I Didn't Do It I Swear

Becca. Living and whatnot.

[soup-in-the-inbox]

I honestly blame the rise of anti-intellectualism and things like hating on old books because they're not up to modern standards on why people can't think with nuance and are afraid of bucking the norm or forming their own opinions. You're going to read Of Mice And Men and you're going to be fucking uncomfortable because that's the goddamn point. You're going to read the original Romeo and Juliet and remember the whole point is to make fun of how stupid and dramatic teenagers are and you're going to sit there and be uncomfortable because the only way you're going to expand your horizons is if you're feeling weird and off and hate it for awhile.

You're going to have to sit in front of the trolley problem as hate that there's no "win" scenario because that's the point. There is no Everybody Wins and Nothing Bad Happens in real life 99% of the time.

You need to be uncomfortable. You need to be conflicted. You cannot be a complete, nuanced, and intelligent person if you refuse to engage with the gray. You are just a bad person at that point. And a stupid one. Because I'm done pulling punches.

[saint-ambrosef]

some of y'all need to learn how to accept hospitality. stop assuming people are only offering to look after you out of twisted obligation that they don't actually want to do. when you assume that, you are often denying someone the opportunity to genuinely show a friend or stranger love. even if you don't really care about what they're offering, it's respectful of their desire to be kind to accept it anyways.

i had a bunch of girls i've never met over for a women's group. every single one of them denied my offer to make them tea (despite already making myself a mug anyways), get them water, a scone, etc.

i can tell when people refuse to let me be a good host because they "don't want to be a bother". like no!! please be a bother!!! i want to serve you and make you comfortable in my home!

not to be like "we live in a society" but really do live in a modern culture than emphasizes individualism to the point where people will reflexively deny any help or kindness from others for fear of treading on their independence. newsflash: dependence on each other is what makes a community. next time someone offers you kindness, accept it instead of making excuses for why you don't need it. otherwise you've robbed both yourself of being loved and someone else from showing love.

[cheerfulomelette]

One of the things that really helped me make friends as an adult was learning that people want to be wanted, they want to be useful

Accepting help and offering help in return was key to deepening acquaintances into fully-fledged friendships

[swordshapedleaves]

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.

[swordshapedleaves]

prev these tags have me crying. this is absolutely what it's all about

[stillhere-erehllits]

This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.

If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.

[finnglas]

This is honestly one of the places I find Marie Kondo's advice most helpful. I stop, look at the thing I've spent time and money on only to realize I dislike, and I say, "Thank you for teaching me something about myself and my preferences. I think I've learned this particular lesson and we can part ways now."

And then I don't feel like I "wasted" things or made a mistake. I just tried one path of learning about myself, learned something, and now it's time for a different path. Works a lot better for my brain.

[ekjohnston]

The time Marie Kondo said "you can thank a a shirt you've never worn for teaching you about your taste", thereby making it NOT A WASTE literally rewired my whole brain. Acknowledge the thing and move forward, even if that means leaving the thing behind.

[officialspec]

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

[officialspec]

some people are responding to this like its a joke and im going to assume u are the type of people to say "its only a 3 minute walk" when i tell them the nearest bench is too far away

[officialspec]

also anyone who thinks "3 minutes isnt THAT bad" you will be old one day. and you will wish the bench was closer

[shinraalpha]

walkable cities also means cities with free accessible public bathrooms whilst we're at it

[newyorkkiss]

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

[2000three]

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

[cazort]

I love how every time I log on, this site attains new levels of heresy. I can't wait to see what is next.

[ofswordsandpens]

directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

[kurganfilledwithbearbones]

But you do have it! because American English has titles and also hierarchical treatment of last names (if your name is Jeremy Jefferson, there's a huge semantic weight difference between Jerry, Jeremy, Mr. Jeremy, and Mr. Jefferson, for example). English marks hierarchy and familiarity even if it doesn't do it in more grammatical terms. Think of being a kid and your parents yelling your full name across the house when you were in trouble.

I speak Icelandic. Icelandic doesn't have titles or last names or everyday use of a formal plural or any other obvious markers of formality and intimacy. Formality is still marked, just in non-grammatical lexical terms...but because it's not marked in ways I as a L1 English speaker recognize, it's harder for me to reproduce.

