K's Avalon

Kenzal's Catch-All Tumblr

[incorrectappledashquotes]

These voice actors wildin’

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[trans-fanboy]

We didn’t start the fire-Marvel mash-up of the past decade

I didn’t get this on my dash so I’m suing everyone

[pomrania]

Okay people, you can take two minutes out of your day to experience this MAGNIFICENCE. If you can’t hear it, it’s still worth watching; if you can’t see it, it’s still worth listening to.

[ben-yatta]

i keep seeing the gif set so here’s the video clip

[ytp-clips]

[source]

[april-december]

@hourortwo

[bone-cement-huffer]

memeception

[hashtagloveloses]

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

[bl00dlikeice]

@caesarianconfection

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

[mommacomms]

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

[pagesofkenna]

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

[animatedamerican]

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

[captainlordauditor]

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

[japhers]

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

[maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit]

I was getting a political compass vibe too

[your-uncle-dave]

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

[politicalcompassmemes]

This works better than I thought it would.

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

This was in my senior project

[kait-the-kitty]

I’m not sorry.

[panickedmartian]

EIGHT MEME COMBO

[smooththegoofyshark]

FATALITY

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

We have officially created a new language 

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

I just had to do it to em

[phoneykin]

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

M E M E T E N

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

OwO?

[louchie]

[your-one-true-prince]

W o w

[screamingveryslowly]

You know I had to

[bone-cement-huffer]

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

[joyriding-in-the-fandoms]

THIRTEEN!?

[junepop45]

SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”

[astral-ghoul-deactivated2025100]

[moved-to-ancient-gaylienz]

well i added my contribution : )

why—

[fandersunite]

IM SCREAMING

[itsallavengers]

Tony listening to his child talk gibberish and drool all over his Armani suit: That is so fascinating. you’re incredible. Continue your story, I’m intrigued. I love you more than anything else in the universe. You are already the perfect human being. You literally do not need to learn or do anything else ever in your life. I would kill and die for you.

[itsallavengers]

Morgan Stark: *Rolls over*

Tony, nearly fainting: A GENIUS!!!!!!!!!! A PIONEER IN HER FIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE CALL FUCKING CERN MY BABY IS SMARTER THAN LITERALLY EVERYONE ON THE PLANET CONFIRMED

[itsallavengers]

Pepper, holding Morgan up: Tell her off. She just drew all over your Iron Man suit. 

Tony: Y-…. That was BAD…. you….

Morgan: :(

Tony, immediately breaking down into tears: ohmygod I did not Mean That even slightly Morgan you are perfect that drawing is beautiful I am going to render it permanently onto my suit I love you so much it’s okay you have never done a thing wrong in your entire life and you never will

Pepper: 

[tonystarkdefensesquadmember-dea]

Tony: *starts flying around with suit that has flowers drawn all up the sides*

[starkcontrasts]

maybe i’m SOFT

[tonystark5ever]

Pepper Stark: Honey she’s three, she needs boundaries.

TOny: Okay baby. Gimme her.

Tony: …

Morgan: :)

Tony: I literally cannot, i have met my match, there’s nothing more to be done, she’s got me, Pep, it’s over. I’m getting her a pony and her bedtime’s never.

[copperbadge]

Okay but also courtesy of Tony “Go to sleep or I’ll sell all your toys” Stark: 

Morgan: *crying for no reason as all babies do* 

Tony: Stop crying or I’m selling you to the CIA.

Morgan: *does not stop crying*

Tony: HONEY, WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR THE CIA BABY SALES LINE

***

Morgan: *innocently drinking from a bottle*

Tony: Look if you keep doing nothing but eating and sleeping we’re going to have to have a conversation about you paying rent. 

***

Morgan: *says first word* Mama.

Tony: You are disowned. Here’s your bindle. Go make your way in the world.

***

Pepper: Tony, she’s being fussy, can you take her?

Tony: *holding Morgan comically ineptly while still managing to support her comfortably* We’ve had this discussion. How is Mama supposed to see to my every need if you keep acting like this?  

Morgan: *burps*

Tony: That’s an ad-hominem attack and I will not tolerate it. 

