Imenand Parker, True Necromancer for Hire

Blake Parker. Drummer for Broken Cities. Drummer/Vocalist for Battle of Serenity Valley, Drummer for Nick Z & The Zoomers, Guest Percussionist for Shenkar's Beard. Co-host of the Space Diamonds Podcast and aspiring Comic Book Writer, & 3.5 D&D Dungeon Master rolled into one. Madly in love my my fiancee Brie. Often I post/reblog things that are NSFW. Follow me on Twitter: @ImenandParker

[mainframe-art]

IDK WHY I DREW SISKO DOING THIS HE WOULD NEVER DO THIS BUT I COULDNT HELP MYSELF

because if you strain the ligaments in your neck enough, anyone can become a cardassian

[setheverman]

Are you scared about how many people on this website have dreams about you?

i create them

[imenandparker]

You create the dreams, or you create the people, Seth?

[ezrisdax-archive]

Images show us possibilities. A lot of times, fantasy is what gets us through to reality. - Mae Jemison

[thylaforever]

Mae Jemison was the first female African American astronaut.

[i-van-gough-to-shul]

She also went onto Guest star on TNG

[boophisburnhamae]

She was recruited to NASA by Nichelle

[lizardvvizard]

and that’s The Mood ®️

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Science!

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

[glumshoe]

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

[gemstone-gynoid]

you mean like

[ontologicalidiot-deactivated201]

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

[sindri42]

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

[solwardenclyffe]

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

[sindri42]

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

[lady-byleth]

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

[saccharinesatchel]

Elves are flat-earthers

[cheattoe]

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

[yourownpetard]

This post really was a rollercoaster.

[odinoco-deactivated20190531]

for elves it was a straight line

[sexh8r]

I couldn’t find a picture with enough hands

[satellitestarfire]

What about this one op?

[tomjacksonservo]

It’s really depressing how Labor Day has gone from “give laborers a day off” to “give white collar office workers and executives a day off but make retail laborers work so that executives can get a latte on their day off”

[shromo-deactivated20181202]

when the boss music slaps but you’re tryin not to die

[chicks2010]

[kibumsfreakk]

Hey. LIVING COSTS MONEY! How about giving more money to the companies that employ me and MAYBE I MIGHT BE OK

[nyangibun]

This is such a funny thing to me because in Thai culture, it’s completely normal to live with your parents when you’re an adult. In fact, most people live in their family home until they’re married ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thenutofroyalty]

Saaaame in Pakistan dude and being abroad for grad school is really fucking me up I am not built to be even slightly independent 😂

[beatrice-otter]

In Western culture (including America!) it was completely normal for people to live with their parents in adulthood–sometimes until they married, sometimes longer.  In America, that changed (for men) in the 1940s and 50s, when it was really really easy for an 18 year old to get a good job that paid more than enough to live a comfortable life on, or to afford college which would then practically guarantee you an even better-paying job.  Women joined the trend of moving out at 18 in the 1960s and 70s.

And now those jobs don’t exist, or are few and far between, and guess what!  People are living with their parents again.  But that 70-year span was just long enough that it fell out of common memory, and now people are seen as “failures” because the economics have changed.

[bogleech]

A very great deal of Western culture, ESPECIALLY America, is actually still based on a memory of the 40′s and 50′s as the baseline of normalcy despite them being a total fluke at the time. World War II and McCarthyism created a massive shift towards rabid patriotism, Christian fundamentalism and the ideal of the “nuclear family” that resembled nothing before it and we’re still recovering from as the majority of our most powerful politicians are old enough that this period of sudden fanaticism is their “nostalgic good old days” and the way they think things are “supposed to be.”

[heaven-nor-hell]

I love when these posts randomly become tiny history lessons, it soothes me

[riotsnotdiets]

[yeahwehadatime]

[revolutionarykoolaid]

reblog to save a life

[end0skeletal]

Derbidae with iridescence wings by melvynyeo

[asktheangels]

Lately I’ve been getting most of my pep talks from Mister Rogers.

[mintypineapple]

Great. Now I’m disappointing Mr. Rogers.

[maculategiraffe]

Mr. Rogers is not disappointed in you.  He’s proud of you for listening and thinking about what he said, and he hopes it plants a seed where sometimes maybe you notice yourself making an unhealthy choice and recognize it, because that’s the first step towards growth towards your best and healthiest self, which is a journey and a process, not an ideal state of which you are falling short.

Mr. Rogers loves you for just your being you.

[macklesufficient]

listen i kno we all have a giggle at people from ye olden times for believing in the four humors and bloodletting and shit like that but there are adults in this year of our lord 2018 who deadass believe there are Toxins in their body that can be released by drinking juice

[huntydraws]

We had to do Kinetic typography in class today. I chose a very important audio clip

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

[thedragonflywarrior]

This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.

[fightsinlipstick]

I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.

[ladyshinga]

May all your friends’ schedules sync up when you want to play D&D

[crap-userrname16]