING SCREAMING #THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD THO #ODYSSEUS’ GF PENELOPE IS STUCK AT ANOTHER PARTY #GETTING HIT ON BY DOUCHES FROM ANOTHER FRAT #BUT ODYSSEUS HAS TO LIKE FIND A NEW CAR AND TRIES TO BORROW ONE FROM THIS CHICK WHO GIVES HIM SOME FUCKIN LACED POT OR SOMETHING BC HE FEELS LIKE HE’S BEEN THERE FOREVER #AND MEANWHILE PENELOPE HAS BEEN FORCED TO SAY THAT SHE’LL GO HOME WITH WHOEVER CAN BEAT HER AT BEERPONG #ONLY SHE’S FUCKIN LEGENDARY #SUCKS TO SUCK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BEAT HER IS ODYSSEUS #BUT HE HAS TO BE ON THE DL BC THIS FRAT HATES HIS GUTS #AND HE BEATS HER #AND SHE KNOWS IT’S HIM

[ghostienoah-deactivated20160206]

This was wild from start to finish.

[sapphicdalliances]

#the chilliad

[avelera]

But have you considered: Thorin might be nearsighted?

Case in point:

Exhibit 2

“It cannot be.”aka Doesn’t actually recognize Azog until he starts talking…

This needs no explanation:

*BOOM*

Exhibit 3:

Not subtitled, but Thorin shouts for Kili when actually Fili is the one who was almost crushed >.< 

Exhibit 4

Not pictured because I couldn’t find a gif, but Thorin prompting Balin to lead them out of Rivendell because he “can see knows these paths”

Exhibit 5 

Cut off Azog’s arm, was probably aiming for something slightly more fatal, couldn’t tell he was alive when dragged back inside Moria…

Exhibit 6

WHERE’S BILBO?

(”I have no idea because I can’t see for shit.”)

Conclusion:

Since wearing glass in front of your eyes is slightly more of a liability for a fighter than people’s faces being slightly blurry, I’m just gonna throw this out there as a possible explanation for fandom to run with ;)

[avelera]

Ok but I think this is my favorite post of mine that’s done well because

1) it give a humorous explanation for Thorin’s random moments of fail that’s cracky and funny

2) it actually kinda makes sense and it gives Thorin a minor (or not so minor for his life and world) disability that he works around and actually kinda explains said moments of fail realistically and honestly guys the more I think about it and replay the movies in my head the fewer contradictions I can find for this headcanon???

[withywindlesdaughter]

There is a fanfic in here somewhere 

[guylty]

Convincing arguments!

[clematis70]

Thorin has suddenly become more human and more pleasant (short-sighted person speaking here)

[gwengrimm]

@ymrtumbler

[ymrtumbler-blog]

I love this. Thanks for the tap, @gwengrimm!

[heirsfthemountainhall]

You are not wrong OP, Thorin IS nearsighted.  In the book, it was even canon:

“How far away do you think it is?”  asked Thorin, for by now they knew Bilbo had the sharpest eyes among them.   “Not far at all.  I shouldn’t think above twelve yards.” “Twelve yards!  I should have thought it was thirty at least, but my eyes don’t see as well as they used a hundred years ago-”  (From the chapter, ‘Flies and Spiders’ of The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien )

Thorin isn’t just slightly nearsighted either, he thought a large object at across-the-street distance was three-quarters of the length of a football field away.   By modern standards he would be legally, coke-bottle-glasses-or-we-don’t-let-you-drive, blind.

In the movie Thorin’s nearsightedness is never actually stated, but I love the clever ways in which they worked it into the acting (as avelera highlighted very well), and also into the costume and set design (implying that Dwarves tend to be nearsighted in general):  Dwarven ornamentation is always three-dimensional, be it stamped leather, cut runes, thickly-embroidered brocade, or cast-metal beads.  There are no purely painted or smooth-inlaid designs anywhere that would require sight, let alone 20/20 vision.  

Dwarven cities too, are violently three-dimensional and ornamented with a lot of straight-lined geometry and gigantic statues.  Perhaps most telling of all, the terrifyingly high stone bridges found in both Erebor AND Moria are treated as perfectly ordinary sidewalks… which would make sense for a race that couldn’t even SEE the ground below.

As for Thorin’s precision-jump in the forges…

Brass ones.  Solid fucking brass ones.

