50% Stress, 40% Confusion, 10% Guinea Pig Facts

Things I liked that I reblogged. I tend to like Disney movies, Marvel movies, small animals, and really dumb jokes.

[snartha]

hufflepuff more like hufflePREP amirite

[hogwartsconsultingtimelady]

If you know what this is referencing you deserve a senior discount

[alienpapacy]

trending news

[airframeextender]

underwater temple, underwater monk

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

he’s got underwater junk in his underwater trunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk

underwater temple, underwater monk

[cnsystem]

[thesexydancingcrepe]

Sick rhymes

[thesexydancingcrepe]

HOLY COW! SOMEONE MADE THIS A SONG!!👍✨

[dragontrickster73]

this song slaps harder than anything i’ve heard in the past decade

[astriiformes]

the idea of two aromantic platonic partners having a “convenience marriage” is like my favorite thing right now I’m both getting really excited and cracking up over the possibilities I mean just imagine:

“we got married because of tax benefits”

“we got married because it gave us an excuse to have sleepovers every night”

“we got married because it seemed convenient to ‘pool our assets’ (aka our library is now twice as big, as is our collection of Disney movies)”

“we got married because it gave us an excuse to ask for toasters from people as wedding gifts”

[astriiformes]

#we got married because weddings are really exciting and we can plan it how we want it and it doesn’t need to include kissing bc that can be weird#but it gives us an excuse to have a dessert table#because dESSERT TABLE#I just want dessert table festivities#festivities around a dessert table#ahh#desssseeeeerrrrrt#CHEESECAKES THOOOOOOOO#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

this is the most important addition anyone has made to this post bless you and may the Force be with you my friend

[eighthdoctor]

#aromantic couple that learns about the practice of getting married again to ‘reaffirm your commitment’#and proceeds to get married every year#and every year the dessert table is bigger and more extravagent#and they start experimenting with variations on the ceremony (x)

[sherokutakari]

#we got married because we only needed to buy one copy of each book #we got married because then no one goes to the movies alone #we got married because then we got to design WEDDING CLOTHES #we got married because pillow fights #we got married because this makes emergency contact info much easier #we got married because weirding out conservatives (x)

[eighthdoctor]

 We got married because broadway duets while doing chores, we got married because HALF AS MANY CHORES, we got married because surprise cookies on bad days, we got married because surprise cookies on GOOD days, we got married so we’d never have to ask the other if we could come over today again, we got married so our parents would stop asking (x)

[sherokutakari]

#we got married because someone will get meds when we’re sick #we got married because secondary income #we got married because joint big finish account #we got married because two people can walk more dogs than one person which means more dogs #we got married because broadway duets while doing anything #we got married because only one of us likes cooking and the other is fine with dishes #we got married because both of us like cooking and we can trade off #we got married because help with disabilities and someone who doesn’t judge #we got married because of the satisfaction of hearing ‘have you found someone yet’ and getting to say ‘yes’ and hang up #we got married because anniversary parties are even more fun than weddings #MORE DESSERT TABLES #we got married because couples discounts on things

(

x

)

[ohaugustine-blog]

#we got married because two people can walk more dogs than one person which means more dogs PERFECT

[vaspider]

