ivy.

18

[incrtbsd]

Ranpo: Wow, Poe, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Poe: We literally slept together yesterday.

Ranpo: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

[incrtbsd]

Tachihara: Where are you going?

Teruko: To get ice cream or commit a felony! I’ll decide on the way there.

[incrtbsd]

*Dazai falls through ceiling and lands on his face, breaking a window*

Atsushi, not even turning around: Good morning, Dazai.

Dazai, getting up like nothing happened: Good morning.

[incrtbsd]

Tachihara, tossing trash into a bin: Yeet!

Tetcho: What's a 'yeet'?

Teruko: Oh you just say it whenever you throw something! It's fun!

*later that evening*

Tetcho, throwing food on the ground for some animals, grinning to himself: Yeet.

[incrtbsd]

Kunikida, watching the news: Some idiot tried fighting a squid at the aquarium.

Dazai, covered in ink: Well maybe the squid was being a dick.

[incrtbsd]

Yosano: I fucking hate Mori.

Kouyou: Watch your language, there are children in the house.

Yosano: My bad.

Yosano: I fucking hate *covers Kyouka's ears* mori

[incrtbsd]

Nikolai, knocking on Fyodor's door at 3 am sobbing: THE BUZZFEED TEST SAID YOU ONLY LOVE ME 42% IS IT TRUE?!

[incrtbsd]

Dazai: You have to apologize to Atsushi.

Akutagawa: Fine.

Akutagawa, to Atsushi: Unfuck you or whatever.

[incrtbsd]

Akutagawa: That’s it, I’m gonna take you out.

Atsushi: Yeah, let’s go for dinner.

Akutagawa: I meant that as a threat.

Atsushi: Great, see you at 8!

[incrtbsd]

Fukuzawa: Did you eat my powdered donuts?

Ranpo, with sugar all over his lap and mouth: No..

Fukuzawa: Then what's that?

Ranpo:

Ranpo: Cocaine.

[incrtbsd]

Dazai: What are you eating?

Chuuya: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

Dazai: I like you, don't I?

[incrtbsd]

Mushitaro, to Ranpo: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Ranpo, motioning to himself and Poe: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

[incrtbsd]

Fyodor: The power went out.

Nikolai: I got this! *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Fyodor:

Sigma:

Nikolai: I swallowed a glow stick!

Sigma, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU?!

[incrtbsd]

Dazai, admiring a sleeping Chuuya: You’re so cute.

Chuuya, sleepily: I could beat your ass.

Dazai, lovingly: I know.

[incrtbsd]

Nikolai: How many times do I have to apologize?

Sigma: ONCE!

Nikolai: No.

[incrtbsd]

Tetcho: The stars are pretty tonight.

Jouno, mumbling: You’re the best star.

Tetcho: What?

Jouno: I SAID I WANT TO HIT YOU WITH A CAR!

[incrtbsd]

Kenji: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated!

Dazai: Killed without hesitation.

Kenji: