[softkostyk]

not to wreak havoc but we’re four months away from canon jerejean

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[pukicho]

Invasive species versus a second, stronger invasive species

[doctorpotatomd]

Australia did this at one point, intentionally releasing cats into the bush in an attempt to control the invasive rabbit population. Now we have invasive feral cats as well as invasive rabbits👌

[pukicho]

A third, even stronger invasive species will surely do the trick

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

The invasive foxes aren't doing the trick

[charledcorn]

Wasn’t there a similar thing with the cane toads?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Don't get us started on the cane toads

[deadgenerations]

in more pleasant news: this year is seeing the biggest humpback migration in Australian history, bigger than it was PRE whaling. That's right, there are more humpbacks migrating off the coast of Australia than there were BEFORE industrial whaling started.

A huge, fat W for environmentalists and Greenies. what an achievement

[lumsel]

we did it! we saved the fucking whales!!!!

[the-tao-of-fandom]

These whales were hunted to 150 individuals. Now there are 50,000 of them

Once hunted almost to extinction, the population of humpback whales currently migrating down Australia's east coast has bounced back and is

Further info for those interested

[pnwnativeplants]

Environmental activism works!!! If they tell you its hopeless they're lying and/or selling some shit!!!

[traegorn]

[horce-divorce]

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

[posallys]

i'm literally begging people to relearn how to use earbuds and headphones. i don't wanna hear your fucking tiktok while im waiting for my flight.

[southbreak]

100% this.

[narrativerehearsal]

If someone sat next to you on the bus/in a coffee shop and sang bullshit in your ear all the way home/while you were trying to work you'd be rightfully pissed off.

If you're playing shit on your phone out loud you're just doing the technology equivalent of ranting in a stranger's ear. You're being an ass and you need to fucking stop.

[jaeausten]

Before I let you pass, I’ll give you a little advice. As courage, there are two more things you’ll need to complete your quest. Strength and magic…

[sneakyboymerlin]

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[json-derulo]

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

[json-derulo]

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

[json-derulo]

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

[json-derulo]

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

[json-derulo]

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

[rabdoidal]

no one from outside australia is going to post about it but!!!!! happy NAIDOC week to the longest enduring culture in the world, and fuck this chud racist government ✌️

[ozempicofficial]

[bitchthefuck1-deactivated202204]

"Kaz and Inej wouldn't get married" she's religious and he wants the tax incentives, what's not clicking

[evilvillain123456789]

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

[mtfoss]

Okay so normal rules then

[nealashitposts]

I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.

So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.

[hiveswap]

Heartbreaking: the worst type of person you know made an excellent point

[yb-cringe]

[bundibird]

I'm gonna be honest for a second. I cant believe people still care about Taylor swift.

[witha-boxofscraps]

This CANNOT be left in the tags you came with RECEIPTS

[bundibird]

Sorry, @akinari-kashihara , she invited who the fuck to her wedding??