[cosmere-cosmeme]

Lopen: On one hand, I think it’s an absolutely hilarious and we should do it. But on the other hand I’m The Lopen and there is no other hand.

[hoidthevoid]

THE UNVEILING

[rayreviews]

““Maybe I’m one of those punchy guys.” Adolin stopped in place and grinned at Kaladin. “Did you just say ‘punchy guys’?” “You know, ardents who train to fight unarmed.” “Hand to hand?” “Hand to hand.” “Right,” Adolin said. “Or ‘punchy guys’ as everyone calls them.” Kaladin met his eyes, then found himself grinning back. “It’s the academic term.” “Sure. Like swordy fellows. Or spearish chaps.””

—

Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer, pg 690

These two, I swear

[championoftheoppressed]

You know the main problem with the “live action” Lion King? Why it looks so lifeless?

The hyper realistic style is actually limiting the animators, rather than freeing them. The style makes it much harder to have memorable character designs and good expressions. Real lions don’t need to do things like emote in a way that humans can understand – but characters in a film do. The original movie was more cartoony not due to animation limitations of the time, but because that style genuinely serves the story better.

To show you what I mean, compare these two shots of Simba, from right after Scar says “run away and never return.”

Here is a clear reaction, with a strong beat for us to connect with before the character makes a decision. Even without any dialogue, even without any context, you can understand the emotion there just by the expression and the mannerisms. Is it realistic? No! He’s bright yellow and has eyebrows. But do we empathize with him? Yes!

Meanwhile, here is… a lion. Turning and running. No expression, no beats, no character moments, nothing. He actually can’t express himself because the animators are locked into the realistic style. If they tried to animate a strong expression as warranted for the scene, it would look terrible. Is it realistic? Hell yeah! Look at those textures! Look at that fur! But do we empathize with him? …nah. Not really.

To conclude: when you’re retelling Hamlet with a bunch of animated lions, cartoonish-ness is your friend, not your enemy.

[cradily]

why do we not fear crabs but we fear spiders and scorpions? crabs are like the weird aquatic love child of both and i dont understand

[loonaposting]

i can avoid crabs by not going to the beach shane. ms arachnea likes to live in my house and oppress me because im gay.

[adjectivebear]

Crabs are also good eating. Spiders and scorpions are useless death beasts.

[arlothia]

DON’T GO TO ROSHAR!!

[blunt-baon]

Okay sandersons? Comerenauts?

If you could take one item from the cosmere home what would it be? Foe me it would have to be the Elsecaller honorblade. Hands down.

[limpidlethologica]

A cloth that I’d given a million breaths

[rhetoricandlogic]

A larkin.

[cosmerememes]

Does Nightblood count as an item? I just want a talking blade

[official-hoid]

A bondsmith blade

[ksavalon]

A bead of Larasium.

[vladora]

“What’s his name?” “Oroden.” “Child of peace,” Kaladin whispered.  “A good name.  A very good name.”

- Oathbringer, Chapter 7:  A Watcher at the Rim

[downtroddendeity]

I’m watching Brandon Sanderson’s lecture series and things he has said so far include:

“Mistborn is My Fair Lady meets Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”

“And then I lock the artist in the closet, grab the manuscript, and run off cackling.”"Technology in our world was mostly driven by three things- really two- trying to beat up people and trying to get from Point A to Point B so you can beat up different people.“ “What’s the third one?” “Trying to grow more food so that your armies are better fed so you have larger ones so you can beat up other people better.”

“The 99% of evil lawyers give the 1% of good lawyers a bad name”

An exercise which produced a story where the protagonist bought their little brother pretzels at the zoo and he said “by the way I let a Tyrannosaurus out because I hate you”

Another exercise which produced a story where the wise old mentor is a mortician who’s afraid of dead people and poisons the Chosen One in Chapter 5

(The same exercise also basically created Phoenix Wright)

(And also featured Ron Weasley taking steroids and becoming a pineapple salesman)

“And he’s just “*broods*”.”

