i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.
èżœæ¶ăźç ŽçïœA Piece Of Broken Recollectionïœ
*FLASH WARNING AT 35 SECONDS UNTIL END OF CLIP!!*
Today is the 30th anniversary of Voyage Sans Retour. Released June 9th, 1996 on Manaâs very own record label Midi:Nette. It was their second album and first full album with Gackt!
I like bats and this pic popped up on my Pinterest feed and I immediately thought "mamiya!!!" so here he is. he makes me rage and cry like a toxic ex. oh mamiya if only you got justice and a happy ending......
pairing: student! fem reader x student! jeon jungkook
summary: when you finally get your crushâs number, you expect the start of an epic love storyâ not a random guy making fun of you because he thinks the guy youâve been obsessed with for the last six months gave you a fake number. Jeon Jungkook, the one who replies, finds it entertaining and helps you chase the guy⊠at least until he finds out that the person heâs been helping date another guy is you, the girl heâs been obsessed with for the last two years.
genre/warning: this is a smau fic!! with narration included in some chapter but itâs mostly messages/tweets. very unfunny jokes. this is mostly crack/fluff.
authors note: chapter so long i couldnât put my dividers đđ the tweets have to be read from bottom to top btw okay bye<33 enjoy this is a mess and i had to delete a lot of things but i couldnât make it shorter iâm sorry đđ it would be better if u open the pics to read it>_<
chapter index | previous â next
ââââââââââ
â chapter seven: holy crash-out!
ââââââââââ
messy ass chapter but life is like that we know. i might forgotten to add some people im sorry guys. đđ
‷ Eventually you came to the realization that, if Namjoon was the king of the underground, you were as close as he would ever get to a queen.
â Couple: Namjoon x Reader | Boxer!AU and Gang!AU
â Filed under: smut, minor angst
â Look out for: violence, light daddy kink
â Words: 13,411
Authorâs Note: guess whoâs back, back again⊠guess who just edited this fic into the seven heavens and added about 6k more? das right
âCome on, (y/n), you wonât regret it!â
Hovering like a feather over your head, Yoongiâs proposal gradually fell into your consciousness. Quicker than you expected, the shadow of a frown was casted over your features and you found yourself rolling your eyes at his words, frustrated at his mindless insistence â what was that? The seventh or eighth attempt at convincing you throughout the last hour? Your patience was running thin.
Falling from in between your lips like poison, the bitterness of your response was enough for his mocking smile to wilther into seriousness, âHow many times do I have to tell you?â you asked him, folding a particular shirt with more brutality than humanly necessary. The laundry room was already claustrophobic as it was, you did not need your friend pushing you against a corner and miserably failing to reach his goal. Â âI donât want to get involved in your illicit practices, Yoongi.â
An ironical chuckle exploded on his lips as your answer found him, his sentence already hanging at the tip of his roseate tongue, âDo you prefer to spend your sad Friday night being alone in your sad, lonely house?â he questioned, sarcastic. You nodded instantaneously, making him look you up and down â underneath the cool, flickering luminescence of the laundry room, his hesitant eyes scrutinized your rash, stubborn expression with care. âFolding clothes? Really?â
Your confirmation came as you folded the last piece of clothing â an orange shirt you swore you had thrown out already â and placed it on the large basket by your side, âReally,â you told him, picking the object up and walking towards the open door. You could no longer endure neither the smell of lavender detergent, nor the irritating irony from your companionâs part. Yoongi was your best friend, fair enough, but it was at times like those that you regretted one day giving him the keys to your small apartment. âWhy do you care, anyways?â
Synopsis: You and Felix are contestants in a social experiment where singles meet and date in private pods, allowing them to communicate without seeing each other. (18,5k words)
Author's note: Sorry for the late post but it's here and fair warning, it's getting spicy y'all. As always, hope you enjoy itâŁïž
Felix has never been this nervous in his entire life. Not during culinary competitions.
Not even when he proposed to you. Yet somehow, standing here now in front of the sliding doors leading to the reveal hallway feels infinitely more terrifying.
Felix swallows hard and shifts his weight slightly, trying not to bounce nervously in place. He wonders what youâre doing right now. If youâre nervous too. If youâre pacing the room or fixing your dress for countless of time like he does. Because in a few seconds, everything is going to change. Because after days of imagining your face and your eyes and the way your lips curve when you smileâ He finally gets to see it for real.
Felix closes his eyes briefly, inhaling deeply. Then exhales. Again. And again. The nerves twisting through him right now arenât about whether he still wants this. He wants this more than anything. Itâs the opposite that scares him.
What if you look at him and something shifts? What if he doesnât fit the version of him you created in your head? The thought unsettles him because no matter how emotionally connected you two are, physical attraction still exists in the real world outside the pods.
All of a sudden, Felix feels painfully aware of every tiny insecurity he normally ignores. Does his hair look okay? Should heâve picked a different suit? What if you think heâs ugly? What ifâ
The producerâs voice cuts through his spiraling. âReady, Felix?â
He laughs softly under his breath because heâs not ready. Not entirely. But still, he nods. Because no amount of fear could possibly make him turn around now. Not when itâs you waiting on the other side.
-
FELIX: I genuinely canât believe this experiment worked. Like⊠of all places to find my future wife? Behind a wall on reality television? [laughs] But somehow it happened. And I think thatâs what makes this moment feel so overwhelming. Because now itâs real and Iâd be lying if I said I wasnât scared about meeting face-to-face for the first time. [nervously chuckles] What if I donât fit her expectations? [thinly smiles]
-
You think this might be the most nervous youâve ever been in your entire life. You stand directly in front of the sliding doors leading to the reveal hallway, trying very hard to keep yourself composed. Trying and failing, more like. Because your palms are sweating so badly you keep wiping them against your dress every few seconds only for them to immediately become damp again.
âOh my god,â you whisper under your breath. Your chest rises as you inhale deeply through your nose, forcing yourself to breathe slower.
Youâre okay. Youâre fine. This is Felix. The same Felix who makes you laugh until your cheeks hurt. The same Felix who listens carefully when you talk about painful things. The same Felix who promised to love you unconditionally through a glowing wall while your entire heart shook in your chest.
In the pods, you only had feelings. Voices. Emotional connection. Out here, reality exists again and despite trying to calm yourself down, your thoughts keep spiraling anyway. What if he looks at you and hesitates? What if you disappoint him? What if he expected someone prettier, more elegantâ
âNope,â you mutter quickly to yourself, cutting the thought off before it can claw at you.
You straighten your shoulders slightly and inhale again. Because no matter how scared you are, one thing remains painfully true beneath all the panic: You want him.
Maybe thatâs why this feels so overwhelming because Felix somehow slipped past every defense you built around yourself over the years without even trying. A man youâve never seen before somehow became one of the safest places youâve ever known.
Then suddenly, a mechanical sound echoes through the hallway. The doors begin sliding open and your entire world changes with them.
-
YOU: I still canât believe this worked [softly laughs] Like genuinely⊠I came here thinking this whole thing was a bust already. [laughs] and now somehow, I found someone who aligns with me so naturally it scares me. Felix feels⊠[softly smiles] Like a star that just fell right onto my lap.
-
Felix inhales deeply the second the doors begin sliding open and there you are, standing at the other end of the hallway like something pulled straight out of a dream heâs been building in his head for days.
For one suspended moment, the entire world goes quiet. Felix just stares because somehow, youâre even more beautiful than anything he imagined. Soft lights glow around you while your eyes immediately find his, widening slightly before your entire face breaks into the brightest smile heâs ever seen. And instantly, his own lips curve upward so hard his cheeks ache.
Felix doesnât hesitate. He half-jogs down the hallway toward you before you can even properly start walking his way, laughter bubbling out of him from pure disbelief and happiness.
Youâre laughing too now, nervous and overwhelmed while continuing to mutter soft, breathless little oh my gods under your breath as he gets closer and closer.
The second he reaches you, his arms wrap around you instantly, pulling you flush against him like heâs been waiting forever to do it. And whoaâ Youâre real.
Before he can even process the feeling fully, Felix instinctively leans in and kisses you. Just this overwhelming pull dragging him straight to you the second he touches you. The kiss lands a little stiff at first from nerves, then soften and deepens almost immediately beneath shared relief and disbelief and emotion overflowing too fast to contain properly.
And god, itâs everything he hoped it would be. More, actually. Kissing you feels strangely familiar like finding something he didnât realize heâd been missing.
When Felix finally pulls back, breathless and smiling, his arms stay tightly around your waist while yours loop instinctively around his shoulders, holding him just as close. You feel exactly the way he imagined it would feel. Exactly the way he wanted it to feel.
Felix presses his mouth close to your ear, overwhelmed emotion making his voice smaller than usual. âYou feel like a dream to me.â
A soft laugh escapes you immediately against the crook of his neck, warm breath brushes the skin there.
He leans in closer, lips grazing your ears as he whispers again, âIâm never going to let you go.â
Your arms tighten slightly around him at that and then softly, with that smile still lingering in your voice, your murmur, âI hope not.â
Slowly, reluctantly, the two of you pull back just enough to properly look at each other. Your hands slide down naturally until your fingers lace together between you.
Felix swears he could stare at you forever. Because youâre looking at him the exact same way heâs looking at you â bright-eyed and stunned and full of disbelief that this person is finally real.
You blink at him slowly before your free hand lifts carefully toward his face. Your fingertips brush lightly against his jaw, almost hesitant. Like youâre still making sure he exists.
âDid you just walk out of a fairytale?â you ask, voice so low itâs almost a whisper.
Felix not sure if he heard you right. âMmh?â
âYou literally look like a prince charming,â you answer softly.
Felix laughs quietly, cheeks immediately warming. His hands lift to cup your face gently between them before he leans down and kisses you again. This one slower and full of intention. Everything unspoken spills into it naturally â the pod conversations, the vulnerability, the fear, the certainty, the impossible feeling of finding each other through a wall.
When Felix pulls away this time, his forehead rests lightly against yours while he breathes softly through a smile. âI love you.â
The words leave him effortlessly because heâs been planning on saying it to you because it only feels right to him to do it in person. Yet he canât deny that saying those words out loud terrifies him a little.
Your expression softens immediately into something unbearably tender. âI love you too.â
The answer comes just as naturally and a second later, your eyes widen slightly like itâs only sink into you just now. The wight of those words. âDid I just say that?â
Felix bursts into laughter immediately and you follow suit a second later, burying your face briefly against his shoulder in embarrassment while he holds you tighter, grinning so hard his face hurts.
Because this is real.
You are real.
-
FELIX: It was too perfect [shyly laughs] And sheâs so beautiful. [shakes head in disbelief] Like actually unfairly beautiful. But more than that⊠It still felt like her. [smiles] I couldnât be happier that itâs her. Sheâs genuinely too good to be true.
-
You canât stop staring at him and honestly, you think your brain mightâve stopped functioning the second Felix walked through those doors. Because how is he real? How is this the same man whose deep voice murmured softly to you through speakers at midnight? The same man who joked about seven children and kangaroos and tiny chef hats?
He looks like something out of a fairytale. Lean and solid and devastatingly beautiful under the warm lights of the reveal hallway, blond hair falling perfectly around his face while his eyes stay locked on yours like he still canât believe youâre real either.
Prince charming. Thatâs genuinely the only thing your overwhelmed brain can come up with right now. And absurdly enough, that deep voice does not match this face at all.
You let out a small disbelieving chuckle under your breath, still staring at him while your fingers remain tangled together between you.
You shake your head immediately, smiling helplessly. âMy prince charmingâŠâ You murmur almost to yourself.
However, Felixâs expression changes slightly, nervousness flickering across his face again as one of his hands slips free from yours and moves toward the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He softly smiles while pulling out a small velvet ring box.
And despite already saying yes in the pods. Despite technically already being engaged, seeing it happen here in front of you feels entirely different.
Felix opens the box carefully before taking the ring out first and then slowly, he gets down on one knee.
No part of you ever genuinely believed moments like this would happen to you. Not like this and definitely with someone looking at you the way Felix is looking at you now. With so much affection, so much trust, so much hope â it almost makes your knees weak.
Felix glances up at you with the softest smile before asking, âWill you still marry me?â
In that moment, all your fear suddenly disappears because the answer feels easy now. You know that even if those doors had opened and he looked completely different. Even if he looked nothing like the version you imaginedâ
You still wouldâve chosen him. Over and over again. Without hesitation. Without doubt.
Your eyes sting warmly again as you smile down at him and in conviction, you answer, âYes.â
Felixâs entire face brightens and the smile that spreads across his face looks ethereal in its happiness as he carefully slides the ring onto your finger. And somehow, that tiny weight settling there makes everything hit you all over again.
Youâre engaged.
Felix lifts your hand carefully afterward, holding it so gently and then presses a soft kiss on the ring perched on your finger.
âOh my god,â you whisper shakily.
Felix laughs softly before standing again and immediately pulling you back into his arms.
This hug feels warm and full, like something inside him finally relaxed hearing your answer in person. And then he kisses you again. And again. Small kisses between laughter and smiles and shaky breaths like he physically canât stop touching you now that he finally can.
You kiss him back just as desperately. Because every emotion youâve been carrying for days suddenly has somewhere real to go.
When Felix finally breaks away, he leans close to your ear again to whisper, âI canât wait to marry you.â
The words hit you right in the chest Because even now, part of you still feels like this canât possibly be real. âPlease keep holding me tight,â you mumble softly against his neck as you tighten your arms around his shoulders. âSo I know this is real.â
Felix lets out the softest laugh and then unexpectedly, his arms tighten around you even more and suddenly your feet are off the floor.
You squeal immediately, clutching onto him as he spins you around in a slow circle, laughing breathlessly while dizziness and happiness crash through you all at once.
His laughter vibrates against you warmly before he finally sets you down carefully only to kiss you again immediately afterward like he still canât get enough. Like neither of you can quite believe the other actually exists.
Eventually, the staff gently signals that your time is almost up. Reality creeps back in too quickly. Reluctantly, the two of you slowly separate just enough to properly look at each other again.
Your fingers remain tightly intertwined with him. âIâll see you again soon,â you tell him softly.
Felix smiles instantly at that and leans forward to place one more kiss against your lips. And another against the ring on your finger. Then slowly and reluctantly, he lets your hand go.
The two of you begin walking backward toward your separate waiting rooms, neither able to fully stop looking at each other. Every few steps, one of you glances back again. Then both of you do. Again and again. Until youâre both laughing softly at how ridiculous you probably look.
Still, you canât stop smiling at him. Not even for a second.
By the time you reach your doorway, you lift your hand toward him in a small wave.
Felix immediately does the same, smiling so warmly your chest tightens all over again. Then the sliding doors close between you.
The second they shut, you completely collapse backward onto the tiny sofa inside the waiting room. Your hands immediately fly to your face, feel the blood rushing in your cheeks.
âOh my god.â
Your voice echoes through the empty room while your heartbeat still refuses to slow down.
Because against all logic, you really did just meet the man youâre going to marry.
The hotel suite is beautiful. But honestly, Felix barely notices it at first because heâs too busy watching you.
The second the two of you step inside, your entire face lights up with quiet wonder as you slowly take in the room around you. Itâs spacious, the furniture are all cream-colored, rose petals scattered on the bed while massive windows stretch across almost the entire wall overlooking the ocean outside.
You wander farther inside almost instinctively, fingertips brushing lightly against the flower arrangement on the coffee table before you disappear toward the balcony doors.
Felix follows without even thinking about it like his body already naturally gravitates toward wherever you are.
The sliding doors open softly, letting in warm evening air carrying traces of salt from the sea below. Most of the sunlight has already faded now, leaving the sky painted in deep shades of blue and orange while the ocean glimmers faintly in the distance beyond the resort lights.
You step closer toward the metal railing, leaning against it slightly while staring out at the view. âItâs so beautiful,â you murmur quietly to yourself.
To Felix, you are the only beautiful view he sees. Especially with the way the wind pushes softly through your hair while the fading sunset casts warm light across your face, and suddenly he feels that same overwhelming disbelief all over again.
Slightly shaking his head in disbelief, he steps closer behind you before slipping both arms gently around your waist and you immediately melt against him like you belong there.
Felix rests his chin lightly against your shoulder while the two of you stare out toward the ocean together. The warmth of your body against his feels grounding somehow after how surreal the last few days have been. You continue quietly admiring the view beneath your breath while his arms tighten just slightly around you.
The silence that settles between you isnât awkward at all. Itâs the kind of silence that feels intimate rather than empty. Felix thinks he could stay like this forever honestly. Just holding you while the world slows down around both of you.
Then after a while, you slowly turn your head slightly toward him. Your eyes meet his from over your shoulder. And thereâs that look again. That warm disbelief. That softness that seems reserved only for him now.
âI still canât believe all of this,â you honestly share, voice so small yet heavy with disbelief. âIt feels like a fairytale.â
âWell, you deserve it,â he assures you, playfully touching your nose with his. âEverything and more.â
Then he leans in, capturing your lips in a slow kiss. The kind of kiss that feels less overwhelming yet somehow even more intimate because of it.
Your fingers lightly curl around his forearms while you kiss him back immediately, smiling softly against his mouth halfway through it.
Felix smiles too because kissing you already feels dangerously addictive and the craziest part is this is only the beginning.
-
FELIX: Iâm really excited for this part. [laughs] Because in the pods, we connected emotionally first. And I love that we got to build that foundation before anything else. But now⊠[smiles] I get to actually spend real time with her, getting to know her better⊠[slyly grins] physically.
-
Dinner on the balcony somehow feels even more surreal. Maybe because now thereâs no wall between you anymore. Just you and Felix sitting across from each other with the glow of the candlelight thatâs swaying along with the sea breeze while the distant ocean hums softly somewhere beyond the darkness.
The trip to get here exhausted both of you enough that the second the food arrived, neither of you even tried pretending to be elegant about it. Somewhere between the casual chat and feeding each other, the atmosphere softens into something warm and intimate.
At one point, Felix insists on making you try a combination of food from his plate. âTrust me,â he says confidently while holding the fork toward you.
âYouâre literally a chef. If this tastes bad, your whole reputation collapses.â
Felix dramatically gasps. âYou wound me.â
Still, you lean forward and take the bite from the fork anyway and heâs right, itâs incredible.
âOh, yeah,â you mutter while nodding in approval.
Felix grins proudly and for a moment you just sit there quietly looking at him while your chest is flooded with happiness. Because everything feels perfect right now. The suite. The ocean breeze. The food. The view. Him. Especially him.
Eventually the plates empty out, leaving only half-finished glasses of wine between you while the night deepens around the resort. You sit curled slightly sideways in your chair while Felix sits close enough that your knees brush occasionally under the table.
Itâs hard not to notice the way he cannot stop looking at you. At all. Every time you glance up, his eyes are already on you, soft and focused, but enough to make your stomach flip embarrassingly hard. And heâs always touching you too like heâs afraid that youâre just fragment of his imagination if he werenât.
Now his hand softly rubs up and down your bare arm absentmindedly while he stares at you like heâs still trying to process that youâre real. âBeautiful,â he murmurs quietly.
Your heart stumbles immediately and you tilt your head slightly to the side, a teasing smile pulls at your lips. âThe view? The suite? Me? You?â
Felix softly laughs before shaking his head. âEverythingâs beautiful,â he admits, gaze softens as he stares at your face. âBut mostly you.â
He says it so naturally like itâs simply factual. Then his fingers gently catch beneath your chin afterward, guiding your face toward him before he leans in and kisses you tenderly. The kind of kiss that melts through you instead of overwhelming you.
When he pulls away, you canât stop yourself from smiling at him immediately afterward.
Felix smiles too, almost helplessly, before his hand drops lower toward your side. The back of his fingers brush lightly against the exposed skin beneath your cropped top. The touch is gentle, tender even. But the way he looks at you while doing it suddenly feels intense somehow. Like heâs actively holding himself back from touching you more.
The realization sends heat rushing straight through your body. So softly, flirtatiously, you ask, âSo⊠whatâs next?â
Felixâs eyes flicker toward yours immediately. The corner of his mouth lifts into a half smirk. âWe can do whatever we want.â
You keep your composure and lean a little closer across the small space between you, faintly biting your lower lip before asking innocently, âWhatever?â
Felix immediately breaks into a sheepish grin. Itâs adorable and dangerously attractive. Still, despite the obvious tension thickening quietly between you now, his voice remains gentle when he answers, âWe donât have to rush anything just because weâre engaged. I want you comfortable.â
Your expression softens at that. Especially with the way he gazes into you with his small, doe eyes.
âIâll only move at your pace,â he adds with such warmth that keeps sneaking past every defense youâve ever built.
You softly smile at him and glide your hand up his arm. âI really said yes to the right man, huh?â
Felixâs smile turns sheepish once more and you lean forward, capturing it in a tender kiss. And he tastes so sweet, sweeter than any desserts.
-
YOU: Yes. I definitely want to use this vacation to get to know Felix better. But also⊠heâs ridiculously hot [slyly grins] I just canât wait to tear his clothes off and jump his bones. [shamelessly laughs]
-
The bathroom is almost as big as the suite itself and the warm lights creates this soft haze as steam slowly fills the air from the tub youâre currently preparing near the window overlooking the dark ocean outside.
Felix honestly doesnât know how heâs supposed to act normal right now. Because suddenly domesticity with you feels dangerously intimate.
You sit on the edge of the tub, one hand steadily control the faucets to find the perfect mix of hot and cold water. Your toiletries scattered beside his on the counter already like the two of you have known which side to take. His chest suddenly overflowed with warm feeling.
Felix stands by the sink unpacking his toiletry bag, dressed only in black boxer briefs while the hotel bathrobe hangs loosely off his shoulders. His hair is slightly messy from the humidity already beginning to gather in the room. Meanwhile his brain is trying very hard not to short-circuit every time he looks at you. Which is difficult. Very difficult.
Felix pulls his toothbrush from the bag before pausing abruptly. He rummages through it and realizes that he only packed a toothbrush, but no toothpaste.
âHey, can I borrow your toothpaste?â he asks, turning slightly to the side.
You glance over your shoulder briefly while dipping your fingers into the bathwater to check the temperature. âNo.â
Felix turns toward you immediately with a betrayed expression. âNo?â
The second he sees the tiny smile tugging at your mouth, realization hits him. You donât mean it. Youâre joking.
You burst into laughter almost immediately afterward and walk toward him. âOf course you can borrow mine. Whatâs mine is yours now,â you warmly say.
You said it so simply, so matter-of-factly but it hits him square on the chest. Especially with the way you lean closer after and press a featherlight kiss against his jaw.
Felix exhales softly at the contact automatically, one of his hands settling instinctively against your waist.
Your palm rests against his chest for a moment afterward. Your eyes steady on his. Then, your hand glides downward, fingers lightly trailing over the toned planes of his stomach. Your eyes flick down as youâre following the trail of body hair that leads you lower and lower until it disappears beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs.
âI like this,â you murmur so softly it almost like a whisper.
Felix completely stops functioning for a second. His face grows warm while his heart hammering inside his chest. Because the look youâre giving him right now is soft and playful and seductive enough to make his brain completely blank out.
And your hand is still there, resting lightly against the waistband of his boxer briefs while you stare up at him through your lashes with the faintest smile curling at your lips.
Felix swallows hard while your smile widens, clearly enjoying his struggle. Then after letting him suffer for another second, you finally pull away.
âThe tubâs ready,â you announce casually like you didnât just nearly kill him.
You donât wait for another response though. Instead, you turn toward the tub and he watches through the mirror as your fingers slowly untie your bathrobe. Not long after, the robe slips from your shoulders and then falls soundlessly to the floor.
All of a sudden, every coherent thought leaves his body entirely. Youâre beautiful. Devastatingly so. His eyes drift helplessly over the curve of your back, the soft lines of your body illuminated under the soft bathroom lighting while you step carefully toward the tub.
One foot first, then the other. And slowly, you lower yourself into the water with a soft sigh.
Felix stares at your reflection in the mirror for one suspended second too long before dragging both hands over his face.
Lord, give me strength.
-
FELIX: Iâm just a man at the end of the day [grins] Iâm trying to be respectful. But sheâs⊠[sighs] sheâs beautiful. Insanely beautiful and she knows what sheâs doing⊠[shakes head] [sucks air through his teeth] I need everyone to understand that Iâm fighting for my life in there. [laughs]
-
You sink deeper into the warm water with a soft sigh, trying very hard to act normal. Because Felix is still standing there by the sink looking unfairly good in nothing but messy blond hair, sculpted abs on show, black boxer briefs, and a bathrobe barely hanging from his shoulders like itâs fighting for its life. Meanwhile youâve been waiting for him to join you for what feels like forever now.
âFelix,â you call out impatiently.
He glances at you over his shoulder immediately, amused already. âHm?â
âGet in.â
A soft chuckle leaves him at your tone. But he still doesnât move fast enough for your liking.
You dramatically stack your hands together against the edge of the tub before resting your chin on top of them, staring directly at him now.
âCome, get in already,â you coax sweetly.
Felix laughs at your impatience, finally turning fully toward you this time. His fingers slip toward the opening of the bathrobe first, slowly tugging it from his shoulders.
You physically stop yourself from gasping out loud. Your eyes stay locked on him shamelessly now while something sparks within you and throughout your body. Because he looks even better than you imagined. Toned stomach. Dainty waist. Lean muscle softened just enough to still look gentle instead of intimidating.
Heâs beautiful. Completely unfair to exist in real life.
He notices your stare immediately and doesnât seem bothered by it in the slightest. If anything, his mouth twitches upward slightly at the corners. And goodness, that unwavering confidence is the sexiest part of him.
Without breaking the eye contact, his fingers hook into the waistband of his boxer briefs. And despite trying very hard to maintain composure, your eyes widen just slightly while you watch him slowly push the fabric down his hips.
You donât even pretend not to look anymore. Your gaze openly sweeps over his body while your brain quietly short-circuits. Every part of him is perfectly sculpted. Especially that part. Soft and hard at the same time somehow. And the sheer size of it â makes you gulp air instinctively.
When your eyes finally meet again, thereâs undeniable heat lingering there between both of you now.
Felix absolutely senses that too. Still, he says nothing. He keeps looking at you with that same confidence while stepping into the tub. The water shifts gently as he lowers himself in slowly across from you, careful not to send water spilling over the edge.
Then, heâs here. With you. Warm skin. Damp hair. Soft eyes fixed entirely on you.
Felix settles comfortably against the opposite side of the tub before lifting his gaze toward yours again. The smile he gives you immediately makes your stomach flutter. Itâs loving, but definitely not innocent anymore.
You reach for your champagne glass first before lifting it slightly toward him and he mirrors the gesture automatically. The delicate clink of glass echoes softly through the steamy bathroom. Then both of you quietly sip your drinks while looking at each other over the rims of your glasses.
And with the look Felix gives you, youâre pretty sure youâre in trouble.
-
YOU: I think itâs wise to take things slow. But have you seen him? [Widens eyes] I genuinely canât. And god knows how long itâs been sinceâ [stops] [shyly covers face with both hands] [looks at the camera] Youâre going to see some real action tonight [laughs]
-
Felix is trying very hard to stay calm. Very. Hard.
Which would probably be easier if you stopped looking at him like that. Or if you werenât currently half-submerged in warm water looking soft and flushed and entirely too comfortable wrapped in steam and candlelight. Or if his entire love language wasnât physical touch.
Because now that youâre finally here with him â real and tangible and within reach â keeping his hands to himself feels nearly impossible. So naturally, one of his hands slips under the water until his fingers gently find your leg, rubbing softly along the side of it.
The touch is absentminded at first. Affectionate. But the second you smile at the feeling, his chest warms instantly.
âI like how physical you are,â you murmur softly, toes rubbing at the inside of his thigh.
Felix grins immediately. âYeah?â
You nod. âI can tell physical touch is your thing.â
A playful look flashes across his face. âOh, Iâm very physical.â
You chuckle warmly at that, shaking your head slightly like you already know exactly what kind of trouble heâs going to be.
His fingers continue gliding slowly along your leg before gently lifting your foot out of the water. He doesnât hesitate, but leans down and presses a soft kiss against your ankle. The gesture feels strangely intimate, tender in a way that makes his chest ache unexpectedly.
He lowers your leg carefully back into the water afterward and continues rubbing the side of your shin.
âIf youâre very physical,â you mutter, placing your champagne flute down on the edge of the tub. âThen why are you over there?â
His brain barely processes the question before youâre already moving toward him. Water shifts around both of you as you carefully crawl into his side of the tub, and he instinctively braces a hand against your waist to steady you.
Then unexpectedly, you turn around and settle yourself directly against him instead. Your back presses flush against his chest while warm water ripples around both your bodies.
Oh, no, this is dangerous. Very dangerous. Yet, his arms wrap around you automatically anyway like there was never any other option.
You tilt your head slightly toward him afterward, murmuring softly, âItâs so much better.â
Felix smiles, mostly because heâs trying very hard not to completely lose composure right now. So instead of letting his hands wander where he desperately wants them to, he settles them carefully against your stomach instead. His fingers rub slow absentminded circles against your skin while he tries to focus on literally anything else besides the feeling of your body pressed against his. Which is impossible because the slightest of movement makes him more aware of you. The warmth of your skin. The softness of your body against his chest. The heat slowly building between both of you that has absolutely nothing to do with the water temperature anymore.
You sink deeper into him comfortably, like you belong there. Then your hands settle over his.
And when you turn your head to look back at him, your eyes say everything without you needing to speak. Want. Curiosity. Invitation.
The look pulls him toward you instantly like gravity. Felix leans in without thinking and kisses you. The kiss feels different. Deeper and hungrier. Your lips part softly beneath his, and the second you kiss him back, something inside him unravels a little further.
Your fingers suddenly tighten around one of his hands, slowly guiding it upward and placing it on your breast. It amazes him that your soft mound perfectly fits his hand. Like it was made for him.
Instinct takes over immediately. His palm cups you gently while his thumb strokes your hardening bud under the water. A low moan escapes you into his mouth that nearly destroys whatever restraint he has left. He kisses you deeper instinctively, his mouth opening against yours while his fingers knead softly at your breast.
Your hand tightens around his wrist and when his tongue brushes against yours, you immediately meet him halfway, kissing him back with enough intensity to make his head spin.
Everything suddenly feels hot and dizzy and overwhelming all at once. Your lips crash against his again and again while water shifts around both your bodies with every movement. And somewhere in the middle of it, Felix realizes things are escalating very, very quickly.
-
FELIX: What was I supposed to do with that? [chuckles] Itâs like fire meeting gasoline. Nothing can stop this kind of chemistry [mischievously grins]
-
Your mouth crashes against Felixâs again before either of you can properly think about slowing down. But to be honest, you canât stop kissing him. Not when he kisses you so passionately, so hungrily and so affectionately all at once. Every time his mouth moves against yours, your body melts deeper into him automatically.
It feels dangerous how naturally the chemistry comes between you. Because yes, maybe you planned on taking things slow. Maybe you told yourself emotional intimacy mattered more. But right now, with Felixâs hand cupping your breast in the warm water while his mouth keeps finding yours over and over againâ
You realize the physical attraction might actually be just as intense. If not worse. And from the way he touches you, kisses you, breathes against your mouth like heâs trying not to lose control entirelyâ
You know he feels it too.
Your lips part from his eventually, both of you breathing slightly heavier now. But the second you pull away, Felix immediately chases after another kiss. You laugh softly against his mouth at the eagerness. Still, you let him steal one more kiss before gently pulling away again just enough to murmur teasingly against his lips, âYou said youâd follow my pace.â
Felixâs eyes darken immediately. A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. âThatâs right. Yeah,â he says, almost breathlessly.
You hold his gaze the entire time as your fingers slide down to take his free hand gently into yours. Then slowly, you guide it to where you want him the most, placing it on the heat between your legs.
The second you let go, Felix understands immediately. Your want, your need and heâs more than happy to comply. The sharp inhale he takes against your lips sends satisfaction curling warmly through your stomach.
Because now itâs your turn to watch him struggle as your own hand drifts lower next, finding his length easily under the water. Warm and hard already at your touch.
Felix exhales sharply the second your fingers wrap gently around him.
You smirk softly at the reaction before leaning close enough to murmur near his mouth, âTry to match my pace then.â
And with that, your hand starts moving and Felixâs head drops slightly against yours as a quiet groan escapes him immediately, restraint visibly cracking apart with every slow stroke of your hand on his cock.
-
YOU: I was just testing him [innocently smiles] To make sure he could follow my pace. [shamelessly smiles] And I must say⊠[bites lips] he was doing pretty well.
-
By the time the two of you finally leave the bathroom, steam still clings faintly to Felixâs skin while both of you remain wrapped in hotel bathrobes, damp hair messy from the shower and from each otherâs hands.
You barely make it two steps into the bedroom before Felix grabs you again and immediately, instinctively, you cling to him. Your arms wrap around his shoulders while your legs hook around his waist without hesitation, laughter bursting out of you as he lifts you effortlessly into his arms. Warmth blooming inside his chest at how naturally you fit against him already.
He carries you toward the bed while your face presses briefly into his neck, both of you grinning helplessly like idiots in love. Then he drops you gently onto the mattress.
The second your body bounces against the soft bed, an excited shriek escapes you.
Felix bursts into laughter, completely smitten. âYouâre too cute,â he says through his grin.
Then he climbs over you and another thrilled sound leaves you the second his body settles above yours.
Your legs immediately wrap around his waist again, pulling him down closer until thereâs barely any space left between your bodies. Then your hands cup his face and tug him into another kiss.
And god, Felix could stay here forever. Just kissing you slowly while your bodies press together through thin layers of fabric, your fingers slipping into his damp hair while his hands settle against your waist possessively.
The chemistry between you feels almost overwhelming now that nothing is separating you anymore. Every kiss grows deeper. Every touch lingers longer. Every breath feels shared. And eventually, impatience wins.
Felix breaks the kiss only long enough to tug roughly at the belt of your robe. You laugh breathlessly against his mouth as the fabric loosens beneath his hands and the robe parts open completely beneath him.
Only then he pulls away. He takes a moment to properly admire you and your breathtaking body against the white bedsheets while warm bedside light traces every curve of exposed skin beneath him.
For a suspended second, Felix simply stares. His chest aches strangely with it. Not only in lust. Thereâs something else too. Something almost disbelieving.
Your eyes eventually meet his and beneath the want, the desire, Felix catches something else flickering briefly underneath it. Insecurity.
One of his hands rises gently to cup your jaw. His thumb brushes softly against your cheek while he looks directly into your eyes. And with complete sincerity and admiration laced every word, he murmurs softly, âHow did I get so lucky?â
Your entire expression softens. Your lips curve into something small and soft. Almost shy.
And quietly, like you still canât quite believe it yourself, you whisper back, âHow did I get so lucky?â
Felix smiles at that. Because nothing feels better than hearing his feelings echo back to him. The certainty. The affection. The way you look at him like heâs something precious too. It makes his chest feel unbearably full.
So Felix leans down and kisses you again, slower. Like heâs trying to pour every overwhelming emotion he has for you into the kiss itself. And beneath him, you kiss him back exactly the same way.
-
FELIX: It honestly feels really nice finding someone whoâs so compatible with me. Not just emotionally. [shyly smiles] But physically too. With her, everything just feels⊠right and easy. [smiles] Iâm genuinely obsessed with her already.
-
Youâre getting impatient again. Which honestly shouldnât surprise you anymore. Because Felix keeps kissing you like heâs trying to ruin your ability to think properly, and every second spent with fabric between your bodies suddenly feels unbearable.
Your fingers quickly find the tie of his bathrobe, tugging at it with barely concealed urgency while he kisses you breathlessly above the white hotel sheets.
Felix laughs softly against your lips at your impatience. âBabyââ
âNeed this off,â you mumble immediately, hands still working at the robe.
He warmly laughs at that and eventually, taking pity on you, he pulls back just enough to shrug the robe off completely himself. The sight of him bare beneath the soft golden bedroom light makes heat curl low in your stomach all over again.
God. Heâs beautiful.
You instinctively part your legs wider for him as he settles himself between them again, still standing at the edge of the bed while leaning over you. His hands brace beside your head before his mouth finds yours again immediately.
You kiss him back just as eagerly while one of his hands slips lower between your thighs again, thumb circling softly on your clit that make your breathing uneven almost instantly. At the same time, your own hand wraps around him again, stroking him slowly while he softly groans into your mouth at the contact.
The tension between both of you climbs higher and higher with every kiss. Every tease of his fingers on your clit. Every pump of your hand on his cock. Every quiet sound swallowed between your mouths. Until eventually it feels impossible to deny whatâs happening anymore.
Reluctantly, Felix finally pulls away from the kiss, forehead resting briefly against yours while both of you breathe unevenly. âGive me one second,â he murmurs softly against your lips.
You nod immediately despite the disappointed little sound threatening to leave you.
Felix softly laughs at your expression before pressing one quick kiss to your mouth and disappearing toward the bathroom.
