Jui’s Reblog Blog

Where I reblog shit

[penandinkprincess]

usual massage therapist wasn't available so i tried out a new person, and friends i think i have been treated by. a witch.

"do you get ringing in your ears sometimes?" "y-yeah. sometimes." "yeah, i would have been surprised if you didn't. the [muscle i do not remember the name of] here is like touching a guitar string."

"have you ever experienced whiplash? not recently, but in the past?" me, forgot about it since it was literal years ago and thus didn't mention it on my intake form: "...yes?" "okay, i thought so."

"are you a side sleeper?" "yes, i am" "on your right side?" "yes" "you really curl up, too, huh?" "y-yes."

me beneath the relaxation the whole time:

[penandinkprincess]

settling down to to go to sleep and haunted by the fact that massage witch already knows how i'm going to be laying

[death-420]

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

[raeuberkotzenrotz]

I gotchu

[death-420]

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

[doomstar]

You literally cannot find this type of community interaction on twitter or instagram or any other app. Look at the support, the gratitude, the absolutely incomprehensible shared knowledge of this most cursed, most rare gif. 

Truly this is beauty.

[robotslenderman]

Source

[tributary]

teetotailer

[judygemstone]

first incidence of good writing advice i've seen in 10+ years on this platform and it's in the notes of a mustelid wreaking absolute havoc in a german grocery store

[scavengedluxury]

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

"Ja, das bin ich. Sie fragen sich wahrscheinlich, wie ich hierher gekommen bin".

[squeakitties]

[necromosss]

As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement

My condolences

[commodore-64]

put that back

[the-davest-of-uncles]

National Lampoon, October 1985

[cafe-pothos]

ALSO

yes they're kind of similar to Bofurin and the Makochi bc they protect their citizens but the dynamic is very different????? The way the adults of Bankoku-gai rely on the Red Chanpuru differs so much from the way Bofurin may physically protect Makochi. Bofurin feels like a friendly group of neighbourhood boys who help out the elderly while still being treated as kids (referring to that one chapter in which the shop owners literally say the Bofurin boys are like sons to them) and they get treated to food and snacks and get patted on the back like you'd do to a boy who helped you carry groceries. Meanwhile the Red Chanpuru kids have to be mature and act as leaders, act as mediators and even take care of the younger children, something that, in Makochi, is being handled by adults.

[stuft]

[naamahdarling]

Even better, the comments to this Twitter post were an absolute FIRESTORM of mostly dudes explaining to her that dials can’t only have 2 positions (not true) and that it wasn’t a very good piece (not true) that she was being disrespectful to her teacher (don’t care) and that it was a sign of her stupidity/rabid feminism/intellectual laziness/misandry/etc. that she couldn’t see any “middle ground.” It became, in its way, a performance piece. I was absolutely mesmerised, even as I wished I could cock-punch people through the internet.

[warpcoreejector]

Personally I hope that knob goes to 11 and stays there.

[dragonheartftherpays]

“Dials can’t have only 2 positions” is also missing the point. Even if it doesn’t have only 2 positions, the point stands that getting less of/farther away from “raging feminist” requires getting more of/closer to “complicit in my own dehumanization.” You should always be at 0% having to be complicit in your own dehumanization.

[bebs-art-gallery]

“BACK WHEN TIME DIDN’T MATTER” — AN OIL PAINTING BY RIONA

[dykescully]

OIL PAINTING?

[depsidase]

[anarchopuppy]

#It is so fucking hard to find content about Keith Porter that's actually about him #instead of playing a game of 'who gets the most attention' between people who were murdered #Keith you deserve to be actually remembered for who you were not just used as a rhetorical tool to make a point

[memesandmylife]

hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard

i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.

happy cheffin! :)

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don't want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:

"Cream sauce base" = make a roux, add milk according to how much cream sauce base you're supposed to have (ex: 4 oz cream sauce base = 4 oz milk)

"1 packet stock concentrate" = either one tablespoon Better than Bullion or, if you want to be really accurate, Savory Choice Broth Concentrate packets are available on Amazon and allegedly that's what they use

"Italian Heat Spice"/"Blackening Spice"/"Fry Seasoning"/etc.: I promise you someone on Reddit has figured out what spices they use and in what proportions for each mix, if it's not just a straight up branded mix (like McCormick Grill Mates Brown Sugar Bourbon spice mix)

"Roasted Garlic Herb Butter" (and other compound butters, like truffle butter) = they're literally Epicurean branded butters, they do not hide this, you can buy them online

"Sweet Soy Glaze"/"Ponzu sauce"/"Hoisin sauce" = literally Kikkoman brand condiments: they don't hide that, either

"Sweet Thai chili sauce" = any sweet Thai chili sauce from the grocery store will do. We use Blue Dragon or Taste of Thai because that's what we can get in our grocery store.

[unpretty]

blue apron also has recipes on their website! i use it regularly to steal ideas when meal planning for the week.

[rakka091]

[nanakorobiyaokii]

一 𝖶𝖡𝖪: 189 • 204 • 205 一

[love-too]

[charlesoberonn]

Absolutely.

[ifeelsoalpha]

[love-too]

Always thinking about them

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[boss-of-armadildos]

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

[happyheidi]

𝖮𝗂𝗅 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗒 𝖨𝗏𝖺𝗇𝖺 𝖹̌𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖼́ ( 𝖻. 𝗂𝗇 𝟣𝟫𝟩𝟫 𝗂𝗇 𝖲𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗃𝖾𝗏𝗈)

[un-monstre]

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

[un-monstre]

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

[jimmythejiver]

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

[cyber-corp]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[cyber-corp]

i know what i’m doing dw

[cyber-corp]

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

[cyber-corp]

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

[cyber-corp]

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

[cyber-corp]

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

[pluto-officially]

You're failing.

[cyber-corp]

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

[communist-mannyfesto]

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

[cyber-corp]

?????

[enigma-system03]

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

[cyber-corp]

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

[cyber-corp]

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

[cyber-corp]

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

[legionoftuna]

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

[cyber-corp]

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

[cyber-corp]

wrong.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

[cyber-corp]

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

[taco-bee]

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

[cyber-corp]

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

[boxxed-juice]

ares is the god of war, not kratos

[cyber-corp]

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

[ironwoman359]

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

[bingle-official]

op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao

[reekill-playlists]

Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book

[reekill-playlists]

hey is this still post of the year or

[cyber-corp]

NO

[zelly-fangirl]

how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?

[cyber-corp]

I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK

[beehivemind200]

And the post of the year goes to.....

YOU

[cyber-corp]

here is me holding my trophy for tumblr post of the year. i'd like to thank no one in particular but i would like to unthank everyone who decided this one in particular was post of the year. i will never let this down ever