Cinderella and The Count of Monte Cristo basically have the same plot

Kaladin’s plotline in The Way of Kings is basically a sports movie

“The Gandalf of dentists.”

“Everyone in film school who thinks they’re being edgy is being edgy in exactly the same way.”

“…Unless a sapient baseball is the main character.”

“If the first-person narrator withholds information, they’re a jerk; if the third-person narrator withholds information, you’re a jerk.”

“And suddenly squash tasted like popcorn to him!”

Comparing worldbuilding without infodumps to sneaking vegetables into food in a way that kids will eat them

Student: “Is there ever any danger of releasing a weaker first or second or third book?” Brandon: “Yes, but it is balanced by the danger of running out of food.”

Misspeaking so now Gandalf is polyester instead of a totally-not-angel

He has a water bottle with a Bridge Four logo on it and a t-shirt that says “Hello! Would you like to destroy some evil today?”

[downtroddendeity]

“The first Star Trek rule of magic is that your chief engineer can fix any problem if you give them just a little less time than they say they need.”

[maddenikaris]

Brandon Sanderson books are such a mixed bag of names. Like, you’ve got the standard fantasy type stuff such as Kelsier, Elend, and Sazed. Then you’ve got the weirder names, like Vin or Breeze. And you’ve even got normal names, like Zane and Cladent. Then he just slaps you in the face with a name like Gneorndin

[bisexual-shallan]

then he throws a whole mountain on your face with Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor

[official-hoid]

Ha! You are just airsick lowlander

[centaurianthropology]

No, but seriously, do you know how amazing Vincent Price is?

Not just as an actor, although he was a blast to watch in everything he did.  He’s one of those actors who’s just clearly having a whale of a time, no matter how bad the film is.  He’s just genuinely happy to be there (it makes his villains a particular delight, and he played a LOT of them).

But did you know that he was also on the PFLAG board after his daughter came out to him?  And that he was one of the earliest celebrities to speak out against the silence surrounding the AIDS epidemic?

Did you know that when his daughter came out to him, he admitted to her that it had been difficult for him during his first two marriages, because his wives had not been pleased to find out that their husband was just as interested in men as they were?

That’s right, kids, Vincent Price was BISEXUAL AS FUCK, and it was one of those open Hollywood secrets.  And his wife Coral Browne?  The one he grew old with and wrote cookbooks with and was basically ridiculously sweet with?

Also bisexual as fuck.  They were the queer power couple of Hollywood in the 70s.  His daughter, Victoria, grew up around Rock Hudson and members of the LGBT community.  When she came out, Vincent Price became a board member of PFLAG and was just about the most accepting and awesome dad.

Did you know that Vincent Price played Oscar Wilde in a one-man play, and when it was denounced by anti-gay activist Anita Bryant, he dismissed her right back, saying that Oscar Wilde had already come up with a term for her: a Woman of No Importance?  Because Vincent Price was deliciously witty and an awesome person.

Let me conclude with a quote from his daughter (from this article, where I got a lot of this information):

‘“In a funny way, and I think I’m going to cry, he understood me at 22 better than I understood myself then,” Price concluded. “Of course, he was in his 70s and lived a hell of a lot longer than I had, and he understood that at the end of the day it’s about who and what and how we love. And I have not been a person who has been very successful at conventional relationships, but loving well and loving deeply has been the most important thing to me.”’

Happy birthday, Vincent Price.  You were a gem of an actor, and an even greater human being.

[white-throated-packrat]

I’m always delighted when I’m watching a vintage movie and Vincent Price appears in even a minor role.

[sweetiepie08]

My mom used to work the front desk at a fancy hotel that celebrities would sometimes stay in. When asked about her interactions with celebrities, she always says Vincent Price was by far the nicest and was always super polite.

She says it was also hilarious sometimes because he’d call down to the front desk for something totally normal, like extra towels or something, but the poor guy couldn’t help but sound sinister while doing it. 

[thesanityclause]

God I love him. What a hero.

[malfascination]

[fantasticarepickles]

this makes my heart ache

Silverstein always has been, and always will be my favorite poet because he doesn’t even need words in his poem to make people open their eyes.