The second heâs gone, you slowly sit up in bed. The bathrobe still hangs messily around your shoulders, barely clinging there anymore so you shrug it off completely and let it fall carelessly onto the mattress behind you.
You look up just as Felix returns holding a condom loosely in one hand while looking at you with an expression so soft it almost catches you off guard. Like he still canât believe youâre real.
You smile slowly up at him before teasingly say, âI thought we were on a plan for baby number one out of seven.â
He breaks into laughter. âAlready trying to trap me?â
âYou proposed first,â you point out innocently.
Still smiling, Felix steps closer before gently catching your chin between his fingers. He leans down and kisses you softly. Then against your lips, he murmurs, âWeâve still got lots of time to plan all that.â
And somehow, hearing him talk about a future with you still makes your chest ache every single time.
âAnd for now, I want you just for me,â he murmurs, softly yet seductively.
Felix kisses you again afterward, slower this time, like heâs savoring the moment instead of rushing through it and you kiss him back just as softly. Because suddenly this feels intimate in a way that scares you a little. In the best possible way.
-
YOU: I absolutely understand the vision now [nods] [grins] Iâm just saying [shrugs] I suddenly canât wait to have all of his seven babies. [laughs]
-
Felix lets the kiss linger for another second before finally pulling back just enough to lift the condom between two fingers. But before he can finish, your hand gently wraps around his wrist as you take the foil packet from him with a soft smile.
âIâll do it for you,â you murmur sweetly.
Felix immediately melts a little at that. Honestly, he would probably let you get away with almost anything when you use that tone on him. So without question, he hands it over.
But instead of opening it right away, you rise to sit on the edge of the bed and set it aside onto the mattress beside you. Then your hand wraps around his cock again.
His head immediately tips back slightly at the feeling of your soft, lithe fingers wrapped around his sensitive length.
You only smile in response before leaning forward, soft lips press little kisses against his stomach first. Then his left rib. Then his navel. Then lower. And lower. Every kiss feels teasingly unhurried, like you know exactly what youâre doing to him.
Felix forgets how to think altogether as he watches you with parted lips and increasingly uneven breathing while your mouth continues its trail of kisses down the length of his cock. The slow stroke you give him afterward nearly makes his knees buckle.
You smile before pressing another soft kiss on the tip and decide to tease him by landing a kitten lick just before you pull away completely.
âAre you trying to make me lose my mind?â Felix breathes out helplessly.
Instead of answering, you take him into your mouth. Just an inch but itâs enough to let him feel the soft, warm feeling of your mouth around him.
âBabyâŠâ he hisses, eyes locked on the way your lips wrapped around him.
You giggle softly against him in response, and the vibration alone nearly destroys him. But then you begin to suck him and whatever thought he had immediately dissolves.
Felixâs hand instinctively finds your hair the second you guide it there yourself, fingers tangling into soft strands while you take more of him into your mouth and suck gently.
A sharp breath tears from his chest. âOh fuckâŠâ
The feeling of your mouth around him makes his head spin almost instantly. His fingers tighten in your hair a little too hard before he catches himself, breathlessly muttering apologies while you continue looking up at him through your lashes with entirely too much satisfaction glowing in your eyes.
âIâm actually going insane,â he says repeatedly under his breath, almost laughing from disbelief between breaths.
The smug little smile you give him around him only makes things worse. Eventually you pull away slowly, and Felix genuinely thinks he sees stars for a second.
Only then do you finally rip open the foil packet and this time, you carefully roll the condom onto him while he watches you with a softness that almost surprises himself. Because somehow even this feels intimate with you.
When you finish, you glance up proudly. âAll done.â
Felix smiles helplessly before leaning down to kiss you immediately. âYou did such a good job,â he murmurs warmly against your mouth.
Your smile against his lips nearly ruins him all over again and as the kiss deepens, he slowly lowers himself with you until both of you collapse gently back against the mattress together. His body presses fully against yours now, skin against skin. The weight of him makes you wrap your arms around him tighter instantly, fingers digging softly into the muscles of his back as if trying to pull him impossibly closer.
Felix kisses you slowly through every breath, every little sound, every shift of your body beneath him. And when he finally guides himself between your legs, he still takes his time. He rubs his cock between your folds in slow, teasing motions.
The feeling makes you whine softly into his mouth, your fingers tightening against his shoulders immediately.
When he glances down, his length is already coated in your essence so he pushes into you slowly. Just enough to make you sharply gasp against his lips. But instead of pulling away, your legs open wider for him instantly, silently encouraging him closer, deeper into you.
Felix groans softly at the feeling while carefully easing himself fully into you inch by inch until thereâs no space left between your bodies at all.
The sensation nearly overwhelms him. The warmth. The tightness. The way your body welcomes him so perfectly it almost feels unreal. Then your legs wrap around his waist and the movement pushes him deeper still.
âFuck,â Felix shakily breathes out against your cheek.
For a moment neither of you moves. You just stay there together breathing each other in while your bodies slowly adjust. Then your fingers brush gently through his damp hair, pushing strands away from his forehead while you look up at him softly.
âHow do I feel?â you whisper.
Felixâs eyes close briefly. A helpless smile pulls across his face before he looks back at you again. âExactly how I thought you would.â
You tilt your head curiously. âMeaning?â
Felixâs thumb strokes softly against your cheek. âRight,â he softly murmurs. âYou feel⊠right.â
Your entire expression softens at that and then a playful little spark returns to your eyes almost immediately afterward. âAnd now,â you murmur sweetly, âletâs see if you can fuck me right.â
He laughs breathlessly against your mouth before confidently says, âOh, I definitely can.â
And with that, Felix begins moving, slowly and steadily. Every thrust deep enough to make both of you feel each other intensely, completely.
Your fingers clutch tighter and tighter at him the longer it continues. One hand grasping desperately at the bedsheets while the other digs crescent-shaped marks into his shoulder. And oh, every little sound you make pushes him closer to losing himself completely.
The tension builds quickly between both of you after that. Too much sensation. Too much emotion tangled into every kiss and touch and in the way your bodies rubbing against each other. Until finally your whole body tightens beneath him all at once.
Felix feels the exact second pleasure crashes through you. You gasp sharply against his mouth while your body trembles around him, completely unraveling beneath the overwhelming intensity of it.
Felix holds you through it, kissing you tenderly, whispering little praises against your lips while you slowly come back down from your high.
âSo good for me⊠so beautiful⊠coming for me like thatâŠâ he murmurs in between little kisses he places on the side of your face.
When your eyes finally open properly again, you look up at him with dazed eyes and completely wrecked affection. You grin as you playfully murmur, âThe hell with it. Letâs have seven kids.â
-
FELIX: Thereâs absolutely no doubt the physical connection is just as strong as the emotional one. Maybe stronger [shyly smiles] And yeah⊠Iâd say I was very right about my choice.
-
Morning arrives in warm sunlight and the distant sound of waves drifts faintly from outside the balcony doors.
For a moment, you donât even remember where you are. Then you open your eyes fully and find Felix already looking at you. And instantly, warmth spreads through your chest.
Heâs lying on his side beside you, hair messy from sleep, one arm tucked beneath the pillow while the other rests lazily around your waist. His expression softens immediately when he notices your eyes fluttering open.
âHey, beautiful,â he whispers quietly, voice impossibly deeper in the morning.
You shyly smile before snuggling closer to him instead of answering right away.
Felix immediately makes a soft sound of approval and opens his arms wider for you without hesitation. Like this is already routine for him.
Your cheek presses against his bare chest while sleep still lingers heavily behind your eyes.
The room is warm. Felix is warm. Everything feels safe in a way youâre still getting used to. And honestly, you could stay here forever.
As you close your eyes again to steal another few seconds of sleep, you feel Felixâs lips brush softly against your bare shoulder. Then another kiss trails lower along your arm. And another.
His arms tighten around you afterward, pulling you impossibly closer while he lets you drift there comfortably against him for another moment.
Eventually you finally lift your head slightly, peeking up at him through sleepy eyes. âGood morning,â you murmur softly this time.
Felix looks at you like your existence alone already made his entire day. âGood morning, baby.â
The tenderness in his voice makes your chest ache a little and then somehow both of you lean in at the exact same time. Your lips meet halfway naturally in a slow, almost lazy kiss. When he pulls away, itâs only to tilt his head before kissing you again and again. And again. Tiny affectionate kisses that make you softly giggle against his mouth.
âI could get used to this,â he mutters softly between kisses.
You smile at that and Felix kisses your smile too.
For a little while, neither of you says anything afterward. You just stay tangled together on the bed, staring at each other with soft sleepy affection that feels almost dizzying. Your fingers drift gently through his blond hair while his hand absentmindedly trails down your spine.
Neither of you can stop smiling and every time your eyes meet, another helpless grin appears like both of you are still stuck in a dream state. Then, as if he physically canât help himself, Felix leans in again and gives you another long lingering kiss. One that leaves warmth buzzing softly through your entire body afterward.
When he finally pulls back this time, he brushes his nose gently against yours. âSo, what do you want to do today?â he asks softly.
You hum thoughtfully for approximately one second before answering, âStay here and lock you in this room with me.â
Felix bursts into deep, sleepy laughter. Heâs pulling you even closer as he simply answers, âIâm down for that.â
You laugh too before wrapping an arm around his waist more tightly. âBut we should probably go outside eventually.â
âMmm,â he hums, too comfortable to even talk.
You trace lazy circles against his chest while thinking. âWe could do a boat ride and maybe go swimming?â you suggest.
Felix presses a sweet kiss on your temple. âThat sounds nice.â
But despite saying that, neither of you actually moves. Instead, you snuggle closer into him and he tightens his hold around you like he has no intention of letting go anytime soon either.
The two of you remain tangled together in bed while sunlight slowly fills the room brighter and brighter around you. Neither one of you ready to break the softness of the moment just yet.
-
YOU: Last night was⊠fun. [smiles] We definitely did some very deep [snorts] exploring of each other. Waking up next to him this morning felt really nice too. But yeah. The exploring part was also very nice. [giggles]
-
The boat cuts smoothly through the ocean while sunlight dances across the water in endless glittering waves.
Felix sits beside you near the back of the boat, one arm stretched comfortably along the seat behind you while the wind tousles both your hair every few seconds.
The farther the boat takes you from shore, the prettier everything becomes. Open sea. Endless blue sky. Warm sunlight spilling across your skin. And despite the breathtaking view around him, Felix keeps finding himself looking at you instead.
Youâre currently rambling about how unreal the water color looks while squinting toward the horizon, your sunglasses perched slightly crooked on your nose from the wind.
Felix smiles helplessly to himself.
âWhat?â you ask immediately after catching him staring again.
âYouâre just too cute.â
You snort at that. âIâm literally talking about water.â
âExactly.â
Felix leans over immediately to steal a quick kiss while youâre distracted laughing.
You squeal softly into it, hand pushing weakly against his chest while he grins against your lips.
âUgh, youâre so obsessed with me,â you say with feigned annoyance.
âI am,â he simply retorts.
The rest of the ride passes easily after that. Your hand resting absentmindedly over his thigh while Felix occasionally presses lazy kisses against your shoulder or cheek whenever the mood strikes him. He could get addicted to this frighteningly fast.
Eventually the boat slows near a beautiful open stretch of water far from the shore. The sea here looks impossibly clear beneath the sunlight. Once the captain announces itâs safe to swim, Felix immediately stands and starts peeling off layers of clothing. His t-shirt is the first to go and his shorts next, leaving only his black swim trunks behind.
Youâre currently struggling beside him trying to pull your denim shorts off carefully without accidentally dragging your bikini bottoms down too.
âNeed help?â he asks, already smiling.
Without waiting for your response, Felix gets behind you, hands at the ready one each side of you.
You softly chuckle at his eagerness in helping you. âYes. Why not?â
Felix steps forward, closing the last few inches of gap between his chest and your back. His hands tugging at the waistband of your denim shorts while you hold the straps of your bikini bottom. His hands move carefully and affectionately, making sure not to accidentally tug the wrong thing down.
He crouches to help you get rid of the shorts completely. âThere.â
You finally straighten afterward with triumph and turn toward him fully. âThank you,â you sweetly mutter.
Felix genuinely forgets how to breathe for a second. Because seeing you in that pink bikini affects him even more than seeing you naked earlier. Maybe itâs the sunlight against your skin. Or the tiny smug smile on your face after successfully winning the battle against your shorts. Or maybe itâs simply you and this impossible attraction between you that only seems to grow stronger every hour he spends around you.
Whatever it is, Felix suddenly feels dangerously distracted again.
You catch the look on his face immediately too. âWhat?â you ask suspiciously.
Felix shakes his head once like heâs clearing it. âJust trying very hard to behave myself.â
You gently catch his chin in your hand and turn his face to the side, but somehow, his face turned back toward you again. And you laugh at that.
Felix reaches for your hand before leading you toward the edge of the boat together and the ocean stretches endlessly around both of you now. He glances toward you one last time. âReady?â
You nod instantly.
And together, hand in hand, the two of you jump. Cold water crashes around Felix the second you hit the sea, laughter immediately bubbling out of both of you beneath the surface.
When he resurfaces, youâre already pushing wet hair away from your face while laughing breathlessly nearby. And god, heâs gone for you. Completely.
The next hour passes in easy happiness after that. Swimming beside each other. Splashing each other. You cling onto his shoulders at one point while Felix effortlessly keeps both of you afloat, your legs wrapped loosely around his waist while you laugh about absolutely nothing important.
Everything feels easy and natural. And Felix realizes somewhere in the middle of it that spending time with you like this might honestly be his favorite thing in the world already.
-
FELIX: Iâve only physically been with her for, like⊠three days. But it genuinely feels longer than that. Weâre just really attuned to each other. [grins] And I know it sounds insane because this whole experiment moves so fast⊠[softly smiles] But I really do feel like I met the right person.
-
The sea breeze feels cooler now after swimming for so long under the sun.
You sit beside Felix at the back of the boat with a towel draped around your shoulders and another one spread beneath both of you over the seat. Your legs are tangled together lazily while the boat gently rocks against the water. A half-finished plate of fruit sits between you along with two cold drinks sweating under the afternoon heat.
Felix is currently talking about something the captain mentioned earlier, sunglasses pushed up into his damp blond hair while sunlight catches against the freckles scattered across his skin.
You canât stop staring at him and eventually he catches you doing it too.
âWhat?â he asks with a grin.
You smile a little sheepishly. âYouâre such a good swimmer.â
Felix brightens at the compliment. âYeah?â
You nod. âYou looked way too comfortable out there.â
He laughs softly before leaning back against the seat. âI used to swim a lot growing up in Australia.â
Your attention sharpens into curiosity. âWith your family?â
Felix nods. âYeah. Weâd go to the beach all the time.â
The second he starts talking about them, you hear immediately hear the warmth in his voice. The affection. The ease. He talks about family memories so fondly, like love was always something freely given in his life.
Hearing it feels strangely foreign to you. Beautiful. But foreign. You quietly pick at a strawberry for a second before blurting out the thought thatâs been lingering in your head since yesterday.
âYou think Iâll fit in?â
Felix freezes, head tilted to the side. âHuh?â
âYour family,â you mumble sheepishly. âDo you think theyâll like me?â
His brows pull together in confusion.
You shrug lightly, trying to sound casual even though your stomach suddenly twists with nerves. âBecause you know, Iâm meeting them soon.â
Felix still looks genuinely confused. Almost offended on your behalf somehow. âBaby,â he says carefully, reaching for your hand immediately. âWhy wouldnât they like you?â
You avoid his eyes briefly. âI donât know.â
The truth is, you do know. Because deep down, some part of you still expects rejection before acceptance. Still waits for the moment people decide youâre too much or not enough all at once.
His hand tightens gently around yours before he lifts it toward him. âI like you. A lot,â he pauses to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. âAnd if I like you, I know my family will too.â
Before you can answer, he presses a soft kiss against your knuckles.
The gesture makes something warm ache inside your chest immediately. And even though the reassurance settles some of your nerves, it doesnât erase them completely. Still, it helps.
Felix tilts his head slightly and then carefully, he asks, âWhat about your mom? Will she like me?â
You immediately let out a nervous laugh. âThatâs actually terrifying to think about.â
Felix laughs too at first until he realizes that youâre not joking.
âIâve never brought anyone to meet her before,â you admit and saying it aloud suddenly makes the reality of all this hit harder. The wedding. The families. The outside world waiting for both of you after this vacation ends. âI honestly donât know how sheâll react.â
You glance toward Felix again and immediately notice the concern appearing across his face now too. Which naturally makes you want to tease him a little.
âMy mom is very hard to impress, by the way.â
Felix looks at you for a second. Then without hesitation, he calmly says, âIâll try my best to earn you.â
The sincerity in his voice catches you completely off guard. Not win her over. Not impress her. Earn you. Like loving you properly matters more than anything else.
Your chest aches so suddenly and intensely that you donât even think before leaning in and kissing him.
Felix immediately kisses you back, one hand sliding gently against your jaw while the boat rocks quietly beneath both of you.
When you pull away, your forehead lingers against his. âYou shouldnât worry,â you murmur. âWhatâs not to like about you?â
Felix smiles at that. A small warm smile that makes him look almost shy despite everything. Then he leans in again and gives you another long lingering kiss while sunlight dances endlessly across the water around the two of you.
-
YOU: Thereâs still a lot to think about. A lot waiting for us after this. And honestly, itâs scary if I think too hard about it. [softly sighs] But for now⊠I just want to focus on him. On us. I kind of just want to enjoy this vacation with Felix while I still can. [smiles]
-
Felix is halfway through buttoning the cuffs of his shirt when production knocks on the hotel suite door.
A staff member pokes their head in with a bright smile. âGet dressed and head down to the beach in thirty minutes, please.â
And just like that they leave without further explanation or details. Which honestly unsettles Felix a little more than he wants to admit. Because usually, no information means surprise and surprise on reality television rarely means peace and relaxation. Still, as long as it has nothing to do with losing you somehow, he figures he can survive it.
Especially when he turns around and sees you stepping out of the bathroom.
âWow.â It slips out before he can stop himself.
You laugh softly while smoothing your hands down the sides of your black dress. âDo I look⊠okay?â you nervously ask.
Felix just stares at you helplessly for another second. The dress hugs you perfectly, elegant and simple while your hair falls softly over your shoulders. And somehow you still look at him like heâs the pretty one in the relationship.
âOkay?â he asks in utter disbelief. âBaby, you look incredible.â
Your smile turns shy around the edges. âThank you.â
Felix walks over, hands automatically finding your waist. Then he leans down and presses a careful kiss against your cheek as to not to ruin your makeup.
You smile warmly at the gesture before slipping your fingers through his hand and just like that, the nervousness settles a little because youâre here.
The two of you walk down the softly lit pathway together afterward, palm trees swaying gently in the evening breeze while distant music grows louder the closer you get to the beach. Eventually the path opens into a beautiful patio area set up near the sand and when he thinks you two are the first to get there, Felix notices a couple sitting together on one of the outdoor sofas.
Recognition hits almost immediately. âShane?â Felix blurts out.
The man instantly breaks into a grin and stands up. âFelix!â
At the exact same time beside him, you let out a low surprised shriek after recognizing the woman sitting next to Shane too. âOh my god.â
Soon, more couples begin arriving. More familiar voices. More shocked reactions. More introductions. And slowly it dawns on Felix exactly what this is. These are all the couples who made it out. Everyone who got engaged. Everyone currently vacationing in the same hotel just like you and him.
The realization feels surreal because just a week ago all of you were dating blindly through glowing walls and now everyoneâs here holding hands with their future spouses in real life.
Eventually the chatter quiets when the female host finally enters the patio.
âWelcome to your vacation!â she begins with a bright, teeth-baring smile.
Everyone cheers and smiles and applauds and the host lets it settle before continue talking. âHowâs your romantic getaway so far?â
Thereâs laughter immediately. A few teasing comments. Some very guilty-looking faces around the group. Felix and you look at each other at the same time and immediately burst into laughter.
âI'm sure you have recognized everyone in here,â the host continues, briefly looking at everyone before staring back at the camera. âBut gentlemen, we want you to meet the ladies. And ladies, we want you to meet the gentlemen that you did not propose to.â
The host goes on, introducing each couple properly one by one, including you and Felix. She takes another moment of break before speaking again. âCongratulations to all of you on your engagements.â
The cheers erupt again and Felix tightens his hold on your hand as he looks at you. And it feels like a pinch-me moment still. You and him, engaged.
âYou guys fell in love and chose somebody to marry you without ever seeing them. You've had no distractions, nothing to get in the way. Here you have the chance to develop your emotional connection into a physical one,â the host says with a soft smile lingering on her face.
Felix feels your eyes on him even before he looks at you. He understands the wavering gaze, the way you tightly hold his hand on your lap, the fear that everything might change the moment you both step out of this bubble. Â
âYour wedding are just four weeks away,â the host reminds with a steady yet firm tone. âWill you say 'I do' to the person you chose to marry or will you walk away from them forever?â
She looks at the camera as she asks the one question that sums this whole experiment, âIs love truly blind?â
While Felix keeps nodding along politely and soothingly rubbing the back of your hand, internally heâs having a tiny crisis. Because suddenly this feels very real again. Heâs going to marry you soon.
Still, the host eventually lifts her glass with a smile and offers a toast. âTo love and happiness and to all of you enjoy this moment!â
Everyone lifts their glasses as well before finally taking a sip and the host tells everyone to enjoy the rest of their vacation before leaving the patio.
For a few seconds afterward, everyone just kind of sits there processing. Until suddenly Jim stands up dramatically, grabs a bottle of liquor from the table, and announces, âAlright, everyone. Letâs get this party started.â
Instantly everyone bursts into cheers and laughter. And just like that, the party started.
-
FELIX: It was honestly really nice finally seeing everybody outside the pods. And everyone here is very attractive [chuckles] But it is weird now realizing weâre all technically getting married⊠after dating each other first. [laughs] Reality TV is insane.
-
The patio grows louder as the night gets late. Music drifts through the beachside space while drinks keep appearing in peopleâs hands and conversations overlap from every corner of the party.
The second you spot Morgan across the patio, you nearly spill your drink trying to get to her. âMorgan!â
She turns around instantly and lets out a scream just as dramatic as yours before practically launching herself at you.
The two of you immediately crash into a hug. Then another one. And somehow another after that too.
âOh my god, I missed you,â Morgan groans dramatically into your shoulder.
âI missed you too!â You pull away only slightly before grabbing her hands again like you need to confirm sheâs real. It feels oddly emotional seeing everyone again outside the pods. Especially the girls you spent every single day with.
Morgan squeezes your hands warmly. âIt feels weird without Daria though,â she says softly.
âI know,â you sadly mutter, a little ache settles in your chest at the thought of it. âSheâs literally the sweetest person ever.â
Morgan nods immediately. âSeriously. I canât believe she didnât end up with anyone.â
You sigh softly before taking another sip of your drink.
Then suddenly Morganâs entire expression brightens mischievously. âBut can we talk about your man?â
You immediately laugh. âWhat about Felix?â
Morgan leans closer dramatically. âHe is not what I expected him to look like.â
That makes you laugh even harder. âWhat were you expecting exactly?â
âI donât know!â Morgan bursts out laughing too. âLike⊠some huge muscular guy with a thick beard.â
You nearly choke on your drink laughing. âA thick beard?â
âYes!â
âOh my god.â
The two of you dissolve into louder laughter together while nearby people glance over curiously. âI thought the same thing at first,â you admit eventually while wiping tears from your eyes.
âRight?!â Morgan says triumphantly.
âBut heâs actually a very gentle person,â you continue softer now, unable to stop smiling when you talk about him.
Morgan immediately melts. âAwww.â
âAnd weâve been getting to know each other better andâŠâ You shrug shyly. âSo far heâs very much my dream man.â
Morgan immediately narrows her eyes teasingly. âSo far?â
You burst into laughter again.
âNo no no,â she says dramatically. âWhat do you mean so far?â
You shake your head while laughing. âI donât know. Heâs just⊠Heâs too good to be true.â
Morganâs expression softens immediately afterward. She reaches over and squeezes your arm gently. âI think you guys deserve each other. And Iâm really happy for you,â she sweetly says.
Your chest warms instantly at the sincerity in her voice. Before you can answer, Morgan pulls you into another hug anyway and you happily let her.
When you finally pull apart again, you lift your drink toward her. âTo finally winning the battle over Jim?â you tease.
The party continues afterward, everyone slowly mixing together more comfortably now that the initial shock has worn off.
At one point you end up chatting with Jim near the table full of snacks. He looks exactly how you imagined he would. Messy hair. Tattoos. That careless confidence dripping from him naturally. Though admittedly⊠Heâs smaller and shorter than you expected. Which immediately becomes too funny not to mention.
âYou know,â you say casually while sipping your drink, âthe womenâs lounge literally ran out of wine because of you.â
Jim bursts into loud laughter immediately. âIâm not sorry,â he jokingly says.
You laugh before lightly nudging his shoulder. âWell. Thank you for choosing my best girl.â
Jim immediately grins. âTrust me, the pleasure is all mine.â
You clink your glass with him and take a small sip.
Once Jim swallowed his drink, he looks at you and casually asks, âHowâre things with Felix?â
Your smile appears automatically. âWeâve been really good.â
And just hearing yourself say it out loud makes warmth spread through you again.
Jim nods knowingly and laughs to himself before speaking. âYou know, when Felix talked about you back in the menâs lounge, that man did not hesitate about you for even a second.â
Your chest tightens, a soft smile pulls at your lips at that.
Jim takes another sip of his drink before continuing. âHonestly, I kind of figured heâd be the first one engaged.â
That makes you laugh. âReally?â
âOh yeah.â Jim points toward Felix across the patio where heâs currently laughing with Shane. âOne pod date and that guy was gone for you.â
The affection in Jimâs tone catches you off guard a little. âAnd Iâm genuinely happy itâs you he ended up with,â he adds sincerely.
You smile softly at that and then immediately ruin the emotional moment on purpose. âIâm just relieved I didnât have to deal with your drama in the womenâs lounge for longer.â
Jim immediately doubles over laughing. âOkay, fair enough.â
âYou had those girls fighting for their lives.â
âIâm charming. What can I say?â
âMenace.â
Jim cracks up again while you laugh along with him and somewhere across the patio, Felix catches your eye. The second he sees you smiling, his own expression softens too. Like heâs automatically drawn toward you even from across the room.
And your stomach still flips a little every single time.
-
YOU: It was honestly really nice seeing the girls again and finally putting faces to the voices from the pods. I must admit that some of them are pretty hot [giggles] but like⊠whatever [dramatically rolls eyes] [laughs] I already got the best one anyway.
-
Felix ends up gathered near the bar with most of the guys while everyone slowly settles into easy conversation now that the initial awkwardness has disappeared.
Rob is currently leaning against the counter with a drink in hand, looking way too entertained already. âSo,â he says, eyes narrowing mischievously at everyone. âHowâs everybody been behaving?â
Immediately the group erupts into laughter because absolutely nobody believes anyone here has been behaving.
Jim lifts his glass casually. âI stayed up until four last night.â
The boys immediately explode.
âNo way.â
âBrother.â
âFour in the morning?!â
Jim only shrugs innocently while trying and failing not to laugh at everyoneâs reactions.
Felix is already grinning into his drink when Stefan suddenly groans dramatically beside them.
âI accidentally pulled my back yesterday.â
The entire group immediately starts yelling over each other.
âNooooo.â
âStefan!â
âAlready?!â
Stefan points defensively at everyone while laughing. âIt was from the luggage!â
Nobody believes him for even half a second. The guys howl even louder afterward while Stefan collapses into embarrassed laughter himself.
Felix wisely decides to stay quiet during all this. Because if he keeps his head down long enough maybe nobody will ask him anything. Unfortunately, that strategy lasts approximately ten seconds. Then suddenly everyone turns toward him together.
âWhat about you, Felix?â
âOh yeah.â
âYouâve been suspiciously quiet.â
Felix exhales through his nose while trying not to smile too hard already. âI mean⊠we agreed not to rush things just because weâre engaged.â
A few of the boys nod approvingly.
Felix continues smoothly, pretending he doesnât notice everyone leaning in now. âAnd I told her Iâd move at her pace.â
Rob immediately elbows Felix hard in the side. âJust tell us already, man.â
The entire group bursts out laughing instantly.
Felix finally cracks too, dropping his head while grinning helplessly. âOkay, listen,â he says through laughter. âI just didnât know she was apparently an F1 racer.â
The boys immediately lose their minds again.
âAnd now?â Jim asks dramatically.
Felix shakes his head with mock exhaustion. âNow Iâm struggling to keep up with the pace she set.â
The reaction afterward is a genuine delight. Half the guys double over laughing while Jim nearly spills his drink all over himself.
âTHATâS MY BOY!â Jim yells dramatically before throwing an arm around Felixâs shoulders.
âYou look very happy for someone suffering,â Shane points out.
âThatâs because he likes it,â Rob immediately says.
âUnfortunately, yes,â Felix admits shamelessly.
Everyone cheers loudly before bringing their drinks together for one giant toast beneath the beach lights.
And despite all the teasing, Felix canât stop smiling afterward.
-
FELIX: I think what we have is more than just sex. Sheâs genuinely become my best friend really fast. We talk about everything. We laugh all the time. Being around her just feels easy. But also, thereâs a difference between sex being good⊠[slyly grins] and sex being so fucking fantastic.
-
By the time you and Felix stumble back into the hotel suite, both of you are warm from alcohol and laughter and hours spent socializing.
The second the door shuts behind you, Felix lets out a dramatic groan. âOh my god.â
You barely manage to hold in your laughter before he drops backward onto the bed face-first, arms spread out dramatically across the mattress. âI shouldnât have drank that much,â he mutters into the sheets before rolling over to lay on his back.
You shake your head fondly before climbing onto the mattress beside him. Well, not exactly beside him. On top of him.
You straddle his waist easily while Felix immediately makes a soft sound beneath you, his hands instinctively finding your hips. His cheeks are slightly flushed from the alcohol, blond hair messy from the humid beach air and too many hands running through it tonight. And when he looks up at you with those slightly dazed eyes, your stomach flips embarrassingly fast.
God. You really like this man. Your hands settle against his chest while absentmindedly playing with the buttons of his shirt.
Felix watches you quietly beneath half-lidded eyes, thumbs rubbing lazy circles against your thighs.
âSince you finally saw all the girls tonightâŠâ
âMhm?â
âDid anyone catch your attention?â
His grin immediately widens. âWhy? Are you jealous?â
You genuinely pause to think about it for a second. Then honestly answer, âNo. Not really.â
Felix bursts into soft laughter beneath you.
You shrug lightly and confidently say, âI know what I bring to the table.â
âThat you do,â he murmurs immediately, expression softens as he looks up at you again.
âIf youâre asking whether I want to make seven kids with anybody else thoughâŠâ He shakes his head once. âNo. I only want them with you.â
The way he says it playfully and sincerely at the same time makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Felix slides his hands higher along your waist and gently pulls you down closer to him until your faces are only inches apart. Then he kisses you. Softly yet passionately.
You kiss him back instinctively while his hands settle comfortably against the small of your back. When you finally pull away, you stay hovering close enough that your noses still brush together every few seconds.
One of your hands drifts upward to cup his jaw gently and notice the way his eyes stay fixed on your mouth. âAre you trying to get lucky tonight, mister?â you murmur teasingly.
Felix slyly smiles at you. âIâm already lucky.â
His arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer against him. âIâm engaged to you.â
You scoff immediately even though your heart does another stupid flip again from hearing it. âYouâre good,â you mutter.
âYeah?â
âMmh. So good.â
Then you crash your lips against his again before he can get smug about it.
-
YOU: I know I said that a few of them are attractive. But I genuinely canât imagine feeling the same level of physical attraction I have with Felix with anyone else. Thereâs just⊠[seductively smiles] A lot of chemistry there. Like. A dangerous amount, actually.
-
The hotel room is dim except for the warm bedside lights casting gold across your naked form, and every bouncing movement of you on top of him pulls another shaky breath from him.
Thereâs heat in his gaze, unmistakably so, but something softer lives there too. Affection and admiration. The kind that squeezes on your chest whenever he looks at you too long.
His hands roam across your body slowly, reverently, like heâs memorizing every inch of you through touch alone. Up your waist. Along your sides. His palms eventually meet the softness of your breasts. Every touch of his fingers over your hardening nipples draws a reaction from you, another breathless laugh or soft sound that only makes him smile wider beneath you.
âHow would I turn away from this, mmh?â he murmurs, voice rough with awe more than anything else. âWhen you look this good. Fucking me this good, mmh?â
You only grin knowingly at him before continuing to move against him in slow teasing motions that make his head fall back against the pillow briefly.
âBaby,â he groans quietly, laughing under his breath afterward like heâs already losing his mind a little.
Felix keeps his eyes on you. No matter how much watching you rolling your hips back and forth, clenching around him and quivering in places, tirelessly chasing your high â have him tethering on the edge. He holds back as much as he can.
Not long after, he watches the exact moment the pleasure taking over your body. The way your eyes screwed shut, head falls to the back, the way you let out a stifled scream and how he finds it cute and sexy at the same time. Oh, heâs down bad.
The smile is permanently etched on his face at this point as he gently runs his hand between your breasts and rests it there, feeling the way your heart beating fast under the layer of flesh and bones.
âHow come youâre so cute coming around me like that?â he teases.
You giggle at that, completely unapologetic and land a gentle slap on his chest. âShut up!â you say rather affectionately.
He lets you relish the high as he indulges himself in touching you, noticing that youâre much more sensitive now under his touch. He gently pinches on your nipple and you lewdly moan in reaction.
When your eyes are on him again, he can see that the desire burn brighter now as you begin moving again, moving your hips back and forth, ever so slowly that it surprises him once more how tightly youâre wrapped around him.
âWeâre going straight to next round, I see,â he teases with his deep, rough voice.
You smirk and nod. âTouch me, baby,â you whine, needily.
Felix is more than happy to comply. He squeezes on the flesh of your waist before gliding them up to your chest, kneading on your breasts. One hand stray upward, meeting your mouth. He swipes his thumb across your lips before jamming it into your mouth and you immediately suck on it.
âYouâre so fucking hot,â he absentmindedly mutters, eyes wide and heavy with lust.
You smirk with your lips wrapped around his thumb and keep smirking when he pulls it out. With his thumb now coated with your saliva, he uses it to tease on your erected nipple, rubbing over it in circular motions.
âFuck, baby,â he mutters breathlessly in so much awe. âSo fucking hot. So fucking perfect for me.â
He feels you clenching from his words and thatâs it, his self-control begins to slip away. He moves his hand to your shoulder and then pulls you down. You immediately melt against him while his arms wrap tightly around your waist, holding you close enough that thereâs barely space left between your bodies anymore. Then he kisses you deeply again, warm and lingering, like heâs trying to pour every feeling he has for you into it.
When he breaks the kiss, he looks at you with this dazed little smile. âHow am I supposed to behave,â he mutters absentmindedly, âwhen you look this good?â
You smile at that, hands sliding into his hair while his settle firmly on your hips as he starts bucking from under you, meeting your thrust halfway. And every now and then, he just canât stop himself from kissing you again in slow and messy kiss. The kind that keep turning into soft laughter halfway through because neither of you can stop smiling.
Eventually the sex turns intensely intimate, like itâs more than just physical fulfilment now. Itâs him and you, bonding and connecting in a way that is never done before. And somewhere in the middle of it all, Felix looks at you with sincerity shining through the desire clouded his eyes.
âI love you,â he whispers quietly and the words still hit him hard every single time. Because of how real they are. So real that it scares him a little sometimes.
You brush your thumb gently across his cheek before whispering it back without the slightest hesitation this time. âI love you too.â
Felix smiles like hearing those words from you might honestly become his favorite thing in the world. He pulls you closer after that until youâre practically folded into his chest while both of you laugh softly into another kiss while continue moving in sync and not stopping until the two of you are falling apart around each other.
-
FELIX: Told you [mischievously smiles] The sex is fucking fantastic.
-
Waking up tangled together in bed and kiss Felix first thing in the morning is already starting to feel normal in the most dangerous way possible. At the same time, he keeps reaching for your hand absentmindedly, keeps kissing your shoulder while walking past you, keeps looking at you like he still canât believe you chose him.
The strange thing is it doesnât feel strange at all. It feels like the two of you have been around each other for years instead of days.
And today, the production team set up a cooking session for the two of you so Felix can showcase his skill and teach you. And in the process, they get the footage the need for the show.
The two of you are standing side-by-side in an open kitchen studio overlooking the ocean which sounds romantic in theory. In practice, however, youâre holding a knife like this is the first time you ever do so.
