deep blue, but you painted me golden

hey steven

[fuchsea]

never ever did i think i'd be in my fucking 20s while the boys are in their 30s reading this

[kileywitharock]

@yumenokoibito @psychiet @jhnsbbgrl @welcometothedarksidefuckers @coldreadingnow @finalises @i-dream-of-cassie @scampanelli-blog @legendarybarbariandinosaur-blog @funnycutecool-blog @stylinsonroses @dearestloz-blog @youre-the-poet-inmyheart @halan1 @seductressvirginremy-blog @famoussublimeobject @one-direction-bacon-party @massivelygloriousdestiny @daniphantomblr @heyitsashers @hopeful-weirdo @expression-facade @rosebaby-world @doseofhowell @peachine @lavishlivi @reizoralph @harrypotterclothingg @nevershalliever-blog @emilaylaylay @ztimetabl @whatfinallykilledme @first-of-all-how-dare-you- @blacktinge @parkinggaragetrashcan @rosesonabyss @allswelll @zjmhes-blog @sweetlilbuttonface @agatto96 @lulupopsiepooh @dearmyblank @dernthefern @exposureapparel-blog-blog @deliciouslydeepestwizard @katleiakezia @bebeautifulstunning @bloody-nipples @funnylifetimes @alisasacagawea 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[kileywitharock]

@thespekis-blog @keineliebe-indir @echurch @efsunkan @phineasflyyn @jerrycalumn @im-doublesided @loversoflit @vgntees-blog @nominativeplants @yours-truly-daviarose @bragin-garikb4d3d3l @katya-gamezo335jew @2seokse @opalsblog @mylyvunofi822951-blog @llamasarefuckingamazing @oldcarsareold @uliyana-malyukova24dl @brookecamhi @kittysatanpaws @californiaceez-blog @lodeabhi-blog @sspheonix7-blog @lolwtfudoing @benkut @istartedwritingsongsbcofyou @phangirlstolethetardis @musicaloddle-blog @in-sugar-we-trust @ewciapsychev1972-blog @fobmoments-blog @lmaomichele-blog @proudpaisa @vibeywibey @offtothetardis @xraionax @meteorshcwer @rockhearttears @deepestangelcollective @miku-dance @guyinthebeanie @pripripriprimaryragretsss @ixmbarelybreathing @theylovedplug-blog @radialtyres @carysanne @rowanvogue @the-lucylou-blog @gyleasesk-blog 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[faggottt]

Social experiment: if you know what this is don’t say anything just reblog

[inward]

imagine stickin ur dick in a freshly poured cup of mcdonalds sprite

[ed-longshanks]

me trying to retain consciousness as my dick sucks up the sprite like a small elephants trunk

[jeekoftheweek]

you can post most anything on tumblr and expect results

[larkfeather1153]

If you have epilepsy/photosensitivity, you may want to avoid the Quick Reblog thing on mobile for the time being. For some reason the green confirmation bar at the bottom of the screen is now flashing rapidly (basically strobing) whenever I Quick Reblog a post, and Tumblr Support hasn't gotten back to me about it besides the standard list of basic troubleshooting.

[just-shower-thoughts]

The Son of Baconator implies that the Baconator fucks.

[unbotheredmuse]

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

This just hit me. I’m so Southern my family has a matriarch and no one in the family knows for sure how old she is. We all also got into a heated debate about the existence of her glass eye (still not confirmed). She’s in her 90s- we think- beat cancer, outlived two husbands, had seven children and has outlived three of them, survived The Great Depression, and either her dad or her grandfather was a full blooded Cherokee Indian… possibly the tribe’s leader but no one really knows for sure.

She also once lit into my dad’s school bus driver, cussing him black and blue about how he treated the kids and didn’t realize she had a butcher’s knife in her hand until he RAN away. She didn’t have any more trouble out of him.

[whitebeltwriter]

…I wish to know how and why this just occured to you, please

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

I had an eloquent reason but really what it boils down to is I think Mamaw is a cryptid. The running joke in the family is that Mamaw will be at the end of the world with the twinkies and the cockroaches.

I’m not sure it’s a joke anymore, I think it’s a premonition.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Two years ago one of my cousins wanted to bring her wife to thanksgiving and Joe was all “ew no way” and Mamaw stood her ass up and said “Who the hell do you think you are, saying who is and isn’t welcome in my house? This ain’t your house- you get out! I say who is welcome and YOU is not welcome. Now SCAT!” while slapping at him and then sat back down and asked my cousin if her wife ate catfish. Joe tried to come back in and she popped the tennis balls off her walker and threw them at him until he left

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

No matter how old Mamaw gets, her hair is still solid black. She still hasn’t gone gray and she’s never once died her hair. Her kids all have heads full of gray hair, and my father- her grandson- is starting to go gray. Mamaw? Nothing. I swear she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a kid.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Mamaw got Covid-19. She presented with symptoms and was rushed to the ER with a dangerously high fever and next to no oxygen. The doctors took note of her age (she’s apparently 93 as best she can guess) and her vitals and, well, Mamaw wasn’t gonna make it past Monday.

By Sunday night the fever was gone and she was complaining that the hospital didn’t get WWE and she was gonna “miss my wrasslin shows!”.

She was home and completely fine by Tuesday. By Wednesday she was calling up the anti-maskers in our family just to call them idiots and hang up.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Sources:

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/kgy4e1/missing_for_6_months_with_no_activity_on_cards_or/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I know this is out of form, but I think it is still an important share. Missing since June 2020 from Columbus, Ohio!

