A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

Dedicated to all things Star Wars Requests are -OPEN-

[cienie-isengardu]

[C-3PO]’d only been trying to make a small talk, and certainly it wasn’t his fault that he mistook the Lord of the Sith for a new model of Guard Droid. He was really only trying to pay a compliment […].

[cosmic-anomaly-deactivated20181]

can you imagine if the droid you built with your own two hands walked up to you after decades of being lost, winding up in the hands of the empire’s most outspoken objectors and called you, a lord of the sith, a trashy guard droid

[radioactivepeasant]

You know what I want? I want an au where Owen and Beru survive the burning of the homestead and decide “there’s pretty much nothing for us here, no way we’d be able to start over at this rate” and head out with Luke.

An au where Owen quietly fumes even while dropping a blanket over Leia’s shoulders because she’s a kid! They’re both kids! He knows life is hard – it’s always been hard on his family – but it shouldn’t be like this!

An au where Owen looks up at the snub fighters in the hangar and picks up a toolkit without being asked. Where he looks at Biggs, getting ready to take off, sets his jaw, and says “Darklighter, you bring my boy back in one piece, you hear?” Even though he knows there’s no guarantee of that.

An au where Beru finds herself somewhere between team mom and good luck symbol of Rogue Squadron. They all call her Aunt Beru (except Hobbie, who accidentally called her “mom” once and couldn’t look her in the eye for two days).

Where Beru has Rules that she makes the Rogues recite whenever they go anywhere (based on my sweet godmother’s Life Rules she used to make my cousins repeat) 1. You are not invincible 2. Yes, you can bleed 3. YOU ARE FLAMMABLE

Where they don’t always get to be on the same base as Luke, but keep in contact as much as possible. And Owen ends up inadvertently becoming the Grumpy Cowboy Uncle for most of the mechanics while Beru sometimes ends up on the field doing a little gunslinging.

And after Bespin, they see red. “You mean to tell me,” Owen hisses so that only Luke and Beru can hear, “That all this time we thought he was dead, he was out there playing attack dog for the only Hutt in the galaxy that walks on two legs? And then he went and cut your hand off?! I’d give him a piece of my mind if he weren’t all homicidal-like.”

“I’d give him a piece of my mind regardless of him being all homicidal-like,” Beru snaps, “And I bet he would choke on it!”

Just…rebel outlaw Beru and Owen, please

[miriannemiri]

Oh, yes, please.

And Owen berating Obi-Wan’s ghost for all the nonsense he put Luke through by lying to him.  (Possibly without being able to see him at all, just Luke having given away that he’s present.  Owen is observant and notices–and figures out approximately where to aim his lecture, too.)

When the Rebellion needs information/slash contacts on an Outer Rim world because a mission has gone off the rails (particularly Rogue Squadron), Owen and Beru find contacts through the network of people helping slaves escape their masters.

Owen applying his good, farm-born common sense to some of the more ridiculous antics some of the wilder Rebels come up with.  Sometimes they listen.  Sometimes they don’t.  (Rogue Squadron has several repeat offenders.)

[radioactivepeasant]

Is Janson one of the repeat offenders? It’s Janson, isn’t it?

I’m just picturing some incident similar to the kinds my cousins used to get up to (the reasons Godmama had those rules) like Owen: “Let me get this straight: you stuck a packing crate to a swoop bike with silver space tape.”

Wes: “Yep.”

Owen: “And you put Wedge in the box.”

Wes: “As much his idea as mine, yes.”

Owen: “Then you got on the swoop and put it at the top of a hill. And pushed it off?!”

Wes: “….if I say no, will you still be mad?”

Owen: *deep breath* “Son, you got some thrill issues.”

[goodisnotsoft]

But…what about bamf Owen and Beru moments that are the reason why they’re called the cowboy couple because they grew up in a planet with TWO METER LONG VERMIN (and i can’t write to save my life ugggggh)

[culturevulture73]

Well, I need some Han and Owen trying to out grump each other, frankly. And insisting they can fix every problem with silver space tape and welding.  “It’s perfectly good, just beat the dents out and solder it back on!”

Beru conspiring with Chewie to make sure Han ends up with…whatever Skywalker twin you like. 