Felix notices immediately and asks, âYou okay there?â
You narrow your eyes at the cutting board dramatically. âI suddenly forgot how cooking works.â
He laughs softly beside you and the sound sends a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. âYouâre doing fine.â
âNo, Iâm not,â you honestly share. âIâm nervous because this is your area of expertise
Felix shakes his head before stepping closer behind you. âItâs not a competition, baby.â
His arms slide gently around you as he carefully adjusts your grip on the knife. âOkay,â he softly murmurs patiently near your ear. âCurl your fingers in a little more so you donât cut yourself.â
You obediently follow his instructions while trying very hard not to get distracted by how warm his chest feels against your back.
âThere you go,â he praises softly almost immediately.
You glance over your shoulder suspiciously. âYou praise me for everything.â
âBecause youâre cute.â
âThatâs not helpful.â
âIt helps me.â
You snort while Felix grins shamelessly behind you. Despite your nerves earlier, the entire cooking session becomes easy after that because Felix never once makes you feel stupid. Never takes over. Never acts like you should already know things. He just patiently guides you through everything, gently correcting you when needed and celebrating every tiny success in gentle affection. He makes you feel safe and comfortable and you actually find yourself enjoying it. A lot.
Felix beams proudly after you successfully dump the ingredients into the pan without spilling anything.
âThatâs my girl,â he says proudly.
Eventually the dish is finished, plated nicely enough that you almost feel suspicious about it. You immediately shove the spoon toward Felix first. âI give you the honor to be the first to test it.â
His eyebrows lift. âWhy? You donât trust yourself?â
âI trust myself less than I trust you.â
Felix laughs again before taking the spoon from your hand and tasting the dish thoughtfully.
You stare at him anxiously the entire time.
âWell?â
He keeps chewing slowly on purpose now, clearly enjoying your suffering.
âFelix.â
His lips twitch.
âNow, donât go Gordon Ramsay on me.â
He bursts into laughter while still trying to finish chewing, shoulders shaking beside you.
âFirst of all, rude,â he laughs breathlessly.
âSo itâs bad?â
âNo!â He points at the food dramatically. âItâs actually really good.â
You squint suspiciously at him. âBe honest. Donât be biased.â
âI am being honest!â
Still unconvinced, you grab another spoon and taste it yourself. And heâs right, itâs actually good.
Felix immediately slides an arm around your waist and pulls you against his side while watching your reaction proudly. âSee? Iâm being honest,â he says smugly.
You slowly nod while taking another bite. âWe did a good job.â
Felix grins brightly. âWe did.â
Then he looks down at you with that unbearably warm expression again. âYouâre amazing.â
Your chest tightens a little and itâs not because the compliment is huge. But because he says things like that so easily. Like loving you is the simplest thing in the world.
You smile softly up at him and say it back to him, âYouâre amazing.â
Without thinking much about it, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. Felix melts into it instantly, hugging you back tightly enough that giggles spill out of you.
When you pull away slightly, you look up at him, fingers lightly smoothing the fabric of his white linen shirt. âI really mean it, you know. Youâre amazing.â
Felixâs widen as he playfully says, âAnd I really meant it too.â
âYouâre amazing because you never made me feel like loving me is difficult,â you share sincerely, heart tightening as you let your vulnerability shows. âAnd you never seem scared to show how much you care.â
For a second, he only looks at you and then slowly, a smile blooms on his small face. The kind that feels warm all the way down to your bones.
âWell, it honestly isnât that hard,â he murmurs softly. âAnd I really do love you.â
And hearing it still makes your heart stumble every single time.
-
YOU: Itâs really nice being with someone who isnât scared of showing his feelings. [softly smiles] And I know realityâs going to hit us soon. [sighs] Weâre going to go back home eventually. Meet families. Merge our lives together. Deal with actual real-world problems. But I just⊠I hope we stay like this. I hope none of that changes who we are with each other.
-
The hotel bar is booked by the production team for the last group gathering of the vacation.
Felix keeps your hand locked with his the entire walk there like yours is an extra limb of him. The second the two of you step inside, Jim loudly points toward them from across the room.
âThereâs the honeymoon couple.â
Felix immediately laughs while you groan beside him. âOh my god. Weâre never escaping this nickname.â
âNope,â Morgan says brightly while handing you a drink.
Soon enough everyone gathers together near the center of the bar, drinks already in hand while production encourages everyone closer for a group toast. The atmosphere feels completely different now compared to the first night at the beach party. Like everyone finally settled into the reality that theyâre all actually engaged now.
Rob raises his glass dramatically first. âTo somehow surviving this experiment.â
âAnd to surviving Jim,â Shane adds immediately.
The entire group erupts into laughter while Jim protests loudly.
Felix grins before lifting his own drink too. âTo love being blind.â
Everyone cheers after that, glasses clinking together in a messy chorus before the night properly begins. Afterward people naturally split off into smaller conversations scattered around the bar.
At one point Felix finds himself leaning comfortably against the counter beside Rob and Sonya while you stay tucked warmly against his side, your arm looped through his.
Sonya is in the middle of telling a ridiculous story from the pods while Rob keeps interrupting dramatically every thirty seconds. âYou did not say that.â
âI absolutely did.â
Youâre laughing so hard beside Felix that you nearly spill your drink, and without even thinking about it he reaches over to steady the glass in your hand before kissing your temple absentmindedly. The motion feels automatic now and apparently everyone else feels the same with their partners because no one even reacts to the affection anymore.
Across the room Jim has Morgan tucked practically into his lap while Shane keeps stealing kisses from Laura in between conversations.
At some point Felix catches himself looking around the room quietly. All these people. All these relationships that somehow came from talking through a wall. Itâs kind of amazing and unbelievably, it worked for him too.
âI just canât seem to fit the face to the voice,â Sonya says, laughing to herself as she looks at Felix in utter confusion.
You gently place your hand on her forearm and say, âI know right?â
âLike⊠did you expect this,â Sonya says, hands gesturing at Felix as she talks to you. ââŠWhen you said yes?â
You snort and briefly glance at Felix, âHonestly, no,â you jokingly say, feigning serious expression. âI felt like I got catfished a little.â
Felix stares at you in disbelief, shaking his head and then holds the side of your face. âNo, baby. You expected this,â he says, the tone soft and coaxing. âIâm your prince charming, remember?â
Your expression softens instantly afterward, lips pulling into a wide grin. âYes, you are.â
Then, because youâre slightly tipsy and affectionate tonight, you lean up and kiss him right there in the middle of your sentence.
Rob immediately groans dramatically beside them. âYeah, okay, alright.â
âGet a room,â Sonya says while laughing.
Felix only grins against your mouth before kissing you once more anyway just to annoy them further.
-
FELIX: Iâm kind of sad to get back to the real world. I want to. Iâm excited to introduce her to family and friends. To be a part my life, but⊠I kind of donât want to go home either [laughs] I like our bubble. I want to keep her to myself and not share her. [laughs] Yet.
-
You end up on one of the vacant sofas near in one corner of the bar with Laura, both of you finally taking a breather from the noise and energy of the party.
Felix is across the bar now with Jim and Shane, already laughing at something loudly enough that you can hear it over the music.
You smile into your drink at the familiar sound and Laura notices immediately. âOh, youâre so in love,â she teases.
You snort softly before taking another sip, not having anything to say to either deny or confirm. Your happy face shows everything.
Laura tucks one leg beneath herself on the sofa before asking, âSo⊠howâs it really been with you and Felix?â
You think about it for a second and honestly answer, âItâs been great.â
You glance toward Felix again briefly before continuing. âI think what shocked me the most is how⊠in sync we are.â
Laura nods slowly while listening. âLike emotionally?â
âEmotionally, physically, personality-wiseâŠâ you shrug lightly but a small smile tugging at your lips. âEverything just kinda fits.â
Laura hums thoughtfully before taking another sip of her drink. Then suddenly her expression turns mischievous. âYou know everyoneâs betting you two are the success story of the season, right?â
Your laughter escapes immediately. âOh my god.â
âItâs true!â
You shake your head while grinning into your glass. âWell,â you say playfully, âletâs hope so.â
Laura watches you for a second like sheâs genuinely happy seeing how relaxed you look talking about either Felix or the relationship. Then casually she asks, âSo howâs the physical attraction?â
You nearly choke on your drink because itâs so sudden.
Laura bursts into laughter immediately while you cough dramatically into your hand. âI need details!â she laughs.
You shake your head while recovering but your cheeks heat anyway. âI mean⊠we agreed to take things slow.â
Laura lifts an eyebrow knowingly. âAnd?â
âAnd then things justâŠâ you gesture vaguely. ââŠheated up eventually.â
Laura laughs into her glass. âThatâs really cute.â
You smile before nudging her leg lightly with yours. âWhat about you and Shane?â
Lauraâs expression dims just slightly while she looks down at her drink. âItâsâŠâ she exhales quietly. âIâm still figuring things out.â
You stay quiet, letting her continue if she wants to.
âThe Shane I knew in the podsâŠâ she pauses thoughtfully. âAnd physically being with Shane nowâ Iâm still trying to make those two versions connect in my head.â
You nod slowly. You kind of understand what she actually means. Because from everything you saw in the womenâs lounge, Laura had a hard time letting go of Jim after he chose Morgan instead.
So carefully, teasingly enough not to make it heavy, you ask, âWhat, are you attracted to somebody else?â
A beat later, you playfully add, âJim, perhaps?â
Laura immediately laughs into her drink. âOh my god.â
âSo thatâs a yes.â
She shakes her head but still smiles afterward. Then honestly, she answers, âYeah. Jim is probably more my type physically.â
You already guessed that and maybe thatâs what this whole thing is really testing. Reality versus expectation. Fantasy versus whatâs actually in front of you.
So gently, you tell her, âLaura, Iâm sure you said yes to Shane for a reason and I think you just got to focus on that, on building your relationship with him.â
Laura nods and then takes a small sip of her drink.
âI think you should go on your own pace. Not to rush things and you know, talk and communicate your feelings. I think thatâs very important,â you say with utmost cautiousness, not wanting to sound like youâre preaching.
Laura nods slowly afterward, thoughtful now. âYouâre right.â
Youâre just about to take another sip of your drink when suddenly a warm hand settles on your shoulder. You already know itâs Felix before you even look up.
âAre you two talking about me?â he asks, one brow raises higher than the other.
You tilt your head innocently. âWhy? Is your ear burning?â
Felix immediately laughs while Laura points accusingly at you. âYes. Sheâs obsessed with you and canât stop talking about you.â
âOh really?â Felix asks smugly while dropping down beside you on the sofa.
You groan while he automatically slides an arm around your waist anyway and without effort, conversation picks right back up again. Like the three of you have known each other for far longer than a couple of weeks.
The party continues around you while Felix absentmindedly rubs slow circles against your waist the entire time he talks.
And god, you kind of wish this night never had to end.
Long after the party ends and the hotel quiets down, Felix finds himself wide awake beside you. Maybe itâs because tomorrow means leaving this strange little paradise behind. Or maybe itâs simply because every time he looks at you, he feels too much all at once to sleep properly.
Whatever it is, heâs not surprised when you suddenly lift your head from his chest and whisper, âWant to try the pool before we leave?â
Felix immediately smiles. âYeah. Sure.â
Which is exactly how the two of you end up sneaking through the quiet hotel hallway in the middle of the night trying not to laugh too loudly.
The resort is mostly asleep now, the pathways lit only by dim golden lamps and moonlight reflecting off the water nearby that somehow makes everything feel even more intimate. Like the entire place belongs only to the two of you for a little while longer.
By the time you reach the swimming pool, Felix lets out a soft breath of relief seeing it completely empty.
The pool glows blue beneath the night sky, water shimmering softly under the lights beneath it. Without much thought, Felix pulls his shirt over his head first before tossing it onto one of the loungers nearby. Then he immediately turns toward you, catching you unbuttoning your shirt.
You already know the look on his face âI can take it off myself,â you say with an amused tone.
âI know,â Felix replies easily. âBut I want to do it.â
Your expression melts immediately into that smile heâs quickly becoming addicted to. So you let him.
He gets behind you, slipping his arms under yours, hands reaching to the front of your shirt. Slowly, carefully, his fingers working open the buttons one by one before taking it off from your shoulders. Like he enjoys even the smallest acts of taking care of you.
Once heâs done, he quickly folds your shirt before placing it beside his own on the lounger. Then he steps into the pool first, hissing softly at the cold water until it reaches his knees. Afterward he turns and holds a hand out toward you.
Without hesitation, you take it and let him guides you into the water, one hand steady against your waist while you step down into the pool beside him.
âCold,â you whisper shakily.
Felix warmly laughs at that. âIâll make you warm,â he teasingly says.
Slowly the two of you drift toward the edge of the pool until your back presses against the cool tiled wall. Felix settles between your legs naturally, chest pressed against yours.
And goodness, you look beautiful like this with your hair slightly damp, eyes soft under the pale moonlight, skin glowing blue from the water around you.
Felix stares a little too long before softly murmurs, âYouâre so beautiful.â
A smile blooms on your face and before he can stop himself, he leans forward and steals a quick kiss from you just because he can. Then his hands settle comfortably at your waist while the two of you sway lazily together to the slow rift of water.
For a little while neither of you says anything. Just listening to the quiet of the night around you.
Then Felix sighs softly, âI canât believe vacationâs already over.â
Your lips curl into a dramatic pout. âNo.â
Your arms slide around his shoulders, pulling you even closer to you. âLetâs just stay here forever.â
Felix smiles against your jaw before pressing a light kiss there. âIâm down for that.â
Then another kiss on your lips, a slow, lingering kiss that leaves warmth spreading through his chest afterward and he wishes â God, he wishes â that maybe real life can wait a little longer.
-
FELIX: If I could stay in this vacation forever with her⊠I would. [grins] Unfortunately thatâs not how life works. [wistfully sighs] Weâre going to go home soon. Real lifeâs going to happen. But I have faith in us. In what weâve built together. [smiles] I think weâll figure it out alright. [nods]
-
The water laps softly around the two of you as you stay tangled together near the edge of the pool. Your legs are wrapped around Felixâs waist under the water now, arms looped loosely around his shoulders while his hands rest securely against your thighs.
The night feels impossibly quiet. Thereâs only sound of water, your breathing and his. And being this close to him feels dangerous sometimes. Because the closer you get to Felix, the more terrifying it becomes to imagine losing this.
Your fingers drift lazily through the damp hair at the nape of his neck while he watches you with heavy-lidded eyes, completely relaxed beneath your touch.
He really is beautiful. Even more up close. The bluish pool light catches the freckles dusted across his cheeks and nose, and without thinking about it much, you lift your hand and gently begin tracing them with your fingertip.
Felix smiles immediately. âWhatâre you doing?â he asks softly.
âConnecting the dots.â
He chuckles quietly while letting you continue. Then your finger pauses beneath his eye where the tiny heart-shaped freckle sits. You lean in and press a soft kiss there.
Felixâs smile widens instantly afterward, so fond it almost makes your chest hurt. For a moment he only looks at you quietly and softly, he asks, âIs there anything that makes you nervous about living together?â
The question settles between you and so far, living with Felix has felt weirdly easy. Of course there are a few things about him that donât align with you, but itâs nothing that you canât tolerate. No moments where you suddenly realized you couldnât coexist together.
So you answer honestly and shake your head lightly. âNot really.â
Felixâs expression softens a little at that, but then you continue, a little too honest. âI think what makes me nervous is us going back to reality.â
And thatâs putting it lightly. Because the truth is youâve been dreading it since the moment the final day of vacation started.
You glance away briefly before continuing. âWhen we go homeâŠâ Your fingers absentmindedly smooth against the back of his neck. âWeâre both going to be busy. And I know you work crazy hours sometimes. We probably wonât get to see each other as much as we want.â
The thought alone makes something heavy settle in your chest. âAnd I justâŠâ you sigh softly. âI donât want us to lose this.â
Immediately Felixâs hands tighten slightly against you reassuringly. âWeâll just have to be intentional about it. Like⊠proper time management. Putting work down when we need to.â
You nod in agreement. âYeah.â
Felix brushes away a strand of hair to the side of your face. âWe have to make an actual âus timeâ.â
His thumb tenderly caresses your cheek as he adds. âNo matter how busy things get. We have to make time for us.â
You nod slowly at that and somehow hearing him say it so confidently eases something inside you a little. Before another thought settles, he leans forward and kisses you, lingering enough that your head quiet down for a moment.
When he finally pulls away, his forehead stays resting against yours while both of you breathe the same cool night air. And then softly, almost like heâs admitting something fragile, he murmurs, âMy life is so much better with you in it.â
Your chest aches immediately. The good kind of ache. And youâre sure it comes from being loved too gently. Too sincerely.
Then, Felix softly whispers, âI appreciate you.â
And god, nobody has ever loved you this loudly before. So you kiss him first this time and then whisper it against his lips. âI appreciate you.â
And Felix smiles into the kiss like hearing that from you means everything.
-
YOU: Throughout the whole experiment, we had no phones. No internet. No distractions. My entire focus was just⊠Felix. And when we go home, thereâs going to be work and people and responsibilities. [softly exhales] So yeah, that worries me a little. I think my biggest concern right now is whether heâs actually going to say âI doâ at the altar. [nervously chuckles] If he says no? Iâd be very shocked. Iâm going to be⊠very disappointed. And very devastated. [sadly smiles]
-
âš LOVE IS BLIND: PART THREE is available on Patreon âš
Please support my writings by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!
pairing: student! fem reader x student! jeon jungkook
summary: when you finally get your crushâs number, you expect the start of an epic love storyâ not a random guy making fun of you because he thinks the guy youâve been obsessed with for the last six months gave you a fake number. Jeon Jungkook, the one who replies, finds it entertaining and helps you chase the guy⊠at least until he finds out that the person heâs been helping date another guy is you, the girl heâs been obsessed with for the last two years.
genre/warning: this is a smau fic!! with narration included in some chapter but itâs mostly messages/tweets. very unfunny jokes. this is mostly crack/fluff.
authors note: a lot of grammar mistakes cause iâm too lazy to edit it>_<. a little plot twist there, next chapter the crash out of the century will arrived
chapter index | previous â next.
â chapter six: my name is jungkook
lowkey insane amount of chats. anyway the secret is out heheheh what do u think??
Synopsis:Â You and Felix are contestants in a social experiment where singles meet and date in private pods, allowing them to communicate without seeing each other. (14,1k words)
Author's note: This is it. I'm finally doing another dating show series and I figure that the timing is just perfect cause it's summer of love, baby. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one too âŁïž
HOST: Welcome to Love Is Blind. For the next few weeks, singles will date one another without ever meeting face-to-face. Their only chance at connection lies within the pods â where walls separate them, and all they have are their voices. If they fall in love, theyâll get engaged without ever laying eyes on each other. Only then will they meet, move in together, and ultimately decide, at the altar, if love⊠truly is blind.
-
You fix the strap of your dress for the umpteenth time as a production assistant leads you down a sleek hallway. Your heels click softly against the polished floor, your reflection catching in the walls of tinted glass. Every step brings you closer to a lounge filled with women youâve never met â women who, in the next few weeks, might be your competition, your confidants, or both.
The door swings open, and youâre greeted by a burst of laughter and the clinking of champagne flutes. The lounge is plush and vibrant, couches arranged in a circle, throw pillows scattered like a showroom catalogue. A bar cart gleams in the corner, already stocked with bottles of prosecco.
âHi!â someone calls out cheerfully the moment you step inside. A brunette in a coral dress waves you over, her smile wide and welcoming.
You exhale, pushing away the nerves, and make your way into the group. Names and details fly quickly as everyone introduces themselves.
âIâm Laura. A marketing manager.â
âDaria. Yoga instructor. Iâm here for a real connection, you know?â
âSierra and Iâm here because Iâm tired. I just want to find my husband. ASAP!â
The three women laugh at that, one of them nodding in agreement. When itâs your turn, you clear your throat, forcing a polite smile as you introduce yourself. âIâm a jeweller. And I guess Iâm here for the same reason you all are â to see if this works.â
The other women nod, accepting your answer before the conversation shifts again and more contestants coming. Some of them already sound like best friends, giggling over shared interests, while others sit quietly, scanning the room with thin smiles.
You sink into one of the couches, fingers tapping against your glass. Everyone else seems to carry a kind of bold hope with them â bright-eyed, ready to fall in love with a stranger. You, on the other hand, canât quite shake the voice in your head reminding you that youâve been fine on your own for a long time.
-
YOU: Iâm not really the kind of person who believes in fairy tales, [sheepish smiles] Iâve always been independent. Iâve built my life on my own, and Iâm happy with that. I donât need someone to complete me. But⊠[pauses] [glances away] [looks back to the camera] I also donât want to shut myself off forever. I joined this becauseâ [softly sighs] âI want to give myself one more chance to believe in love. And if this doesnât work too⊠oh, well [shrugs] [lightly chuckles]
-
The menâs lounge has darker tones, leather couches, a wall stacked with liquor, beers and wines. A pool table takes space in oner corner of the room.
Felix steps inside, his loafers squeaking faintly against the floor. His long, blond hair is styled neatly, but his hands are shoved deep in his pockets as he takes in the room. A few men are already gathered near the bar, laughing loudly, slapping each other on the shoulders like old friends even though they only just met.
âYo! New guy!â one of them calls, grinning. âCome join us!â
Felix laughs, a soft sound that rumbles from his chest, and makes his way over. Introductions happen quickly, names flying around with easy camaraderie.
âIâm Rob.â
âShane. Iâm a personal trainer.â
âMusician. Jim.â
When itâs his turn, Felix scratches the back of his neck, suddenly shy under their expectant gazes. âUh, Iâm Felix,â he says with a nervous chuckle. âIâm a chef. But⊠I like cooking just about everything.â
The group hums in approval, one of the guys elbowing him with a grin. âSo youâre the one weâll all be begging to make breakfast for us, huh?â
Felix just shakes his head with a sheepish smile, his accent lacing his words. âWeâll see.â
-
FELIX: People tell me I have this⊠voice [laughs] [shakes head] like it makes me sound confident. But honestly? Iâm not. Not really. I still get nervous around new people. I just hide it well [chuckles] I became a chef because cooking⊠itâs a way to take care of people. To show love without saying it out loud. And I think thatâs what I want here too â someone I can take care of, and whoâll see me for me. Not just my voice, or⊠whatever people think when they first meet me. [Look at the camera] [exhales nervously] I donât know if love is blind. But⊠I want to believe it can be.
-
All the fifteen female contestants have gathered in the lounge and sit comfortably on the curved velvet sofa when the two hosts steps into frame, stopping just on the marked spot, smiling warmly at the contestants before turning slightly toward the camera.
âWelcome to Love Is Blind,â the female host greets, her voice steady with the practiced cadence of someone whoâs said these words dozens of times before. She goes on to introduce herself and the male co-host does the same after.
âYouâre here because youâve all been searching for something real. Something deeper than appearances, deeper than the surface-level dating we all know too well,â she begins. Then briefly looks at everyone, letting the words settle before continuing. âHereâs how it works: Over the next ten days, youâll have the chance to date one another inside our custom-designed pods. Youâll be able to talk, laugh, and share your lives with a stream of potential love interests.â
The male co-host seamlessly takes it over like they rehearsed it beforehand. Maybe the did. âHereâs the catch. Look wonât play a factor here. The only time youâre going to interact is in one of those private pods. Youâre going to be separated by one thin wall.â
The girl sitting next to you lowly gasp like itâs only dawn on her now what sheâs getting herself into.
âYou wonât ever get to see each other. Not until youâve made a connection so strong⊠that one of you decides to propose,â he continues.
Everyone instinctively leaning forward with intrigue, including you. The concept seems absurd to you and that people would do this. That you are doing this.
âIf they accept,â the female host takes it over again. âOnly then will you meet face-to-face for the very first time.â
Your heart dips like you can vividly imagine how it would pan out. Except that your partner is still one big, blurry figure.
âFrom there, youâll go on a romantic getaway, live together, meet each otherâs families, and plan your wedding. And in just a few weeksâ time, youâll stand at the altar and decide⊠whether love truly is blind.â
Just like that? You wonder if itâs that easy. You wonder if it is even achievable at all.You look around and see the other contestants are just as skeptical. But mostly, you notice a mixture of excitement and nerves flickering across their expressions.
The host smiles again, hands clasped in front of her as she brightly smiles. âSo get ready. Because the pods⊠are now open.â
-
YOU: [nervously laughs] Iâm terrified. Like, what am I even doing here? Iâm supposed to walk into this little room and talk to strangers about, I donât know, my life, my dreams, my⊠heart? [shakily exhales]
-
âBecause the pods⊠are now open.â
As soon as the male host announces it, a chorus of reactions fills the menâs lounge immediately â groans, cheers, anxious laughter. Someone downs the rest of his drink dramatically while another mutters, âOh, weâre really doing this.â
Felix laughs under his breath, though his stomach twists nervously at the announcement.
The group slowly makes their way down the glowing hallway together, footsteps echoing in the glowing hallway. Ahead of them, rows of illuminated pod doors stand waiting.
For the first time since arriving, the reality of this experiment settles heavily in Felixâs chest.
Somewhere behind one of those walls could be someone he might fall in love with. Someone he could potentially marry in a matter of weeks. It sounds insane and yetâ
âGood luck, boys,â one of the contestants says, clapping his hands together.
âGo get that wife. Go get that wife. Go get that wife,â the man on his right chants with a fist pumping the air.
Another guy points toward Felix immediately. âHeâs definitely leaving with a wife with that voice.â
Felix groans, face heating instantly as the others cackle. âGuys, please.â
âYeah, bro sounds like he narrates documentaries,â another comments with a teasing chuckle.
Felix doubles over laughing despite himself, shoulders shaking as he hides his face in embarrassment.
âAlright, alright,â someone says between laughs. âSeriously though. Good luck, everyone.â
The group erupts into laughter and soon, it dies down as a soft chime rings through the hallway. One by one, the pod doors begin lighting up.
Felix exhales slowly, adjusting the lapels of his suit jacket before stepping toward his assigned pod. His hand pauses briefly over the handle. Then he opens the door and disappears inside.
-
FELIX: This whole thing is crazy when you really think about it. [smiles] But I donât know. Thereâs also something exciting about it too. The idea that maybeâbehind one of those wallsâis someone I could genuinely connect with. Iâm not expecting perfection. I just⊠[pauses] I hope I meet someone who makes me feel comfortable enough to fully be myself. Someone I can laugh with. Someone I can build something real with. [shyly grins] And hopefully someone who likes food. Because that would help a lot.
-
The pod is nothing like you imagined. Maybe because you focused on the word âpodâ and automatically thought of all-white small, enclosed space with a desk and a chair. But itâs not that at all. Thankfully so.
The pod is spacious. The wall is soundproofed with one wall is made of glowing, glass-like panel which you assume is where youâre facing when youâre talking. Thereâs a couch positioned in the middle of it all with cushions, a blanket and a matching ottoman. Thereâs a cart parked on the side, filled with snacks and selection of drinks from water to soda, even the hard liquor. You go straight for the bowl of candies, hoping that sugar can help you with the nerves.
âHello?â
The sound is heavy and curious, coming from the other side of the room. You stand, freezing for a second with your hand full of candies. This is it. This is your first date. Blind date.
âHello,â you reply, hoping to sound casual but also, welcoming as you sit on the couch.
Thereâs a beat of silence and thenâ
âSo, whoâs there?â he asks, thereâs an ease to his voice, probably making himself comfortable in his pod.
You pop a jelly bean into your mouth and think for a second. âHopefully your future wife,â you playfully answer, grinning to yourself.
Youâre kind of glad that you canât see each other or else you wouldnât even be this relax on the first date.
âOh, hello, future wife!â He greets, lightly chuckling.
And just like that, the search for the one begins.
The whole day, youâre going in and out of pods, talking with different contestants and taking notes on qualities you sought in their personalities as something to ponder on later. Itâs not always a smooth sailing. One guy talks endlessly about his workout routine, another brags about his investments, another tries way too hard to be funny. You laugh politely, asking questions, but your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall more often than not.
On another date, youâre curled into the couch, listening patiently as someone recites his âfive-year planâ like heâs reading off a checklist. You nod, offer a thoughtful response, but thereâs no spark â just surface-level chatter.
By the time you head back to the living quarter, youâre tired because honestly, you never went on so many dates in one day. Also, because, you feel like youâre giving too much already but the results are far from what you expected.
Itâs hard to see that this experiment will be a great success but then again, itâs only the first day.
-
YOU: First day is done and I can honestly say⊠[subtly shakes head] I havenât felt a connection with anyone yet. But I donât think love is something you can force, and I definitely donât want to rush it. If Iâm going to connect with someone, I want it to be real. So yeah. Iâm gonna take things slowly. And hopefully⊠someone here will surprise me. [softly smiles]
-
Felix steps into the pod, his nervous grin so wide it nearly splits his face. He doesnât even explore the pod but plops onto the ouch, staring at the hypnotic glowing wall like if he will himself enough, he could see the person on the other side of the pod.
âIs someone there?â he hesitantly asks after a while.
âOh?!â A surprised gasp comes, and then, the warm, slightly high-pitched voice comes again. âIs that you, God?â
Felixâs Australian accent slipping out stronger when he laughs and he must admit that the boys are right, itâs his voice. But he tries not to rely on it as he goes through one date after another.
On one date, heâs listening intently as a girl lists all her favorite dishes, and he leans forward, excitement lighting up his eyes. âOhh, Iâm actually a chefâ I could make that for you.â
The girl giggles, but it feels light and playful, but thereâs no sparks whatsoever.
On another date, heâs asked about his dream date. He rubs his nape, laughing softly. âHonestly? Nothing fancy. Just cooking together in the kitchen. I guess, that would be nice.â
Later, heâs caught in a long-winded conversation with someone who keeps circling back to her ex. He offers polite hums, but his smile is strained, fingers drumming restlessly on his notebook.
-
FELIX: Day one [pauses] I feel like I talked to so many amazing people, but I didnât really⊠click yet. Not in the way I was hoping for. I think I just want something genuine, you know? Someone I can open up to. Not just about cooking or hobbies orâwhatever. But really open up. I know itâs still early, but⊠I just hope I can find that here. [smiles]
-
The next morning, you shuffle into the kitchen still sleepy, dressed in an oversized sweater and lounge pants, only to immediately hear your name being called.
âFinally,â Daria says dramatically from beside the island counter. âSleeping Beauty lives.â
You laugh softly as she walks over and hooks her arm through yours, guiding you toward the group gathered around the dining table.
âCome sit. Yesterday was emotionally traumatic. We need breakfast support,â she playfully says.
Someone nearby snorts loudly while another contestant, Tabitha, is already pouring orange juice into champagne flutes. Her dark hair is styled in beautiful waves, lips glossy and curled into a smile. If this is a regular dating show, she would have been the first to go home with a man because sheâs that beautiful.
âMimosas at nine in the morning is crazy,â you comment as you sit down.
âItâs self-care,â Tabitha replies solemnly before topping the drink off with champagne anyway.
The atmosphere feels lighter today. More relaxed. Less tense than everyone had been during the first day. Maybe because now all of you understand the rhythm of the experiment a little better. Or maybe because several girls already look suspiciously glowing after yesterdayâs pod dates.
Youâre halfway through your mimosa when a producer calls your name, signaling your next pod date.
âGood luck!â one of the girls teases as you stand. âMaybe this oneâs your future husband.â
You snort softly, having one last sip of mimosa. âThatâs a terrifying sentence.â
The girls laugh as you head toward the glowing hallway of pods, your nerves twisting tighter with every step. You push open the door to your assigned pod and settle onto the couch with a quiet exhale. The room is quiet, softly lit, the wall in front of you glowing blue. Thenâ
âHello?â
The voice is deep. Ridiculously deep. Warm too, like melted chocolate poured straight through the speakers.
âOh,â you blurt before you can stop yourself. âThat voice is unfair.â
Thereâs a beat of silence before a startled laugh bursts from the other side of the wall. âUnfair?â he repeats, amusement curling through the word.
âYou sound like a movie trailer narrator,â you say, leaning back into the couch. âLike you should be saying âcoming this summer.ââ
His laughter grows louder, bright and genuine. âOh my god. Thatâs the first thing you say to me?â
âYou started it by sounding like that.â
âI canât control my voice!â he protests between laughs.
âMm. Convenient excuse.â
Another laugh. Softer this time. Closer somehow. âWell, for what itâs worth, your voice is nice too,â he says.
You narrow your eyes at the wall instinctively. âYou donât have to lie to flirt with me.â
âIâm serious!â His accent slips out more clearly now, warm vowels wrapping around his words.
Cute. You glance down at your notebook, realizing you havenât even written his name yet.
âWait,â you say, laughing lightly. âIâve been bullying your voice this whole time and I donât even know your name.â
âOh, right.â He chuckles sheepishly. âIâm Felix.â
Felix. The name suits him immediately. You introduce yourself back immediately.
âItâs nice to meet you,â he warmly says.
The sincerity in his tone catches you off guard. Youâve had plenty of pod dates already. Conversations that felt rehearsed, awkward, overly polished. But this feels strangely easy like talking to someone youâve known longer than five minutes.
âSo,â Felix says after a moment, âwhatâs your very important opinion on pineapple on pizza?â
You gasp dramatically. âAbsolutely not.â
âWhat?!â
âThatâs a dessert pretending to be dinner.â
âYouâre breaking my heart already.â
âYou asked.â
âIâm a chef,â he says, mock wounded. âThis is devastating for me professionally.â
Your head snaps up. âWait, youâre a chef?â
âYeah.â
âLike⊠a real chef?â
He laughs again. âI think so?â
âOh, thatâs actually really attractive,â you admit before you can stop yourself.
âOh,â his surprise sounds small and flustered.
You grin immediately, realizing you caught him off guard.
âHow many points do I earn from that?â
âUhm⊠five,â you playfully answer, still grinning.
âJust five?â he asks, offended.
âYouâll earn more if you tell me what kind of chef are you,â you say, curling your legs beneath you on the couch.
âMostly pastry,â Felix confidently answers. âBut I cook everything. I just really like feeding people.â
The answer comes so naturally that it makes something soften in your chest.
âFeeding people?â you repeat with a laugh. âThat sounds very grandmother-coded of you.â
He gasps dramatically. âExcuse you. Iâll have you know I make excellent tiramisu.â
âOh, okay,â you say, suddenly serious. âNow weâre talking.â
âYou like tiramisu?â
âI would genuinely risk my life for good tiramisu.â
Felix bursts into laughter again, loud and delighted. âThatâs such a dramatic statement.â
âItâs true.â
âAnd how many points do I earn from that?â he curiously asks. âItâs gotta be more than five.â
You donât even hesitate. âSolid ten!â
âOh, yeah,â Felix cheers, more like a growl than anything.
âI wouldnât celebrate yet. You only earned fifteen points so far,â you remind him, a chuckle spilled out at the end of the sentence.
âAlright then,â he says playfully. âWhatâs your ultimate comfort food?â
You hum thoughtfully. âInstant ramen.â
âNo way.â
âYes way.â
âYou had all the food in the world and picked instant ramen?â
âOkay, first of all, donât judge me,â you defend immediately. âSecond, specifically the spicy kind at two in the morning when life feels terrible.â
Felix laughs softly. âThatâs⊠actually very real.â
âAnd yours?â
Thereâs a tiny pause before he answers. âMy momâs brownies.â
The softness in his voice changes the atmosphere instantly. You can almost picture his smile through the wall. âShe used to make them whenever me or my sisters had a bad day. So now I make them for other people too.â
âThatâs really sweet,â you murmur before you can stop yourself.
A shy laugh comes from the other side. âThanks.â
âYou almost burned your kitchen down making pasta?â Felix asks through his laughter.
âIn my defense, I was tired.â
âYou forgot the pasta, didnât you?â
âMaybe.â
âAmateur moves.â
His laughter fills the pod completely now, warm and infectious enough that you find yourself laughing with him, shoulders loosening for what feels like the first time since entering the experiment.
And when the chime signaling the end of the date finally rings, disappointment flickers through you before you can hide it.
âOh,â Felix says softly. âTimeâs up already?â
You hate that the little note of disappointment in his voice makes your stomach flip. âGuess so.â
A pause settles between you and thenâ
âI hope I get to talk to you again,â Felix says quietly.
Something warm unfurls in your chest. âYeah,â you answer before you can overthink it. âMe too.â
The line disconnects and somehow, the pod suddenly feels quieter than before.
-
YOU: Felix is funny. Likeâactually funny, not trying-too-hard funny. [softly laughs] And his voice is⊠[groans] See? Now Iâm sitting here thinking about some guyâs voice. [laughs] Anyway, that was the first conversation that didnât feel forced. I didnât feel like I had to perform or impress him. It just felt⊠easy. And the way Felix talks⊠I donât know. It feels warm.
-
Felix practically floats out of the pod.
The hallway feels warmer somehow, lighter, his grin impossible to hold back no matter how hard he tries to bite it down. He ducks his head as he walks back toward the menâs living quarters, the notebook tucked beneath his arm.