The reason you feel like this doesn't exist in English to the point where it exists in Spanish is because it's easier to spot for a L2 learner who has to think about categorizing the new language in a way that makes sense in the L1, and unless you have some more in depth information about language registers and intimacy marking and whatever it's easy to consider this as a novel phenomenon in the L2. But a lot of this semantic stuff is pretty universal, just marked in different ways.

[lunalingua]

THANK YOU. This is a misconception. Speaking from my experience of living in Japan and studying Japanese while being a native speaker of American English:

1. For folks who don't know, Japanese words/grammar change depending on formality, the genders of the speaker and listener, the age of the speaker and listener, etc.

2. But English words/grammar ALSO change depending on the above contexts described. It's just not formalized in grammar books. Consider the differences:

A. "The honor of your presence is requested for dinner this evening."

B. "I would like to invite you to dinner."

C. "Do you want to get dinner together?"

D. "Wanna grab a bite to eat?"

E. "Yo, bro, you want a burger?"

Etc. People will be like "it's wild that Japanese has different words for 'meal' depending on formality!! Gohan? Omeshi? Crazy!!!" But ENGLISH IS THE SAME WAY.

And this actually makes it harder for speakers of languages like Japanese to learn natural English, because they've been taught that there's no difference in tone between telling a waiter "I'd like a coffee" and "I want coffee." Since one of those feels easier to learn, they'll choose the option that makes them sound weirdly dickish to the waitstaff.

In short: English has levels of formality! Conveniently, saying otherwise fits the stereotypes of rigidly hierarchal East Asians, refined and sophisticated Europeans, and lawless/casual Americans and Australians—but us not recognizing these differences makes it harder for ESL speakers to learn real English

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[rayless-reblogs]

English used to have the informal you -- "thou". It wasn't a fancy way of saying you, it was a close way of saying you.

And (some) English-speakers can still have that moment when you switch from formal to informal address. One of my relatives befriended a Quaker. At the start of the relationship her Quaker friend used "you" like anyone else. Once they became close, she switched to using "thee".

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that thing where you're attracted to someone not in a platonic or romantic or sexual way, but in an 'i want to read about their exploits' kind of way

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no i don't want to "date" or "hang out" i sort of just want to follow you around while you go about your crazy business. i won't make it weird if u won't

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i want to narrate a nature documentary about you

[kaijuno]

I found god in a hopeless place

[guerrillatech]

[wormsical]

it would be one thing if it was just the horrors but it's all the little horrorcitos también

[byjove]

I know vampirism is often used as a metaphor for the drain of the aristocracy but I think it would be fun to have more vampire characters who were just some guy before they got turned. You seek out the most ancient vampire in existence and find out he was a 40 year old wheat farmer in ancient Mesopotamia when he was turned 7,000 years ago and he hasn’t been doing much since then.

[byjove]

You ask him about his experience living through the rise and fall of most major empires and he’s like “It was very bad. For my wheat.”

[byjove]

You’re like “Why do you sow and reap a wheat harvest every year? Is it to retain the memory of your humanity? In honor of those you have loved and lost?” and he’s like “I just like growing wheat. I think it’s fun.”

[byjove]

Nope. He’s got a new tractor. He’s got his headphones on. He’s listening to AC/DC. He’s fine.

[memewhore]

[gean-grey-blog]

Favorite thing about the Red Note shenanigans: Mongolian ranchers suddenly gaining a rabid following of American horse girls and being like "we knew you had cowboys but we didn't know you value and love horses as friends like we do, this is excellent"

Mongolian rancher 🤝 American horse girl synergy I guess

[thedogopera]

OUT: Emily in Paris 🇫🇷 🙅‍♀️

IN: McKinleigh in Ulaanbataar 🐴 🇲🇳 🛖

[aniconist]

when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

[what-even-is-thiss]

You can also find a sunset at a gas station

[thriftedspacesuit]

time to break out my favorite photo I ever took

[willowcrowned]

people are always like “oh I want Leia and Padmé to meet they have so much in common” but let’s be honest if Leia ‘I’d Stab Him Without a Second Thought’ met Padmé ‘I Can Fix Him’ Amidala there would DEFINITELY be blood

[willowcrowned]

Luke and Padmé: there’s still good in him!

Leia, cocking her gun: not enough