KampSin

[kampsin]

"It'll End In Tears"

/There’s nothing left in this place But a reason to leave./

Everything looks different now, Your chapped lips, your formless hips Now silky and downy standing at the other side. What was once future mere presents ago Now past, most unavoidable at last. I could feel it coming ever sins But I could never be ready to say goodbye. A couple weeks spent in casual disconnect And then a few more in helpless pleading It was already too late before we began. My ears ringing with your words now bleeding Drowning out what was and is our song. Imogen, our first dance as a married couERROR---Skip-pping, re-remixxxing. soHMHthimG’s wr0nD15c in damage5, ESKratchedERROR---Skip-pping, re-remixxxing soHMHthimG’s wr0nD15c in damage5, ESKratched-pay-able 0r0r nonreadfundpay-able 0r0r nonreadfund///5..TBCnene\\e

Quote from The Naked And Famous’ “The Mess.”

"'It'll End In Tears,'" from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Tomorrow I'm 21 If I Live

/I thought it might scare you, To see me under the ice. Make you remember you cared for me. What would you do if I died?/

I wanted to write a poem from your point of view, But I just couldn’t get into it, Because I know longer no you ‘cause as we grew up together, I thought that would be enough. And then to see you succeed without me, Well, it’s really quite too much. Imagine who we could’ve become. Can you imagine how we could have loved? You said, “Come with me if you wanna live.” But you said it while you weren’t The girl I knew I could trust. She doesn’t exist anymore. You killed her, cut her out, Knives I’ve come to terms with. Tomorrow I’m 21 if I live But how can you age if you’re not alive? And then, how can you die? Lmao, I don’t know.

I’m still a teen, Young Blood at heart An adult with broken mind. And I’ve seen Stuck In Love about a hundred times Drew a connection, to the point of religion, Now I pray for the strength to wait for you. Will you be my Jennifer Connelly?

Can you tell I’m sleepwalking now? And If I should die before I see, This all work out, it could, but I can’t possibly see how, Just please, shhh, just promise me you won’t, if I die, Please don’t let your love follow with me.

Quote from La Dispute’s “First Reactions After Falling Through The Ice.”

"Tomorrow I'm 21 If I Live," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

The Post Ex-Dream Funk

/“I wish you well” is what I’d say If you asked me in the light of day. But these nights are like a dream I can’t shake./

It’s these subconscious assaults You don’t know you commit on me Where I’m alone in the high school band room Which is now housing a computer lab for some reason, But I don’t notice an odd thing While I’m reading a note you left typed on the screen In your handwriting, in German which, right now, I’d swear I could understand. About how I’ve begged you so convincingly You’re thinking of coming back to me And if that’s the way it’s gonna be, God, Please don’t ever wake me up.

But He always does, and maybe I’m thankful for that. Because every day’s another chance To make these dreams a reality, But every day I’m reluctantly realizing – And correct me if I’m wrong, /please/ – You’re really never coming back. And maybe I’ve known that all along… So friends, today I have no choice but to pretend I wasn’t impaired by dawn. Do forgive me if I’m absent or slip up, For since the second I woke up I can’t wait to go back to sleep again And pray I pick up where I left off.

Quote from The Airborne Toxic Event’s “The Fifth Day.”

"The Post Ex-Dream Funk," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

What Stage Of Grieving Is This?

/Everything that kills me Makes me feel alive./

There’s this part of me – We’re not on speaking terms – Wants to move on’s in dissonance With the resonance of memories You pinned to my chest, piercing and then Heals around the holes, never close. Never close.

Can’t see the shakes the shakes permeate Waves crashing underneath your skin, into everything But when you’re shaking with them, Nothing appears to be moving at all and Ever sins I learned to dance, #lessonlearned #lessonlearned At night under the Vain University rays, I can feel I burned in the afternoon, And I just want to Take a cool shower and lie down.

Quote from OneRepublic’s “Counting Stars.”

"What Stage Of Grieving Is This?," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Tie That Binds

/With friends like you, There’s no need for enemies./

I was relatively okay only moments ago, They felt like any other, that same sick eternal I’m learning to live in alone, When I saw the return address on The envelope tears less fragile Than the wedding vows it promises. I never wished to be illiterate Until I read the words you wrote. But I just can’t put it down, see You’re something I’ll never be Good at lying to myself. You’re “thinking of” and “missing” me. Get used to it, I cannot visit A creature’s made their home in fantasy. And I can hear the wedding bells sounding. I wish I wish I could just press stop, And I wish I wish you all the best Is what I’d say to someone I didn’t so detest. But really, thanks for the invitation, It’ll make a great coaster for drinks On drinks on drinks, You give my life reason (to). And I peeled the stamp off the RSVP To mail a subscription to Hustler magazine. Oh, yes, “all is well” with me these days, If “well” and “fucked” are synonyms. I might be more excited if you Tied the knot around your neck. Valediction again, please, make this the last, Signed “your friend” is a privilege that You’ll never have again. But hey, look on the brightside. 50 years down the line and they ask you, “What the greatest thing you’ve accomplished?” At least you can say you inspired /this/.

