@wafflehousecoffee absolute golden tags

shark vs the universe
art blog(derogatory)

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JVL

titsay
wallacepolsom
styofa doing anything

Love Begins
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dirt enthusiast
Today's Document
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
hello vonnie
cherry valley forever

ellievsbear

#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day
Show & Tell

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@insert-carmilla-quote-here
@wafflehousecoffee absolute golden tags
Stuff like this reminds me that not only are Elephants immensely intelligent and deeply social, they also generally consider humans to be legitimately “cute/adorable” in the same way we do for dogs or cats.
This playful elephant is likely acting accordingly.
Elephant scientist testing whether humans understand object permanence.
im riveted by this. this is the future of television.
this post has rendered my activity feed unusable on so many occasions but I can’t bring myself to delete it. Noodles…
not to sound like a medieval peasant but, cheese and bread. garlic and butter. a menagerie of spices. potatoes. that’s what life is all about right there.
Medieval peasants would not have had potatoes as the conquest of America wouldn’t have happened yet. Sit there and enjoy your turnips and artichokes.
we’re gonna be ok btw
it’s ok if you’re scared. or tired. or unsure. or one million billion other complicated emotions at once. but i’ve decided things are going to be ok anyway. and i will hold that belief close to my heart no matter how scared or tired or lonely or depressed or one million billion other things i am. i will hold onto that. and if you’re scared, you can hold onto me. we can carry each other through
Paleolithic hand stencils from the cave at Lascaux, France. 25-30,000 years old.
I know this post is from 2014 but this is literally the Cueva de las Manos, in Santa Cruz, Argentina, 13.000 to 9000 years ago.
As far as I can tell, there are no sources that talk about stenciled hands in Lascaux, except for… this post, in pinterest.
"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.
Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.
We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:
"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.
He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.
So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.
"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."
This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".
@rmilkies
One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.
One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.
My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."
This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.
My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.
This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy
why did you want colombia to win so bad if you’re not colombian? 😭
la copa del mundo belongs in latin america hope this helps! 🤗
funniest argentine election event is when every time there's news of like at least 10 people with arrest warrants getting caught just because they showed up to vote
criminals be like i WILL perform my civic duty 🫡🫡🫡
kids these days who are fans of fall out boy and can just read the lyrics on spotify or whatever. do you know how lucky you are. when i was a lad you listened to an illegally burnt cd, heard a nonsensical string of syllables, and listened to it 100 times until you thought you know what was said. and then you got ahold of an album sleeve with lyrics and read the lyrics. and realise you were absolutely nowhere close.
Did I watch this several times?
Yes.
Did I giggle every time?
Also yes.
This is a masterpiece. I don’t think you need to have even read or watched Pride and Prejudice to appreciate this, though of course if you actually know Pride and Prejudice this goes from funny to hysterical.
Una Mercedes Sosa de advertencia de la suerte para hoy
No, this is for you!
Source
A red-tailed black cockatoo (Calyptorhynchus banksii) in Perth, Western Australia
by John Anderson