Cosimo Galluzzi
shark vs the universe
Andulka
trying on a metaphor
KIROKAZE
Peter Solarz
d e v o n
Product Placement
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
wallacepolsom
No title available
JBB: An Artblog!
JVL
pixel skylines
Keni
ellievsbear
Love Begins
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Vietnam
seen from United States
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seen from Ireland
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@joking-mr-feynman
Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god
Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES
customers the same in all universes
this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here
This morning my child (soon to be 3) requested that I make him toast "with creamy peanut butter on the bottom and crunchy peanut butter on the top."
ME: You mean put peanut butter on both sides?
HIM: Yes.
ME, getting into "sometimes kids have to experience the natural consequences of their actions" parenting mode: Okay, I'll do it, but you know that's gonna be really messy, right?
He insisted, and then when it was, indeed, really messy, he sobbed inconsolably on the floor. I offered to make him regular toast, or a sandwich of peanut butter toast, or a triple-decker tower of toast slices, or any other iteration of peanut butter and toast, but nothing made it better. His vision had not come to fruition. He was crushed.
His dad was in a Zoom meeting upstairs—we're all home because it's a snow day—and came down to find out what terrible ill had befallen us to cause so much wailing.
"Oh," he said. "I see. You wanted non-Euclidean geometry. Hypertoast."
in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives
HAPPY TEN YEARS OF LOVE RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
ten years of letting the world come at you, love
ten years of your veins being empty of dust
ten years of knowing you bought your shoes from Oxfam
ten years of your hair looking better black
ten years of crying to that painted sky
ten years of a broken pot can still hold water
ten years of staring at the moon
ten years of it starting off like a pinprick, a trick of the light oil slick
ten years of showing the world we exist
ten years of what's to come, what's to come...
there are a few people actually whose blogs just look like this to me and i hope they know i still love them
Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you
As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me
(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)
Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.
[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]
I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons
09/04/2026 • every time @softinvasions writes a villanelle about how sonnets suck i write another suckful sonnet*. metrical malpractice!
*sonnets do not even have to have 14 lines if you are pure of heart and sonnetpilled enough
im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams
This week im seeing colors on heat maps I’ve never even considered before
Evil fuck you purple heat storm over France
To the people who might go "yeah well that's a regular summer in [insert country or region]", I would like to point out the obvious that France (and other European countries curently suffering) is not these countries used to such heat for such mong periods of time.
Yes, it is finally summer, and yes, it's supposed to be hot too here. Except our hot temperatures are still way below that. The average temperatures at that period between 1991-2020 are 15-20°C below what we're experiencing. It's 41°C in Paris, Bordeaux, Toulouse, when it should be about 25, 42°C in Rennes when it should be 22.
On Tuesday 23rd, France was hotter than 99% of the planet. Only some specific zones in the Sahara, Arabian, and American deserts were hotter.
In the night between Monday and Tuesday, temperatures only came back down to between 21 and 28 degrees. Those are supposed to be the temps at day.
About A/C: it's true, most of the country doesn't have it. Some public transportation, supermarkets, restaurants have it, and some individual houses too. But that's about it. Because we didn't really need it until a few years ago, and it's both hard and expensive to get it installed, especially in older buildings like those in Paris. But also, you've got to understand that if A/C makes your life easier inside, it considerably worsens things outside. The heat generates by A/C would up the termps a few degrees more, and would not fix the issue of going outside.
Yeah one of the major issues Europe faces with the heat waves is that for the overwhelming majority of our history, our main weather problem was "It's too cold". So we've built buildings that RETAIN HEAT.
And now those buildings are doing exactly that.
And as prev said, A/C doesn't magically create cold. It takes the heat and moves it outside. You know, the outside that's already hot as fuck.
hearing someone you love laugh is? easily one of the best things on earth
i have tested positive for tzatziki
fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed
i will give the horse that kills me no such luxury
interesting dates on this post
those aren’t dates, they are explicitly stated to be cranberries
those aren’t dates, they
are explicitly stated
to be cranberries
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
genuinely wheezing laughing at this description of dicken's awful pet with lead poisoning
important thing i forgot to mention: i looked this up bc adam read a thing about how dicken's pet was an inspiration for poe's "the raven" and we were like "well thats not true" but now that ive looked it up, i believe it
Yep! Dickens cited Grip as inspiration for the talking raven in his novel Barnaby Rudge, and Poe was one of its earliest critics (literary critic here being a career title, poe quite liked the work), and he spent time in his review discussing how raven could have been utilized to a stronger effect. Some time later, he used that concept in The Raven.
Dickens was distraught at Grip's passing and had him preserved. He currently resides in the US, in the Free Library of Philadelphia's rare books archive in Pennsylvania and can be visited with appointment.
@hydrofelicity Good stranger, pray do not hide this gem amongst the tags
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
