Late night żabka hot dogs hit different

I'm just vibing here. They/them,  PL

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[haystarlight]

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

[polarity-disturbed]

"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"

Seriously though he's right, stay hydrated

[cryoverkiltmilk]

"Fill up," he says.

[animentality]

[sanguinifex]

You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.

Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.

Kill the censor in your head.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

When we choose to avoid history because it's Problematic or Says Bad Things, we are choosing to divorce ourselves from understanding how we came from that time to this one, which makes it even more likely for the cycle to repeat, with no one but a few people with shelves of old books aware that it's happened before.

[swimmingblue]

and this shit's important. Media from the past tells us how people from the past acted and thought and behaved.

Plus, a lot of these media pieces were socially acceptable and/or progressive for their time. For example, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, while it contains a lot of words and ideas that are offensive now, was very progressive for its time. The book is a statement piece for how a young man who's grown up in a racist environment, with no words to explain himself other than racist and bigoted ones, decides that the whole system is shit and he's not going to follow those rules any more. So not reading or engaging with it because it uses the n-word a lot really misses the point.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Humans are like "let me hold the thing. Let me pick it up. It's cute and I want to hold it, I want to wrap my weird elongated front feet around it, I want to encircle it with my freakishly long, oddly flexible front toes. I HAVE to hold things I HAVE to or I'll die."

[elisabethdeep-blog]

I know normal people can just pass their bill over and around an object and know most things worth knowing about it, but humans don't have electroreceptors At All. They only have mechanoreceptors. Which are most concentrated in the aforementioned 'hands'... and in their mouths.

They do also have eyes, and their vision is actually pretty acute. But their optic and mechanic sensory inputs aren't integrated together like electro-mechanic sense is. So they have these two fairly sophisticated sensory complexes that Barely talk to each other.

No wonder they try to bring the two inputs together in their environment then; picking things up and turning them around allows them to apply both their mechanical and optical senses to the object. They're just trying to make up for a deficiency of neural organisation.

And like. I mentioned the other concentration of mechanoreceptors is in their mouth... So just be glad they mostly grow out of constantly wrapping their viscera-looking tongue around everything.

[parakeet]

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

[deathwarlock]

you got camouflaged dude. If you were frog prey...... hoooo boy

[mallowmaenad]

[redstonedust]

netizen is a really cute word for Person On The Internet im surprised i dont see it used in more english language stuff. lets all be netizens of tumblr together.

[masteraqua]

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

[masteraqua]

you know what i deserve this

[masteraqua]

a lot of mean things have been said about me on this post, but none of them hurt as much as this

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

This websites hatemail game is insane

[butchtoks]

[venusswasaboy]

I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.

[princesssokphanny]

A once-in-a-lifetime shot — the moon perfectly framed by a rainbow. Caught at just the right time. 🌈 🌕

[innerchildabortionclinic]

also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

[shithowdy]

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

[byjove]

Without fail, every time a woman is talking about how she does not want to have children and never wants to be pregnant and how medical professionals, romantic interests and family members keep trying to bulldoze her decision and keep expecting her to change her mind because motherhood is something that is expected of all women and it is abhorrent to think a woman could not desire it, a random mother spawns in the comments to be like “Well, actually, you never know! I didn’t want children and then I got pregnant and I realized I love being a mama and I have five little babies now! Could happen to you! 🥰”

Sister, keep that to yourself or make your own goddamn post, you are ignoring that woman’s central concern and belittling her, you don’t even think you’re doing it. Formerly childfree women who ended up having children and loving it are like detransitioners in the sense that there is nothing inherently wrong with changing your mind about having children or realizing you were mistaken about your gender identity but immediately weaponizing your indecision to tell people that the barriers to healthcare and the violations of their bodily autonomy and the way society ignores that person’s wishes is actually okay because you were wrong. Some people do know themselves.

[vrag-veshtica]

it also makes me doubt how happy they actually are with having the kids why do you feel the need to broadcast you've changed your mind and are happy now just be happy no need to be a missionary for making more babies those are not yours chill

[byjove]

We will never know because there is an extreme taboo against admitting you regret having children, especially for women to admit they regret having children since they’re repeatedly told by society that they should love being a mother. And it is sad, no child should ever have parents that regret them. That’s why I support people who are childfree or on the fence about having children to remain childfree. It is always better for you, the individual, to one day regret never having children than for you to have children and realize you never wanted them and now you and your child are both suffering as a result. I believe becoming a parent should be an opt in thing and not a societal expectation or a matter of reluctant acceptance, people who are becoming parents should enthusiastically want to be parents.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It gives very "are you sure you're gay? I thought I might be gay but then I fell in love with a man/woman and now we're happily heterosexually married and soooo happy, you just need to find the right partner!" vibes.

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?