I want y'all to pause for a moment and consider this: all of the things that people have cited above? Those are the things, in my experience, that make marriage ACTUALLY work in the long run. Splitting the work, taking care of each other, walking the dogs, sharing tasks because I am okay with folding laundry while my spouse hates it but he’ll carry the heavy baskets for me, because singing duets in the car is fun, because sometimes I worked all day and he’s on leave right now so he made dinner and made my favorite pasta dish with fresh tomatoes… those are the REAL reasons a marriage works. So think about this for a moment because romance is, frankly, very secondary to what makes a marriage work in the long term. Partnership, task-sharing, friendship, all of those things are the true thing that will tell you whether a marriage will stand the test of time. So it’s not that I’m saying that aromantic relationships are like taking a “normal” relationship and taking out the romance, I’m saying that IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WOULD NOT STAND UP WITHOUT THE ROMANCE IN IT, DON’T GET MARRIED. We should in fact consider the aromantic “platonic lifemate” as the ideal BASIS for a marriage in the long term. We should be looking at platonic lifemates and saying, “do we measure up to that standard? Is our love for each other aromantic TOO? Are we at that bedrock?” Because you will go through periods in your life, and your marriage, where even if you love one another romantically and deeply, there won’t be much romance. Maybe, you know, your spouse just got part of her spine removed, or you are really stressed out by work, or a move, or your dog/cat/kid/mouse/pet tarantula is sick, or your neighbor is crazy and intruding on your space, and you will NEED EACH OTHER but there won’t be much romance in it. If you can’t be platonic partners, if you don’t stand up to that ideal, seriously consider this. Consider BUILDING this as part of building your relationship – and use it as a good test for whether or not sex/romance is covering up serious communication issues, or abuse. I submit that we should refer to this as the New Platonic Ideal. Thank you.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we need to recognize that there’s this space between teenager and adult where, yeah, people are legal adults but are still developing. And that’s an important context. Like ok yes she’s 18 and an adult, but it is still predatory/hella creepy for a 50 year-old to come on to her. A black youth is 18, but when he’s shot by the police the headlines refer to him specifically as an adult in a way they wouldn’t to a white 18 yo. An 18 yo getting into a fight or making a crap decision is very different than my 50+ yo dad doing the same.

It justs feels like we regard the (arbitrary) legal age as this huge leap from minor to adult. When in fact an 18 yo has more in common with a 17 yo than a 30 yo. Being of legal age doesn’t automatically make you experienced or equipped for every aspect of adult life. (btw I am not saying 18 year olds should have fewer legal rights/participate less in government & society. That is not what this post is about.)

We need to acknowledge that young adults are vulnerable (and still maturing) in a way older adults are not. Our culture has a long history of emphasizing the ‘maturity’ of young victims to excuse older adults, while in other circumstance using youth to undermine and dismiss people of the same age. 

[thebootydiaries]

male stand-up comedians: haha women be shopping! They be eating salad!

female stand-up comedians: haha hey look I’m a girl and I have sex! I’m crazyyy

me, 6 ft handsome man in the crowd: has anyone seen my foam cup? It fell out of my hand has anyone seen it? I want to recycle

[arirna]

[lonely-boiii]

OKAY BUT HOLY SHIT THAT ANIMATION IS SO FUCKING FLUID

[theirroyalbiness]

This is so cute and it’s so gorgeous omg

[meabeck]

[wellillbedamned]

PETE??????

[cunt-ceptual]

Feminist ally and gay rights hero Pete

[wackd-archive]

Pete is an asshole, but he’s not a monster

[polyglotplatypus]

im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers

[polyglotplatypus]

ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 

(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

Yes this!

Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)

And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).

Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).

Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.

Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.

You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.

Not even a little bit.

[angeredthoughts]

@tamberland

[zetarays]

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED

[wembleyfragglesarchive]

i’m losing my mind

[friendlyfrankenstein]

bert was always my favorite muppet as a kid and TBH I stand by this as an adult. 

[friendlyfrankenstein]

anyways its been like four days and I have yet to stop laughing even slightly less at ‘OH GROOVE WITH ME BABY’ (THUNK THUNK THUNK) so 

im starting to suspect bert and ernie sketches were just the basis of my sense of humor

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

I’m gonna say something….. controversial

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

if you’re writing a story and your villain has (or is) dissociative identity disorder then your art is bad and you should feel bad.

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

you know how straight people are really terrible at telling gay jokes because they don’t understand what the actual funny parts of being gay are?