Quote from Bring Me The Horizon’s “Blacklist.”

"Tie That Binds," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Stoptimist

/We’re both so broken and all I’m hoping Is that we’ll stumble upon our love again./

The magnolias bloom just one day a year. You’ll miss me if you don’t look up. It feels, for a moment like you’re right here beside me. You’ll miss me when you can’t get along without. Holding each other tight, never shivering, dear. When you’re sad and beautiful, like a cracked vase, a proposal snubbed. Lips, glass of homemade peach tea chilled in the heat. The dirt coats your lungs from the loveless drought. You hug me tight and help me breathe. I’m afraid of the kisses I stole. I’m surfing freely on the notes of your song. Flustered, like I’ll never love again. Like the very clouds above are beneath. You and I, we’re children of a black hole. And I’m right where I should’ve been all along. Our purple blood now circling the drain. Summer rain on sore muscles soothes all the hurt. Away from me and out entirely, for now. Weight I’d become used to now lifted and I, I don’t feel normal. I feel light. But it’ll revive, it always comes back sometime. And all I can feel is the warmth of the sunburned cotton t-shirt. But darker, like the hearts of parents of dead kids crying, “How?” And all I can see behind my Wayfarers is our future, so bright. We were destroyed in our prime. Some days, if I fell I know you’d be there to catch me in an instant. Some days it’s just me grasping at a love so distant. Most days I can taste the saccharine of a honey so brilliant. Most days it’s hopeless, a mirage in the desert nonexistent.

Now, after all that, it may seem like all is lost and nothing’s alright, But what if you could read only every other line?

Quote from Passion Pit’s “On My Way.”

"Stoptimist," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Misimagination

/Tell me that you need me ‘cause I love you so much. Say you’ll never leave me ‘cause I need you so much./

You’re so sweet I must be dreaming Of this season, free from demons in my head, Sleep so peacefully, finally, next to you ‘re wearing my favorite peach dress And we’re lying beneath my favorite peach tree And this whole afternoon is simply magic. Yeah, right. I mean… Can you imagine?

A place where the sun is shining, humbly, When you’re right here in my arms Head down, snuggling And I think I could see down your tank If I wanted to, but I don’t. Because I’m content with being happy- Ness has never been in fashion, But you and I, we’re just hoodlums, huh. Yeah, right. I mean… Can you imagine?

Cayucas’ on the turntable, Spinning lazily at 33 rotations per minute, We’re slow-dancing in my bedroom with the windows open And you whisper warmly in my ear “You’re so dreamy, E. Don’t wake me up,” Walking hand in hands clasped so tight, Really ready for something, anything We can destroy together beautifully. We run everywhere, smiling ignorantly And our lungs are filled with reckless abandon. Yeah, right. I mean… /Can you imagine?/

You’ll never discard me, I’m more than that and I’ll never have to see your back turned to me, I want to be you’re everything you want me to be, And it’s really a shame then, all this is fiction. But it didn’t have to be this way. So, please tell me, What the fuck happened?

Quote from Bring Me The Horizon’s “Don’t Go (feat. LIGHTS).”

"Misimagination," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

You Should Be With Me

/Don’t you know people write songs About girls like you?/

2AM on a Saturday and I’m lying in bed, naturally Texting a beautiful girl with dyed red hair – shhh E’s not shy, and why should she be? It looks great – Who lives just too far away to realize I’m very a really nice guy with The best of intentions being met with resistance All because of that whole long distance thing. I just want you to tell me The things she used to tell me But nobody whispers when There’s nothing worth whispering. I think there is a heaven. I had it. It left me. And maybe Hell is just what happens When your Heaven leaves. But I’m ready to love you, if you’ll let me. Bet me in 6 months nothing’s changed And I’ve still arranged for all the finest arrangements To be delivered most seasonably. It’s just… we’ve only ever been Running out of time since we began And I just… want to spend the rest of it with you If I can.

Quote from The Naked And Famous’ “Girls Like You.”