He can still hear your laugh in his head. Still picture the way your voice had softened when he talked about his momâs brownies. Still feel that weird little flutter in his chest every time you said his name.
Itâs ridiculous. Heâs smiling over someone heâs never even seen before.
The second he walks back into the lounge, a few of the guys immediately notice the expression on his face.
âOhhh, look at him!â one of them calls from the dining table. âThatâs not the face of a man who had a bad date.â
Another contestant points at him accusingly. âBroâs glowing.â
Felix groans immediately, laughing as he drops onto one of the dining chairs. âPlease leave me alone.â
âNope,â someone says, sliding a glass of wine toward him across the table. âSit down and tell us everything.â
Felix accepts the glass with an embarrassed grin while the guys gather around, all loose limbs and curious energy after a long day of pod dates.
âSo?â one of them presses. âWhat happened?â
Felix shakes his head once, still smiling to himself before finally admitting quietly, âI thinkâŠâ He laughs softly in disbelief. âI think I mightâve found my main person here.â
The table immediately erupts in loud, chaotic cheers.
Felix hides his face briefly behind his wine glass, shoulders shaking with shy laughter.
âItâs justââ he starts, trying to explain himself. âTalking to her felt easy. Like⊠really easy. I wasnât trying to impress her or think about what to say next. We just clicked.â
âWhatâs she like?â another guy asks.
Felix leans back in his chair slightly, thinking about it.
âSheâs funny,â he says first, almost immediately. âLike, genuinely funny. And sheâs really smart too. But not in an intimidating way.â He pauses, smiling softly to himself. âShe just feels very⊠grounded.â
âAnd hot,â one of the guys teases. âYouâre imagining sheâs hot, arenât you?â
Felix groans loudly while the table bursts into laughter again. âThatâs literally the opposite point of this experiment!â
âBut are you?â
He tries to fight his smile and fails miserably. âI mean⊠Maybe a little,â he admits with a sheepish shrug.
The guys howl immediately.
âNah, heâs gone.â
âFirst casualty of the season.â
Felix shakes his head, laughing helplessly while someone raises their wine glass dramatically. âTo mysterious pod girl!â
The others quickly lift their glasses too. âTo Felixâs future wife!â
âOh my god, stop,â Felix whines through laughter, though his cheeks are bright red now.
Still, he lifts his own glass with a shy smile, clinking it gently against theirs. And somewhere beneath all the teasing and laughter, something floods his chest.
Hope.
-
FELIX: I know it sounds crazy because it was literally just one conversation [laughs] but⊠there was something different about her. She teased me immediately, by the way [laughs] Like instantly [laughs] But I liked that. I liked that she didnât sound overly polished or fake. She just sounded⊠real. [grins] I really hope I get to talk to her again.
-
Itâs been an eventful day for you and it seems like for a few other people too.
You and Morgan are sitting in the dining table, sharing a plate of sliced fruits with a glass of wine. Both in comfortable clothes, no makeup on, just two girls conversing after a day packed with pod dates.
âJim really is my type,â Morgan shares, picking up a grape from the plate. âFirst of all, heâs a musician.â
You chuckle at that because you clearly remember the way Jim cracked a dad joke as an opening on a pod date with you. âYeah, thatâs a plus point,â you nicely comment.
âAnd he said heâs got tattoos,â Morgan continues, her heart-shaped lips curve into a smile. âAnd that he left spaces on his body for tattoos of his future children.â
âOh?â you genuinely intrigued by that, not expecting that a person like Jim would have such heartwarming thinking. Then, you playfully add, âOkay, but⊠on which part of his body?â
Morgan laughs at that, itâs sonorous and filled with cute little snort in between. And it goes on for a minute that she almost spit the grape sheâs chewing.
Another girl joins you in the dining table, holding a steaming mug of tea in her hand. You canât quite recall her name but sheâs the only one with a beautiful strawberry blonde hair. âDo you know this one guy with, like, the deepest voice ever?â
Your hand slightly tightens around the stem of your wine glass. âYeah,â you manage to casually answer.
âOh my god, wait,â Morgan cuts in after sipping her wine. âWas it the Australian guy?â
âYes!â
Your stomach twists unexpectedly.
âHe sounds unreal,â she continues, smiling dreamily. âAnd we had such a good conversation earlier.â
You stare down into your wine, suddenly far too aware of how many women are in this room. Of how all of you are dating the same group of men. Of course Felix is talking to other girls. Thatâs the entire point of the experiment. Still, hearing someone else gush about him leaves an uncomfortable tightness curling low in your chest.
But youâre not losing hope yet. Maybe beside Felix, there really is someone else here worth opening up to.
-
YOU: See, this is why I didnât want to get attached to anyone right away. [lightly shrugs] But thatâs okay. Thereâs still time. I feel like Iâm finally settling into the experiment now. And hopefully⊠Hopefully Iâll meet more people I genuinely connect with.
-
Felix is smiling before he even enters the pod. Itâs embarrassing, honestly.
One conversation with you and suddenly heâs fixing his hoodie twice in the reflection of the hallway glass and wondering if his hair looks stupid despite the fact that you canât even see him.
The pod door slides shut behind him with a soft hiss. He settles onto the couch, heart already thumping a little faster in anticipation. Then he hears a soft sigh from the other side of the wall and his smile appears instantly.
âHey,â he greets warmly. âHowâre you feeling today?â
A tiny laugh leaves you. âStill a little surreal, honestly.â
Felix leans back against the couch, smiling to himself at your soft, almost sleepy voice. âYeah, I get that.â
Thereâs a small pause before he suddenly grins wider. âGuess what.â
âWhat?â you ask cautiously.
âIâve been thinking about you.â
Your laughter bursts through the speakers immediately, bright and disbelieving, and Felix physically feels his chest loosen at the sound.
God. He likes your laugh so much.
âAre you this cheesy in the morning?â you ask between laughs.
âNo, Iâm serious!â Felix insists, grinning helplessly now. âI was literally thinking about our conversation all night.â
âWell,â you say playfully, âIâd love to say Iâve been thinking about you too, but another girl already did the job for me.â
Felix drops his head to the side. âWait, what?â
âThereâs apparently a guy with a really deep voice that all the girls are obsessed with.â
Felix groans loudly, dropping his head into his hand while you laugh softly on the other side of the wall. âOh, no.â
âSo,â you continue innocently, âsounds like youâre popular.â
A grin spreads across Felixâs face. âAre you jealous?â he asks teasingly.
Your scoff comes immediately. âNo.â
âMm.â
âIâm just wondering when will it be my turn.â
âYou turn for what?â
âTo think about you.â
Felix bursts into laughter at that, warm and genuine. Okay. Yeah. He really likes you.
âThatâs fair,â he says once his laughter settles. âThis is our second date now.â
âIt is.â
âAnd I kind of want to pick up where we left off yesterday.â
Your voice softens immediately. âYeah. Sure.â
The warmth in your tone lingers with him for a second before Felix shifts slightly on the couch.
âSo,â he says curiously, âI know you can cook.â
You laugh. âThatâs a very confident assumption.â
âYou almost burned your kitchen down making pasta. That means you at least attempted cooking.â
âThatâs true.â
Felix grins. âDo you actually enjoy cooking though? Or is it just⊠a skill you picked up?â
The silence that follows feels different. Felix hears you inhale softly on the other side of the wall before you finally answer.
âI think it became necessary more than anything.â
His expression softens immediately, ears intently listening in on every noise you make on the other side of the pod.
âMy mom worked a lot growing up,â you explain quietly. âLike⊠a lot. So she didnât really have time to cook when she came home.â
You pause for a second before continuing. âI kind of just learned because I had to. I started cooking for myself when I was around ten.â
Something twists painfully in Felixâs chest. He can almost picture it too clearly â a younger version of you standing alone in a kitchen trying to figure things out yourself. And judging by the slight tightness in your voice, he knows thereâs probably much more to that story. But he also knows better than to push.
So instead, Felix smiles softly to himself and asks gently, âOkay, then whatâs the first dish you successfully made?â
Your laugh returns, lighter this time. âAn omelet.â
âThatâs impressive for a ten-year-old.â
âI had it literally every morning before school because it was fast and easy.â
Felix chuckles softly. âHonestly? Thatâs kind of nice though.â
âYeah,â you admit quietly. âIt wasnât bad.â
A comfortable silence settles briefly between you before Felix asks, âWhat is the one dish that you think is your best?â
You hum thoughtfully. âProbably pasta alla vodka.â
Felix laughs instantly. âYou really are a pasta girl, huh?â
âProudly.â
âWell,â he says confidently, leaning back against the couch, âgood thing Iâm good at Italian food.â
âOh, donât say that.â
âWhy?â
âBecause then Iâll make you cook for me every day.â
Felix doesnât even hesitate. âIâd gladly do it.â
The silence returns but itâs not awkward at all. And when you finally answer, your voice comes softer than before.
âOkay,â you warmly say, âNo takebacks.â
Felix laughs that at that and warmth spreads through his chest so suddenly it almost catches him off guard. Because for one stupid second, he can picture you sitting on the counter while he cooks. Your voice filling the apartment. Late-night pasta dinners and warmth that feels achingly domestic. And the craziest part is, he still has no idea what you look like.
The chime signaling the end of the date rings far too soon.
Felix actually frowns at it this time. âNooo,â he groans dramatically.
Your laughter spills through the speakers again. âYou sound genuinely upset.â
âI am genuinely upset.â
âPoor thing.â
âYouâll miss me too.â
âMaybe.â
Felix grins helplessly at the wall until the line finally disconnects and somehow, he leaves the pod feeling even more certain than yesterday.
-
FELIX: I really, really enjoyed talking to her again. I think what I like most is that our conversations donât feel shallow. Like yeah, we joke around a lot and tease each other, but I also feel like she lets her guard down with me sometimes. Even if itâs just little moments. Thatâs great. That means that she trusts me, sheâs comfortable with me. Do I think weâre building something? [slowly nods] Yeah. I really do. And I just hope she feels the same way about me too.
-
By the time the dayâs pod dates are over, the womenâs living quarters have settled into a quieter, softer atmosphere. The lights are dimmed low, the girls wander around in oversized sweaters and fuzzy socks, emotionally drained from another day of intense conversations.
Youâre curled up on one end of the couch beneath a shared blanket with Daria tucked beside you, both of you nursing half-finished glasses of wine. Thereâs not to do since they have taken all kind of devices from all contestants.
Daria nudges your foot lightly beneath the blanket. âYou seem happier today.â
You glance sideways at her suspiciously. âYou say that like you caught me doing something illegal.â
âI caught you smiling at absolutely nothing earlier.â
You snort quietly into your wine glass. âitâs nothing.â
Daria grins smugly before settling deeper into the couch cushions. For a moment, the two of you simply sit there listening to the low buzz of conversation around the room. Then you lower your voice slightly, just enough for only her to hear.
âYou know whatâs weird?â
âWhat?â
You stare ahead thoughtfully, fingers playing absentmindedly with the edge of the blanket. âIâm actually glad we canât see them.â
Dariaâs expression softens immediately, understanding flickering across her face. âYeah?â
You nod slowly.
âI thinkâŠâ You hesitate briefly, trying to explain the feeling properly. âIf I could see them, Iâd probably be distracted by stupid things. Whether theyâre attractive or how they react to me physically or whatever.â
Daria hums in agreement.
âBut like thisâŠâ Your voice grows quieter. âItâs weirdly relaxing. Easier to talk about deeper things.â
You laugh softly under your breath. âI donât usually open up this quickly.â
Daria pulls the blanket tighter around herself as she nods thoughtfully. âHonestly, same.â
She leans her head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. âI think thatâs why this experiment works for some people. Out there, everyoneâs too distracted. Looks, jobs, status, chemistry.â
You glance toward her as she continues.
âBut in here?â Daria shrugs lightly. âPeople actually have to see you. Your personality. The essential part of you.â
Maybe Daria is right and maybe thatâs why talking to Felix feels different. Not because heâs charming or because of his stupidly attractive voice, but because when you talk to him, it genuinely feels like heâs listening. Like heâs trying to know you in ways most people donât bother to.
Daria nudges you again, pulling you from your thoughts. âSo,â she says casually, though her grin gives her away completely, âhave you actually found a connection with someone?â
You huff softly, already knowing thereâs no point pretending otherwise.
âThereâs this guy,â you admit carefully. âHis nameâs Felix.â
The second you say his name out loud, warmth spreads embarrassingly fast through your chest again.
âHeâsâŠâ You pause, searching for the right word. âEasy.â
Daria raises an eyebrow.
âNot easy easy,â you clarify immediately, making her burst into laughter. âI mean talking to him feels easy.â
âMhm.â
You roll your eyes at her expression but continue anyway. âHe actually listens when I talk. And I donât feel like I have to filter myself around him.â
Your fingers tighten slightly around your wine glass as you think about your conversation earlier. About how gently Felix handled the parts of your childhood you almost accidentally revealed.
âHe sees me without actually seeing me,â you murmur quietly.
Heat creeps into your face immediately. âDonât make it weird.â
âI mean it.â
You groan softly, hiding part of your face beneath the blanket while Daria laughs beside you.
Still, after a moment, you sigh quietly. âThe only problem isâŠâ
âWhat?â
You stare down into your glass. âI know at least one other girl likes him too.â
Daria hums thoughtfully at that, though she doesnât look particularly surprised. âWell,â she says simply, âitâs Love Is Blind. Everyoneâs dating everyone.â
âI know.â
âAnd?â
You shrug lightly. âI donât know. Iâm not really worried about it though.â
Which is surprisingly true. Because despite the weird flicker of jealousy from earlier, you donât actually want to compete for someoneâs attention. Not here. Not ever.
If Felix chooses someone else, then thatâs that. But if what the two of you have is genuinely real, then maybe itâll naturally find its way back to each other.
-
YOU: I talked to Felix again today. [shyly laughs] Okay, wow. The fact that his name comes out that easily now is probably a bad sign. I know other girls like him. I mean⊠obviously. Heâs kind, funny, emotionally available, and sounds like that. [laughs] But I donât really believe in fighting over people. If someoneâs meant for you, theyâll naturally come your way. And if Felix and I are actually building something real⊠[smiles] Then I trust that.
-
By the third day, Felix realizes he can tell when itâs you before you even speak.
Itâs something small and subtle. Itâs the quiet little sigh you always let out after settling onto the couch. So the second he enters the pod and hears that familiar exhale from the other side of the wall, his lips immediately curve upward.
âHey,â he greets softly.
Your response comes almost instantly this time, equally gentle. âHi.â
And there it is againâ
That stupid warmth spreading through his chest at nothing more than your voice.
âHowâre you doing today?â you ask.
Felix leans back against the couch, smiling to himself. âHonestly?â
âMhm?â
âI think about you a lot.â
A soft laugh leaves you immediately. âThatâs good. Because Iâve been thinking about you too,â you so casually say.
Felix grins wider and teases, âBut itâs not your turn yet.â
You groan dramatically. âI get impatient.â
His laughter escapes before he can stop it, low and entirely helpless. And god, the butterflies are worse today. Every time you flirt back, every time you say something that sounds remotely fond, it feels like his heart physically stumbles inside his chest.
A comfortable silence settles between you for a moment before Felix speaks again. âThis is our third date now.â
You coo teasingly. âOh? And what do you usually do on third dates?â
Felix doesnât even hesitate. âI usually ask how many kids do we want.â
Your snort echoes loudly through the pod. âWow. Youâre really forward.â
Felix shrugs even though you canât see it, grinning shamelessly. âI mean, itâs up to you of course.â
âOh, how generous.â
âBut,â he continues casually, âI do want a big family.â
Thereâs a suspicious pause from your side of the wall. âHow big are we talking?â
Felix hums thoughtfully. âMaybe⊠seven?â
Your gasp is immediate. Horrified. âSEVEN?!â
Felix bursts into laughter while you continue sputtering dramatically.
âThatâs not a family anymore, Felix. Thatâs a small village.â
âTheyâd be cute though.â
âAre you planning to make them your little minions in the kitchen?â
âYeah,â Felix says easily.
You groan loudly while he laughs harder.
âOkay, okay,â he relents eventually. âWe can negotiate.â
âThree,â you say firmly. âThree sounds perfect.â
Felix smiles softly to himself. âYeah. Three sounds nice actually.â
The conversation quiets after that, softer now beneath the joking and then your voice changes slightly.
âNo matter how many kids I have one dayâŠâ You pause briefly. âI just want to make sure they always well-taken care of.â
Felixâs smile slowly fades into something gentler.
âI want to always be there for them,â you continue quietly. âI want them to always feel like theyâre loved unconditionally.â
Something in his chest aches immediately. Because he hears the unspoken part beneath your words. The child version of you still lingering somewhere behind them.
And suddenly Felix understands a little more about why you learned to be so independent. Why you hold yourself together so tightly. His voice softens instinctively. âYouâd be a really good mom.â
Silence.
âAnd weâd be good parents. I know we would,â he adds quietly.
The words slip out more naturally than they probably should. But the terrifying thing is he means them. And for a brief second, he actually imagines it. You and him living in a house while tiny footsteps run around the space, children who always know theyâre loved. The image etches in the back of his mind without him intending to.
Neither of you speak for a while after that. But it doesnât feel awkward at all. Itâs content. Like something is slowly growing between the two of you in the quiet.
Felix swallows softly before finally speaking again. âYou knowâŠâ He pauses, searching carefully for the right words. âI came here because Iâm not just looking for a wife. Or a partner, exclusively.â
Your breathing quiets on the other side of the wall, intently listening.
âI came here ready for love,â he admits honestly. âReal love.â
His fingers tighten slightly around the sleeve of his hoodie. âAnd I have so much love in me that I want to share with someone.â
A quiet breath leaves him.
âI like you a lot.â
The confession lands gently between you.
âAnd I really hope youâre that someone.â
For one terrifying second, Felix thinks maybe he said too much. Maybe too soon. Then he hears the sniffles. His entire expression softens instantly.
And finally, your shaky voice reaches him through the speakers. âI like you too,â you whisper.
Another sniffle. âA lot.â
Something blooms so painfully warm inside Felixâs chest that it almost hurts. Hope. Joy. Relief. Theyâre all mixed together. His grin spreads helplessly across his face as he leans forward, elbows on his knees.
âI really wish I could hug you right now,â he says softly.
Your answer comes almost embarrassingly tiny, almost like a whisper. âMe too.â
Felix smiles so hard his cheeks ache. âYou can hug the cushion for me. Pretend itâs me,â he playfully suggests.
Your laugh breaks through immediately, watery and soft from crying. âThatâs so lame.â
âBut are you doing it?â
Silence hangs for a good minute and then, you finally answer, âMaybe.â
Felix laughs quietly to himself, warmth practically overflowing from his chest now and for the first time since entering this experiment, he thinks he understands why people fall in love in these pods.
-
FELIX: It feels really good knowing she feels the same way. I think before today, there was always this tiny fear in the back of my mind that maybe I was falling harder than she was. [Softly laughs] But hearing her say she likes me too⊠[lightly shakes head] God. I donât even know what she looks like yet and somehow, I already care about her this much. [grins]
-
The pod feels unbearably quiet after the date ends. You stay there for a moment even after the line disconnects, curled around the cushion you absolutely did hug despite making fun of Felix for suggesting it. Your chest still feels tight, aching in a way you donât quite know how to explain. Because no oneâs ever spoken to you like that before. Like heâs already imagining a future with you in it.
You press your palms briefly against your cheeks, exhaling shakily before finally forcing yourself to stand. The moment the pod door slides open and the glowing hallway greets you, only then do you realize your hands are actually trembling.
You take exactly three steps into the hallway before another pod door opens nearby.
Tabitha steps out at almost the same time, smiling when her eyes eventually land on you.
âHey.â
You laugh weakly. âHi.â
Without even hesitating, Tabitha walks over and loops an arm around your shoulders as the two of you begin slowly making your way down the glowing hallway together.
âGirl, youâre shaking. Are you okay?â she asks immediately, voice tinted with concern.
You glance down at your hands like youâre only now noticing it yourself. âIâŠâ You exhale softly through a nervous laugh. âOpening up is so scary.â
Tabitha giggles immediately, squeezing your shoulder tighter against her side. âOh no,â she teases dramatically. âYou look like youâre about to faint.â
You laugh despite yourself, leaning into her slightly as the two of you continue walking.
âI genuinely might.â
You laugh helplessly while she continues grinning beside you. Not everyone here understands. The emotional whiplash of these pods. The terrifying intimacy of being known by someone youâve never even seen. And maybe thatâs why your chest still feels so fragile right now.
Because somewhere between talking about childhood breakfasts and future children and unconditional love, you accidentally let Felix see parts of you that almost nobody gets to touch and most importantly, he didnât run from them.
-
YOU: Iâm very used to keeping my emotions together. Like⊠even when I really like someone, I usually hold back for a long time. I donât put too much emotion into things right away because I think part of me is always trying to protect myself first. [Softly exhales] But with Felix⊠I donât know [sheepishly laughs] Talking to him makes me feel safe enough to say things I normally wouldnât. That conversation today was probably the most vulnerable Iâve ever been with someone.
-
By the next few days, talking to you becomes the easiest part of Felixâs routine.
He wakes up. Think about you. Eat breakfast while wondering if youâre awake yet. Wait impatiently for the pod schedule and then finally, hear your voice again. At this point, heâs pretty sure the guys have noticed too. Mostly because every time your name appears on his schedule, he gets up so fast itâs embarrassing.
Today is no different. Felix enters the pod already smiling to himself, settling comfortably onto the couch with far less nervousness than he had during the first few dates. Because somehow, these conversations stopped feeling like dates. Now they just feel like⊠you. And him.
âHi,â you greet softly the second the line connects.
Felixâs chest warms instantly. âHey.â
âHow was your day?â
âBetter now.â
You groan immediately from the other side of the wall. âYouâre getting smoother.â
Felix laughs proudly. âThank you.â
âNo, that was criticism.â
âMhm. Sure.â
Your laughter spills through the speakers again, and Felix sinks deeper into the couch cushions, smiling helplessly at the sound.
God. He really likes making you laugh.
âSo,â you say after a moment, your tone softer now. âTell me something about you I donât know yet.â
Felix hums thoughtfully, tapping his fingers lightly against his knee. âThereâs honestly a lot.â
âOkay, mysterious man.â
âItâs true,â he protests through a laugh. âI feel like we always end up talking about you.â
âThatâs because you interrogate me emotionally.â
âI do not.â
âYou made me talk about my sad omelets.â
Felix laughs so hard he nearly folds into himself. âThatâs not emotional interrogation.â
âIt kinda was.â
Still grinning, he shakes his head before answering more quietly this time. âI grew up really close to my family. Like⊠really close.â
Your voice softens immediately. âYeah?â
âMhm.â
A warmth spreads through his chest just talking about them, fondness dripping from his voice. âMy momâs basically the heart of our family. And Iâve always been really close with my sisters too. Our house was loud all the time.â
You laugh softly. âThat explains the seven kids.â
Felix grins instantly. âExactly.â
âBut honestlyâŠâ He leans his head back against the couch, thinking. âI didnât always know I wanted to become a chef.â
âOh?â
âNah. I wanted to be like ten different things growing up.â
âPlease tell me at least one was ridiculous.â
Felix laughs. âOkay, when I was really young, I wanted to be Spider-Man.â
Your laughter erupts immediately. âThatâs not a career, Felix.â
âIt was to me,â he weakly defends and laughs along with you before continuing. âThen I wanted to be a singer for a while. Then a gamer. Then a taekwondo instructor.â
âWow,â you say solemnly. âYou contain multitudes.â
âThank you.â
âBut howâd you end up becoming a chef?â
The question settles between you and somehow, answering you feels strangely intimate now. Like heâs not speaking through a wall at all. Like youâre sitting beside him on the couch instead.
Felix closes his eyes briefly as he speaks. âI think food was just⊠always there for me,â he admits quietly. âCooking made me feel calm. And happy.â
A small smile pulls at his lips as he continues, âAnd I liked seeing people smile after eating something I made.â
Your voice softens almost immediately. âThatâs very you.â
Felixâs eyes open slowly. âWhat does that mean?â
âYou love through taking care of people.â
The words hit him embarrassingly hard. Because somehow, you understand him already. More than some people whoâve physically known him for years.
âYeah, I think I do,â he agrees, laughing softly, suddenly shy again.
The silence returns but it feels warm instead of empty and Felix realizes something terrifying halfway through your conversation. He doesnât even notice the cameras anymore when he talks to you. Only your voice. Only you.
-
FELIX: I always look forward to talking to her. [Brightly smiles] But itâs true. I think what surprises me most is how comfortable she makes me feel. With some people, opening up feels scary because youâre worried theyâll misunderstand you or judge you or⊠[slightly shrugs] Not really get you. But when I talk to her, I donât feel that way. [Shakes his head] [smiles] Thatâs becoming really dangerous for me emotionally.
-
The conversation continues easily after that like it always does with Felix now. At some point, you stop noticing the cameras entirely. Stop noticing the walls, the strange artificial glow of the pod around you.
Thereâs only his voice. Comforting in a way that sneaks up on you slowly. You curl deeper into the couch, knees tucked against your chest while Felix tells stories from his childhood, about his sisters and parents. And listening to the way he talks about his family, with such fondness and warmth, you can tell why he is who he is â kind and gentle. Loving.
âYouâre lucky your voice is pretty.â
Felix gasps dramatically. âYou objectify me constantly.â
You laugh softly, shaking your head even though he canât see it and then somehow, the conversation shifts again. âI actually donât remember a lot about my childhood,â you admit quietly after a pause.
Itâs always like this. One moment youâre joking, the next youâre sitting with something fragile between the two of you.
âI thinkâŠâ You frown slightly, thinking out loud more than anything. âTalking to you lately made me realize something weird.â
âHmm?â Felix hums gently.
You stare at the glowing wall ahead of you. âI canât remember ever playing with my parents as a kid.â
Your chest tightens almost instantly afterward, vulnerability creeping up your spine too quickly. So you laugh softly under your breath and shake your head.
âSorry, I feel like I always come to you with sad stories,â you mumble.
âNo,â Felix says immediately. The firmness in his voice makes you pause. âTheyâre not sad.â
A quiet silence follows before he continues more gently. âTheyâre part of why youâre strong.â
You quietly swallow down the lump forming in your throat.
âAnd different,â he adds softly. âIn a good way.â
You press your lips together, containing your sadness.
âThey made you who you are today.â
Something warm blooms painfully in your chest at the way he says it. Like he genuinely means it. Like he sees every complicated piece of you and still sounds fond. You smile helplessly to yourself, trying to lighten the feeling before it overwhelms you again.
âJeez, Felix,â you mutter softly, playfully. âStop flirting with me.â
Felix chuckles warmly through the speakers. âIâm serious though.â
âYeah, yeah,â you say, subtly rolling your eyes.
A comfortable silence settles briefly before Felix suddenly says, âI wish I knew you when we were little.â
Your expression softens instantly. âYeah?â
âMhm.â
You can practically hear his smile through the wall.
âI think we wouldâve played together.â
You snort softly. âPlayed what?â
âI donât know. Restaurant probably.â
You laugh immediately. âLet me guess. Youâd force me to be your employee?â
âNo,â Felix says easily. âYouâd be my wife already.â
Your jaw drops open in disbelief while he laughs proudly at your reaction.
âWeâd be high school sweethearts,â he continues shamelessly. âAlready married by now.â
âWith seven children?â
âExactly.â
You bury your face briefly into the couch cushion as his laughter grows louder.
âAnd all our kids would help at the family restaurant,â he continues, fully committed now. âTiny aprons. Tiny chef hats.â
âThat sounds like child labor.â
âThat sounds like teamwork.â
You laugh so hard your stomach hurts. âYouâve actually thought this through.â
Felix hums smugly. âI have a vivid imagination.â
âClearly.â
Still smiling, you shake your head fondly before teasing lightly, âAnyway, thatâs impossible. We couldnât have been childhood friends.â
âWhy not?â
âYou grew up with kangaroos in Australia.â
Felix bursts into helpless laughter immediately. âNot the kangaroo allegations again.â
âIâm just saying. Your best friend was probably a koala.â
âThatâs not how Australia works!â
The two of you dissolve into laughter again until your cheeks hurt and your chest feels lighter than it has in days. And when the laughter finally fades away, silence settles softly between you once more.
You stare quietly at the glowing wall ahead of you before speaking without really thinking first. âI think we met at the right time.â
âYeah,â Felix agrees. âI think so too.â
A beat passes in silence again and he decides to playfully add, âNow all we have left to do is get married and have seven kids.â
You burst into laughter again immediately. âYou are unbelievably persistent.â
âNo,â Felix corrects casually. âIâm just goal-oriented.â
Your smile grows helplessly wider. âI havenât agreed to any of this, by the way.â
âTrue,â he says easily. âBut you also havenât said no.â
Your mouth opens instinctively and then closes again. Because annoyingly enough, heâs right and youâre not even sure you want to say no.
-
YOU: Iâm starting to picture him in my future. [Shyly laughs] Which sounds insane because I still havenât seen him. When Felix talks about the future, it doesnât scare me as usually it does. Iâve spent most of my life feeling like I had to handle everything on my own. Like depending on people was dangerous because eventually they leave or disappoint you or⊠You just learn not to expect too much. But when he talks about taking care of people, or building a family, or cooking for me every day⊠[smiles] It feels really easy to imagine.
-
The menâs living quarter is never silent but somehow, itâs quieter tonight.
Felix sits on the leather sofa with a drink resting loosely in his hand and across from him, Jim leans back in the single sofa with a tired sigh, rubbing both hands over his face.
âYou okay?â Felix asks gently.
Jim laughs weakly. âMan, I donât know.â
Felix does know. This experiment has a way of pulling emotions out of people so quickly it almost feels violent sometimes.
Jim stares down into his drink for a second before finally admitting quietly, âIâm torn between two people.â
Felix remembers Jim ever mentioned a girl he had a pod date with the other day and nods slowly. âMorgan?â
âYeah.â
âWhoâs the other one?â Felix curiously asks.
âLaura.â
Felix nods and sips his drink.
A frustrated breath leaves Jim as he leans forward, elbows resting against his knees.
âTheyâre both incredible in completely different ways.â He shakes his head. âAnd I hate that Iâm hurting someone no matter what choice I make.â
Felix listens quietly, thumb brushing absentmindedly against the condensation on his glass.
âWhat if I choose wrong?â Jim asks after a moment.
The vulnerability in his voice makes Felixâs chest ache a little. Because everyone here is terrified of that. Terrified that the person theyâre falling for might not actually be their person.
Felix stays quiet for a beat before answering softly, âI think you just gotta listen to what speaks to your heart the most.â
Jim glances up at him.
âNot what makes the most sense on paper,â Felix continues thoughtfully. âOr who you think you should choose.â
He shrugs lightly.
âWhen you picture your future, whose voice naturally shows up first?â
Jim goes quiet after that, solemnly thinking. Then slowly, he nods. âYeah,â he murmurs, the real answer remains a mystery.
A small smile tugs at Felixâs lips before Jim suddenly points at him accusingly. âOkay, enough about me though.â
Felix laughs softly. âWhat?â
âHow are things going with you and mystery wife?â
Heat instantly creeps into Felixâs face despite himself. He ducks his head with a quiet laugh before answering honestly. âWeâve just been talking a lot,â he says softly.
His expression grows gentler without him realizing it. âThe more I get to know her, the surer I feel about her, about it.â
Jim watches him quietly, no teasing in his face this time. Just genuine warmth.
Felix exhales softly, staring down at his drink. âI think sheâs the person Iâve been looking for.â
The words are simple, but theyâre honest and real.
Jim smiles immediately afterward, small but sincere. âIâm happy for you, man.â
Something about the simplicity of it makes Felixâs chest tightens. Because the craziest part is, he is happy. Terrified, overwhelmed, emotionally confused half the time, but happy.
âSo⊠are you gonna propose soon?â Jim casually asks.
Felix stills. Not because he doesnât know the answer. But because hearing the question out loud suddenly makes him wonder why heâs hesitating at all.
What exactly is he waiting for?
He already knows how he feels. Every conversation with you only pulls him closer. Every laugh, every vulnerable confession, every quiet little moment through that wall.
When he imagines leaving this experiment, youâre there automatically now.
So why does the word soon suddenly make his heartbeat spike?
Felix lifts his gaze toward Jim again and this time, when he answers, thereâs no uncertainty left in him.
âYeah,â he says confidently.
A slow smile spreads across his face afterward. âYeah. I am.â
Jim immediately breaks into a grin before leaning over and giving Felix a gentle slap against the shoulder. âThatâs what Iâm talking about.â
Felix softly laughs, nerves and excitement tangling together inside his chest now.
âGood luck, brother,â Jim says sincerely.
And for the first time since entering this experiment, Felix realizes heâs not scared of the answer anymore.
-
FELIX: I feel like Iâve spent the last few days trying to understand whether what Iâm feeling is real or if Iâm just caught up in the experiment. But every time I talk to her, things get clearer instead of more confusing. And I think that says a lot. I know what my heart wants. [Smiles] and Iâm really sure about her. So yeah [Awkwardly laughs] I think Iâm ready.
-
The moment production pulls you aside after breakfast and tells you to get âa little more dressed upâ for the pod date, your heart starts pounding. Because thereâs only one reason for that. Right?
The thought follows you all the way back to the womenâs living quarters. You barely even register Daria asking whatâs wrong as you stand frozen in front of your closet, fingers hovering over dresses you packed half-jokingly for a proposal you never genuinely thought would happen to you. Not this fast. Not ever, maybe.
Your pulse thuds loudly in your ears while you finally pick one. You sit in front of the vanity afterward doing your makeup with slightly shaky hands, trying not to spiral while the girls around you immediately catch onto your nervousness.
âOh my god,â Tabitha gasps dramatically from across the room. âYou look terrified.â
âI am terrified.â
Daria narrows her eyes knowingly. âDo you think heâs proposing?â
Your stomach flips so violently you nearly stab yourself in the eye with mascara. âI donât know,â you say too quickly.
But the truth isâ
You do know. Or at least, you feel it. The energyâs been building toward this for days now. Every conversation with Felix growing deeper and more certain. Still, you force yourself not to get your hopes up. Because hope feels dangerous. Hope is the first step toward disappointment.
So by the time you walk down the glowing hallway toward the pods, your chest feels painfully tight with nerves youâre trying desperately not to name. The pod door slides open and somehow, before you even sit down, you know heâs already there. Waiting.
You settle slowly onto the couch, smoothing nervous hands over your dress before speaking softly into the quiet. âHi.â
The response comes immediately. âHi.â
Something about Felixâs voice sounds different today. Tighter, a little nervous.
Your lips twitch slightly despite yourself and decide to tease, âYou sound cheerful today. Whatâs going on?â
Felix laughs softly, breathless around the edges. âSorry, Iâm justâŠâ His voice trails off.
And suddenly your heart is beating so hard it almost hurts.
Silence settles briefly between you before Felix speaks again, a little careful this time. âThe last few days with youâŠâ
You hold your breath unconsciously.
âTalking to you and getting to know youâŠâ He exhales shakily. âI donât even know how to explain it properly.â
His honesty wraps around your chest immediately. âIâm so attracted to your personality. Just⊠who you are. As a person.â
Your eyes sting unexpectedly.
âThe way you think. The way you care about people. The way you try so hard to be strong all the time even when I know youâre scared.â
You tightly press your lips together.
âAnd every time I talk to you, I feel more certain instead of less,â he continues, voice trembles slightly now.
âLike I donât need to keep searching anymore becauseâŠâ he pauses to let out a shaky breath. âI found you.â
Your chest physically aches hearing it, at how Felix sounds so open right now. So sincere it almost hurts to listen to. And suddenly, beneath all the warmth blooming inside you, the fear creeps in too. Because if heâs being this honest with you, then keeping parts of yourself hidden suddenly feels unbearably unfair.
You clear your throat before softly call his name. âFelixâŠâ
He goes quiet immediately, listening.
You stare down at your trembling hands. âI was only six when my dad walked out on me. And my mom and I⊠I remember feeling so confused. Not understanding what it means until later in my life.â
The memory instantly flashes violently through your mind. You inhale shakily, tears already pooling in your eyes. âEver since then,â your voice crack in between sentences. âI never really learned how to fully attach myself to people emotionally.â
You press the back of your hand to your eyes, embarrassed by how vulnerable you suddenly feel. âI know itâs not fair to quickly assume that youâd do the same. When youâve been nothing but warm and kind. And good to me.â
A tear slips down your cheek anyway and you quickly wipe it. âI just want you to know that⊠Iâll always have this fear that people are going to leave eventually.â
The confession trembles out of you helplessly. Your voice grows smaller. More fragile. âAnd Iâm really scared right now.â
Because you are. Terrified, actually. Of trusting someone this much. Of needing them. Of believing in something beautiful only to watch it disappear one day.
