Well Damn

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell the truth - Oscar Wilde

[lamine-19]

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[firebirdeternal]

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[billtraeumer]

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[johnnysilverhandssuitcasenuke]

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

I’m so much more than what I let people see, but oh well

[babushkaat]

[mrsdemie]

Alexa Demie by Raoúl Alejandre

[pansyfemme]

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

[lesbian-toddhoward]

tiktok teen lgbts would not survive in the 80s and 90s when lesbians called gay guys fags lovingly and gay guys would call us dykes lovingly

[lesbian-toddhoward]

now rebloggable. fuck with me

[yosaplyop-deactivated20230729]

Why the fish

[wizardgoblin]

The fish is what makes the post rebloggable

[theonlycabbage]

The fish is what makes this post fuckable

[mapswithoutwyoming]

happy flat fag friday

[bombsights]

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)

[wowwforever]

how could you post all this and not include that Matt Hilton (bee guy) got a baseball card out of this event

[thecollectibles]

Hunter by sungmoo heo

[homunculus-argument]

Herding sheep, looking after kids, and playing healer in videogames: every day you're surprised of the sheer innovative genius of how they'll find the most inconvenient goddamn places just outside your reach to get hurt or put themselves in lethal danger.

[drafty-castle]

Isn’t this sheep in real life?

[homunculus-argument]

Children in real life also.

[homunculus-argument]

It. It literally did. That was literally precisely the point.

I have no idea how the hell I could possibly express myself more clearly.

[flickering-leaves]

The humble Oxford comma

[homunculus-argument]

IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE.

[mylordshesacactus]

#you can understand op by using your brain

[sweetoothgirl]

Black Sesame Milk

[prrb]

[sweetoothgirl]

Why is this back omfg