Yeah people without DID who try to use the disorder for horror/thriller purposes fail at it because they don’t understand how DID actually effects people and their lives and behavior and relationships

In fact every piece of dramatic media I can think of that depicts DID kinda relies on the audience not understanding how DID actually works

And if the audience being educated ruins their suspension of disbelief, you’ve fucked up

And if you have to demonize highly vulnerable abuse survivors to create drama, you might not have any business writing fiction to begin with

[jrbsfx]

In case you’re wondering how smart rats can be, and if Ratatouille is real, then allow me to share this story: I once had two rats, River and Chell, both rescued from a laboratory as babies. Chell was whip-smart and liked to ride around on my shoulders as I walked around the apartment. She would recognize places she wanted to go, such as her cage or the sofa, and I would raise my arm up to let her run across to her objective. She quickly cottoned on to this and, in an entirely self-taught behavior, would run to one of my shoulders or another and tug on my sleeve, to signal me to raise my arm in the direction she wanted. In this manner she was able to steer me around the apartment and would frequently use me as a taxi instead of walking herself. She then taught her sister how to do it too.

[bedcorpse]

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

[fiyhi]

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

[bedcorpse]

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

[thecarrisonfiles]

Awwwww

[where-are-your-source-citations]

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

[madlori]

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

[losethehours]

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

[grenade-maid]

My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

[estebanwaseaten]

From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was. 

So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter. 

As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’ 

So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”

HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

[trans-goblins]

Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed

[butterynutjob]

Yeah yeah but I need you to know that 40s isn’t old. In fact men are often in the the peak athletic shape of their lives in their 40’s, and women could be too, if they weren’t so sleep deprived.

[catchymemes]

[americachavez]

I respect and admire ellen page as a wonderful human and actor but she has never played a convincing straight person in her entire career

[americachavez]

honestly if they wanted this romance to come across as anything but “closeted lesbian tries to date the first man who shows any sort of interest in her because she has unresolved attachment and emotional issues” they shouldn’t have cast ellen page

[king-monky]

Marriage is good and weddings are great but I hate modern wedding culture. You don’t need to bankrupt yourself to have a nice wedding. Stop supporting the wedding industry, stop buying outrageously priced engagement rings, stop spending 10k on a dress you’ll only ever wear once.

[tidy-tidings]

Coming from a professional event planner - weddings are egregiously expensive because companies openly raise prices at the word “wedding.” 

Pro Tip - Never drop the word wedding while planning if you don’t need to. Most things can be for “an event you’re planning.” This obviously doesn’t include things like the venue, DJ (who needs specific wedding songs), and the wedding dress company if you’re going that route versus just buying a dress.

For my wedding I got “discounted” cupcakes, flowers, decor, bridesmaids dresses, groomsman attire, and invitations. I did this by either searching for things that aren’t marketed for weddings or not telling the companies I was working with it was for a wedding. Because honestly, most of the time they don’t need to know why you’re ordering.

These companies target people planning their weddings and markup everything the second “wedding” is said. And it’s said often because people assume the services change exponentially for weddings. They absolutely do not. 

The best example are the cupcakes I had for my wedding. I used a designer cupcake store in town instead of spending $1000 on a wedding cake. If you place a large order of cupcakes with a cake tree for display - it costs about $150 for 100 (which is what I did). When you order their “wedding” package - the price raised to a $700 base for 100 cupcakes. The only other perk includes a “tasting.” Forget that. Our tasting was buying a few cupcakes in flavors we thought we’d like and picked three. It cost maybe $20. 

What these companies do is scummy and targets people who don’t have information about the event industry.

I will yell it from the rooftops until people realize there’s a better way.

[dailylgbtq]

It was really a transformative night, dude.

[assignedfaggatbirth]

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

[assignedfaggatbirth]

If this post gets 100 notes I’ll recreate the entire song through memes

[assignedfaggatbirth]

OK so I’ll do my best to get this done soonish–it may be a week or two, but I’m doing it

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

My masterpiece… is complete.

[chidi-anaqonye-deactivated20181]

op did not put in this much work for 160 notes

[doodleboots-deactivated20190129]

@musicalsandtrees

[scaldinghate]

I don’t know who to tag… This is a fuckign masterpiece

[instructor144]