"You Should Be With Me," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Best Worst Thing

/Can you remember ever having any fun? ‘Cause when it’s all said and done I always believed we were. But now I’m not so sure./

It’s unseasonably warm this autumn afternoon And we’re wearing my hoodies With the windows down and the radio up And sometimes a leaf catches a breeze just right And lands in your lap, or you catch it in your hands And then let it back out, free to be And you’re smiling because it’s 2:43 And school’s out for us could be lovers And I’m smiling because you’re smiling And we’re on our way home together. Passion Pit on the radio playing a song We both know well, but I’ll let you sing it. Honestly I love to hear you sing And I dream of the wings your voice gives me, Makes the end of the day seem So impossibly far away and you tell me I’m so pretty and I don’t know what to say And I’ve never loved you more than I do today, But I will tomorrow.

Sometime later when I see your face in smiling pictures Curling and tearing at the edges, I’m jealous Of your friends and I wish I could be among them, but Once I’ve loved you, There’s no going back… begins

An unseasonably chilly spring afternoon And I’m wearing a hoodie, its smell becomes my own again, Or no smell at all And driving around with the windows down, I’m cold With the breeze but it seems at least There’s one thing left I haven’t lost control of – I can roll the windows down or up, Totally my call when I’m on my way home alone And The Neighbourhood’s murmuring on the stereo A song that $tings too much to sing along and I’m always driving home, one way or the other, but never arriving Which really makes the end of the day Seem so impossibly far away ‘til I can finally lie down and you told me I could work on a few things And I’ve never loved you less since the day I met you, But I will tomorrow.

Quote from Passion Pit’s “I’ll Be Alright.”

"Best Worst Thing," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

"The End Came Anyway"

/The smallest sounds Leave the clearest echoes./

Reflections on a sunny afternoon, Daylight tucked in black trash bags, Budget blackout curtains for the blackout blotto. Helps, the glare on the screen’s reduced (And I don’t want to see the day). I’m busy Watching Lovely Bones on a 17” screen And I think Saoirse Ronan looks a lot like you And I can’t hardly look away. I’m nostalgic for your dead within. I’m in the moment, every moment, Taken aback in time again. We were so free I’m checking how much time’s left in the movie, religiously. Now, 15 minutes of credits – you were here just a minute This last year alone longer than the 5 we spent together. You either die a Susie or live long enough To see yourself become a Jack. Childhood innocence, Relived vicariously through his daughter’s eyes, Lost in the moment there was no going back, Snuffed out in the black You know exactly when it dies. I’m afraid they’ll say, “She was /it/ for him.” As it were, I am the sickness. You were the cure.

Quote from La Dispute’s “Woman (In Mirror).”

"'The End Came Anyway,'" from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Quote from "'The End Came Anyway,'" from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

Remind Me To Forget You by Eli @KampSin

/Now that I’m lost I think I’ll stay In Hell. There’s comfort in these flames… I don’t feel a thing in Hell. I’ll forget your name here. You’ll become a stranger./

I’m afraid I’ve said some awful things, Hostile things in the moment I could never take back If you came back I wouldn’t feel them anymore But I’m afraid you couldn’t forget The way I fellt for you. I’m sorry too. Wonder if I’m haunting you. If you’ve read all this and you’re sick of my shit. I’m sorry, too. It’s just the way I’m working through Still dreaming about you 365 days later. What the hell did I do to deserve this, Such helplessness? I’m not used to this. Too late to save myself from becoming So unwittingly dependent on you Beyond recognition. This, a life intermission Wherein I guess I kind of forgot how to live. It scares me too to think that /you/ made me feel this way, Because then, karmatically-speaking, You’d be fucked just the same. And I tell myself I’m happy you’re happy now, But it’s always hardest to lie to yourself. Trust me, I’ve tried to pretend My life didn’t end When I lost my best friend Or that maybe you’ll come around?... We’d choke to death on amends.

Quote from Skrillex’ “Stranger (with KillaGraham feat. Sam Dew).”

"Remind Me To Forget You," from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

HUIR por Eli @KampSin

/Yo no soy nada sin ti./

Dime amor, es cierto el rumor? ¿Estás bien? ¿Y quién es para decir? Yo no soy médico, lleno temor. Dentro de ti, mareo esparcir. Se arrastra debajo de la piel, este secreto no se quedará. Mi encanto, yo alojado fiel. Si te vas, no voy a ser guardará. Mentiras que dicen, veo través. Tus ojos azul oscureciendo. Sin tiempo más a escapárselés. Mi fe en ti es desfalleciendo. Ahora o no, tomar mi mano. Buscamos un mayor soberano.

Quote from Senses Fail’s “Mi Amor.”

“HUIR,” from Hypernostalgia - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

“Horror At Homecoming,” from Grey Matter - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

“Shot,” from Grey Matter - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

“M.T. For Short,” from Grey Matter - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥

[kampsin]

“Miss Urie,” from Grey Matter - prose and poetry by Eli kampsin. Free download at KampSin.com/store. ♥