[meabhair]

When I talk my glasses off, the last two images look identical to me… just saying, I relate

[weresehlat]

What I love about this too is that you CAN’T tell me that the dwarrow didn’t invent the use of glass for lenses. Like, you CAN’T.

Not only are they incredibly necessary for detail work on very, very fine gem work, glasses are really freaking necessary for interacting with the world outside the mountain if you’re as fucking blind as Thorin is

Which brings up the point- why doesn’t Thorin wear glasses? 

There are two theories I can think of right off the bat. The first is that Thorin doesn’t wear them because they don’t look “kingly,” which, while absolutely hysterical, I don’t think is likely to be true.

No, what I’m willing to bet is that glasses are too expensive to create and maintain for a people in exile, and if his people are going without you can be damn sure that Thorin will be right there with them.

[avelera]

My theory @weresehlat is actually that glasses during any kind of sword fight would be a huge liability. Having GLASS in front of your eyes just waiting for your opponent to shatter and blind you would be super dangerous, much better to just take the blurriness (in a hand-to-hand fight you don’t need that much precision vision anyway).

(Holy shit I just realized that’s why Thorin misses Thranduil’s white deer by like a MILE when he shoots at it!) 

The other alternative could simply be: Thorin doesn’t know. 

See, across all the reblogs of this post I’ve seen SO MANY people mistake nearsighted and farsighted. I’m saying specifically that Thorin is nearsighted, he CAN see things that are near to him, he CAN’T see things that are far away. 

I absolutely believe dwarves have figured out lenses for close-up work like jewel-cutting or even just for reading, after all Balin has reading glasses, we see them in the film. Farsightedness (not being able to read close-up) is a product of the eye muscles growing tired over time from constantly focusing in and out. It would be very likely that people who do fine detailed work would go farsighted very quickly. 

However, going back to Thorin complimenting Bilbo on his “keen eyes”, Thorin may genuinely believe that Bilbo has unusually sharp, almost elvish eyes, and not realize that Bilbo is just a normal 20/20 and that Thorin nearly blind as a bat. As someone who was nearsighted, the first time you put on corrective lenses is a revelation (THE TREES HAVE LEAVES!) but until that point you don’t know that you have a problem. My theory is that Thorin may genuinely not know that his vision sucks, and reading glasses are actually just easier to make than distance-glasses, he may not ever find out. Or he knows and just takes the hit to vision because having Azog headbutt him in the face while he’s wearing them would end very poorly for him :P

[telltalelily]

I may be late to the party, but this makes so much sense! I would also propose that at least some of Thorin’s grouchiness may be due to headaches from straining to make things out at a farther distance than his eyes really allow for. Also, you know, the painful past and stuff…

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Don’t forget he worked in a forge too. A mate of mine suffers from something called Welder’s Flash which has damaged his eyesight and it’s from working in similar conditions to those we see in the flashback scenes of the forges of Erebor. 

If you’re working in a very hot environment or a place where the contrast between bright and dark is very high then it can damage your eyesight. So Thorin says his eyesight used to be better when he was younger, but in the century since they fled Erebor he’s not been a prince sitting around doing princely stuff, he’s been working in a blacksmith’s forge. 

[patchesofuniverse]

I’m reblogging this mostly for the fabulous interpretation but also because apparently I’m not the only one who went “THERE ARE LEAVES ON THE TREES!” despite my family laughing about it for a decade

[mybrainkindahoyts]

When your whole squad backs you up in a fight but you music af.

[mybrainkindahoyts]

Thanks for 1,000 notes guys 💕

[sawftbinch]

i’m just mad that they were able to hide 2 whole people + trombones behind one person that’s amazing

[kingofthewilderwest]

The tuba player is what did it for me.

[starrys-stuff]

@official-tuba

[official-tuba]

This is flawless, beautiful, a true masterpiece

[theresmagicinthat]

A New Hope + Onion Headlines

[al-is-my-pal]

what am I doing alkwfjaf

[sunshinelixies]

*arrives three month late with a vine compilation*

[memewhore]

[plumwildflowers]

I forgot I made a couple of mini vine compilations when they announced the end of vine

[elodieunderglass]

i don’t know how vine so perfectly encapsulated the best of humanity but that was a weird time

[anodymalion]

I realized that a bunch of my favorite vines are ones I haven’t seen in any vine complications and I was afraid of losing them to the void so here you are (plus some classics that I couldn’t leave out)

Part 2

[dankmemeuniversity]

[defydamage]

I have never seen such an accurate depiction of what it looks like without glasses.