You close your eyes briefly, tears slipping free now despite your efforts to stop them. âI donât know if Iâm ready for this.â
The vulnerability hangs exposed between you afterward, raw enough that your chest physically hurts beneath it.
And for the first time since meeting Felix, you genuinely fear what he might say next.
-
YOU: Whenever things start becoming too real emotionally⊠my instinct is always to pull away. [Shakily exhales] To protect myself. Because if you donât fully let yourself need someone, then losing them hurts less. And when I get this scared⊠I close myself off again.
-
Felixâs chest hurts hearing you cry. Not metaphorically. It actually hurts.
Every soft sniffle from the other side of the wall feels like something splintering painfully inside him because all he can picture is you sitting there alone as fear claws at you from the inside out.
And suddenly, everything becomes so painfully clear to him.
This is exactly why heâs here. Not for the experiment. Not for television. Not for some perfect fairytale romance.
Heâs here because when he hears your voice crack like that, every part of him wants to protect you from ever feeling abandoned again. To love you so thoroughly that one day, maybe, youâll stop waiting for people to leave.
But first, he needs you to believe him. He exhales slowly, grounding himself before speaking softly into the quiet. âI know youâre hurt.â
The crying on the other side quiets slightly.
âAnd I know those fears probably donât just disappear overnight,â he says, voice grows gentle yet firmer. âBut Iâm not here to hurt you.â
Your breathing trembles softly through the speakers.
âI want to be with you. I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved.â His throat tightens unexpectedly around the words because god, he means them so much it almost scares him. âI want to build a family together. With you.â
A breathless laugh leaves his mouth then. âAnd hopefully raise seven kids with you eventually.â
A shaky sound escapes you immediately afterward â half laugh, half watery breath.
And relief floods through Felix instantly knowing youâre not crying as hard anymore. He smiles helplessly to himself before standing abruptly from the couch.
âCan you please come up to the wall for me?â he softly asks.
âOkay.â
Felix walks toward the glowing wall separating you, heartbeat thundering violently inside his chest now. He places one palm flat against it and somehow, it almost feels like touching you.
âIâm here,â you whisper from the other side.
His eyes close briefly at the sound of your voice so close now. He clears his throat softly, suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of this moment. Then he speaks openly, honestly.
âIf you and I get marriedâŠâ
His fingers press more firmly against the wall.
âThen thatâs it for me.â
Emotion climbs into his voice despite his attempts to steady it.
âItâll be my first and last marriage.â
The silence on the other side turns painfully still.
âI promise Iâll take care of you.â
Felix swallows hard.
âI promise Iâll always be there for you.â
His chest aches with how deeply he means it.
âAnd Iâll love you unconditionally for the rest of my life.â
The words settle between you, quivering in the air, heavy with emotions. Felix lets the silence hold them for a moment before finally doing the thing heâs been emotionally building toward since the first time he heard you laugh through this wall.
His knees hit the floor softly and even though you canât see him, he still wants to do this properly. His heart pounds so hard heâs sure the microphones pick up the sounds. Then softly, breathlesslyâ
âWill you marry me?â
The question leaves Felix trembling with hope.
-
FELIX: Everything led me to this moment. Every conversation we had. Every joke. Every vulnerable thing she shared with me. I fell in love with her little by little without even realizing it was happening. And now I genuinely canât imagine leaving this experiment without her. [Nervously laughs] I just really hope she says yes.
-
The glowing wall in front of you blurs through your tears while Felixâs question hangs between the two of you, suspended so delicately in the quiet that your heart physically aches beneath it.
Will you marry me?
Your body feels weightless and unbearably heavy all at once. Fear twists through you first. Then happiness crashes right into it. Excitement. Nerves. Disbelief. Theyâre laced around the edges.
This is real. Felix is real. The man behind this wall who listens to you, who remembers every little thing you say, who talks about loving you like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
Your hands tremble at your sides while tears continue slipping down your cheeks uncontrollably. And for one terrifying second, your fear almost wins. The instinct to protect yourself. To hesitate. To retreat before something beautiful can hurt you. But thenâ
You remember why you came here in the first place. You came not because you needed someone to complete you or because you were lonely. But because despite everything that happened to you, despite all the fear stitched into your chest, a part of you still wanted to believe in love. Still wanted to give it one real chance.
And now itâs standing right in front of you. Or ratherâ Kneeling behind a wall asking for your heart with shaking hands and seven imaginary children waiting in the future.
A watery laugh escapes you through your tears. Then you inhale deeply, trying to steady your breathing enough to speak.
Felix stays completely quiet on the other side, waiting and giving you space.
You press your palm softly against the glowing wall between you before finally whispering shakily. âYes.â
A few seconds pass in silence and then Felix breaks into laughter of pure relief. A shaky exhale follows immediately after like heâs been holding his breath this entire time.
âOh, God, I need a second,â he says, sounding like heâs running out of breath.
Your own laughter breaks through your tears instantly at the sound of him sounding so overwhelmed. âYes, Felix,â you repeat more firmly this time, smiling helplessly now despite the tears still falling. âIâll marry you.â
Another soft, disbelieving laugh leaves Felix from the other side of the wall.
Warmth blooms so fiercely in your chest that it almost hurts. Because for the first time in a very long time, you donât feel afraid of love. You feel chosen by it.
Then, sniffling softly, you add through a broken laugh, âIâm still not fully convinced about the seven kids though.â
Felix bursts into laughter immediately. âThatâs okay. I still have time to convince you.â
âUnbelievably persistent,â you mutter with a disbelieving laugh.
And suddenly youâre crying harder again, except this time it feels completely different. Like something inside you finally unclenched.
Your forehead presses briefly against the glowing wall while Felix stays close on the other side, neither of you speaking for a moment because words almost feel too small for whatâs happening between you now.
Engaged. You and Felix are engaged. And to your surprise⊠That thought doesnât scare you nearly as much as it should.
-
YOU: I said yes [sniffles] Iâm engaged now [Laughs] And to be honest, Iâm still scared. I think part of me will always be scared of trusting someone this much. But saying yes to Felix⊠[fondly smiles] It felt less like jumping off a cliff and more like finally letting someone catch me.
-
Felix feels like heâs floating. His feet carry him automatically down the glowing hallway away from the pods, but his mind is still stuck behind that wall with your voice trembling through tears as you told him yes.
Yes, Felix. Iâll marry you.
The word keeps replaying in his head over and over again until he thinks he might explode from happiness alone.
Felix presses both hands briefly over his face as he walks, laughing breathlessly to himself because nothing about this feels real yet. His chest feels too much for his small body, joy practically spilling out of him in waves. And somehow, despite never seeing your face, he already misses you.
By the time he reaches the menâs lounge, he realizes heâs smiling way too hard. So instinctively, he tries to school his expression back into something normal before pushing open the door.
The second he steps inside, the room goes quiet. Every single guy turns toward him immediately. Ryan pauses mid-sip of his drink. Shane lowers the pool cue in his hand. Jim outright sits forward on the couch like heâs been waiting for the past hour. And judging by the worried anticipation written all over their facesâ
Yeah. They were absolutely waiting for him.
Felix stares at them for one long second before letting out an exaggerated heavy sigh. Just to make them panic. He bites back his grin for another second before finally saying:
âShe said yes.â
Everyone erupts in cheers, loud and chaotic cheers. Ryan nearly launches his drink across the room while Shane shouts loud enough to wake the dead. Jim jumps up from the couch immediately with both arms raised triumphantly.
âI KNEW IT!â he yells.
Felix bursts into helpless laughter as all the guys rush toward him at once, nearly tackling him backward. And then suddenly, his feet leave the floor.
âWAITââ
The boys lift him into the air anyway while chanting loudly over each other.
âFELIX! FELIX! FELIX!â
Felix laughs so hard his stomach hurts as they toss him upward again, the entire room dissolving into complete chaos around him. But underneath all the noise and laughter, one thought remains crystal clear in Felixâs mind.
You said yes to him.
Out of everyone in this experimentâ
You chose him and heâs never felt happier in his entire life.
-
FELIX: She said yes. [Grins] She said yes to marrying me. I genuinely feel like Iâm walking on air right now. [laughs] Like⊠ridiculously happy. I canât wait to meet her soon. [smiles]
-
By the time you walk back toward the womenâs lounge, your face hurts from crying. The kind that leaves you overwhelmed and shaky and unbearably full all at once. Your fingers still tremble slightly at your sides as the memory keeps replaying in your head over and over again.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
You press your lips together tightly, trying not to cry all over again before pushing open the lounge doors.
The second you step inside, several girls immediately look up from the couches and dining table, their expressions changing almost instantly the moment they notice your tear-stained face.
Daria is already standing before you fully make it into the room. Her expression softens with immediate concern as she walks over carefully. âWhat happened?â she asks gently.
Your mouth opens and then closes again. Because somehow saying it out loud feels even crazier than agreeing to it. Instead of answering, you just step forward into her space.
Daria wraps both arms tightly around you without hesitation while you bury your face briefly against her shoulder, laughing shakily through fresh tears threatening to spill again.
âOh my god,â she whispers instantly. âOh my god, what happened?â
You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself enough to speak coherently while more girls slowly start gathering around the two of you. Then finally, muffled against Dariaâs shoulder, you share, âFelix proposed.â
You pull back slightly, cheeks burning hot as emotions swell all over again. âAnd I said yes.â
The silence lasts exactly one second before the entire room erupts. Hands flying to mouths. Someone nearly drops their wine glass onto the floor while Tabitha lets out the loudest gasp youâve ever heard in your life.
âOH MY GOD. YOUâRE ENGAGED?!â
You burst into helpless laughter through your tears as the girls rush toward you all at once. One by one, the girls pull you into hugs, congratulating you while your emotions continue spiraling wildly in every direction possible.
âYou look in love,â someone says between the waves of congratulations.
That one makes your chest aches immediately. Because maybe you do. Maybe somewhere between pod conversations and childhood confessions and imaginary seven childrenâ
You really did fall in love with him.
You sink onto the couch eventually while the girls crowd around you excitedly demanding details, your engagement suddenly becoming everyoneâs favorite topic of the day. Still, every now and then, your mind drifts quietly back to Felix. Somewhere on the other side of this building, heâs probably smiling right now too.
The word sends another wave of disbelief crashing through you all over again.
-
YOU: I came into this experiment so skeptical [softly laughs] Like⊠extremely skeptical. [shakes head] I genuinely thought there was no way people could actually fall in love without seeing each other. And five days later⊠Iâm engaged. [disbelieving laughs] And somehow⊠it feels right. [smiles]
-
The waiting room suddenly feels too small for Felixâs nervous energy.
Felix exhales shakily before turning toward the mirror again, immediately fixing absolutely nothing about his suit for the fifteenth time. Smooth the sleeves. Adjust the collar. Push his hair back. No, waitâ
Maybe the hair looked better before. âOh my god,â he mutters under his breath. âRelax.â
He absolutely does not relax. Instead, he starts pacing again. The ring box in his hands opens with a soft click before he closes it again almost instantly. Then opens it again. Then shuts it.
Over and over.
Because somehow, after all the emotional conversations and vulnerability and certainty he felt in the pods, this suddenly feels terrifying in an entirely different way. Not because heâs scared of you. Never that.
Heâs scared of the moment itself. Of finally seeing the person whose voice has become the best part of his day. The woman he accidentally fell in love with through a wall.
Felix exhales hard, trying to shake some of the adrenaline out of his system. Then suddenly, the reality of it hits him again. Youâre here. Right now. In the waiting room across from his. Probably getting ready too. Probably nervous too.
For days now, youâve only existed as laughter through speakers. Quiet breathing through walls. A voice heâs memorized so completely he thinks heâd recognize it anywhere in the world.
But now, he finally gets to put a face to all of it. Finally gets to look at you while you laugh instead of imagining it. Finally gets to hold you for real instead of pressing his hand against a glowing wall pretending it was enough.
Felix presses the ring box carefully against his palm, heartbeat pounding harder the more he thinks about it. He wonders if youâre smiling right now. If youâre pacing too. If youâre as overwhelmed as he is.
A shaky laugh escapes him again before he glances toward the doors leading to the reveal hallway.
And suddenly, all he wants is to get to you already.
-
FELIX: I canât wait to finally see her [nervously laughs] Like genuinely, I feel like Iâm about to explode. Iâve spent days talking to this person, falling for this person, imagining her reactions and expressions and smiles in my head⊠And now I actually get to put a face to all of that. Iâm not that worried about physical attraction. Even if she looks completely different from what I imagined, sheâs still her. [nervously laughs] Iâm just excited.
-
The waiting room feels unbearably warm. Or maybe itâs just you.
Youâve been sitting in front of the mirror for the past several minutes pretending to fix your makeup when really, youâve just been staring at yourself trying not to spiral. Your palms are damp. Your heartbeat is so loud youâre convinced the microphones are picking it up. And no matter how many times you smooth your dress down over your legs, the nervous energy in your body refuses to settle.
âOh my god,â you whisper under your breath before restlessly fanning yourself with your hands.
It does absolutely nothing. If anything, youâre sweating more now. You stand abruptly from the chair and pace once across the room before immediately returning to the mirror again. You lean closer, lightly dabbing beneath your eyes to make sure your mascara hasnât smudged from all the crying youâve done today.
The thought hits you again so suddenly your stomach feels queasy. Felix is about to become real in a completely different way. Not just a voice anymore. Not just soft laughter through speakers or warmth through a wall. In a few minutes, youâre actually going to see him, touch him, hold him.
The realization makes your chest tightens. Because despite everything, despite all your fears and emotional walls and skepticism coming into this experimentâ
You want this. You want him.
You catch yourself smiling helplessly in the mirror just thinking about his laugh before nerves crash right back into you again. Your smile slowly fades. Because suddenly, a terrifying thought pushes its way into your chest.
Youâve only been thinking about Felix as Felix. His kindness. His patience. His voice. The way he intently listens to you. You never cared about what he looked like. Not really.
But now?
Now physical appearance suddenly becomes real again and with it comes every insecurity youâve spent years trying not to think about too hard.
What if he sees you and feels disappointed? What if the version of you he built in his head looks nothing like reality? What if he changes his mind the second he sees your face?
The dress suddenly feels too tight. You tug lightly at the neckline instinctively, trying to inhale properly again.
Okay.
Okay. Calm down.
Your chest only tightens harder because this suddenly feels so much scarier than talking through a wall. Behind the pods, he loved you for you. But now he gets to decide whether the outside of you fits the version he already fell for. And the possibility that it might not â that maybe heâll look at you and not feel the same anymore â Terrifies you more than you expected.
You press both hands flat against the vanity table, forcing yourself to breathe slowly while your pulse races uncontrollably beneath your skin.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Youâre about to meet the man you said yes to and that feels both beautiful and absolutely horrifying at the same time.
-
YOU: I feel like I might throw up [nervously smiles] Because this whole time, I only focused on who Felix is as a person. I fell in love with the way he talks to me. The way he makes me feel safe. The way he listens. And honestly, I never really cared what he looked like. [sighs] But now that Iâm about to meet him⊠Iâm scared he wonât like how I look. [cries] Thereâs this possibility that after seeing me, he may not feel the same and thatâsâ [cries] [dabs eyes with the back of your hand] Thatâs terrifying. [sadly smiles]
-
âš LOVE IS BLIND: PART TWO is available on Patreon âš
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pairing: student! fem reader x student! jeon jungkook
summary: when you finally get your crushâs number, you expect the start of an epic love storyâ not a random guy making fun of you because he thinks the guy youâve been obsessed with for the last six months gave you a fake number. Jeon Jungkook, the one who replies, finds it entertaining and helps you chase the guy⊠at least until he finds out that the person heâs been helping date another guy is you, the girl heâs been obsessed with for the last two years.
genre/warning: this is a smau fic!! with narration included in some chapter but itâs mostly messages/tweets. very unfunny jokes. this is mostly crack/fluff.
authorâs note: this is an important narrated chapter so you better fucking READ the written part!! okay enjoy ^_^
word count: 1.5k words.
chapter index | previous â next
â chapter five: jungkookâs little crush
The campus center was crowded as always between classes.
Students moved in and out of the building carrying coffee cups and laptops, dragging backpacks behind them as they searched for empty tables. Conversations blended together into a constant background noise that had become so familiar Jungkook barely noticed it anymore. He had claimed a table near one of the windows almost twenty minutes ago and had spent most of that time pretending to look at his phone while waiting for his friends to arrive.
He had an untouched iced coffee and his headphones around his neck. He wasnât really doing anything. At least, nothing productive. Technically he was waiting for Namjoon and Taehyung. Realistically, he was staring at the entrance every few seconds like a dog waiting for its owner to come home⊠Not that he would ever admit that.
Then you walked in.
Jungkook immediately forgot whatever heâd been looking at and immediately every coherent thought left his body.
You looked exactly the same as you always did. A tote bag hanging from one shoulder. Laptop tucked under your arm, hair slightly messy, tired eyes. You paused near the entrance to check something on your phone before making your way toward an empty table.
Jungkook looked away immediately, then looked back. Then looked away againâ then looked back⊠Apparently self-respect was optional for him.
The worst part was that none of this should have been happening. He was a grown man. He was a college student in his final year but he paid taxes, he had responsibilities⊠Yet somehow the sight of one girl walking into a building still managed to reduce him to the emotional stability of a Victorian woman staring dramatically out a window.
The whole thing had started two years ago over one project. One stupid semester-long project.
The university had paired students from different departments together for a collaborative production assignment. You had been studying production design and set construction while Jungkook was focusing on music production.At the time he hadnât thought much of it. Then heâd actually met you.
That had been the thing. Because you werenât just pretty. Pretty wouldâve been manageable. Pretty wouldâve allowed him to move on with his life. Instead youâd been funny and talented and annoyingly easy to talk to. You had opinions about everything. You got excited when discussing projects. You always seemed to have six different ideas at the same time. You could spend an hour talking about set design and somehow make it interesting.
The project ended and his crush didnât. And now, two years later, he was still stuck.
Not because he didnât want to talk to you but because he was terrified. The problem with rejection was that it required asking first. As long as he never actually did anything, he could continue existing in a state of delusion. The fantasy remained alive, the possibility remained alive. His dignity remained technically intact.
It was a system. A terrible system⊠but a system nonetheless.
You set your laptop on the table and opened it, Jungkook immediately looked away again. Three seconds later he looked back.
Then three guys appeared. One dropped into the seat across from you, another stole the chair beside you. The third sat directly on top of the table. You smacked him without hesitation. Jungkook frowned confused and a little bothered. The guy looked deeply irritating. The second guy reached for your coffee and you smacked him too. The first guy said something that made you roll your eyes. Then all four of you started laughing.
Jungkook stared. The rational part of his brain knew those were probably your friends. The irrational part had already written three breakup poems and made a bad music video.
Before he could spiral any further, two familiar voices interrupted him.
âPlease tell me youâre not pouting like that because you didnât get banana milk.â
Jungkook looked up. Namjoon and Taehyung stood over his table.
âWelcome back,â Taehyung said as he sat down. âItâs always nice seeing a man physically present while mentally somewhere else.â
âIâm totally fine.â
âThat sounded like a lie.â
âIt was.â
âI donât really care enough to ask follow questions.â
Namjoon dropped into the seat beside him. âYouâve been here long?â
âLike twenty minutes.â
âDoing what?â
Jungkook shrugged. âNothing.â
Taehyung laughed. âThatâs impressive because you somehow look exhausted.â
Jungkook took a sip of his coffee. âWhereâs Yoongi?â
âHe said he canât make it,â Namjoon replied. âSome project deadline.â
âThatâs unfortunate.â
âWhy?â
âBecause now Iâm here alone with you two.â
âWow.â
âRude.â
The conversation drifted naturally after that. They talked about their classes, some due projects, professors they hated. Taehyung last girl, Namjoonâs last party. The usual stuff they joked and talked about. Eventually, however, the topic returned exactly where it always returned with Jungkook when he was asked about his last girl.
You.
Taehyung leaned back in his chair. âCan I ask something?â
âNo.â
âIâm asking anyway.â
Jungkook sighed. âGo ahead.â
âAre we absolutely sure she exists?â
Jungkook stared at him. âWhat?â
âWeâve known about this girl for two years.â
âYes.â
âWe know her name.â
âUhm.â
âWe know her major.â
âUhm.â
âWe know sheâs apparently the love of your life.â
Jungkook groaned. âShe is.â
âYou never stop talking about her every time we try to introduce you to someone newââ
âIâm not a cheater.â
Taehyung ignored his comment. ââBut none of us have ever actually met her.â
Namjoon nodded thoughtfully. âHeâs got a point.â
âThank you.â
âYou donât need to thank him.â
âI appreciated the support.â
Jungkook rubbed his face. âSheâs real.â
âProve it.â
âSheâs a person, not Bigfoot.â
âSame amount of evidence.â
âYouâre both idiots.â
Namjoon shrugged. âAt least show us a picture, In really curious about her.
Jungkook looked at them for a second before pouting toward your table. âThere.â He sighed, a little nervous. âSheâs there.â
Both men turned quickly, almost too shocked to actually believed the girl his friends had been talking for two years was finally in the same room as themâ even though they had been in the same university.
Jungkook hated how validated that made him feel. âThank you.â
âIâm not complimenting you.â
âSheâs my future wife so you kinda are.â
The three guys around you were still talking over one another. One of them nearly knocked over your drink. You looked ready to commit a felony.
Taehyung watched for a moment. âThose have to be her friends.â
âObviously.â
âNo guy trying to impress a girl acts like that. Theyâre probably gay,â Taehyung nodded.
âWhy would they be gay?â Namjoon frowned confused. âCanât a straight man and a straight girl be friends?.â
âSheâs too hot and they look like idiots.â
âThatâs soââ
âAre we sure any of them are actually gay?â Jungkook grimaced.
Taehyung put a hand over his friendâs shoulder to give him security. âOne of them is blond by choice. Thatâs basically the same thing.â
âYeah youâre right.â
The immediate relief on Jungkookâs face was embarrassing. Namjoon noticed. âYouâre patheticâ
âIâm not!â
âYou absolutely are. Just talk to her, she seems nice.â
âShe is!.â
âThen why donât you just go and talk to her like a normal person?â
Jungkook ignored him. Then Taehyung suddenly sat up straighter, his expression changed. A strange look crossing his face.
âWait.â
Namjoon looked over. âWhat?â
âI know her.â
Jungkook frowned. âWhat do you mean you know her?â
Taehyung continued staring across the room. âNo, I definitely know her.â
âFrom where?â
âIâve seen her before.â
Namjoon followed his gaze again. For a second he looked confused⊠then realization hit him. âOh.â
Jungkook didnât like that oh. Not even a little.
âWhat?â
Namjoon pointed. âSheâs Yoongiâs friend.â
The words landed like a truck.
Jungkook blinked confused. âWhat do you mean sheâs Yoongiâs friend?â
âThe fundraiser.â
âWhat fundraiser?â
âThe charity event from a few weeks ago.â Jungkook stared at him. âWe saw them together.â
Taehyung nodded. âAh, yes. Thatâs where I know her from.â
Jungkook looked between both of them. âYou meanâŠâ
âYeah.â
âThey know each other?â
âPretty sure.â
âTheyâre friends?â
âI think so.â
âHe said so. Sheâs the one he was flirting with.â
Jungkook sat completely still.
Because suddenly a lot of things made sense. Yoongi had known who you were whenever your name came up. Jungkook had assumed he recognized your face. Maybe from campus, maybe from some classes. He had never once considered that you actually knew each other. That you talked. That you were friends.
That Yoongi had access to information. Valuable information. Life-changing information.
Jungkook continued staring at them without blinking. Like he was trying to process information that his brain had rejected on principle.
He knew Yoongi knew who you were. The university wasnât that big, people recognized people. That was normal. What he had not known was that you were actually friends. Friends. As in spending time together voluntarily, as in knowing each other, as in having conversations. As in everything Jungkook had failed to accomplish during the last two years.
For the first time since arriving at the student center, he looked away from you and picked up his phone.
âWhat are you doing?â Namjoon asked.
Jungkook opened his messages. âIâm going to kill him.â
summary: part v. some boyfriend content with each four of them. and like, feat the other dipshits. but youâre the one taking felix to his doctorâs check up.
warnings: non idol au, violence, blood, mentions of gore, cannibalism, obsessive behavior, jealousy, cursing, homicidal behavior/psychopathy, mentions of self harm and throwing up, sexual content(mentions of p in v, humping, heavy petting, love for menâs balls but itâs not sexual after all, light voyeurism), reader getting no privacy, so also talks about periods and the boys interacting with it but itâs in the funny way, the boys are not okay mentally
word count: 25k
hyunjin is not handling this well.
like, not even a little bit.
he wants to handle it well. he really fucking does. heâs trying to be normal about it, trying to be one of those âyeah man, we talked about it, itâs fine, i respect itâ kind of guys⊠but he is not that guy.
and with the way he keeps it in, it just builds. and builds. and builds. until suddenly heâs three drinks in at noon, sitting somewhere he doesnât even remember choosing, staring at his phone because youâre not answering fast enough.
not even ignoring him. just⊠busy. with someone else.
oh, so youâre with them. cool. great.
and then he orders another drink.
because obviously thatâs the solution.
and weâre talking about a noon here but itâs already on in the mornings. hyunjin wakes up already pissed off at his fucking chungus life. with a headache, most time.
his hands donât know what to do anymore. before you, they knew exactly what they were for. he was born to end lives. now⊠now he just holds shit when not stabbing with it. he always looks so off nowadays. but always plays with something in his hands when spacing out, thatâs our point here.
one morning, early, hyunjinâs already up. he always wakes up early. canât not. currently sitting at the counter of his and binnieâs place, hunched forward with that ass posture of his, why is this guy so long, turning a knife slowly in his hand. not like a big one, just⊠enough to do damage if he wanted to. but heâs not using it. heâs just holding it. plus you would worry about him if he hurt himself. so heâs⊠not going to do that.
changbin stands there for a second, watching. then he walks over, holds his hand out. âgive me that.â
âfuck off.â
âhyune.â
âi said fuck off.â
changbin reaches out and takes the knife.
hyunjin lets him. lets his hand go slack, lets it be taken because nothing matters. fucking psycho.
changbin turns it once in his hand, sets it down out of reach. sighs. mr emo should calm the fuck down. (or maybe changbin should open up his eyes and realize hyunjin is not wrong here, just a more expressed and deeper version of what changbin also was once before you let him hit. changbin is kind of an asshole here, always on your dick and not helping his friend whoâs having it way worse.)
thatâs why for hyunjin, itâs not just that youâre with other people, itâs who. itâs the details. itâs the images that wonât leave his head no matter how much he tries to drown them out.
you.
on his bed.
changbinâs hands on you.
changbinâs mouth on you.
right there. while he was just asleep. he keeps seeing it, over and over, and itâs not even something he witnessed, itâs something he imagines only, fills in with way too much detail that destroy him but most likely didnât even happen. like hyune i promise you that they did not kiss that close to you as you imagine it.
it makes his stomach twist. makes his grip tighten on whatevers in his hands at the time. makes him want to break something. or someoneâs bones. or his own head on a wall.
and hyunjin canât be mad at you. couldnât even try. because to him, youâre, fuck, youâre everything.
when you look at him? it all just stops, just for that long. the constant torture in his head and everything that holds in itself, gone. thatâs why he still wants you just as bad. maybe worse.
if you asked him to wait? he would.
if you asked him to share? he might.
if you asked him to stay like this, falling deep into this and mad and completely fucked up over you, just a simple little human? heâd do that too.
but all this waiting just ends up making him⊠hungrier.
heâs constantly trying to figure out where he fits. where heâs allowed to stand. he doesnât openly hit on you like jeongin, he canât give you that. doesnât do what he wants like seungmin, would mess up everything if he did. doesnât cling like han, heâd feel annoying. canât over-daddy everyone like chan, could never be on that level. canât have the same charm as changbin does, doesnât have it, what changbin was born with, hyunjin learned himself. wouldnât get away with being creepy like minho(god, only minho can do it like that, even hyunjin wants to drop his panties when he sees minho be a creep towards you. anyone else would be dead if the boys saw someone act like that, but not minho)
he just⊠waits. thatâs what he does, lives in the back, in the othersâ shadows, not even his looks saving him now.
first time having feelings going well so far.
oh, sweetie.
but at least he still has the privilege to steal you sometimes, because you do like hanging out with him. heâs grateful for that. (only has himself to be grateful for, is still grateful for you) he can grab your hand and pull and you wonât resist. youâll giggle and go with him, even while han keeps making little noises.
âhey, hey, where are you taking her?â
âout.â hyunjin says.
ânoââ
âyeah.â
he actually had to stab han in the thigh once just so that he wouldnât follow you. hyunjin always. makes. sure. the others donât follow you.
he needs the contact to stay sane. just the two of youâs. he doesnât even talk much in these hangouts, just sits with you, smokes one maybe, watching you. accepting his heartache when you lean on him a little.
internally, heâs fine then. okay. life is good but then he remembers(just imagines, fuck he remembers if he didnât see it) changbin on his bed, and it all comes back. he has to throw up again.
ââŠyou really didnât wake me up, huh.â he mutters one time.
you look at him. youâre beautiful. âwhat?â
he shakes his head. looks good on him. ânothing.â
drinks again. conversation over. but itâs not over.
changbin has taken that knife out of his hand multiple times now.
walk in. see hyunjin. see knife. say âagain?â take the knife. place it somewhere, knowing heâll find it again anyway. âyouâre going to cut yourself.â
âwouldnât be the worst thing.â
âyouâre being dramatic.â
âyouâre in a fivesome.â
ââŠcanât even argue with you, dude.â
it hits him in waves. that would be the best metaphor, though he has lots more of those. one minute heâs fine. normal. functionalish. doing whatever the fuck he does during the day. then next heâs on his bed, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, flushed, heart doing some weird, uneven shit in his chest.
his brain, all you. again. always you.
heâs just thinking. thinking about the way you act with him. the way you lean into him when he pulls you into him, how you trust him with being that close, trust him to protect you in that position. he feels so boyfriend when you do that. youâre the perfect girl. the way your hand fits in his like it was made to be there. heâs sure it was. it must. the way you went out with him before you knew the others. the way your tits lookâholy shit tits. yeah these thought chains can be sweet, can be dirty, longing, desperate, needy, horny, everything.
itâs not just want, attraction. itâs this gross need that took over his perfect life.
itâs unhealthy.
but what the fuck is anyone gonna do about it. nothing. thatâs what.
so he gets love drunk. and itâs pathetic. genuinely embarrassing for a man like this. ptoo. this was supposed to be the sound of spitting in him. anyways. heâs on his bed in these little episodes, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling looking like he just got shot by cupid himself. feels like it too. even ears red, little boy neck warm, just a boy thinking about you. no distractions. no phone. no alcohol (at least not yet, give him ten minutes).
and then thereâs the other problem, which is that all this feeling has to go somewhere. and hyunjin is not good at expressing it. at all.
so it leaks. kinda like that. like one late night, hyunjin is not sleeping again. shocking. heâs been staring at the ceiling for⊠fuck knows how long, thinking about you, replaying everything, overanalyzing shit.
he gets up. no thoughts that drive him, just feels like going. walks out of his room, down the hallway. to changbinâs door, and opens it without knocking. (them not knocking on each otherâs doors has gotten them into multiple situations now)
changbin is asleep. shirtless, sprawled out, one arm thrown over his head. heâa cute. such a boy. more man, maybe.
hyunjin stands there, staring. kinda forget why he came for. so he walks in, closes the door, and climbs into the bed.
fucking cuddles up to changbin. like presses into changbinâs side, throws a leg over him, one arm tucked between them and the other over changbinâs body.
changbin obviously wakes up to this, eyes opening, looking down, seeing hyunjin. processing⊠processingâŠ
âhey, buddy.â changbin says.
ââŠhi.â
changbin exhales, so soft, adjusting to get comfortable again, then puts an arm around hyunjin.
âyou okay?â he asks.
âno.â
âyeah. figured.â
hyunjin presses his face into changbinâs shoulder, trying to hide.
changbin understands. wishes he could do something for hyunjin. these two kill people btw.
at some point, hyunjin falls asleep. changbin goes back to sleep too. cuties.
and they could be doing this more, would help a lot, but when not, theyâre at your place. everyone is at your place. itâs not your place anymore. itâs theirs too. they have collectively decided that your space is now their space. your time is their time.
like, some days you walk in, and felix is on your couch, flipping through one of your magazines like he can actually read. (he can)
he looks up when you come in, smiling ear to ear. âoh, hey.â
âhi, lix. what are you doing?â
âreading.â such a cutie. âmy horoscope says iâm gonna change the world.â
âamazing, sweetie.â
and when you turn your head because hyunjin is talking to you about how the moon looks like your left tit or whatever emo shit heâs on today, and when you turn back, felix is eating the paper.
you donât even have the energy to yell anymore. you just take the rest of the magazine before he eats the whole thing.
you like your magazines.
sometimes when the boys are all too much, too loud, too physical, too on you, and you need to calm down before you lose your mind or commit a homicide of your own, you sit down, grab the latest issue, and you read it. close every single one of them out. usually perfect legs crossed, flipping pages while han is trying to climb on top of the fridge, seungmin is shooting at changbin(your neighbors just started moving not too long ago), thatâs the game, changbin has to dodge, jeongin climbs onto the back of the couch, start braiding tiny sections of your hair while talking to you. âand then i told the guy i was gonna wear his face as a mask for you, but he screamed so loud i had toââ you hum and donât pay attention. felix is usually on the floor gnawing on something (sometimes a bone, sometimes one of your socks) making happy little noises, watching the others or plays with them when invited, minho stands there holding one of your bras, sniffing it every few minutes(fucking creep??? hello???), hyunjin tries to read over your shoulder. âthis writer doesnât understand true longing. i would kill myself for you.â chanâs the only one who sometimes just sits next to you quietly(when not sharpening something with little metal shavings accidentally ending up in your hair), arm around your shoulders, scrolling on his phone like a normal(ish) boyfriend until seungmin starts shit talking and they throw hands. it drives them insane because they want your attention so bad but youâre over here reading about skincare while three of them have their dicks out.
you need it because theyâre always on you. touching you. leaning on you. sitting too close. standing too close. breathing too close. youâll be in the kitchen and suddenly thereâs a hand on you, any part of you. sometimes head, arm, the boyfriends get private areas privilege of course, whatnot. youâll be on the couch and someoneâs arm is around you. youâll be walking somewhere and someoneâs grabbed your wrist, your hand, your sleeve, something.
âwhere are you going?â
âover there.â
âwhy?â
âbecause i want to.â
ââŠcome back.â
so you need your magazines to ignore them sometimes. and, surprisingly, they donât bother you that much when they see youâre reading. well, they donât stop bothering you, they still talk your ear off, but at least donât rip the magazine out of your hands so you pay attention to them.
when shit gets too⊠well, psychotic, these men are sick and need you to stop them sometimes, we know that, sometimes you just shove the magazine into seungminâs hands. heâs usually the closest to you. and you know heâll hold it.