Beru was the one who really guilted Han into coming back at Yavin. After Luke and Leia (radio show) tell him off, it’s Beru who just looks at him…

Of course, Beru and Owen are part of the rescue effort of Han…because y’know, taking out a Hutt? 

[meraquaman-deactivated20181117]

the clone wars // star wars rebels

[hvnleia]

Carrie Fisher tells what is quite possibly the best story about the filming of Star Wars. (x)

[skylersolo]

Rian responds to cute Porg art on twitter 😚😚😚😚😚😏

[lesbianrey]

@gaymaul do you think anakin will save us

[gaymaul-archive]

yes i do, here’s my forecast:

[browsedankmemes]

[fatally-procrastinating-deactiv]

I really love the timing of Kylo Ren’s outbursts. They don’t come when things go wrong. Most of the time, he maintains a rather calm demeanor. At one point, he even taunts General Hux that a clone army would be better. His outbursts happen when he gives into his own weakness. 

BB-8 escapes Jakku. He doesn’t bring out his saber until the messenger reveals that it was Finn who helped the droid. FN-1287. The same stormtrooper who he saw in the village. The stormtrooper who Kylo knew wasn’t behaving the way he was supposed to. The stormtrooper he could’ve had killed or sent away or done a number of things to. But instead, he let his suspicions go and gave FN-1287 another chance under Captain Phasma. 

Rey escapes her imprisonment. He knows it’s entirely his fault. Leaving a single stormtrooper to guard over someone strong in the Force? He could’ve knocked her out, done something to her legs so she couldn’t have moved, left droids to torture the information out of her. But he left her as ‘his guest.’ Restrained but unharmed with someone nearby to see to help/guard/move her in case something went wrong. 

He doesn’t lash out because he’s angry at others. He lashes out because he’s angry at himself. Because he failed. Because he was weak. Again. Because, despite his desperation to be like Darth Vader, he is still being swayed by the light within himself. And it’s breaking him apart. 

[viperofsand]

#this is a crucial detail which as far as I can tell almost no one has picked up on#people are all ‘oh kylo is a whiny baby who throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way’#no#he throws tantrums when he realizes that his light side has once again gotten the better of him#he hates the light in himself so much it’s amazing#I am both fascinated and terrified to finally learn what the fuck snoke actually told him/did to him#because damn (via hausofodin)

[pipistrellus]

my favorite part in attack of the clones is when obi-wan just fucks off to play space nancy drew on Clone Rain Planet with the alarming giraffe-necked aliens and swans in like “HELLO IT’S ME, the jedi who definitely… … was here before and probably, uh, spoke to you, and stuff” and theyre like “ah you are here for the order” and hes like “beg pardon” and theyre like “the order of millions of identical human men?” and hes like “RIGHT YES. ABSOLUTELY I AM HERE FOR THE ORDER OF MILLIONS OF IDENTICAL HUMAN MEN”

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

 and obi-wan’s like “shit man you’re so right" 

[kinky-space-nerd]

There literally isn’t a frame of this scene where Obi-Wan doesn’t look confused as hell

[gayplanets]

[dubiousculturalartifact]

okay my favourite part of this scene is there is NO WAY that Poe could have heard Finn over the engine noise, so either these guys are just that drift-compatible that they were both like “WOOO’ at the same time, or Finn was like ‘listen I gotta use my latent force powers to communicate for the first time and SEND A MESSAGE TO MY HOT PILOT MAN THAT I THINK HIS FLYING SKILLS ARE NIFTY’

i know i know ThatsNotHowTheForceWorks.gif but let me have this

[deputychairman]

This is ExactlyHowTheForceWorks.gif I mean what’s the POINT of the Force if it can’t help you get laid

[starwarsfilms]

Oscar Isaac on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

[jamesrhodey-deactivated20171030]

— Madeline Miller

[earlgreytea-for-me]

au where padme lives and raises her two children thinking that anakin died on mustafar and works behind the scenes in the rebellion

and anakin/vader thinks that he killed padme

and they both think the other is dead and vader hates the shadowy leader of the rebellion and padme hates the emperor’s black-suited attack dog

i just have a lot of ideas about this idk

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

hey howdy hey here’s a link

[motheatenscarf]

Sith aesthetics more like 

“Peace is a lie… there is only fashion.”

