Hi

Human equivalent of a participation award

[bunney]

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

[blonded004]

[kyliesparks27-deactivated201810]

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

[imericschneider]

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

[stevetomjohn]

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

[characterlimit]

[proletarianprincess]

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

[carpegin]

“47 month old”

[dragongirltitties]

this is my four year old rayman origins

[jennytrout]

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

[rustydanger]

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

[amari-skies-deactivated20190610]

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

[mudskipmcqueen]

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

[suicunesrider]

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

[allmenarerapists]

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

[the-epitome-of-sophistication-d]

This shit is hilarious

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

@kaiiwooo

[kaiiwooo-deactivated20180323]

I can’t

[onlyblackgirl]

47 month old.

[bando--grand-scamyon]

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

[i-sucked-dick-on-accident-deact]

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

[xoverlyxclusivex]

47 month old.

[crimeshetyped]

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

[mesaymeep]

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

[bird-mom]

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

[yourlocalsadbean-deactivated201]

47 month old

[nugret]

47 month old

[technicolortessi]

Damn suburban moms love to put unnecessary “Y’s” in names.

[anthony-carmelo-deactivated2017]

<b>47 month old<b/>

[validuskong-deactivated20170416]

47 month old.

[fishy]

Somebody named their kid Pocket?!?!???

[bbcwhereareyou]

I am cry wheeze laughing at this post, and then when I got to the bottom I had apparently already hearted it at some point in its life?

Anyway, bless little Christopher’s parents. My god.

[tsg2k15]

47 month old tho

[unfriendly-black-redhead]

One of the classes I subbed in had a kid named Glarison. I’m sorry, did you misspell Garrison?????

[ladyfabulous]

OMG IT IS BACK! I CAN FINALLY POST THE ASK I GOT ABPUT THIS!

[slytherenne]

[amusewithaview]

I went to college and took religious studies courses with a girl named Storm Pagan. She never understood why I found that both funny and oddly appropriate, and I never felt like taking the time to explain.

[aniseandspearmint]

for the love of your future children, look up what a name means in all languages before you saddle you kid with it until they’re old enough to legally change it.

I took latin in middle school. I don’t actually remember much now, but i’m telling you, it was IMPOSSIBLE to look this girl I knew in passing in the eye because her name was Latrina. 

Latrina.

(For those of you who have no idea why this is unfortunate and hilarious, ‘latrina’ is one of the latin words for toilet)

[lightningparadox]

What the fuck that even sounds like ‘Latrine’ like who looked at that name and went ‘what could possibly go wrong’

[lawful-evil-novelist]

Ok on the Oin one, if you really wanna give your kid a unique name than no one can pronounce, just use the fucking gaelic spelling, which, granter, IS  Eóghan, but listen, it’s better than 95% of these names.

[bifacts]

Dating Tips for Bi people #1

Next time you go on a first date, it’s important to remember to bring receipts detailing every person you’ve dated or slept with. For convenience sake, just bring a logbook, preferably colour coded by gender and in chronological order. That way, when your date ever so politely ask questions like “so have you slept with more guys or girls?”  or “but how many women have you actually dated” you have it all right there! This process may sounds tedious but really, letting your date decide whether or not you’re bi just got so easy! And c’mon, who doesn’t want meticulously go over there sexual and romantic history with someone who is practically a stranger. With any luck you’ll get a not guilty verdict they’ll believe you when you say you’re bi. :) 

[scrumptiousangst]

It takes more prep work, but a super effective method is a quick power point presentstion. Your date will appreciate your thoroughness and the whole restaurant can weigh in on if you are Sufficiently Bi.

[liberalsarecool]

2018 goals.

[tumblingxxx]

How about we elect LIBERAL Democrats. No blue dogs. No centrists. No corporatists with a “D” after their names. No compromises. No surrender. No quarter given…

[dinosaurpubes]

[inkrton]

he cannot die. Unstoppable

[brondeef]

Bad dog. Out you go

[tsukuyomishirabes]

The Dog Will Stay

[tokenduelist-chillzone]

Too bad.

