al roker's sweet potato poon

your nintendo switch online plus expansion pack membership gives you access to wave six of the mario kart eight deluxe booster course pass dlc for the mario kart eight deluxe game for nintendo switch at no additional charge. a full version of the mario kart eight deluxe game for nintendo switch and a nintendo switch system are required to use dlc. sold separately.

[instantmonkeysonline]

i should post my cat on here more often

[instantmonkeysonline]

[beemovieerotica]

you put a dog on a diet and he'll start begging for plain ass vinegar like he's christ on the cross

[beemovieerotica]

ok my apologies, apparently it was a big deal that jesus did NOT beg for vinegar while on the cross. and this was like, religiously important.

anyway my dog is suffering more than christ

[necromancelena]

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

[basileater]

>10 hours ago

>deactivated

[agave]

[b0nkcreat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[b0nkcreat]

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

[b0nkcreat]

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

[cytherean-sunset]

[lurkiestvoid]

[b0nkcreat]

on this day, july 18th of 2026, i laid my dogass overheating constantly lagging reset addicted iphone xr with a battery health of 76% and a horribly cracked screen protector to rest. she had a clear case that turned smoker yellow from years of sun damage and was impervious to cleaning and i will not mourn the way she played music outside of my earbuds or refused to charge at all. goodnight you dumb motherfucker have fun at the verizon store

[instantmonkeysonline]

you need to keep one of these plugs in there so it'll be ready

and if that still doesn't work, there may be ways to stimulate it without sticking anything in the hole

[instantmonkeysonline]

[raccoonmilf]

Hello? TikTok????

[the-muppet-joker]

Hey I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent reason someone could be desperately searching for muppet hole. Muppet hole is a normal thing to want

[soreheadinamblemood]

[creekfiend]

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

[animperfectangelsblog]

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[hamptercatapult]

[pangur-and-grim]

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

[pangur-and-grim]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[kholdseid]

[sighinastorm]

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

[the-haiku-bot]

As dandelions

to sidewalks, so onions to

refrigerators.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

the evolution here is also a solid contender for meme of the year 2019

[homunculus-argument]

If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.

[terrie01]

The rats 100% think the businesses are being run for their benefit and worry about the humans being exploited.

[homunculus-argument]

A rat manager who is a rat and deals on their end of the deal is exhausted of having to explain over and over again that look, an average fully grown adult human being is like 200 times your weight, their hands are very fast and they can throw things better than you want to imagine. If one of them things didn't want you in their hair, you're not going to stay there for long. You'd be yote out the window in two seconds flat.

[suppermariobroth]

The message that appears when the player deletes all save data in WarioWare: Twisted.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Source: twitter.com user “Akfamilyhome”

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[quasi-normalcy]

Untold suffering of billions of people is the price that we pay to maintain the satanic fantasy that some people are better than others.

[didyougaming]

How excited are you for Gogurt Spaghetti?

Yum it's good

I don't believe in innovation or bettering humanity

Voting ended onJul 17

[twiststreet]