âread this and shut up for five minutes.â you say, going to the kitchen where minho and felix are about to castrate each other.
seungmin bitches âthis is fucking stupid, why do women need ten tips for everything, just suck dick better, why am iââ but two minutes later heâs fully invested in the âsex tips for women who like it roughâ article, eyebrows raised, nodding while reading.
you come back ten minutes later with jeongin crying because felix tried to bite his dick and seungminâs just quietly reading under his breath âpro tip, communicate your needs⊠yeah no shit.â he hands it back without looking at you, face a little red. âmid.â
theyâre always on your dick. you try to pee in peace and the bathroom door creaks open and one of them is just standing there. like changbin, saying âjust making sure youâre okay, baby.â
âfuck are you looking at, get out.â
âokay. youâre so cute.â he says, smiling and waving.
chan will knock once, then walk in anyway, starts talking to you. he acts the most normal of them. acts. doesnât mean he is. heâs not.
han will wander in scratching his balls, go âoh shit sorryâ then just stand there watching. fascinated. âyou pee like a girl⊠thatâs so coolâŠâ ??? okay??? once he got so excited he started clapping. âwow youâre really going!! good job!!â
seungmin doesnât really come in unless he needs something or just wants to annoy you, but not like he minds the fact that youâre peeing. once the second you wrapped your used pad up he took it from your hands and threw it into the tiny trash can for you. you, to this day, genuinely canât decide if that was cute or fucking creepy.
and your bedroom? fucking circus. you have one bed. one. one! youâre lucky that itâs a big bed, but not big enough for the fact that all of these men, freshly feeling men, deeply in love men, want to sleep touching you.
han is glued to you, nonnegotiable. if he doesnât get to be next to you, itâs ânoâno, iâm stayingâiâm staying right hereââ itâs too much, but you love him. itâs also kind of sad. itâs also incredibly fucking inconvenient when there are also other people in the room.
seungmin is just âthis is disgusting.â âmove over.â âwhy is he breathing like that.â âwhy is everyone breathing like that.â but god forbid heâs not involved.
chan just decides where heâs sleeping and everyone else adjusts accordingly. daddy has built this system up himself.
and you want changbin there, and no way you donât get what you want(except for peace but whatever) so changbin will be touching you one way or another. that gives him more confidence too nowadayd.
you wake up some mornings with han drooling on your tit, seungminâs arm over your waist, changbin curled up at your feet the baby(execute him now), and chan somehow taking up half the mattress, with an arm behind your neck!! then you look down and felix is on the floor waiting for you to wake up and spend time with him, jeongin is spooning a pillow, hyunjin is writing something on the ceiling with a marker(???), and minho is standing in the corner watching everyone. waves to you. you hate them. (you love them more than anything and youâre unbelievably grateful for them no matter how horrible they are to the world)
and naturally, now that theyâre all over you and see that the others are also all over you, they will⊠not want to be all over the others too. difficult wording, point here, jealousy.
not so serious that theyâll kill each other(except if youâre minho, heâd kill anyone), god no, but still. some of them are fine with sharing, some get a bit jealous. (but still would share if you told them to. anything you want, y/n.)
right now, the mainly hated one is chan.
well, they actually love chan, in the limited way serial killers can love anything that isnât themselves and their needs to kill. they look up to him. heâs the most put together in any given situation, minho and felix trying to rip each otherâs faces off or jeongin threatening to âend it allâ over a bad haircut thatâs not even bad and heâs the only one who thinks so, chanâs daddy ass steps in and everything is fine in five minutes. okay, sure, he had to break hyunjinâs collarbone once, but still settled shit.
they respect him. they copy him sometimes. they see how he acts with you and try the same. but right now, mostly they want to kill him.
heâs spending solo time with you today. they know. it makes them want to hang themselves.
right now, hyunjin and felix are⊠somewhere. no one really knows where they decided to go, just that hyunjin needed to get out and felix followed because he likes hyunjinâs company. (letâs note that he doesnât know he likes hyunjinâs company, his brain likes it without him being conscious of it.) so theyâre spending time together in an alley behind a building. felix is gnawing on a forearm, making disgusting, crunching sounds while he talks to hyunjin.
âand then i was like, wait, what if you justââ
âyeah.â
âright? like you donât even have toââ
âno, yeah.â
âand then it just, like, came off, right? like, completely off. i didnât even know that could happen, but then minho told me to put it down and i reallyââ
âdeep.â
hyunjin hasnât heard a single word. not one. heâs staring off into the distance, mind somewhere else entirely. guess where, you. every few minutes felix offers him a bite and hyunjin politely declines without even looking at felix, it would be hard for anyone else, felix is beautiful. hyunjin just doesnât care now. itâs sweet that felix still keeps offering the boys bites even though they always say no. heâs either thoughtful or thoughtless and forgot they keep declining. anyways, he swings his legs, talks, goes on, while hyunjin drinks, and drinks, and drinks.
minho and jeongin are out getting rid of a body together, the two of them dragging a trash bag through the woods. they donât talk much. but theyâre having fun. seungmin is waiting in the car, heâs not in the mood for moving around now.
changbin and han are at changbinâs(and hyunjinâs but whatever heâs not home) place.
han is whining. âi miss her already, man, what ifââ
changbin has him by the collar, holding him in place with one massive fucking arm holy shit so hot while he stirs something on the stove. âsheâs fine, buddy. just chill. i made pasta. eat.â
han tries to run toward the door again and changbin yanks him back. brutal respect to him for never once raising his voice, by the way.
so. you and chan have your place to yourselves. youâre in the kitchen doing shit, chopping things or stirring whateverâs in the pot, while chan is behind you.
heâs such a sex symbol. moves behind you without a sound, psychopath quiet really, big hands on your hips. he leans down, presses a soft kiss to the side of your head. âsmells good.â reaches around to steal a piece of whatever youâre chopping, puts it in his mouth, and hums. approval. âmissed you today.â he whispers. that, is harder to say. but he did great.
you lean back into him. âmissed you too. how was the⊠thing?â you donât say kill out loud. ew ew ew. sometimes you dance around it, sometimes you donât. today feels like dancing.
itâs brutal development, where we are now, where you are about what they do. but you love them this way, learn to accept it.
âi did good. guy begged like a lil bitch at the end but thatâs nothing new. told him to shut up and think about his family. made it faster for him.â
you turn your head enough to look at him, to see his pretty face, tasting the sauce off the wooden spoon. offer it back over your shoulder for him. âhere. try this. too much basil?â
he takes the spoon, tastes it. nods. âperfect. you always nail it.â he sets the spoon down and wraps both arms around your waist now, pulling you back against him.
itâs weird, that killing gives him this much of a rush. a man who can be this gentle with you is that evil.
and you also give him that rush. you do the same shit to his nervous system but worse. or better, yâknow. he gets these random adrenaline rushes just from the way you do even the most insignificant shit like sneezing. now his heart rate raises like it does when heâs chasing someone, so blood reacts to that, and oh look at that, his dick is filling slowly because his body chose you.
the part in his brain that used to only light up for, to react to violence, now does that for your voice. for your anything really, your whole being. he loves it, living with this now. weird. makes him feel human, that used to make him want to peel his skin off.
heâs so in love itâs dumb. lame. his psychologyâs new, attachment that used to be impossible for a guy like him now feels like oxygen. youâre the only thing that brings him good emotions all the time. every little interaction with you, or just thinking about you really, gets his dopamine, his dumb man body, higher than any kill ever did.
so, his cockâs half hard now, pressing against the front of his jeans, and itâs not even because his brain got sexual information, itâs because you simply make him this happy.
before you, he thought this shit, talking, touching, just existing in the same room, was a waste of time, oh he didnât need it. now heâd watch you do this for hours. heâd watch you sleep, he does.
you turn your head to look at him and he catches your mouth in a kiss, no tongue, just wet mouth on mouth. when he pulls back his eyes are dark, pupils big from the love and lust flooding his system. looks good on him. the white feather hawk tail deer hunter likes to keep me cold in the hot breeze summer ever.
âkeep cooking, iâm good right here.â he murmurs, not wanting to stop your little woman activity for his dumb dick. but he could cum like this if he let himself, really could, humping you while you finish dinner, spilling in his pants because you do that to him. but he wonât.
âmm.â you reply. âgive me time then, i want you to try this for sure. just thought iâd make something you like. i know you love spicy.â
he puts his cheek to your cheek. heartless psychopath, by the way. âi do. you know me so well.â
letâs ignore that he canât deal with spicy. loves it, tolerating it is another case entirely. you know that, he forgets sometimes.
âi want to know you so well. i care about you, you know. so i worry. what if one day something goes wrong out there? what if you donât come back? i donât know what iâd do with all these assholes without you keeping them in line.â
chan smiles. he presses another kiss to your temple, then your cheek. âi always come back. got too much to come home to now.â his hands slide a little higher, palms on your sides, holding you closer. âtell me about your day. you were out earlier. anything interesting?â
âusual. ran into jeongin at the store. he obviously followed me there, but didnât cause trouble so it was fine. i told him to tone it down or iâm banning him from the apartment for a week, and han tried to cheer him up by offering to share his âspecialâ energy drink. which is just vodka and red bull. they both ended up puking in the bathtub. they left after that. nothing else, actually.
chan hums and holds you to himself, letting you feel him. âfuck, baby. you feel good. always do.â
you bite your lip, getting all horny now too. âyeah?â
âmhm.â he hums, grinding against you a bit. just a little bit, not like, han, who would be full on humping you now. he looks away. âfeels good when you worry.â
this is huge, coming from someone this closed off. the progress you made with these boys should get an award, no joke. itâs serious shit.
you add more things into the pan because they need vegetables and thankfully all eats them. then lean back into him more, letting him hold your weight. heâll always hold your weight. âi do worry, chan. youâre not invincible. promise me youâll be careful?â
his hips press in again, cock going between your asscheeks over the clothes. itâs not to start anything, just to relieve the situation in his pants. heâs obviously listening to you, kisses the side of your neck even, open mouthed and wet. hot. âi promise, baby. careful as i can be.â another press of his hips, more upwards, breath hitching just slightly. âtalk to me more.â
you hum, giving everything a stir in the pan. âokay, fine. iâve been thinking about getting a bigger place. this one bedroom is killing me with all eight of you basically living here. but then i think about moving and i get this weird panic because⊠what if the new place doesnât feel like home? what if itâs too big and you all spread out?â
âmm. i get it. itâs grown on me too.â
you hum, focusing on the food even as your body responds to this manâs whole being. âiâve been reading this article in one of my magazines about how to deal with difficult people. thought it was funny because none of the tips apply to you guys. âset boundariesâ yeah right, tried and didnât work. âcommunicate calmlyâ i do but it doesnât do anything. but with you they work. you listen.â you mumble. this is not favoritism, you love the others just as much as you love chan, itâs just a fact that heâs easier to deal with. âanyways, how was your day besides the thing? you went out earlier with minnie, right? didnât come back covered in blood this time, so iâm guessing you two ate out or something? went well?â
âno that was murder too.â
âoh.â
âseungmin got a little creative with a crowbar, but it wasnât that serious. you should be proud.â
you put your head back against his chest, smiling. âi am. the others couldnât do that. han told me he almost set the couch on fire yesterday trying to âimpressâ felix with some dumb lighter trick. you hear about that?â
he rocks you a little. itâs not even to relieve his boner, itâs just to be close to you. âheard the smoke alarm. changbin had to put the fire out. shouldâve seen his face, he thought he ruined dinner for you.â
âpoor bin.â you say, genuinely feeling a little bad. you add some soy sauce to the pan. sizzles. âhe tries so hard. last week he brought me flowers, it was so cute. you notice how heâs been smiling more since⊠well, since he got added?â
he watches over your shoulder as you toss the things in the pan around. âyeah. innieâs worse though. he tried to do push ups in the living room to âbulk upâ so youâd notice him more. got to twenty, then felix walked by eating a sandwich and jeongin got distracted, fell on the carpet. nosebleed everywhere. han laughed so hard he pissed himself a little. changbin tried to help clean it up but used your good towel. the pink one.â
âNO.â
he hisses. âyeah, sorry.â
you sigh, reaching back with one hand to pat his thigh. âwhatever, iâll ask felix for a new one. speaking of, did you see what he did to my last magazine? ate half of it. i donât even know how to respond to that anymore.â
his hands squeeze your hips as he rolls against you again, his cock pressing nicely between your cheeks. still patient though. âiâll talk to him.â
âgod, heâs so empty up there.â you say fondly. the foodâs starting to look done. âbut he tries. in his weird way. two days ago he brought me a flower. like one. picked it himself. it was sweet.â
chanâs hips keep humping into yours, sometimes in circles. âthey all try. even seungmin. he bitched about your magazine the other day but i saw him reading the how to squirt article when he thought nobody was looking. turned the page so fast when i walked in. almost ripped it.â
you giggle. âheâs an angel. he leaves hickeys shaped like hearts sometimes. donât tell him i noticed.â
âwouldnât dream of it, baby.â oh, his voice is getting a little rougher, but he keeps the conversation going like nothingâs happening below the waist. skill. his free hand reaches around to steal a piece of broccoli from the pan, pops it in his mouth.
you turn the heat down and you lean back into him completely now, and he takes this deep, slow breath.
you smile, god, itâs weird that a smile comes so natural for you, compared to them, eyes half closed, enjoying him.âhey. i saw a bruise on your ribs two days ago when you were changing. it looked kinda nasty. you never told me how you got it. still hurting?â
he huffs against your hair, hips moving against your ass because he canât help it. âno big deal. just some guy got lucky. nothing broken. barely even feel it anymore.â
you donât buy it for a second. you turn around in his arms, grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it upward. âlet me see anyway.â
chan raises an eyebrow, the one without the cute little mole, but lifts his arms to help, that calm, sexy smirk on his face(embodiment of dr dr feel good come make me feel real good fr) as you peel the shirt off over his head and drop it on the counter behind him. oh thatâs dada right there. even with the bruise on his left side, ugly, purple yellow thing spread across his ribs, fresh.
your heart does a little twist, these guys are brutal, survive anything basically, but seeing him like this still makes you worry.
youâre the only one who worries for them like this. who knows them like this.
âfuck, chan⊠that looks like it hurts more than youâre letting on.â
you keep looking at him, not the bruise only,(of course) but just savoring that this is your man. that your man has this chest, these shoulders, these traps, these biceps, triceps, and not to forget that light little happy trail starting under his belly button, leading down into his jeans where his cock is visibly straining, begging for your attention.
itâs really important that itâs begging for yours specifically.
your hand slides down his stomach, fingertips moving over his abs, then lower. you cup him through his jeans, feeling how he presses against the layers of clothing. giving him a gentle squeeze, then a slow little tug, petting the outline of his cock.
chan takes a cute, deep little breath but he stays still, letting you touch however you want. ây/nâŠâ he mutters, plea. thereâs a tiny smile on his mouth. you want to rip him apart.
instead, you pull your groping hand away(the way his chest rises at that is panty dropping) and press under his belly button instead, pushing him back gently until his ass hits the edge of the counter.
he goes easy, leaning against it, watching you, letting you manhandle him because itâs you. his hands settle on the counter behind him.
you step in, rise up on your toes, and kiss him.
itâs slow. loving. a psychopathâs love on your lips, really. tasting each other.
one of his hands comes up to cradle the back of your head, the other on your waist, the soft wet sounds of making out in the quiet kitchen or the occasional pop from the cooling pan.
when you finally pull back you tilt your head and kiss along his jaw, then down to his neck. your mouth latches on, sucking blood up to the surface hard, leaving a trail of dark hickeys across his skin. so everyone will see it tomorrow and know exactly who put it there.
one goes right over the tendon that flexes when he swallows. thatâs your favorite.
chan tilts his head to give you more room, sighing and grabbing into your hair in pleasure, letting you mark him up.
you keep going, down, down, down, kissing down the center of his chest now. your knees donât even mind their position so just that your tongue can flick out over one of his nipples, circling it before you close your lips around it and suck gently.
chanâs hand pulls lightly at your hair, a soft grunt escaping him.
you part from him, giving the peaked little nipple(god youâre crazy about menâs nipples) one last little flick before you leave to lick across to the other one, giving it the same love, teeth involved now to make his abs tense under your finger.
lower. you sink down slowly, knees bending until youâre crouching in front of him, eyes locked on his the whole way. your hands slide up his thighs, feeling the muscle there before you lean in and press a soft kiss right to the bruise on his ribs.
soft, careful kisses right over the discolored skin. little pecks that turn into longer presses of your lips, tongue poking out on his hot skin. heâs such a man. a babe too, deep down.
âkissing it better.â you murmur on his skin, lips on the bruise where itâs turning yellowish now.
âitâs better already, baby. swear.â
you smile on the bruise and kiss it again. âgood. i hate when you get hurt and donât tell me. i want you to come home to me in one piece.â
âi always do.â he murmurs. his hand strokes your scalp gently. âalways come back to you.â
you move across his stomach then, kissing every inch of skin, dipping your tongue into his belly button for a second to hear the way his breath stutters. he likes that. then back up a little, licking over his nipples again on the way, sucking one into your mouth while your hand strokes lightly over his side.
back up, eventually, standing up again so you can kiss his mouth once more. this time chan meets you halfway, kissing you deeper now, tongue trying to meet yours immediately. big bad psycho man needed this now.
and heâs still so, so hard for you.
when you break the kiss you go back down again, lips finding his neck for more hickeys. you suck a particularly dark one on his collarbone, then soothe it with your tongue. not even close to the tendonâs number one spot in your favorites, but this looks good too. chanâs head is tipped back, eyes half lidded, blissed the fuck out. you kiss lower again, across his chest.
you move down to give the bruise another round of soft kisses, murmuring âstill kissing it better.â
âitâs perfect now. doesnât hurt at all. you fixed it.â
you always fix everything.
you give his hipbone a loving squeeze with both hands, then just again, rise up and kiss his neck again, add another hickey, then find his mouth.
now itâs getting mf wet. lips pulling and sucking until your knees are weak and itâs practically chan holding you up. but why wouldnât he when you pour this much care into every kiss, every lick, every mark?
he canât believe that heâs this lucky to have you. heâll have to go and thank hyunjin for choosing you back then. hyunjin, who chan doesnât feel bad for even while clearly seeing what heâs going through. he simply couldnât care when youâre there and in his mind instead. plus the dude will live anyway.
you lose track of how many times you travel that path. down and up, kissing, licking, sucking, making out. each round slower than the last. his neck is a mess of hickeys now, a field really, body hot and flushed, the bruise looking the same but he said you fixed it so you fixed it. his cock stays hard the whole time, straining, leaking a little but no seeping through, but you never touch it again after that first tease. this isnât about getting him off. itâs about you caring for your man, showing him with your mouth and hands that he matters, that his bruises get kissed, that his cold little psycho heart is safe with you, as crazy that is to say.
you could do this all night.
you pull back to look at him. his eyes are heavy, so beautiful, biiiiig lips a little red, fresh hickeys looking good on his skin. he looks thoroughly kissed and completely content. the dream man.
âhungry?â you ask quietly, nodding toward the cold food.
chan smiles, so rare. âstarving, baby. but not for that.â
he leans in and kisses you again, slow, hands sliding to your skin now.
you make everything perfect in his feelingless little world. you make the black and white colorful. you put a meaning into everything.
hours later youâre tangled up in your bed now, sheets kicked halfway off because the two of you went at it like animals after allat slow kissing in the kitchen getting both of you hot and bothered. clothes gone in a second, man fucked you into the mattress until both of you were shaking and swearing and cumming so loud(the way chan was shouting was delicious) the neighbors probably thought someone was getting murdered (again). now the afterglow has you both⊠like this, naked, sticky, limbs around each other.
chanâs face is on your tummy, cheek on your skin, arm draped over your hip. babeâs almost asleep, breathing slowly, warm puffs ghosting over your belly button every time he exhales. heâs about to fall asleep.
youâre on your back, legs loosely tangled with his, one hand buried in his hair while the other rests on his broad shoulder.
the state you left him in is fucking brutal.
his whole torso is⊠wow. dark hickeys on his chest, some overlapping where you sucked the same spot twice. a lot of them. like an unsettling amount at this point. thereâs a line of them down his stomach, fading into smaller ones right above where his cock is now soft and tucked against your thigh. his nipples are still a little puffy and red from how long you licked and sucked them. you even left a set of teeth marks on the inside of his left pec because you got carried away when he hit that spot inside you. his eyes rolled back then.
his back is shredded with your nail marks, long, red scratches running from his shoulder blades all the way down to the dimples above his ass. you can feel the raised lines under your fingertips when you slide your hand down there. thatâs how rough you went. youâll have to put something on it tomorrow. some cream. one particularly wild scratch is around his ribcage, right next to the bruise you spent so long kissing better earlier. on the side of his face, right under his cheekbone, thereâs a fading set of nail marks where you grabbed him while he was pounding into you and you were cumming so hard you saw stars. and then thereâs the hickey on his right ass cheek, even though itâs currently hidden under the crumpled sheet.
but right now, your full focus is on his curls.
youâre obsessed with them. theyâre so soft, a little damp from sweat, so cute over his forehead and around his ears. like wdym boys have their little hairs too and they live with it.
you thread your fingers through it slowly, scratching lightly at his scalp with your nails when not gently tugging at the hair itself.
chanâs eyes are closed but theyâre rolling the fuck back from pleasure under his pretty lids. he even lets out these tiny little âmhmfpâ sounds and (which he doesnât notice) his legs kick a little.
you smile at your big strong scary boyfriend and massage the base of his skull with your fingertips. another soft sound from him. his arm tightens around your hip before it loses tension again because you hit a good spot.
âyour hairâs so fucking pretty.â you murmur. you donât expect an answer. chan isnât big on pillow talk about feelings, but he listens. he always listens when you talk. heâs okay with you talking.
he knows you know. communication, obviously. hyunjin should learn.
you gather a handful of curls at the crown of his head and give a gentle tug, then release, watching them bounce back into place. chanâs eyelashes flutter against your skin and he makes almost a purr now. you repeat, scratching behind his ear with your nails, then smoothing the curls down only to mess them up again on purpose. all the tension he carries around (the kills, the other seven, the constant everything on everything) just drains out through your touch.
you were born to deal with these psychos, and each of them was born to be right in your palm.
you twirl one curl around your index finger until itâs tight, hold it for a second, then let go so it springs free. cute. chanâs lips part against your tummy and he lets out a quiet âfuckâŠâ under his breath. he can feel his love for you in his arms, not just his huge chest.
youâre like some cat, entertained by this. just playing around. how are they supposed to take your seriously like this??
you drag your nails from his hairline all the way back, then repeat, over and over. soothing. every pass earns you another one of those little sounds, sometimes a hum, sometimes just the tiniest hitch in his breath. big bad man who can choke someone out with one hand and stay completely calm while doing it is currently putty because youâre giving his hair some love.
you trace the shell of his ear with one fingertip, then bury your fingers back into the hair behind it. chan nuzzles closer to your tummy, nose(that you like riding so much) pressing into the soft skin there.
âi could do this for hours. theyâre softer than they look, you know that? and the way they curl right here at the nape of your neck⊠fuck, channie. itâs so cute how hot you are even when youâre being all sweet like this.â type shit good dick makes you say.
ânot sweet.â he mumbles, voice muffled and kinda raspy from all the groaning he did earlier. it sounds adorable. âjust⊠tired. you wore me out.â
âhm.â
you know him. he wonât suddenly start talking about his feelings or how much he loves you out loud. but the way his arm squeezes your hip, the way his whole body relaxed on yours(means a lot coming from a psycho who was never felt attachment before) the way he keeps making those baby little noises every time you hit a good spot, thatâs his version of iâm so fucking in love with you.
you keep playing with his hair for a long time. sometimes you just let your fingers rest in the curls, feeling the warmth of his scalp. boy warmth. sometimes you tug a little harder, and he rewards you with a deeper sound on your belly.
his nail marked back rises and falls under your arm. so sweet. heâs just a little meow meow(an unbelievably disgusting man to walk this earth)
you tug at a curl, watch it bounce, and smile when chan makes a little sound again. itâs so attractive. more attractive when you remember how fast he can snap spines. weird, how slowly you began to get over these little images. theyâre not upsetting anymore, but seeing it in real life would still freak you out, no doubt.
you do it once more, then smooth everything down with your palm, only to mess it all up again because you canât help yourself.
âlove your curls so much.â you murmur scratching behind his ear. âlove you, baby.â
chan, sleepy psycho he is, turns his face to press a kiss right below your belly button, then settles again, cheek back on your tummy.
god, you really do love this man.
âY/N!!!â
han.
home.
the front door slams. immediately after you hear changbinâs slightly panicked voice âjis, buddy, please, calm down, theyâre probably restingââ
something crashes. glass? a lamp? maybe the coffee table. another crash, louder. a third noise sounds suspiciously like a chair being thrown across the living room???
you and chan both sigh at the exact same time.
âshouldâve locked the door.â he mutters.
before you can answer, the bedroom door flies open.
âhi y/n!! hi chan!!â han says, already kicking his shoes off so hard one of them smacks the wall and leaves a black little stain. you keep telling him to take them off at the door. âyou guys wonât believe the day i had! i tried to steal this guyâs car but the keys were in his pocket so i had to cut his pocket off first and then the pocket had a hole and the keys fell into a sewer grate and then felix tried to reach in after them but his arm got stuck andââ heâs talking a mile a minute while simultaneously peeling his shirt off over his head. pants next, he hops on one foot, almost falls, catches himself on the dresser, then yanks them down along with his boxers halfway before stopping and pulling the boxers back up. he leaves them on, thank god. ââand then the guy woke up even though i swore i hit him hard enough and he started screaming so i had to sit on his face until he stopped moving and his nose made this wet crunch sound and blood came out his ears and it was so gross but also kinda funny and then changbin said i couldnât keep the car anyway because it had blood on the seatsââ
he fucking lifts the covers like itâs his god given fucking right and crawls into bed, wiggling between you and chan. half on top of you, one arm over your waist, face nuzzling into the side of your bare boob. his leg kicks out, his foot ends up between chanâs ass cheeks under the sheets.
chan doesnât even fucking care anyone, just shifts his hips because whatever itâs han.
hanâs pretty voice is slightly muffled against your tit now. âanyway i missed you so much i thought about you the whole time even when i was pulling that guyâs teeth out with pliers and you smell like sex. thatâs nice. did chan make you cum a lot? heâs good at that. iâm getting better too, remember last time i lasted four minutes instead of twoââ
changbin catches up, now at the door too looking exhausted. âi tried. i really tried to keep him outside longer. he just⊠ran.â
you smile, still playing with chanâs hair with one hand while the other reaches out toward changbin âcâmere, baby. itâs fine.â
he doesnât need telling twice. he strips fast, shirt folded (really important that he folds it), pants folded, everything placed carefully on the chair(seungmin usually sits in when is not in the mood but still wants to be involved in some way) like a good boy before he closes the door behind himself. then he climbs into bed on your other side, under the covers and cuddling up to you with his head on your shoulder, one big arm going on you too, just under hanâs dumb arm and above chanâs being.
now. we got, chanâs face still on your tummy, hanâs face in your tits, changbinâs face tucked into your neck, his thigh just where his underwear ends next to chanâs head, and hanâs foot still living happily between chanâs asscheeks. chan doesnât mention it. han sure as fuck doesnât notice.
you hum, a little sleepy. âseungmin is gonna be so fucking mad when he finds out he missed this. left out again. heâs gonna lose his shit. someone should text him.â
han lifts his pretty head to nod. âyeah. last time he found out we had group time without him he got so pissed he took it out on that one delivery guy. seungmin dragged him into the alley, beat his face in with the pizza box, then used the guyâs own belt to strangle him. the pizza was cold by the time we ate it. sad.â
changbin noses at your skin. âor remember when han accidentally sat in minâs favorite spot on the couch? he didnât say anything, just waited until han went to take a piss, then followed him into the bathroom, slammed his head into the mirror three times, and made him apologize to the toilet while bleeding everywhere.â
han giggles. âyeah!! my forehead scar is from that! looks kinda cool though. he said ânext time iâll use the plungerâ and i believed him so i donât sit there anymore.â
you snort, still playing with chanâs hair. âjesus. and the stranger thing last month?â
han is visibly excited to tell you about that, foot flexing happily between chanâs cheeks. âoh oh!! seungmin was already mad because jeongin stole his last cigarette, so when this random dude at the gas station bumped into him and didnât say sorry, he grabbed the guy by the hair, slammed his face into the pump like eight times, then ripped the nozzle out and shoved it down the dudeâs throat. started pumping gas straight into his stomach. guy died. we had to hose min off.â
changbin sighs into your shoulder. âhe does get⊠creative when heâs angry. last time he thought chan was hogging you too much he keyed chanâs car with the word âselfishâ and then slashed all four tires. chan just fixed it and told seungmin to grow up. seungmin punched a hole in the wall after.â
âheâs lucky i like you more than i like my car.â chan mumbles into your stomach.
âmhm.â comes from han. âhe also stabbed jeongin in the thigh with a fork then. jeongin screamed so loud felix dropped his human finger sandwich. he still walks funny sometimes. anyway, he can stay mad. iâm comfy. can i sleep here forever? even if seungmin comes home and tries to castrate me with a spoon?â home. like aw his psycho brain recognized this place as home.
changbin yawns, cuddling closer. âhe probably will try. but iâll protect you. mostly. unless he brings the brick again.â the brick. what could have that been.
you hum an agreement out. too lazy to speak. (but not to play with chanâs hair)
yeah long story short seungmin did end up losing his shit the next morning.
he walked in, already tired and done with everything(but when is he not) saw the four of you tangled up naked and cuddly, and went aaaall the fuck out. didnât touch you, didnât even look at you wrong. youâre his god. instead he grabbed changbin by the throat, slammed him into the wall, and started hitting him. men.
changbin, brutal respect to him here(zero respect heâs a murderer), took the first three punches like a champ, blood already dripping from his lip, before he finally swung back because seungmin wasnât stopping.
they took it to the living room. seungmin headbutted changbin, so he picked seungmin up and body slammed him through the coffee table. seungmin came up laughing like a fucking maniac, genuinely what the fuck is his problem, tackled changbin into the tv, and they rolled around punching and choking and bleeding all over your floor.
they finally stopped when seungmin bit changbinâs shoulder hard enough to draw blood and make him unable to use that arm since the muscle hurt that much and changbin accidentally elbowed him in the balls. both of them ended up on the floor panting, covered in each otherâs blood, too tired to keep going.
you made them both clean the mess while you and chan and han ate in bed.
but seungmin never once got mad at you. not even a little. youâre the only thing in his life that doesnât get this treatment. youâre sacred.
he respects you like crazy. dead serious.
example, last week you told him âminnie, babe, can you keep an eye on felix? i wonât be home and he keeps chasing the mailman and iâm tired of it.â
âgot it.â
later you come home and felix is tied to a kitchen chair with zip ties and a gag in his mouth. gnawing on the gag making happy cannibal noises but doesnât move an inch. package is sitting untouched on the counter. that night you licked seungmin head to toe for that. he melted the fuck away. submissive babe.
another time youâre running late and you text him âmake sure han eats something before 8pm. he gets hangry and starts humping the furniture.â
seungmin replies with a thumbs up emoji (which is the most effort he ever puts into texting). when you get home han is sitting at the table eating a full plate of spaghetti while seungmin stands over him with crossed arms. han has sauce all over his face and is mumbling âthis is so good bro thank youâ
you once told him âif jeongin is in the kitchen for more than twenty minutes, drag his ass outside and make him run laps until he keeps his cocktail recipes to himself.â
next day jeongin comes back sweaty and red faced, thighs burning, muttering âseungmin made me sprint while he timed me.â
seungmin just shrugs when you look at him. âhe did eight laps. youâre welcome.â
you told him once that the group chat was getting too spammy and you wanted one day of peace. he immediately changed the group name to âshut the fuck up unless someoneâs deadâ and then threatened to remove anyoneâs tongue if they messaged you after 8pm. jeongin sent a dick pic next to a corpse at 8:45. seungmin showed up at jeonginâs place ten minutes later with a pair of pliers. innie still canât feel his left pinky. you took this rule out of order because you knew worse shit will happen.
heâs a violent, mean, sick fuck to everyone else on the planet, but the second you speak he turns into the most loyal little dog who ever lived. itâs actually kinda hot.
anyway.
days later you told the others you needed one single afternoon of peace with just changbin. they all whined except seungmin, and he teamed up with jeongin and hyunjin to entertain han for the day. they took him to the zoo.
han, to start the day, tried to climb into the monkey enclosure but luckily fell off. jeongin flirted with three different zookeepers trying to get them to let han âpet the big cats.â hyunjin drew the penguins and showed it to the sea lions. seungmin mostly stood there smoking, threatening to skin anyone who looked at the others wrong, but even he cracked a smile when han tried to hug a llama and got spit on.
at some point hyunjin stood at the lion exhibit monologuing about how the lions understood his pain and maybe he should just live in the savanna now. why is he fucking hilarious. han tried to feed the monkeys his own fingers. seungmin slapped his hand away. jeongin tried to steal a peacock feather for you and got chased by security. hyunjin cried because the butterflies were âtoo free and i am trapped in my longing for y/n.â seungmin threatened to throw all three of them into the shark tank if they didnât behave. they behaved for exactly eleven minutes before han saw the gift shop and sprinted inside.
by noon, he almost got fucking bitten like three times. he kept pointing at every animal and yelling for the others to look too, jeongin flirted with the zookeeper girl so hard she gave him free popcorn, then immediately turned around and told hyunjin âsheâs nothing compared to y/n.â they lost hyunjin for twelve whole minutes. he was talking with a dad whose kid was running around screaming.
at the end of the day they had dirt on then, ice cream, and a new knife. jeongin had hickeys from making out with the gift shop girl who slapped him after he moaned ây/nâ into the kiss. he really did it just to imagine it was you kissing him. hyunjin was quietly crying into his notebook.
which brings us here.
you and changbin are finally alone in the big corner bathtub, water hot enough that steam is fogging the mirror and changbin is fucking dying inside but would rather boil alive than complain. the jets are not on a big setting, so theyâre just working a bit on binnieâs back, and the whole bathroom smells like your fancy bath salts that you love and of course the boys will buy for you!!
the water is perfect for you, relaxing, changbin is lowkey dying. his chest and shoulders are turning red from the heat, little beads of sweat rolling down his temples, but he doesnât say a single word. whatever you want goes.
youâre straddling his lap facing him, arms around his neck. his hands rest gently on your hips under the water, giving you all the love his sick little heart has.
you lean in and kiss him softly, lips sliding together warm and wet from the steam. really wet, he has to die from the heat. send help. but he kisses back just as gentle, tongue brushing yours in wet little strokes. you pull back a little, smile, then kiss him again, noses bumping, water sloshing quietly around you. creates a nice atmosphere.
your hands go down to move up and down his sides, nails dragging lightly over his wet skin. just teasing, running from his ribs down to his hips and back up again. naked men hips are breathtaking, on all eight of them.
every touch makes changbin shiver even in the boiling water. he makes a soft little sound into your mouth, almost a little moan, and kisses you again, sweeter. he could do this for hours and never get tired. well maybe he could pass out from the heat instead whatever.
you tilt your head, kiss the corner of his mouth, then his bottom lip, sucking on it gently before sliding your tongue back in. his hands tighten on your hips, then relaxes again, brain trying to deal with all these feelings.
you keep running your nails up his sides, soothing. he shudders, has to pull away to breathe for a second, then captures your mouth again in another kiss. innocent one.
his hands slide up from your hips, slow. sweet, not the palms that break bones but the palms that find your tits, cupping them both from underneath. so precious to him. heâs holding. thumbs brushing little circles over the soft skin next to your nipples, the more inside of your boobs, closer to your sternum. so loving. a manâs love, for you.
his psycho mind is still catching up to all of this, you can tell. the only high he ever chased was the wet pop of a neck snapping or the way blood sprayed across his face when he carved someone the fuck up. that was love to him. that was everything. (and his car. he loves that car.)
now he feels for you. love. actual love. really a still going crush that makes his chest hurt in the middle of a kill and get him excited that heâll get to see you later.
but god, it also makes him do shit like this.
he leans in and kisses you again, wetter, weaker this time, mouth slow and so fucking sweet. his lips are plush from the steam, a little swollen already from how long youâve been making out. he parts them on yours, tongue sliding in, tasting the inside of your mouth, heâs got all day to explore after all.
no rush.
just gentle, the soft suck of his bottom lip pulling yours in, then releasing, then doing it again.
you feel the way his jaw moves under your palm when you cup his face, the pretty shape of it flexing while he kisses you. itâs so intimate. only you can give him this.
one of his hands stays on your tit, while the other slides down your side, not once leaving your beloved skin, all the way to your ass. grips it gently, palm full of you, pulling you bit closer so your chests press together.
his little tummy squishes nice against your stomach when you settle in, so attractive. combined with the manly smell of him, intoxicating. plus heâs sweating so much now the water on his shoulders looks like itâs glowing under the bathroom light, fucking droplets sliding down his body before disappearing into the tub.
even though nothing about this is sexual to him right now (heâs not thinking about fucking, heâs thinking about how you feel, how much he loves you, how lucky he is), his cock is hard between you anyway. pressed up against your mound under the water, twitching everytime you shift or your nails drag up his face, or down to his side again. so sweet, the little guy reacting too.
he doesnât even acknowledge it, though. just keeps kissing you, the hard on is nothing, something his body does because itâs stupid and in love.
every pass of your nails on his body earns you a tiny sound from him, little moans. so cute.
he kisses you harder for a second, tongue moving around yours, then pulls back to breathe. he needs it.
you drag your nails up his ribs again, slow, smiling at him, and he shudders, hard, mouth going back to yours immediately. he smiles into the kiss, the cutie(only feels excitement when snuffing out a human life) canât help it, and tries to pulls you closer by the ass, just to feel more of you on him. his sweaty chest slides against your tits, the hand still cupping one of them giving the softest squeeze... was that a giggle he let out against your lips?
this is what you did to him. turned a man who only ever got hard from the smell of blood into someone who gets hard from your smile and your nails and the way you look at him.
he pulls back just a tiny baby bit, side of his nose brushing the side of yours.