[xlugger]

the dog stays

[tokenduelist-chillzone]

WRONG

Trap Master can only be flipped during your turn or by the effect of another card. Since no card has been activated to trigger such an effect, Trap Master cannot be activated in response to Trap Stun.

THE DOG GOES.

[superflyingthing]

The effect of Prediction Princess Tarotrei can flip trap monster face up on the opponents turn. 

THE DOG STAYS

[lawd-what-a-booty]

Once we send that Prediction Princess Tarotrei to the graveyard, our trap sealing will stick around.

The dog goes. 

[legionoftuna]

Ritual Sealing does not negate, only destroy. Prediction Princess Tarotrei is destroyed, but its effect is still carried out.

THE DOG. STAYS.

[xxxtictacion]

I’m watching an online yu gi oh battle

[swordofevilsban]

THE DOG GOES

[duskanaragemother]

THE DOG STAYS

[pixelsnotdreams-deactivated2019]

^ this entire thread in a nutshell.

[dryeguy]

THE DOG IS MINE.

[65-percent-puns]

[rotfae]

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

[kermiehere]

Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry

[odin-n-out]

honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes

[cliffracer]

the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over

[rhv]

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

[simaraknows]

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

[danray002-deactivated20241205]

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

[lapisbitch]

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

[sirl33te]

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

[verysadskeleton]

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

[stitch-n-time]

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

[kanthia]

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

[spockyykins]

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

[obaewankenope]

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

[nat-20s]

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

[aphony-cree]

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

[naphula]

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

[givemeunicorns]

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

[queerstorian]

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

[afewreelthoughts]

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

[justhurtingalot]

Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings

[christichris]

This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where???? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”

[hobwithluv]

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

[brainstatic]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[stoned-dahmer-deactivated201802]

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

[a-really-bad-decision]

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

[agoodflyting]

I’m up for the challenge.

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

Bear in mind that when we were planning her funeral (yes we planned her funeral before she died) a comedian said “Her funeral will cost £3 million. For £3 million we could give everybody in Scotland a shovel and dig a hole to hell and hand-deliver her to Satan personally”

you gotta top THAT

[ginevramanekineko]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(photo by fistfullofcookies)

Why do parents always assume their kid is lazy when they get bad grades? Like maybe help your kids by talking to them, not punishing them. This is how I failed math and didn’t even know I had number dyslexia for years.

[thesecretkeith]

When my sister was in high school she struggled a LOT with math. Like I know a lot of people find it really difficult (myself included), but I mean she was really really bad at it. She has always been a very smart, creative and sensitive person, but math made no sense to her, to the point where passing seemed impossible.

I will always remember that twice a week, around the kitchen table, my sister would sit down with my dad for hours, and they would try to work out her math homework. I should mention that my dad is an artist, and art teacher. Truth be told I think he struggled with math just as much if not more then she did. But twice a week you could hear them downstairs, going back and forth, trying to figure it out together. Some nights would be smooth and easy, some nights I could hear them arguing from one floor up about factors or equations, not in anger but in mutual frustration.

I remember the day that she passed. My sister couldn’t wait until my dad’s school day ended, so she called him at work. She gleefully announced to him “I got a D-!”. We could hear him through the phone as he exclaimed “She got a D!” excitedly to his class. Still through the phone we heard his students clapping, laughing and whooping in congratulations. Seldom has a grade in our household been so celebrated.

Just thought a shitty picture like this should be accompanied by a story about a person’s parents who actually gave a shit about helping their kid instead of mocking and punishing them.

[justsomeonereloadable]

Read the story

[duckduckbooks]

*crawls into your lap* *grabs our face with both of my hands* *whispers* buy me books for my birthday

[pammiejr]

[collegiate-confession]

oh my god

[atlasonstandby]

@141-point-12

happy early birthday

[diary-of-a-chinese-kid]

We all had that awful mushroom haircut at some point or another

[deyamuniz]

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