[notyourplayground]

Well, obviously I didn’t swear allegiance to the dark energy of the universe for limitless power to wear beige.

[flaminganakin-deactivated201812]

the limitations of the Force often depends on the writer, but I've always wondered: Could Qui-Gon have used the Force to deactivate their slave chips?

I honestly don’t know, I’ve wondered this too. Maybe if he had the time to sit down and figure it out…?

[rocket-sith]

My headcanon for this is that yeah, it could be done in theory, but it was too risky to try it. One false move and the thing would detonate, so unless a Force users also had extensive knowledge of how to disarm bombs, it could go terribly, terribly wrong.

[darthflamingo]

Okay but I am suddenly seeing Anakin non-chalantly, yet expertly, disarming that first bomb on Kiros is in a different light.

[storm3326]

toddler luke says hi to everyone he meets

[anakinsrightarm]

“Ani, why did you get 37 sandwiches.”

“I don’t know?!! Aren’t pregnant women supposed to be hungry?! I didn’t know how many you wanted!”

“So… You got 37 of them?”

“…yes?”

*face palm*

[forcearama]

OMG this is canon.

[forcearama]

I’m bringing this post back because it clearly deserves to be reblogged again. 

ANAKIN ABSOLUTELY DID THIS. 

Also I love that Anakin ate TEN SANDWICHES (totally believable; that guy probably eats a zillion calories a day what with the Chosen One-ing and the Force Jumps, etc) and that Padme ate less than half that many possibly even while pregnant with twins. 

THE SANDWICHES ARE SO HUGE???? LOOK AT THEM. Anakin: WHY. WHY WOULD YOU BUY 37 OF THESE. 

[markantonys]

ok i have to reblog this again because i just realized something. all the comments on this are presuming that anakin bought the sandwiches, but hear me out: it was actually PADME who bought the sandwiches (because let’s be real, padme is a wealthy senator sugar mama and anakin has no income whatsoever bc i’m 99% sure jedi don’t get paid, if anyone’s going to be buying 37 sandwiches it’d be padme)

it’s the first time they’re seeing each other since they got married, padme’s not really sure of anakin’s Routines And Habits yet but he commed her to say he’d be home for dinner and now padme is fretting because she’s like “what does he like to eat?? we’ve already been married for a month and i don’t know what his favorite foods are i’m a terrible wife why don’t i know what he’d like for dinner what am i gonna DO” eventually she decides sandwiches seem like a safe bet, but then she’s thinking “wait a second, he’s coming home from war he’s probably just been eating ration bars all month he must be so hungry and in need of some good solid food AND he’s a jedi, he probably burns a million calories a day”

after a brief interlude in which padme daydreams about anakin working out and burning all those calories, she sends c3po to her favorite sandwich place on coruscant and tells him to get “a lot” of sandwiches. c3po’s in a tizzy because those instructions are Not Specific Enough Mistress Padme and he has no idea how many “a lot” is, so he panics and gets 40 except the takeout bags are overflowing and when someone bumps into c3po on his way home 3 of the sandwiches fall off the top and get trampled by other pedestrians.

so he comes home with 37 sandwiches and padme’s like “37??!!!?!! c3po that is way too many what were you THINKING” and c3po’s upset because he’s only been with padme for a month at this point and he’s afraid she’ll get rid of him since he messed up. he’s so upset about this, in fact, that padme ends up feeling guilty and assuring him he did a great job, anakin’s probably really hungry and might need all 37 sandwiches for all they know. hence she serves all 37 of them for dinner because she doesn’t want to hurt c3po’s feelings by only putting out a couple of them, and anakin’s truly alarmed by how many sandwiches there are but he doesn’t want to hurt padme’s feelings so he courageously makes his way through 10 of them before deciding he might really explode if he eats another one. padme only wanted 1 or 2 but she goes for 4 because she doesn’t want to look like an idiot in front of anakin for buying 37 sandwiches and only eating one. and that is the story of how sandwiches became eternally banned from the skywalker-amidala household