ââŠy/n.â
âmm?â
he swallows, pink face somehow getting even pinker. âitâs⊠so hot.â
you giggle. he thinks youâre beautiful. âthe water, baby? or me?â
âthe water.â he mumbles, looking guilty. âi mean you too. but iâm boiling alive. my skin feels like itâs gonna peel off.â
you laugh, tilting your head back. heâd die for you. âand you didnât say shit?â you lean back in, kiss the tip of his nose, then his flushed cheek. âget the fuck out then. go cool off.â
he moans. maybe at the relief, maybe because he doesnât want to leave your touch yet.
you pat his chest. âgo. iâll follow in a minute. promise.â
he nods, presses one last slow kiss to your mouth, a little long, but no tongue this time, then carefully lifts you off his lap and sets you back down in the water. the jets keep working on your prettt back as he stands up.
fuck, the view.
water runs off his body, in sheets, on his muscles, his shape, his little soft tummy, water dripping from his still hard cock that bobs between his thick thighs. his skin is almost red everywhere the water touched. chest, shoulders, arms, even the tops of his ears. the nail marks you left on his sides stand out. the hickeys you sucked into his neck look almost purple now, they fit him. you almost wrap a hand around his cock, itâs so there, but really donât want him overheating so you behave. he steps out of the tub carefully, feet leaving wet prints on the rug you love so much and hit felix once with when he was bad, and reaches for the towel hanging on the rack.
you watch every second of it. chewing on your nail.
the way his back muscles shift when he grabs the towel, the long red scratches you put there. the way his ass flexes, round, soft. the way his little tummy jiggles just slightly when he turns to face you again, towel in hand, cock still hard, now not visible because the towel in his hand just hangs over it. it hasnât gotten the memo that nothing dirty is up.
he starts drying off slowly, rubbing the towel over his chest, down his stomach, on the scratches, then lower, patting his thighs dry while water keeps dripping from his hair onto his shoulders. fuck.
the way youâre biting your lips, heâs resisting the urge to dive back into the water to you.
towel now wrapped around his hips so it barely covers the bulge, he leans down, presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. âiâll be in the bedroom. take your time.â
you watch him walk out, towel moving on his cute little ass.
the door clicks shut behind him, leaving you alone in the hot water with a stupid smile on your face.
weird.
duality of man. killer but also oh i wonât say anything about my organs getting boiled because y/n is comfy.
y/n is comfy.
you sink a little deeper into the water, grinning, letting the heat soak into you while you picture his cute ass in the bedroom, probably lying on the bed in just the towel, fanning himself, waiting patiently for you. the best boy.
yeah long story short after you got out of that boiling tub you rode him to almost death.
he was waiting on the bed in just a towel like you imagined he would, still pink and sweaty, looking at you with those big shining eyes. (those only go for his lady, no victim or hyunjin puking at home could make him feel what you feel) you climbed on top of him, pushed him flat, and took what you wanted. rode him until he was shaking, until his eyes rolled back, until he came so hard he went cross eyed and almost passed out. then you kept going until you got yours too, grinding down on him while he whimpered and begged and told you he loved you.
afterward he just laid there like a dead man, chest heaving, covered in fresh scratches and hickeys, towel long gone, cock soft and messy against his thigh. you curled up on his little tummy like it was a pillow and passed out with his arm around you.
next morning.
but todayâs mission is simpler.
take felix to his doctorâs check up.
dumb fuck knows the way to your place at least(one of the things he doesnât forget)
when he arrives heâs wearing one of your stolen hoodies, baby give it back, (oh heâll get the bathroom mat again for that), and a pair of sweatpants that are backwards. his hair is not messy, surprisingly.
ây/n, weâre going to the doctor together, a date!â
you sigh and walk over to fix his pants(expensive pants, wtf) the right way around. he giggles the whole time, blushing when you pull his pants down and also blushing when you pull them up. âfelix, baby, pants go front first. we talked about this.â
âoh. right.â then he leans in and nuzzles your neck, breathing you in. âyou smell like binnie. thatâs nice.â
you pat his head, fingers sliding through his soft hair. heâs so stupidly beautiful. why does he have to eat magazines and people?
âcome on, dummy. shoes on. letâs not be late.â
you finally get him out the door. he holds your hand the entire walk to the car, swinging your arm, and every few steps he stops to point at random shit.
âlook, a bird. do you think it has feelings? i have feelings now. mostly about meat and you.â âthat cloud looks like a kidney. iâm hungry now.â
heâs not fucking brain dead, no matter how much we refer to him to as one, so you donât even have to tell him to buckle himself in. literally the dumbest thing anyone can do is not buckle themselves in. please iâm begging you to and stay safe.
âyouâre so pretty. and smart. and you let me sleep in your bed sometimes.â he tells you while you drive.
âthank you, lix.â
crazy. a pretty face that makes people do double takes right before he rips their throat out with his teeth. and last week he bought you a diamond necklace. the range these boys move on is unbelievable. and sweet, considering that youâre their first⊠first of most things. thereâs only one of you in their lives, like a âonce-in-a-lifetime connection, essentially love at first sightâ says google about a zing from hotel transylvania. âwhere monsters immediately identify their soulmate.â our only off here is that it wasnât an immediate realization, anyways âit represents an undeniable, electric attraction, bla bla bla(iâm skipping sentences here, not quoting dracula) that often leads to a lifelong bond.â there we go. youâre their almost zing.
the waiting room is quiet. normal people. magazines (the ones he hasnât eaten at home). his pretty ass sits next to you, looking around.
âremember what i told you in the car?â
he nods. âmhm. no talking about eating people. no talking about the mailman. no talking about killing. or the boys.â
âgood boy.â
the nurse calls you both and sheâs immediately smitten with you. her eyes light up when she sees how gently youâre guiding felix by the hand. she chats with you the whole time youâre in the exam room while felix sits on the paper covered table swinging his legs.
âheâs so lucky to have you.â she says warmly while taking his vitals. âmost patients his age come in alone and act like itâs the end of the world. you two are adorable.â
felix smiles at her, then at you, then leans over and tries to rest his head on your chest right there in front of her. âsheâs the best. i love her so much iâd die for her. or kill for her. orââ
âlix.â you cut in sweetly.
ââor just be really good and not say anything weird.â he finishes, giggling.
heâs so underweight the scale actually beeps in concern when they weigh him.
the nurse frowns at the number. âheâs lost three more pounds since last visit. are you sure heâs eating enough?â
you sigh and launch into the usual cover story while felix distracts himself by counting the dots on the ceiling tiles out loud. âheâs just got a crazy fast metabolism. burns everything off. we try to keep him on high calorie stuff but heâs picky. likes⊠meat. a lot of meat.â
felix perks up. âyeah, big chunks of meat. sometimes raw if iâm in a hurryââ
âcooked.â you interrupt smoothly, shooting him a look. âalways cooked. heâs just dramatic about textures.â
the nurse nods sympathetically, clearly buying it because youâre so calm and put together and she already likes you.
she starts checking his arms and freezes when she sees the mess. bite marks. deep ones. some fresh, some old and scarred over. bruises in the shape of fingers, knuckles, teeth. scars. one perfect crescent bite right above his elbow that definitely came from changbin during one of their play fights.
âoh my⊠what happened here?â she asks, concerned.
felix giggles again, swinging his legs harder. âoh those? thatâs fromââ
you clamp a hand over his fuckass mouth and lean in to whisper to the nurse. âheâs⊠a little mentally disabled, you know? just a touch. gets confused sometimes. wanders off, bumps into things, doesnât always understand personal space.â fucking lie. there is nothing wrong with felix that can be diagnosed. well, except him being a total psycho, but that has nothing to do with him being dumb. he really is just this empty. but thatâs not a disability. âhe doesnât know heâs different. we try not to make him feel bad about it. the bruises are from him playing too rough with the other boys at home. and the bite marks, well, he gets excited and nibbles when heâs happy. like a puppy.â
the nurseâs eyes go big immediately. she nods. âoh, bless his heart. that makes so much sense. youâre such a good girlfriend.â
felix is sitting on the table swinging his legs, humming a little song under your hand while he stares at the poster of the human digestive system. every few seconds he reaches out to touch your arm or your hair, smiling when you let him.
you take the hand away, keep chatting with the nurse while she checks more of him. she asks about his diet again and you spin the same story âhe only likes certain textures, lots of protein, weâre trying to get him to eat more veggies but itâs a process.â you donât mention that his version of protein usually comes from humans and the changes in weight is because he canât always get what heâs craving, throws tantrums and doesnât eat or eats lots at one sitting or just a little fruit plate you made him. heâs okay, no reason to worry about his weight, it always changes and heâs doing fine. human is just⊠not what usually humans eat.
the nurse looks horrified but also impressed by how casually you handle it. âthat sounds exhausting for you. youâre such a good partner taking him to all these appointments.â
felix leans over and plants a loud, wet kiss on your cheek, leaving a little spit trail. âsheâs the best partner. iâd eat the world for her. wait no, iâd buy her the world.â
you pat his head, smiling at the nurse.
she laughs softly, clearly charmed by the whole thing. âyou two are honestly the cutest couple iâve seen in months. most guys his age are rude. heâs an angel.â
felix smiles. âthank you.â
the nurse melts. âoh my gosh, heâs adorable. so innocent.â
you manage to keep a straight face. innocent. sure. the same guy who rips people apart with his bare hands and teeth.
okay. doctor. another woman. when the doctor tries to check his blood pressure and he starts giggling uncontrollably because âthe squeeze feels funny!! like when seungmin chokes me but nicer!!â
when she asks him to open his mouth for the tongue depressor he sticks his tongue out as far as it goes and tries to lick the stick.
you have to physically hold his hand down when she goes for the reflex hammer because he keeps trying to snatch it.
the doctor ends up looking at you. âdoes he⊠always do this?â
âyes.â you say flatly. âevery single day.â
doctor looks at the nurse. nurse nods in confirmation. great.
âany recent injuries?â
âuhhh i cut my finger last week but then i ate the scab so itâs fine now!!â
âany dietary concerns?â
âi only eat⊠beef.â that was a taught answer.
âany sexual activity?â
ây/n and me havenât had sex yet but i really really want to. she lets me cuddle though and thatâs almost as good. sometimes i hump her leg when sheâs sleeping but i think thatâs normal right?â
you smack his arm. âfelix.â
âsorry!!â he giggles, not sorry at all.
the doctor just sighs and moves on.
blood draw, felix sits there swinging his legs, holding your hand, and when the needle goes in he doesnât even react??? fucking crazy, what he is.
on the way out he gets a lollipop. he unwraps it, sucks on it happily, leaning against you in the parking lot, so pretty it hurts.
âthat was fun.â he mumbles around the lollipop. âcan we come back next week? i wanna see if they have bigger lollipops. i want you to take me the next time too.â
you sigh, pull him down by the collar of your hoodie to kiss his forehead. he calms down immediately, eyes closing, making a dumb happy noise in his throat.
so. getting back to your place, finally, holding felixâs hand while the other unlocks your door.
han is on your couch, legs kicked up on the coffee table, looking too hot and manly like that for the fact that heâs watching a cartoon about talking animals solving mysteries. a really colorful cartoon. next to him, also watching the dumb cartoon, is hyunjin. grown ass, pretty as sin hyunjin, one elbow on the armrest, temple resting on two fingers, eyebrow pushed up so high itâs basically in his hairline. his face screams i am getting closer to the void and also why the fuck is this rabbit wearing pants. think of the steve harrington picture in tiktok comment sections.
itâs fucking hilarious.
you pat felixâs back. âgo play with them, baby.â
âokay!â he skips over (actual skips) and drops himself right between han and hyunjin.
now itâs han on the right, giggling and pointing at the screen, felix in the middle swinging his legs and making little âheheheâ sounds, and hyunjin on the left still doing the exact same temple finger pose, eyebrow frozen in existential crisis.
you shake your head and head toward the kitchen.
changbin is standing by the counter in nothing but sweatpants(that he left at your place for occasions exactly like these, just a reminder, you two fucked last night) the second he sees you his whole face does that adorable thing, big dumb smile breaking out, shoulders dropping, his posture getting better. there are faint nail marks visible across his sides, one dark hickey peeking above the waistband.
he meets you halfway, arms already open.
you cup his face and kiss him soft and sweet. he melts into it immediately, like melts, big hands settling gently on your waist, humming happily into your mouth.
âmissed you.â he mumbles when he pulls away. âhow was the doctor?â
âfine. he didnât slip. you guys described it as worse.â
âbecause with us, it is.â
over at the kitchen counter seungmin and jeongin are sitting on the stools, seungmin is shoveling cereal into his mouth, while jeongin gestures with his spoon. they both waved when you came in.
ââso then i told the guy if he screamed again iâd shove the pliers up his urethra instead of his nose.â seungmin says around a mouthful of cereal.
jeongin nods. âsolid. i prefer the slow eyeball route. makes them really panic, yâknow?â
âyeah but eyeballs pop too fast. nose takes longer.â
you sigh and reach over to grab jeonginâs empty bowl. seungmin still has half a bowl left so you leave his alone. you rinse jeonginâs out quick, put it into the dishwasher, then, a loud crash comes from the bathroom. something heavy hitting tile, followed by a grunt and the sound of something hitting the wall.
you stop.
from the couch han yells without looking away from the cartoon âminho and chan are in there settling something!!â
hyunjin is still not breaking eye contact with the talking rabbit. âtheyâve been at it for twenty minutes. something about whose turn it was to hide the last body.â
whatever. theyâll sort it out.
seungmin finally glances at you, spoon halfway to his mouth. âyou good?â
âyeah. itâs fine.â
jeongin looks up at you. sweet boy. (if we made a chart of whoâs the worst from the boys heâd be in the top three) âwant me to go break it up?â
âno. let them fight. theyâll tire themselves out.â
another crash, this one sounds like the toilet paper holder getting ripped clean off the wall and then immediately used as a weapon. thereâs a wet smack, then a low grunt from chan that turns into a growl. something heavy drags across the floor. then a loud metallic clang that can only be the shower curtain rod being bent into a new shape.
you sigh. âwhatever.â
comes the sound of a head being bounced off the sink. then the unmistakable noise of the medicine cabinet exploding open, bottles and tubes falling, then plastic crack against bone.
wetness that sounds suspiciously like someoneâs face getting pressed into the toilet bowl, followed by gurgling and chan laughing. then a high pitched metallic screech as the towel rack gets torn off the wall.
glass shatters, probably the mirror, and thereâs another crash. then a wet slap like someone just got bitch slapped onto the wet tile, followed by both of them breathing hard and⊠is that minho laughing?
you keep loading the dishwasher, rinsing a spoon, plates.
more thuds, the crack of knuckles against jaw, mean groaning, the shower turning on by accident and spraying water everywhere, someone slipping and eating shit with a loud âfuckââ then both of them cursing at the same time.
men.
silence.
the bathroom door finally opens. out stumble minho and chan looking⊠fucking horrible, jesus.
both shirtless, obviously. clothes got shredded somewhere between the sink and the shower curtain. chanâs got his left eye shut, swelling, a perfect imprint of your toilet brush handle branded across his cheek, and three long gashes across his chest that look suspiciously like they came from minhoâs nails trying to claw his heart out for sport. thereâs a fork, a FUCKING DINNER FORK sticking straight out of his left shoulder, blood trickling down his abs. more bruises on his ribs already. what happened to his nipple?
minhoâs not doing any better. heâs limping hard on his right leg because thereâs a broken piece of the shower curtain rod jammed into his thigh. what the fuck. bloodâs soaking his pants. his whole torso is filled with bite marks, type shit anger makes men do, and his neck has a perfect circle of teeth where chan tried to rip his throat out. one of his ears is red and bloody, and thereâs soap still bubbling in a nasty open cut across his forehead. heâs leaning sideways, same as chan.
you whine. âboys!â
they both freeze. chan tries to play it chill, blood dripping off his chin, but even he looks sheepish. minho just stares at you with those dead creepy eyes, blood trickling down his temple.
you point at the kitchen stools. âsit! fuckâs sake.â
they drag their feet over and drop onto the stools with grunts of pain. chan winces when the fork in his shoulder shifts. minhoâs whole being makes a wet squelch.
the other three in the kitchen watch the whole thing, eyebrows raised. not at the injuries, just trying to guess it youâre gonna freak out internally or youâll break a wooden spoon on their heads.
you grab the giant fucking first aid kit from under the sink (the one thatâs basically a hospital in a box at this point, you need it with them) and stand between chanâs spread knees. first the fork. you grip the handle gentle, thumb stroking his collarbone to distract him.
âdeep breath.â
you yank. chan hisses through his teeth. blood wells up and you immediately press a thick pad of gauze to the hole, holding it firm while you murmur âgood boy, thatâs it, almost done.â
you tape it down tight, then move to the toilet brush imprint on his cheek. you dab it with antiseptic, lots of it, blowing cool air on the sting. he could snap a neck one handed. âthis oneâs gonna bruise pretty. makes you look tough though. my tough man.â he leans into your touch, looking up at you. such a pathetic little sweetpea. (worst man to exist)
next the chest gashes. you clean each one with a warm cloth, wiping away blood, then smear antibiotic over the red lines. the other four watch your ass while you do it. some of jeonginâs drool end up on the countertop.
you save the (looks like bitten) nipple for last. itâs swollen and angry and⊠seeping a little. you clean it extra gentle, tongue clicking softly. âminho really went for blood huh?â
by the time youâre done with him he has gauze everywhere, tape crisscrossing his chest, but at least heâs not leaking on your floor anymore. looks good though. new thing to try in the bedroom.
now minho.
you look at the curtain rod in his thigh. âboys?â
seungmin is lazy to help. just sits there with his now finished bowl, also lazy to put that into the dishwasher, watching the two other boys fight the rod out of minhoâs leg.
they succeed. the rod comes out with a wet schlick and a fresh gush of blood.
you shove gauze into the injury immediately, your other arm curling around his pretty head to rock him a little. âthere you go, deep breaths, i got you.â he gets a head kiss too. âinnie, can you get his pants?â
âyeah.â
minho holds into you. arms around you. heâs adorable.
when he gets minhoâs pants off for you, you wrap the whole thing, around and around his thick leg(hot) until it looks like heâs wearing a cast.
you move up to the ear next. it looks horrible. you clean the torn, TORN parts, murmuring âpretty boyâ he holds onto your hip, eyes squeezed, breathing hard.
but survives. gets a temple kiss and a âgood as new.â from you when heâs done.
the bite marks across his torso take forever. thereâs like twenty of them, some overlapping though. you clean every single one, slow and loving, so loving, wiping away dried blood and fresh fluids, then smoothing ointment over each perfect imprint of chanâs teeth.
minho feels crazy. crazy in love. and crazy violent from it. he feels like heâs going to blow up.
you finish with the cut on his forehead. you wipe it clean, dab some cream on it, then press a butterfly bandage over it while blowing gently on the sting. âall done, creepy.â
meanwhile, oh your fucking god, the shit jeongin and seungmin talk about. just running their mouths.
jeongin: âlook at her go. nurse y/n in the house. bet sheâs got better bedside manner than the one who stitched my dick back together last month.â
seungmin, when he had a mouth full of cereal: âminhoâs thigh looks like a glory hole.â
âa hole is a hole, bro.â
changbin gives your back a supportive caress from time to time. at least heâs helpful.
in the living room, han keeps tugging on hyunjinâs sleeve, watching the dog fly on some cheese rocket now. what the fuck are they watching seriously. âhyune, look!! the dogâs flying, thatâs so cool! do you think i could fly if i ate enough cheese too??â
felix tugs the other sleeve. âhyunjin hyunjin hyunjin!! what if the cheese was made of people?? would it fly faster??â
hyunjin sighs through his nose. âyes, han. flying cheese is a legitimate theoretical concept in cartoon physics. and no, lix, human cheese would probably just smell bad and attract more cannibals. now watch the rabbit, heâs about to say something stupid.â
back in the kitchen you step back and look at your work. gauze, tape, bandages, kisses on every injury. both of them are still leaning sideways but at least theyâre not bleeding on your floor anymore. you did great.
you wipe your hands on a towel and plant a hand on each of their heads, ruffling minhoâs hair and smoothing chanâs. âyou two are idiots. next time settle it by arm wrestling like normal men.â
chan hums. minhoâs pretty ass just stares up at you with those wet eyes. you fixed more than just the holes in his body.
felix tugs hyunjinâs sleeve again. âhyu!! the cheese is winning!!â
hyunjin sighs. âyes. the cheese is indeed victorious. profound metaphor for life.â ???
âyo.â jeongin says, holding his pretty face in his hands. âthis is exactly like that time hyunjin and seungmin went for each otherâs throats in the woods house. remember? shit was biblical, bro.â
seungmin sighs. âbiblical my ass. pretty emo bitch tried to slit my throat with a fucking wine opener.â
changbin bounces a little against the counter. âi was there. thought we were gonna have to bury one of them in the backyard. or both.â
minho looks up at you(he looks like a wet kitten) and then back at the others. âhyunjin ended up with a corkscrew through his left nut.â
chan nods, watching the floor. âyeah. he tried to stab min with the fireplace poker. missed and put it through his own foot instead. then seungmin shoved his head into the deer head mounted on the wall. hyunjin looked horrible. then they started rolling around on the rug. seungmin ended up with a black eye shaped exactly like hyunjinâs ring. hyune had teeth marks on his ass so deep we could read minâs dental records.â
jeongin leans forward. âdonât forget the part where seungmin tried to drown hyunjin in the hot tub. then hyunjin started talking about how minâs mother was a whore while bleeding from the mouth. seungmin threw him through the glass coffee table. hyunjin had glass shards in his back for days.â
âstill managed to kick me in the balls so hard i pissed blood for three days.â seungmin mutters.
âbut you ripped his pants off with teeth and then tried to shove a whole fucking log up his ass as revenge.â jeongin says.
âthen he smashed my face into an anthill.â god, seungmin being bratty is so hot.
chan shifts, even though it clearly hurts his ribs. âthey both ended up tied to the same tree with duct tape because we got tired of the noise.â
âokay but what even is the woods house?â you ask.
changbin is a babe. âit was this rich victimâs vacation cabin. super cool, big stone fireplace, hot tub on the deck overlooking the lake, full kitchen, basement we turned into a playroom for⊠you know, guests who donât leave. sorry. innie put the deed in his own name after we cleaned the place out, so now itâs technically ours. we go there sometimes.â
jeongin wiggles his eyebrows at you. âand itâs been way too long since we went. the hot tubâs probably lonely. the basementâs collecting dust. we should all go. take you with us this time, y/n.â
seungmin leans down to slap the side of your thigh. âyeah. i could chase you through the trees a little. hm?â
âew ew ew.â jeongin puts his hands up. ânot in front of me, bro.â
âpussy.â
minhoâs creepy eyes actually sparkle for once. âi could show you the basement. lots of hooks. soundproof.â ???
chan grunts in agreement, looking half asleep on his stool. âyouâd like it.â
âhyunjin!! hyunjin!!â
âdude look!! theyâre getting married!!â
âhush.â
you smile.
chan finally pushes himself up from the stool with a groan, his little fork hole hurting. he gives minho one or those manly pats on the shoulder, good fight, no hard feelings, theyâll do it again next week. then he limps over to you, presses a soft, lingering peck to your lips. âiâm gonna go lie down before i fall over. thanks for patching us up.â
you kiss him back gently, thumb brushing his bruised cheek. âgo rest. yell if you need anything.â
chan limps off toward the bedroom, still leaning sideways. he looks horrible and also unbelievably hot. like bandages stay ON.
you lean back against the counter, listening to your leftover boys in the kitchen plan their cute little vacation. like aw. theyâre men and they want to be there with their friends and theyâll go. aww.
âhyunjin, the rabbitâs throwing the bouquet, catch it!â
âsure.â
you turn back to minho. he looks horrible. âyou gonna be fine, creepy? need anything before iââ
ây/n!!â
ây/n y/n y/n!!â
what NOW. you look over. han and felix are both half standing, leaning over the back of the couch. huge puppy eyes. hanâs waving both arms. felix is bouncing on his toes, hoodie sleeves flapping. fucking twink.
âcome sit!l
âplease please please we saved you the best spot, itâs warm!â
seungmin grunts, spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl. âlet her go.â
changbin leans over and kisses the side of your head, sweet as ever. âgo on.â
you sigh, give minhoâs cute little psycho head a pat, and head for the couch before the begging turns into actually yanking at your clothes.
you sit down between felix and hyunjin. han needs to learn that he doesnât get to have you every single time just because heâs loud and cute and dumb, even if weâre starting with small steps like this, sitting only a person away.
felixâs arm wraps around yours, fingers lacing with yours so he can hold your hand against his chest. oh he disgustingly in love, nuzzling into your shoulder, humming happily, leg thrown over your thigh.
on your other side hyunjin shifts to drape his arm along the back of the couch behind you.
han whines from the other end. âbut i wanted to sit next to her, i saved the spot with my butt warmth.â
felix giggles and nuzzles closer to your arm. âtoo slow.â
you ignore han completely and turn your head toward hyunjin. âwhatâs up? you okay?â
âmm.â he says, thumb moving to stroke your neck. heâd like that if you did that to him one day. âhow are the wounded soldiers? did you have to perform surgery with a spoon again?â
you hum and lean into his side a little. âthe usual. they behaved.â
from your right felix tugs your arm, trying to get your attention. ây/n y/n look, the dog is in court.â
you donât even glance at him. keep your eyes on hyunjin. âtell me more. how you feeling?â
hyunjinâs eyes actually sparkle a little. you caring about him drives him crazy. makes him forget all the dread that the picture of you kissing his roommate on his bed brings to him.
han leans over felixâs lap. ây/n, the cheese just exploded into glitter, look!â
felix whines and pushes hanâs head away gently with his free hand while still clinging to your arm with the other. âstop it, sheâs talking to hyunjin⊠but y/n the glitter cheese is really funny though.â
you reach over with your free hand, pat felixâs head once without breaking eye contact with hyunjin, then pull your hand away. han makes noise and flops backward, arms crossed, pouting.
han will learn eventually. or he wonât.
âyou didnât answer me earlier.â felix says, voice softer. so deep, so cute. âi asked you something.â
you watch hyunjinâs face. âthey told me about that house in the woods.â
âyeah?â he says.
you nod. âthey said itâs under innieâs name. invited me.â
felix tugs at your arm. âhey.â
han leans over again. âwhat are you talking about, what house?â
hyunjin exhales quietly through his nose. the fucking dog keeps talking on the tv. âthey would. show off a little.â
âbeen there?â
âfew times.â
âthey said itâs quiet.â
âit is.â
âand kinda hidden.â
âvery.â
his hand slides slightly, fingers on your arm.
âwhy arenât you answering?â felix says, insistent. âiâm talking to you.â
han makes another noise, frustrated. âyeah, why arenât you?â
itâs like they donât exist. itâs killing them.
hyunjin has to hold back a smirk. like a cocky smirk. this feels good after his little heartbreak. letâs not forget that these boys are pure evil, after all, them being funny and in love with you doesnât change the way they act with each other. unfair assholes.
âyou thinking of coming?â he asks you.
âmaybe. they made it sound nice.â
his gaze drops to your mouth. then back up. âit is.â
your shoulder presses a little more into his side. âyouâll come too, right?â
direct.
felix straightens a bit, eyes widening. âheyâwhatââ
han leans over him again, draping himself across felix now just to get closer to you. âwhat are you saying?â
hyunjin looks at you more⊠private. biting his lip. âif you want me there, iâll be there.â
you smile. his hand moves on your arm.
âokay, no, this isâthis is weird.â felix says. âyouâre not talking to us.â
han nods. âyouâre ignoring us, y/n why are you ignoring usââ
you turn just a bit more toward hyunjin.
his eyes donât leave yours. âgets real dark out there.â
âyou like it?â
âi do.â
âwhy?â
he tilts his head slightly, considering. âno distractions. just⊠whatâs in front of you.â
your gaze holds his. âand what would that be?â
silence.
ââŠdepends.â he says.
felix makes a frustrated sound, tugging on your arm slightly.
âhey.â han says. âhey, look at me.â
felix whines.
han is trying to catch your eye. âcan youâcan you look at me for a secondââ his postureâs off, his hands keep fidgeting, eyes flicking between your face and hyunjinâs. âdid iâdid i do something?â
you donât even glance. hyunjin bites a smile back. he pulls you closer.
han notices that. âokay, no, thatâsâheyâthatâs notââ
he reaches over felix, trying to touch your arm.
felix holds you closer to him. âno, wait, iâm holding itââ
âmoveââ
ânoââ
they start wrestling over your arm.
you do not acknowledge this. at all. hyunjin watches it happen out of the corner of his eye. takes a slow breath.
âthis is so unfair.â felix whispers loudly.
âi know.â han whispers back, equally loud. âsheâs not even looking at us.â
âi asked like three times.â
âi asked five.â
âthatâs more.â
âi know.â
they both look at you.
you continue ignoring them with impressive consistency.
han makes a small, desperate sound. âi can be quiet, i canâi wonât talk, iâll justâjustââ
felix nods. âyeah, me too. iâll be quiet.â he lasts exactly two seconds. ââŠhey.â you donât react. ââŠthis is really hard.â
âyeah.â han says miserably.
hyunjin runs his hand over your arm. he thinks youâre doing great.
they sit there. quiet. for maybe three whole seconds.
âhey!â both of them at once.
âno.â hyunjin says.
âokay.â
silence again.
âchan.â han blurts out, sudden and loud. âwhereâs chan?â
âyeah, yeah, get chan, heâll fix itââ
they both look around. for the first time in, what, an hour? two? hanâs hands flap uselessly. they both spin around, searching the room for chan.
chan is nowhere in sight.
thereâs a pause.
ââŠwait.â felix says.
hanâs pretty head snaps toward him. âwhere is he?â
felix looks around again. âhe was here. he was just here.â
hanâs breathing changes to fast. âno, no, noâhe wasâheâhe was hereâ where did he goââ
you ignoring them. talking to hyunjin. not looking at them. not answering. and now chan(who usually solves things for them) isnât even here.
nothing is making sense.
hanâs face crumples. âwhat the fuck? what the fuck is happeningââ
âi donât like this.â felix says, grabbing tighter onto your arm, yanking at it. âi donât like this at allââ
han lets out the most pathetic sob youâve ever heard and launches himself over felix and into your lap. his arms lock around your neck so tight you almost choke, face burying into your shoulder. ây/nnnnnn.â he wails, voice muffled and wet and adorable. âdonât ignore us please please weâll be good weâll eat vegetables and iâll stop humping the couch when youâre not looking i swearââ
felix throws himself half on your lap too, arms wrapping around your waist, face pressed into your neck. ây/n we love you so much it hurts when you donât look at usâmy pleaseââ hic âplease still love me!â
theyâre heartwarming. big ugly sobs, snotty and loud, bodies shaking on you.
han keeps repeating ây/nâ whining for his girlfriend while felix just sobs âweâre sorry weâre sorry weâre so sorryâ into your collarbone.
you and hyunjin lock eyes over the top of their heads.
hyunjinâs eyebrow is arched so high itâs basically touching the ceiling. he lets out the longest, most exhausted sigh youâve ever heard from him.
well. that didnât work.
âalright, alright.â you murmur. your very loving arms come up, one around hanâs back, the other sliding around felixâs waist, pulling both of them in tighter. âshhh, babies. iâm right here. i was just talking to hyunjin for a minute.â
all your they need to learn space effort? completely fucking gone. forget about it.
han is shaking, body convulsing. âi thoughtââ he starts, then stops because he doesnât even know what he thought. âyou werenâtâi didnâtâjust donât do thatââ
ây/nnnnââ felix cries. âyou werenâtâwhy werenât youââ
âdonât, donât do that.â han mumbles into your neck. âdonât ignoreâeuh.â
âiâm right here.â you coo.
âokay, okay.â felix sobs.
hyunjin is⊠weirdly turned on by this.
âdonât do that again.â han mumbles into your neck. âdonâtâdonât pretend iâm not there.â
âi wasnât pretending.â you say, squeezing felix.
ââŠyou were.â felix insists, but heâs just confused.
âi was making a point.â
ââŠi didnât get it.â
ââŠyeah.â hyunjin mutters. âwe noticed.â
you shoot him a look. he lifts his hands slightly. what? itâs true.
han pulls back to look at you, eyes big, glassy, beautiful. âwhat point?â
âthat you canât have my attention every second.â you say.
ââŠwhy not?â
genuine confusion.
felix nods. âyeah.â
âbecause iâm a person.â you say. ânot something you pass around or grab whenever you want. you boys always do this, since the very beginning i met you guys. i need some space too. i always tell you. but youâre right for crying, and iâm sorry i made you feel bad, okay? i was kind of mean, sorry.â means a lot that you teach them that apologizing is mature, that itâs fair, that they should, that recognizing your faults is the right thing to do. âjust keep my needs in mind the next time.â
they both go quiet. not because they understand, but because⊠that sounded important.
ââŠokay.â han says slowly. âbut can i still be here?â
âyes.â
he cuddles back to you.
felix relaxes too with a satisfied little exhale. âokay. thatâs fine then.â
thatâs all it took.
you lean back into hyunjin again. âtheyâll get it eventually.â
âno, they wonât. but itâs cute that you think that.â
you keep rubbing their backs, big slow strokes, pressing little kisses wherever you can reach, hanâs forehead, felixâs cheek, the top of hanâs ear when he tilts his head.
hyunjin wants to pounce on you.
eventually the sobs go off into wet sniffles and hiccups. hanâs death grip around your neck loosens. felix stops shaking and starts making those tiny contented hums he does when heâs happy again. their teary little faces slowly turn back toward the tv. theyâre adorable. (ruthless serial killers)
the cheese rocket has landed and now the rabbit is talking to some carrot.
they both go quiet after that, just watching the screen in silence. hanâs thumb rubs over your collarbone. felix nibs and drools on your shoulder but you donât mind now.
you glance at hyunjin again.
âlesson learned?â he murmurs.
âslow steps.â you whisper back, still rubbing hanâs back and felixâs hip. âtheyâll get there. eventually.â
youâre definitely sucking han off later for this pathetic little performance. but for now you just hold them.
crisis over.
lesson⊠not really learned.
but attempted.
okay not even attempted because han lets out a shaky little breath on your neck, then another, hotter one, and his arms tighten around you again, but now to hold himself up better.
ây/n, i⊠i need youâŠâ he whimpers into your neck, voice wet and needy.
lesson definitely not learned.
you close your eyes, taking a big breath, then⊠then⊠fuckâs sake heâs humping you.
âhan. baby. weâre on the couch. there are people around. public living room. not the time.â
he doesnât hear you. or he hears you and his single brain cell canât process what you just said. he nuzzles into your neck, lips on your skin, hips grinding, desperate. âiâm so hard it hurts, please, just a little⊠iâll be quick i promise iâll be so quiet.â
âhan.â you hiss, trying to push his hips back gently. ânot here. the others are right fucking here.â
âbut theyâre watching cartoons, they wonât mind, i love you so much my balls feel full and sadâŠâ
hyunjin and felix are watching with enormous eyes.
holding their fucking breath. hyunjinâs eyebrow is frozen in pure fascination, lips slightly parted. his whole body has gone still, drinking in every second of hanâs pathetic grinding and whimpering. felixâs eyes are even bigger, hungry, mouth hanging open a little as he stares at the way hanâs hips move against you.
they watch, breathing a little faster, clearly turned on by the fact that theyâre this close to something theyâre not allowed to have yet. itâs hot to them, seeing one of the âchosen fourâ get needy right in front of them, knowing they donât get to touch you like that. they donât get to fuck you, donât get to be inside you, donât get to be openly needy like this in front of everyone. but now they see it this close up. voyeuristic.
theyâre both leaning in unconsciously, eyes glued to you two. like fucking porn.
you try again, one hand pushing gently at hanâs slutty little hip. âhan. public. people. stop.â
âbut it hurts. please just touch it a little, iâll be so quick, i promise.â
he needs to be put down. euthanized. neutered. something.
itâs even deeper for the other two after those words because han is being so relatable right now. like literally yes y/n it hurts just please touch it a little. thatâs all they want too.
youâre about two seconds from dragging him off to the bedroom by his ear to chan when minho slowly limps over.
stops in front of han. says in that flat, creepy monotone: âyou want to see my cats?â
hanâs head snaps up. his eyes go wide. âall of them?â
minho nods. âyes. they missed you.â
âholy fuck yes!!â he scrambles off your lap, dick still visibly hard in his pants but suddenly irrelevant. he grabs minhoâs arm (not careful of the bandages) and starts dragging the limping murderer toward the door. âletâs go letâs go i wanna pet dori he let me hold him last timeââ
minho lets himself be pulled, but right before they disappear out the door he glances back at you. his version of i love you is saving you from situations like these. he did this for you.
you mouth a âthank youâ and he gives a tiny nod before limping after han.