[awesomefitnessrecipes]

Easily Paleo-ified with some tweaks to the stir-fry sauce.

Love healthy food & fitness? Follow Awesome Fitness Recipes on Instagram

[notmusa]

does anybody know how long the sauces keep in the fridge if u wanna make them ahead

[a-spoon-is-born]

one of the ways i know this culture has a massive issue with consent

is the sheer amount of people I’ve known that just lie & tell people they’re deathly allergic to foods they dislike

because otherwise people will hound them, mock them, coax them, harass them, try to force them to eat it, or even trick them into eating it, and they will never hear the end of it

your coworkers will bake it into a fucking pie, call it something else, and wait til your birthday, gather everyone and their first cousins to sit around in a circle waiting for you to put a forkful into your mouth and then point rhythmically at you in a chanting, glaring, sweating, unholy circle like SWISS CHARD SWISS CHARD YOU JUST ATE SWISS CHARD HA HA HA SWISS CHARD NOW YOU LIKE SWISS CHARD

Because forcing someone into a situation where they don’t feel safe declining putting something into their body they’d rather not be there is totes 100% wholesome American fun

And this is something so known that it’s infinitely easier to just lie and tell people that you’ll die if you eat that food…which actually doesn’t always stop it from happening

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I literally told one of my coworkers that alcohol interfered with my meds and I wasn’t drinking because it might kill me. (It wasn’t true, but that kind of underscores the point here, because I didn’t feel safe refusing him). He still tried to pressure me into drinking, demanding that I just “try it once and see what happens”. This was only the beginning of the bullshit he pulled.

I work at a camp with a zipline, rock climbing, and other activities. We have to repeatedly get in between people who don’t want to do a challenge and their peers/bosses/parents pressuring them into it. Seeing my coworker, a four-foot-eleven woman, get in an angry drill sergeant’s face and tell him very politely that he’s not allowed to force his soldiers to go on the zip if they don’t want to gave me three extra vertebrae. Some people feel incredibly entitled to other’s choices, and when you remind them that they aren’t, they get aggressive. Most times passively. Some times not.

For some people, no doesn’t mean no. No means force. The fact that they can’t legally use it outright doesn’t tell them it’s wrong, just that they have to resort to trickery to get their way, because they know best. They choose professions like police officer, nurse, or parent to assert that control, that need for dominance over those they consider unworthy. And we let them, because we as a society believe that certain people should be controlled for their own good, and teach that from the cradle.

[garlic-slut]

Consent isn’t limited to sexual experiences. You’re not being a “baby” or “stubborn” for not engaging in experiences you don’t want to.

[slimetony]

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.

[sailor--spoon]

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

[nodaybuttodaytodefygravity]

Some old lady recently posted this photo in a Facebook group for my mom’s home town, literally just posting it to be informative, and I had to sit down and catch my breath

[heartbeatemoji]

hint: if a person with clinical depression and anxiety says theyre tired …. dont tell them they have no reason to be …. bc guess what….. They Know and Its Shitty

[meowtian]

Louder!!!

[kucala]

I just want to add one thing-

If you have depression or anxiety? you’re not tired for no reason.

You’re tired because you have depression/anxiety.

Not only do they both come with low energy/fatigue as a legit common side effect, but they’re both fucking /exhausting/. fighting your brain all the time? exhausting. adrenaline crashes from anxiety/panic attacks? exhausting. being on edge all the time? exhausting. plus doing things costs /more/ energy when you have those mental illnesses.

You’re not tired for no reason, you’re tied because you have an illness that makes you tired.

[manymoonsago]

I needed to hear this so bad that it made me cry

[imjusttiredofblank]

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

[the-last-girl-scout]

I wish that yankees could go like one day without forgetting that the South is full of people who are actively fighting against and suffering under all this stuff they just find distasteful

[the-last-girl-scout]

"They're red states so we should just write them off"

I fucking live here

[the-last-girl-scout]

"The poor and oppressed deserve to die to pay for the crimes of their oppressors."

--ancient yankee proverb

[transwrongs]

i wish more people could remember the amount of black people in the south lmao like.......

[the-last-girl-scout]

Mmhmm

The primary recipient of all this brutal unpleasantness as well as the primary force of positive social change in this region was, is, and remains the South's very large Black population.

But y'all would rather just forget about all that if it means you get to have a convenient scapegoat for nationwide systemic issues & get to feel superior to The Poors.

[thatspectacularpigeon]

I hate people that are like "oh you shouldn't curse. Use proper words. Only people with a small vocabulary uses curse words" like no Karen fuck is exactly the word I'm looking for.

Because saying you are and idiot is one thing

Saying you are a fucking idiot is another

[arachnofiend]

Similarly, trying to be all fancy and calling someone a “blight on the world” simply has a different energy and weight to it than calling them a fucking asshole.

You wouldn’t use a rapier in the same situation you’d use a folding chair.

[ruffboi-mags]

that last line is on fire tho.

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update:

[rainbowselfies]

[blvckgeezus]

Such a developing story.

[pastdueeverything]

I love this story

[athenadcvell]

This was a wild ride from start to finish

[gambit-of-a-small-rabbit-deacti]

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

[nitramaraho]

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

[wanderer-chronicles]

This just kept on getting better.