âbye y/n i love you iâll be good i promise!â
the living room goes quiet except for the cartoon still playing.
felix, seeing that that situation is over, gently takes your hand. sighs. what does this angel could possibly have to sigh about. he brings two of your fingers to his mouth, innocent for a murderer, and slides them between his soft lips. oh, sweetheart. he starts sucking gently, tongue moving under your fingers.
god, heâs heartwarming(you shout his head off at least twice a week because he got blood inside the apartment again). you pump your fingers once because you know he likes it and he deserves it now, and felixâs eyes roll straight back into his head. actually moans, the sweetie. his whole body shudders.
hyunjin is going to combust just from watching. heâs genuinely starting to think about acting dumb just so that youâd give him this treatment too. like give him your fingers now.
you finally peel your eyes away from felixâs pretty little face(that does things to you, you canât deny) and glance toward the kitchen.
jeongin has lost his shirt somewhere in the last five minutes??? hello?? his back is breathtaking. broad. literal work of art covered in old scars and fresh little bruises from whatever he got into yesterday. cutie. the muscles shift and flex as he does something in the sink.
you can see the little dimples above his ass. he really is hot. annoyingly hot. unbearably hot. fucking hot. has the kind of back you want to drag your nails down just to watch him arch. fuck.
thinking all this while the official boyfriend(well, one of them) is right next to him btw. shoulder to shoulder, both of them with their backs to the living room but at least seungmin has his shirt on. youâd be lowkey worried theyâre plotting something again, but then changbin walks over to your little trio on the couch.
you want to RIP this man apart. bare chest and soft little tummy on display still, like put a baby in me. especially with the way he leans down and pats felixâs head, GENTLY.
felix makes a happy little sound around your fingers but doesnât stop sucking.
changbin looks at you. âiâm heading home soon. you wanna come with me?â his eyes go to hyunjin. âyou coming too?â
hyunjin leans his head back. âyeah. might as well.â
you smile up at changbin. âsure. sounds good. let me wrap things up here.â
felix makes a sad noise when you finally pull your fingers out of his mouth. a thin string of spit connects your fingertips to his bottom lip for a second before it breaks. he whines softly, lips chasing them for a second, disappointed.
âfelix. hey.â you say gently, cupping his face with both hands, he doesnât mind his own spit on him anyway. âiâm going out with binnie and hyune for a while, okay? you did so good at the doctorâs today. iâm really proud of you for not telling the doctors about the mailman or anything weird. you were good.â
he smiles, nuzzling into your palm. âreally?â
âreally. now go watch the rest of the cartoon. behave while iâm gone.â
he nods. âiâll be so good. iâll only eat one crayon if i get sad.â
you kiss his forehead and stand up. hyunjin gives your neck one last slow stroke before he pulls his arm back, rising with you.
you head into the kitchen for a quick glass of water. jeongin and seungmin are still at the sink, talking about something that sounds suspiciously like the best way to dissolve teeth.
âiâm heading out with bin and hyunjin for a bit.â you say, reaching past jeongin for a glass then to fill it.
seungmin nods. âdonât do anything i wouldnât do.â
âthat leaves a lot of options open.â
you step up behind him, lean in, and press a sweet kiss right to the side of his neck. was it on purpose that it was right over that sensitive spot you know drives him crazy? yeah, donât be silly.
seungmin stiffens. there we go. you love leaving him horny on purpose.
jeongin turns his head just in time to catch the end of it. then he shoves his pretty face into the side of your head, nose burying in your hair, arms trying to snake around you. âmy turn, my turnââ
you shove his face away with your palm. âdown, boy.â you bend down to put your empty glass in the dishwasher and notice both seungminâs and jeonginâs cereal bowls are already inside. well, you put jeonginâs there, but not seungminâs. âlook at you two actually putting shit away by yourself. iâm proud of you.â
seungmin turns around, sporting a half hard bulge you left him with. âit was me.â heâs so cute because like you need to know that he did it for you!!
pulled a face off in one move yesterday btw.
you give jeonginâs cheek a quick pat before heading back toward the living room. changbin got a shirt on since that(went into your room for it, the sleeping chan didnât even wake up). hyunjinâs eyes flick over to the couch where felix is watching his cartoon.
âready?â changbin asks, reaching for your hand.
you take it, lacing your fingers with his. âyeah. letâs go.â
changbin presses a soft kiss to your temple(my boy changbin getting feelings even though heâs a brutal psycho!! fuck it up changbin!! be a good boyfriend changbin!!) then the three of you leave.
god, you love how fancy their apartment is.
you love eating breakfast here. sitting at the island in one of changbinâs or hyunjinâs big shirts while one of them makes food, usually changbin, and those times hyunjin usually reads the news on his fucking ipad(this man and his fucking apple ecosystem), occasionally glancing over at you.
you love watching the city out those big windows, especially at night. you love the soft lighting in the living room that makes everyone look so hot. like why donât they throw orgies in here? (you donât know this but hyunjin once did, next day he cleaned up so good that changbin never found out)
now that weâre at this topic, you also really love fucking like animals with changbin when hyunjinâs not home. like, really, loud, sweaty, no restrictions, no rules or limitations sex on every surface. you love curling up by the windows with a mug, watching the city lights while his tongue is between your legs or while youâre just⊠sitting. could be either.
he gets loud when he cums. manly shouts that bounce off the pretty ceilings(yours has pesto stains on them from one of minhoâs and seungminâs fights). you love that he gives noises. youâve broken two chairs and one coffee table because he gets too enthusiastic and forgets what his thick thighs can do.
but right now? right now you mostly love how fucking all about you they both are.
changbin unlocks the front door with one hand, keys jingling, then steps aside and gestures for you to go first. hyunjin does the same on the other side, holding the door open.
partly because theyâre gentlemen.
partly because theyâre in love with you.
and partly because you have a great ass and they both want to watch it as you walk in.
âgo on.â changbin says, nodding inside.
âyeah.â hyunjin says. âafter you.â
you can feel their eyes on it the whole three steps it takes to walk inside.
hyunjin is fucking mad tho. mad over the fact that changbin gets to tap that. changbin gets to fuck that perfect ass whenever he wants. changbin gets to bury his face between those ass cheeks and thighs and make you scream while hyunjin is stuck in the next room.
it burns. he wants it so bad it makes his stomach twist, makes him have to throw up.
he was there before changbin even considered looking at you like that.
and if heâd just⊠if heâd just said something earlier⊠if heâd just⊠but he didnât.
and now look where that got him. fucking idiot.
changbin shuts the door behind you, kicking off his shoes. âclient today was a fucking nightmare.â he says, running a hand through his hair. âhe was calling me the whole time you were away with felix. some rich asshole who wants to âget shredded for his mistress.ââ
hyunjin heads straight for the kitchen, already reaching for a glass.
âyeah?â you ask, cutely getting your shoes off.
âyeah. iâm thinking okay, cool, leg day, cardio, whatever. then he starts asking if i can meet now. i already have told him no a hundred times at least. fucker. then told me heâll do it himself then and i tell him what to do. no.â
hyunjin snorts from the kitchen. âhate those.â
âheâs going to hurt himself.â changbin continues. âand then heâll come back acting like itâs my fault.â
âit will be your fault.â hyunjin calls out, already pouring himself a drink. âyou didnât stop him.â
âi did.â
âclearly not enough.â
changbin shoots him a look.
hyunjin just raises his glass slightly in response, completely unbothered.
âwhatâd you do?â you ask.
âtold him weâll redo everything.â he says. âproperly. slower. he hated it.â
âgood.â
âyeah.â
thereâs a pause.
âhad to deal with a buyer after that.â
ah. there it is. changbinâs little side job of selling organs.
hyunjin lets out a low whistle, taking a sip. âbad one?â
hyunjin sets the glass down, then reaches for a cigarette, tucking it between his lips. he flicks his lighter. click, flame, inhale.
there it is. drink in one hand. cigarette in the other. leaning back against the counter.
like, how?
how the fuck is he this beautiful while living like this?
you stare for too long. he notices. his gaze flicks to you, then away again. inhales. exhales.
âprice wasnât even the issue.â changbin says. âhe just wouldnât shut up.â
âshouldâve shut him up.â hyunjin mutters.
âconsidered it.â
âand?â
âwasnât worth it.â
hyunjin taps ash into a tray, looking at you looking at changbin, paying attention to changbin, not him. but at least youâre here.
heâll take it.
even if itâs not everything he wants. heâll take it.
meanwhile all thatâs in your mind is how comfy the couch looks. insert that picture where squidward looks like death and next to him spongebob is throwing his hands up smiling ear to ear. you and hyunjin fr. anyways, you do go and make yourself comfy on the couch, then pat it on either side of you. âcome here, both of you. tell me more.â
changbin drops down on your left, big arm around your shoulders. hyunjin sits on your right, long legs laid out, cigarette letting that pretty smoke come. changbin tried to get him to stop smoking at least in the apartment but i think we see it didnât do much.
changbin is still irritated but relaxed now that heâs home, that heâs with you. âguy kept calling his biceps the guns. i wanted to tell him the only gun was the one i had in my back pocket.â now that he said that, he begins to wonder where did it go. it sure got out his pocket at your place, must be there somewhere if nobody took it.
hyunjin hums. flicks ash into a fancy crystal tray. tf. âclients get stupider every week. last week some guy asked me if i could âsourceâ a liver that still had the gallbladder attached because âit adds flavor.ââ he takes another drag, exhales âi charged him extra.â
changbin groans and squeezes your shoulder. âat least your idiots pay in cash sometimes. mine keep trying to pay in bitcoin. like fuck your mom.â
you donât know if you should be turned on or deeply concerned and upset about what youâre hearing. both work.
changbinâs phone starts buzzing in his pocket.
he gets it out. looks at the screen and sighs. âitâs minho.â he picks up. âyeah? whatâs up?â
you and hyunjin go quiet, watching binâs face. it stays neutral for the first ten seconds. then his pretty jaw moves. then the vein on his forehead starts popping. another vein bulges in his huge left bicep. the big arm around your shoulders slowly turns hard. just again, turned on or, well, terrified is the other option in this scenario, you donât know what you should be.
he listens for another thirty seconds, says âmmâ twice, then hangs up. without saying goodbye, by the way. the phone gets placed down with way too much care. looks like if he slams it heâll break the entire table.
he stares straight ahead at the window for a long time.
âhan and jeongin fucked up. bad.â
you and hyunjin look at each other. you both can tell the two arenât in danger or with police, changbin would be out the door already if that was the case, so youâre not worried.
changbin, though.
âthey picked up some guy from the bar. everything was going fine until they cut off the guyâs fingers, all ten of them, and told him if he could juggle them for thirty seconds without dropping any, theyâd let him go. minho said the guy was screaming, blood everywhere, fingers all around the place.â his hands flex on his (thick)thighs. the veins in his forearms are now basically fucking his skin. âthey found it funny. apparently, they were laughing so hard they didnât notice the guyâs girlfriend had followed him from the bar and tried to record. they almost got caught on camera. minho had to go clean it up, drag the girlfriend inside, and deal with the mess.â
so thatâs what the case is. an almost caught. he gets angry at those.
the psycho part of changbin doesnât come out in the way he acts, like minho having defects with communication, for an example. seungmin also has a hard time communicating sometimes but heâs significantly better. anyways, changbinâs defect doesnât work socially.
what his main problem is, is dealing with anger.
this is why he killed for the first time, we already know that. it was pure, blinding anger. he canât process it. never could. it doesnât leak out in mean little comments or creepy staring like the rest of the boys. changbin explodes.
therapy? useless. talking? makes it worse. even fucking it out doesnât work, so you donât even come in handy now. plus getting his dick hard is difficult when heâs having one of these anger meltdowns. nothing helps. he just has to deal with it until itâs gone.
he stands up slowly. âi canât deal with this shit.â
youâre mortified by what you just heard about what the two boys did but youâre also lowkey excited to see what heâll do now. like thatâs your boyfriend, go boyfriend, crash out!!
âthose fucking idiots.â he says, voice shaking. âi told them. i fucking told them to keep it clean. but nooo, han has to turn every kill into a fucking childrenâs birthday party and jeongin just has to let him do it.â
âhyunjin. we are SO fucked.â you whisper.
something flies past your heads.
(not aimed at you, never at you, changbin would rather saw his own arms off)
hyunjin takes a slow drag from his cigarette. âmyeah.â
you both get behind the couch. it looks stupidly cute from the outside, you two not visible but his smoke coming out anyway.
changbin flips the coffee table with one hand. it crashes into the wall. âi do everything right! i train those stupid clients, i move the organs, i keep the bodies from piling up in the fucking hallway, and these two dipshits treat it like a fucking joke!â
a lamp flies past. then the remote. then one of hyunjinâs fancy poetry books (hyunjin winces).
you peek out to take a look at your boyfriend now throw a little vase hyunjin purely keeps on the (now flipped over)coffee table for decoration. you turn back quickly and look at hyunjin with big eyes.
and he exhales a smoke ring???
âare they fucking five!? i told them, i fucking told them, keep it simple! strangle and dump! but nooo, they gotta make it into amateur porn! âfunnyâ my ass! iâm gonna shove my foot so far up hanâs dumb fucking colon heâll taste my toes for a week!â
another object flies, this time itâs the heavy crystal ashtray hyunjin was just using.
âiâm gonna skin jeongin alive and turn his little face into a fucking puppet. iâm gonna make han eat every single finger he juggled. raw.â
he grabs the expensive leather ottoman and throws it into the kitchen. wow.
hyunjin calmly takes another drag of his cigarette.
âbinnie, babyââ you start.
âand the woooooorst part?! theyâve did this hundreds of times already! and they never.â he claps his hands. âfucking.â clap. âlearn!â clap clap clap clap. âiâm gonna shove both their heads up each otherâs asses andââ
another object flies. it bounces off the wall and lands in the potted plant hyunjin mothers so hard. he actually puts his hand out towards it but pulls it back into his lap almost immediately.
he sheds a tear for his beloved plant then moves on. âthis is your boyfriend.â he whispers, tapping ash into an empty glass he grabbed on the way down. âromantic.â
âshut up. youâre hard, arenât you?â
âpainfully.â
crash.
silence.
changbin finally stops, chest heaving, standing in the middle of everything. he looks around at the mess, then at the couch youâre both hiding behind.
ââŠsorry.â he mutters. âdidnât mean to scare you.â
you peek over the couch, smiling. âyou didnât scare me.â
hyunjin takes one last drag, flicks the cigarette butt into the glass, and stands up. âiâll order new furniture. again.â
he was two seconds away from leaning in and stealing a first kiss while changbin was distracted. his lips were already tingling with the possibility. but changbin came down from the rage too fast. damn it.
changbin rubs the back of his neck. âiâll pay for it.â
you crawl out from behind the couch, smiling ear to ear and stepping over the shit he destroyed, and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. âyouâre okay.â
he leans back into you. in the smallest, saddest voice youâve ever heard from him âthey juggled fingers, baby.â like aw okay binnie :(
hyunjin watches the two of you. jealous. fuck. he needs another drink. what happened to his earlier one anyway? oh, itâs pouring down the wall right there. okay.
yeah, shit like this happens all the time.
like seungminâs mean little bitchass gets set off and suddenly itâs world war iii. (yeah heâs the worst, just blows up over anything small) last month jeongin ate a little yoghurt (the one seungmin had been thinking about all day) and seungmin tied him to a dining chair with duct tape and zip ties, then spent forty five minutes beating the absolute shit out of him with a bag of frozen chicken breasts.
chicken breasts everywhere. raw meat juice all over the floor. when seungmin finally calmed down he just cut jeongin loose, patted his bloody cheek, then crawled into your bed at 3am and cuddled up to you.
han once got mad at felix for eating the last of his crayons (the blue ones taste best, apparently, han just uses them to draw). han started screaming at the top of his lungs, stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a plate, and smashed it directly onto his own forehead. the plate shattered. his eyes rolled back and he dropped, out cold for six minutes. you had to ice his forehead.
once minho wordlessly took one of chanâs knives and left it covered in some random guyâs spinal fluid. chan found it, then destroyed every single plate in minhoâs kitchen by throwing them one by one into the bathtub. when he was done he sat on the edge of the tub, covered in shards, and whispered âi need a minute.â he let you patch up his cut hands.
chan is fucking HILARIOUS in general. like another one was when he smashed a blender in one hand because jeongin pissed him off.
now that weâre at jeongin, oh heâs the hot babe ever(deserves death), you left him on seen once and he spent three hours shouting at hyunjin at the top of his lungs while carving lines into his own thigh with a razor. then crawled to your door at 2am covered in blood, begging you to kiss it better.
yeah heâs really⊠unstable.
not as unstable as hyunjin tho. last time he got jealous of changbin he disappeared for six hours and came back with someone elseâs tongue in a jar as a gift. you made him throw it away but let him cuddle you while he read you something. he wants so badly to be allowed.
minho is⊠fucking terrifying. once chan accidentally sat in minhoâs favorite staring at y/n spot. minho killed ten people that day.
felix doesnât get mad lots. or angry. or any of those. he once got mad because you called han baby and not him. he disappeared for three hours and came back dragging a whole ass traffic cone he stole. he tried to eat it.
and we already saw today what happens to changbin. like he does this. once jeongin made a your mom joke and changbin flipped the entire couch, punched a hole through the wall, then spent twenty minutes doing pushups.
they are genuinely horrible at dealing with feelings. well, who can blame them, this is their first time experiencing them, but still, this canNOT be good for you. your mental health. your pussy, sure, the boyfriends do fuck it out sometimes, but letâs be real, itâs extremely unhealthy that you have to deal with these fuckers all day long.
but you like it. so, it is what it is. youâre fine.
you have fun with them. that fun can mean going out with hyunjin for coffee or yanking felix off the couch by both hands on his hips because he keeps humping it, but you really did grow attached to these boys. who cares that they tried to kill you.
that fun can also mean just hanging out with the boyfriends. little dates. seungmin once dragged you to a hardware store just so he could âlook at knives and feel better.â you ended up making out in the aisle between the chainsaws. han likes when you let him eat you out. LET him. he has to beg. chan just wants to lie on your chest and have you play with his curls. changbin just needs to touch you to have fun, that can mean his toe in your ear, even. just please omg he has to touch y/n.
lol. men are so fucking adorable you might actually have to smash a plate on your own head too at this point.
like wdym these eight brutal psychos have little feelings??? wdym they get genuinely upset and their little hormones work and testosterone works and it comes from their balls?? AWWW MENâS BALLS!!! balls gotta be the cutest fucking thing on earth istg. theyâre so vulnerable!! they protect them!! they cup them when theyâre scared!! the others kick them during fights and they curl up and it HURTS them!! sensitive little guys just hanging out between their legs, trying their best, getting cold and going up inside then dropping back down!!! hello to you too balls!! but they also make cum and babies and rage and horniness and all the stupid boy things and theyâre just. down there. existing. between their stupid little legs. swinging. awww.
what do you meeeeaaaann all eight of your psychos have their own pair!!! men are SO cute.
you had to literally bite your fist the other day when hyunjin was manspreading on the couch and you remembered thereâs a whole sensitive little sack there, vulnerable and warm and full of his lowk suicidal sperm. aww.
iâm crine the FUCK is your problem y/nđđđ
seungmin has straight up slapped your hand away in public before when you tried to sneak a feel. didnât even look at you. just smack on your wrist, then kept talking to the cashier like nothing happened while you stood there grinning.
you MIGHT have gotten soft on these psychos.
youâre a freak.
but tbh each of the four youâre actually dating needs exactly you. exactly your sex drive. exactly the way you are.
cute. so fucking cute. men are awesome.
sometimes when chan is just sitting on the couch minding his own business, biiiig thighs spread, youâll casually reach over and grope him through his pants. youâre brutal. palm covering his soft cock and balls, squeezing around.
he just sits there. letting you play w the jewels. sometimes heâll keep watching whatever heâs watching, sometimes heâll look over at you(calm, MANLY) murmur a âhaving fun, baby?â
you love how he feels. that he has those there. love how he trusts you completely with the most sensitive part of him.
when you get a little too enthusiastic and squeeze too hard he just jerks his hips away once and says âowâ. then you lean in and kiss his cheek as a little apology.
he accepts it. patting your head. he loves it. truly thinks he found a once in a lifetime gem with you.
god youâre so down bad.
you feel lucky too. unbelievably. what do you mean you have these psychos at your feet.
kinda⊠literally at your feet.
what we mean here, is once han is being annoying again, all around you. he keeps bumping into you, pushing you, giggling around, trying to âhelpâ you reach the top shelf even though heâs only about two inches taller and mostly useless.
ây/n youâre so short itâs cute, wait no, iâm short too, weâre both short, thatâs why we fit so good when iâm inside you!!â
you spin around and slap him lightly across the face. not hard. itâs genuinely just playful. doesnât even hurt.
his eyes cross instantly. his mouth drops open, body jerking. he squeaks a âhnn?â
his knees buckle. he drops to the floor, landing on his ass with a pathetic little whimper. one hand flies between his legs, cupping his dick through his pants as his stomach and crotch and abdomen muscles flex.
his face has pure confusion. bliss. eyebrows furrowed, eyes crossed, mouth open.
he came so hard.
âwhaâ whaaat?â he whines, voice high. his hips twitch up into his own hand as ropes of cum flood his pants. he has tears pricking his eyes from how hard he came and how sudden and so not ready to. his hand is squeezing his twitching cock. that just came while soft. from a slap.
heâs never looked more pathetic or more adorable in his entire stupid life.
you stare down at him. âhan. baby. i barely touched you.â
âi knowwww. i think i need new pants, maâmaybe new baaaaalls. y/n, can you slap me again but harder this time?â
you end up crouched in front of him, cradling his dumb flushed face while he keeps making little hiccupps, still gently palming his spent cock. he leans into your touch, nuzzling. dumbest fuck on earth. youâd keep him in a jar if you could.
now that weâre at a sexual topic, it deserves some recognition that seungmin is⊠surprisingly pathetic in bed. he talks a big game but the second heâs inside you he gets just⊠whiny. a lil flower, basically. âfuckâ youâre so tight, gonna make me cum too fast again, shitââ he tries to stay confident and a mean cunt but ends up whimpering into your mouth, hips stuttering, begging you not to clench because heâs embarrassingly close. the dream boyfriend.
and about changbin, so we include all the four, he has stamina. like stamina. that man can fuck you for hours. (can, not always will. itâs only realistic that you tap out after about two rounds if not one.) then heâll kiss every tear off your face and ask if you want another round âjust to be sure youâre satisfied, baby :)â. insane. built different. (built himself to be different, he didnât get those muscles and fat out of nowhere. he worked for this, letâs appreciate that)
anyways,
you watch them play sometimes from the safety of the couch(and by play you mean fists, wrestling, knives, guns), chin in your hands.
morons with weapons.
like minho has jeongin in a headlock on the living room floor. the others are doing their own shit around, theyâre fine with anything as long as they can breathe your air in.
you watch them. they be rolling around on the floor trying to choke each other out and the second one of them senses danger near the crotch region their hips do that instinctive little squirm/twist away. protecting the goods. always protecting the goods. hips do that instinctive little tuck. ass clenching, balls drawing up, hiding. itâs so automatic. so fucking adorable.
the attackers are absolutely going for the sack on purpose because they know it would hurt them too.
men are sweet.
âquit guarding your little grapes, you pussy.â minho snarls, trying to knee jeongin in the balls while jeongin twists.
âmy grapes are precious, you cum garglingâ OW FUCKââ
felix once bit chanâs thigh so close to the balls that chan yelped. like imagine that scary ass psycho yelping. because he doesnât usually yelp.
han knees seungmin in the nuts while giggling while playing tag. hyunjin will grab a handful of minhoâs package mid grapple just to hear that cold motherfucker make a high pitched noise. changbin can always end a fight with shouldering into someoneâs crotch.
canât stress it enough, men are unique and funny and cute.
you were made for men.
not just any men, these men.
and oh, the way they come back to you. each get their little asses beaten by each other or get angry and destroy everything or get confused about their huge feelings for you, but since they know youâre safe, youâre y/n, they immediately come to you.
letâs start with chanâs baby ass(should fucking behead him) heâll limp to you with fresh bruises, split lip, whatnot, and just collapse onto the bed or couch of yours. he just wants you close.
he lets you baby him then. enjoys it, wants it.
letâs go age order now, mkay? minho shows up covered in blood, silent, and just stares at you with those dead eyes until you open your arms. crawls into them. wraps himself around you in the weirdest positions, face buried somewhere on your body (neck, stomach, between your tits, wherever), and just breathe you in. for hours. that, calms him down.
changbin is the usual when he crashes down from their boy fights. after one of his big meltdowns he gets so guilty itâs painful. you canât tell him enough times that itâs okay that he acts like this when heâs angry. heâs just a man. anyways, heâll find you immediately, wrap those huuuuuge arms around you, and hang on you while you do whatever. he needs the reassurance that you still love him.
hyunjin will rest his head on your thigh while you play with his hair. he needs you. needs to find you. he yaps about how the world is empty and meaningless except for you. the FUCK is his problem. he needs your attention more than anything else. first boy or whatever.
han is⊠fuck, you already know, a dumb little bitch. like he got mad and did something stupid again. heâll launch himself at you full force, wrapping around you, talking into your chest. same boy that tried to kill you once.
felix⊠aww. he comes back to you literally whimpering, covered in blood and whatever he was eating, and immediately tries to climb into your lap. baby, no, shower. after that, heâll nuzzle into you and sometimes ask if you still love him. (he wouldnât by himself, but he saw it on tiktok. also asks if youâd love him if he was a worm)
seungmin is a tsundere little bitch about it. done with his little blow up? start looking for you. crawling back to you. stomps around(with the exact movement a horse would) while hugging your arm only. grown ass man btw. you have to coax him into letting you clean him up. heâll grumble the whole time (âi donât need this shitâ) but the second you kiss the bridge of his nose he goes boneless.
jeongin is such a personality. didnât we already talk about him screaming into his pillow about you? well he acts like that didnât happen, just finds you after to get relief, kneels on the floor, clings to your lap, sighing loudly, telling you in great detail how everyone is against him and how he suffered. you have to play along and kiss his âwoundsâ (even the fake ones) while he preens under the attention.
slut.
i mean him, not you.
never you.
thatâs because they trust you this much. theyâre also so fucking comfortable with you itâs actually insane.
and they expect you to be just as unbothered as they are.
example, youâre in your bathroom, brushing your teeth. the door opens(not a single knock knocked) and minho walks in without a word. steps up to the toilet, unzips, pulls his dick out, starts peeing. he doesnât even look at you just stares at the wall. shakes off then tucks himself away. washes his hands and leaves. no big deal to him. meanwhile youâre standing there with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth bc like ???
han will barge into the bathroom while youâre on the toilet just to show you something on his phone. heâll stand there holding the screen in front of your face.
âhan i am peeing give me two secondsâ
âwhy?â
the other rock brained is felix. the empty headed little cannibal has walked in on you showering multiple times. youâve had to start locking the door(though we already talked about them just fucking picking the lock then), and every single time he stands outside whimpering. (doesnât remember he can literally pick locks)
you try to change shirts and jeongin walks in mid titty out. âoh donât mind me, keep going.â you tell him to get out and he looks heartbroken. âbut iâve seen them before. why are we regressing as a society?â
changbin is horrible. fucking hell you think about him and have to hold your head in your hands. heâll walk in while youâre changing pads and starts running his finger through your hair. âyou cramping bad today, baby? want me to rub your tummy?â fucking horrible.
hyunjin sometimes sits on the edge of the bathtub while youâre soaking and read you something he wrote, completely ignoring the fact that youâre literally naked in the water. and if you dare tell him you need five minutes alone heâll sit outside the door and monologue sadly about âthe cruel walls you build between usâ until you let him in.
seungmin will stand outside muttering âthe fuck is the point of being together if i canât even watch you wash your ass?â like y/n this is human rights violation. let him IN.
minho just⊠appears. youâll be changing and suddenly heâs in the corner staring. no words. you undress to take a shower, turn to the shower, heâs standing inside. at the end of the day you get into bed, pull the covers down and heâs UNDER THEM.
how did he not kill you then if heâs THIS good?
felix, as we know, has zero concept of personal space or gendered boundaries. heâll try to go into the shower with you âto help wash your back.â heâll stick his cold hands up your shirt in the middle of the kitchen because âyour tummy is warm and mine is cold.â when you tell him no he gets this heartbreakingly confused look. âbut you let changbin do it, why not me? i love you too?â
chan is at least dada about it. heâll come out of the shower with just a towel around his shoulders, everything else hanging out, and start making coffee like that. like okay wet daddy put that weapon away. and he tells you âwhatâs mine is yours, baby.â okay i take it back.
you whine one day that your boobs hurt, maybe pms, maybe han was too enthusiastic the night before, whatever, and chan reaches over, hooks two fingers in the collar of your shirt, and tugs it down.
just pulls your tits out into the open air.
he stares, few fingers poking at them, then tucks them back in and gives you a little forehead kiss. âthey look fine.â
but when felix does the exact same thing two days later, itâs different!!
youâre on the couch complaining that your chest is sore and felix, who is very much not your boyfriend, is like âoh no!! let me see!!â and reaches over to yank your shirt down. full tits out in the living room while jeongin and minho are playing cards on the coffee table. you have to slap his hands away and pull your shirt back up while he looks⊠so lost. he genuinely doesnât get why thatâs crossing a line. to him, your body is community property because he loves you so much and he shares everything with the other seven boys.
theyâve seen you naked, fucked you (some of them), bled on you, cried on you, so why does the bathroom door need to be closed? why canât they just walk in while youâre peeing? why canât felix crawl into bed with you and han?
you close the bathroom door. han: âbut why?? youâve seen me naked before!! iâve seen you bleed from the pussy!! why canât i watch you pee???â
minho gave you the saddest stare when you told him you didnât want company while you were changing a tampon.
and youâve seen every inch of them (and theyâve seen plenty of you) so why the fuck would they hide anything?
because these boys are so comfortable with you.
take hyunjin, for example. you go over to their place one afternoon because he said he wants to show you this new painting heâs been working on. he leads you into his room, closes the door, and immediately starts stripping. shirt off. pants off. underwear too. your heart stops. his dick swings free for a second, soft, while he casually steps into clean boxers like. youâre not even there. your heart starts beating again.
he pulls his sweatpants up, grabs the painting, and turns around. âso what do you think?â
seungmin will casually scratch his balls while talking to you. full hand down the front of his pants, digging around, rearranging while he tells you about the guy he stabbed earlier.
you make a face.
he raises an eyebrow. âwhat? they itch.â
even better when he walks into your room completely naked, dick swinging, just out of your shower, and lies face down onto your bed. starfish. heâll throw a leg over you and go straight to sleep while youâre trying to watch a show. if you complain he just âyouâve had it in your mouth, donât act shy now.â
jeongin is tiring. you actually have to cry laugh. heâll come up behind you while youâre cooking, press his morning wood against your ass(youâre fine with him doing this, he wouldnât do it if it made the love of his life uncomfortable), and talks to you. âso then i was strangling the guy and his head turned purple andâ waaaaaait, youâre not wearing panties under this? slut.â
âbecause i thought i was spending the night with changbin. where is he?!â
sometimes they?? switch?? places?? randomly??? like genuinely hyunjin walks into your bathroom and minho comes out. and hyunjin is nowhere. and there is no possible exit he could have gotten out on. or you send chan to the shop to get you something and felix comes home with it. then you think youâre talking to felix and when you turn around itâs hyunjin answering, two completely different voices mind you. youâre always so confused.
they genuinely donât get it when you try to enforce boundaries. youâre their safe person. their person. so why would they hide basic bodily functions from you? it doesnât compute in their boy brains.
underneath all the boundary issues is the fact that they trust you completely. thatâs sweet though. they feel safe with you in ways theyâve never felt safe with anyone, only the others, but youâre different. so they offer you every part of themselves, the gross, the vulnerable, the naked, the soft dick, post shower, morning wood, post fight, post rage, post cry parts, without hesitation.
they all know, on some level, that women are more physically fragile. no sexism here, this is biology, though some of them know of it in the sexist way, some the biological. men and women are built different. standard knowledge. theyâve killed enough of both to notice the physical differences. they know your body is softer in places, more sensitive, bleeds differently, gets sore easier, boobs arenât the same as pecs. they know you canât just punch you in the arm like they punch each other. but the social boundary thing? the âthis is my body and sometimes i want it to be private even from people i loveâ thing? canât get it at all.
jeongin, hyunjin, changbin, and chan(chan respects you as his girl) are the ones who at least register the differences. they know boobs arenât just funny squishy chest lumps like their own. they know periods suck and make you more fragile. they understand that randomly grabbing your ass in public might get them slapped while they can slap each otherâs asses during fights and itâs just bro shit. they know girls need a little more⊠finesse. socially. emotionally. physically.
the others though, their brains simply do not⊠do not most of the time. they could understand if they tried, really could, but they simply donât use those brain cells. well, the sunshine twins donât, and minho and seungmin just donât want to.
so you scold. they listen. sort of. for about three days. then han is back to trying to hold your tit in the middle of clothes shopping and felix is asking if he can sniff your armpit.
before you, there was nothing. we know that. now itâs just a big wobbly thing inside of them. love? terrifying. jealousy? torture. longing? makes them want to chew their own hands off.
their little hearts are really fragile right now.
and they relieve that by being quite the opposite on the outside. by murdering just as brutal as they used to. (crazy, the fact that they enjoy doing that)
chan has this weird little system that turns the feelings, the itch to kill inward first, then lets it go(aka murdering) when itâs a little more upset at him. bout to blow. heâll go out, find someone who reminds him of his own insecurity, usually slowly, calmly choke them out while staring into their eyes. almost heâs having a conversation with himself. last time he came back with someoneâs tongue in his pocket. forgot to take it out and you did when you were washing those jeans. you cried. he felt horrible.
feeling sad is also a new feeling. itâs heartbreaking. they actually feel bad for normal people because oh they had to live with this through their entire lives? but they mostly feel bad for you, because you also did. and youâre above everyone.
back to chan, he ends up lying down with you usually, needing you to give him any type of physical touch. but when he gets it heâs fine. (if we ignore his feelings fucking messing his system up)
about minho, when the feelings get too messy he goes out and does his cute little horror shit (keeping people alive for days, removing things slowly, enjoying their screams. he once kept a guy alive for twelve hours just so he could ask him philosophical questions about love while cutting out his liver piece by piece. then he came home, crawled into your arms, and stared at you for hours. you donât even mind anymore. he your lil creep.)
changbin is unstable, just not (usually) in front of you. he caught someone looking at you wrong once and spent the next four hours breaking every single bone in the guyâs body. then came home, clung to you.
hyunjin suffers beautifully. little bitch always does. heâll write twenty pages of the most heartbreaking shit about unrequited love, then go out and slowly take someone apart. he takes his time. makes it artistic. removes organs one by one while talking about the void you left in his chest(insert that talking to wall gif). babe(fucker) just needs you to let him rest his head on your chest.
han is dumb but evil. they all are, letâs not forget that. his brain canât handle the new emotions so he always does shit with no clear purpose. last week he got jealous of chan taking you out and went on a rampage. caught some poor jogger, beat him unconscious, then tried to share the body with felix by playing tug with the intestines??? he came back covered in blood, tackled you onto the couch(you threw up). feelings are hard.
felixâs empty little brain wasnât built for this much emotion. when it hits him he gets confused and restless and jealous(worse now that he knows what that is) and freaks out.
last week he got sad because you patted hanâs head and he literally jumped at a random pedestrian in broad daylight, sank his teeth into the guyâs neck, and started eating him alive. blood everywhere. still managed to not get caught. tf. came home with blood in his hair and on his face and immediately pouted and crossed his little legs when you scolded him.
seungmin takes his emotional instability out on whoeverâs unlucky enough to cross his path. the other day he was pissed because you smiled at changbin when you should have been making seungmin an omelette!! (still got it tf he pissed off about) he went out and found some random dude, tied him to a chair, and spent two hours explaining in great detail why the guyâs existence offended him while slowly peeling the skin off his arms like orange peels. slow. talking the whole time. âshe smiled at him. smiled. you ever smile at someone that pretty? no? then shut the fuck up.â when the guy passed out from pain seungmin just slapped him awake and kept going???
he came home with blood in his hair and crawled straight into your lap. was relieved that you couldnât see the blood in his dark hair but then you smelled it. he got outside time.
jeongin will have a childish breakdown. usually midkill, his lil(huge) ass sobbing about how you donât love him enough while carving hearts into some girlâs chest. âdo you feel this? this is what my heart feels like!!â he once begged you to tell him heâs pretty. itâs actually heartbreaking how undeveloped he is, weâll talk about it more later.
theyâre all so fragile now.
the new emotions are eating them alive from the inside.
they donât know how to process love or jealousy or fear of abandonment. they donât know anything, and especially not how to express it. theyâre actually in a terrifying situation. especially for men.
hands constantly shaking. all eightâs.
but no matter how bad it gets, no matter how brutally they take it out on the world, they always come back to you.
ok i know it's so silly but i really like the idea of fang awakening vampires turning into bats đ€§đ€§đ€§ i'm sorry it's so cute plz someone ride with me on this
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