Not today Justin
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Andulka
if i look back, i am lost
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cherry valley forever
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@lafleurdelamorte
“Brownish” may be an uncelebrated eye color, but on the bright side, they turn yellow in sunlight:
can you please stop being a fanfiction character, for one day, I’m begging you
and they turn VIOLET when I’m SAD and play BAGPIPE MUSIC from TINY SPEAKERS when I am HORNY
This is actually really cute I love it
How to Drive Your Players Insane
Step 1: Name your underground settlement of humans “Cavē Lupos” (Latin for “Beware of Wolves) circumvent it by pronouncing it as Cave and idk putting some wolf imagery around.
Step 2: Let it slip to a player or two that there’s a werewolf in that settlement (OOC).
Step 3: Name the local barkeep Lup, have her twin sons be named Romulus and Remus. Name the two friendly town guards Adolph and Beowulf. Name the mayor Fenris. Name the blacksmith Little Red, have her live with her grandmother; affectionately known as Granny, and also keep a massive Irish wolfhound. Name the shop owner and his assistant Ulrich and Sef.
Step 4: Watch your players go insane trying to figure out who’s a werewolf.
Step 5: Everyone is a werewolf. Every single person in the village is a werewolf. Even the wolfhound is a werewolf (part hound, part wolf). See how long it takes for your players to figure it out.
the old “typical Innistradi town” trick
@a-boros-named-seamus
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!Â
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay:Â How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?Â
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.Â
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?Â
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?Â
Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are.Â
Okay, now I can reblog it!
@marauders4evr
Fantastic!
@alrightanakin
I’m in love
I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful
Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he’ll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn’t have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would’ve hexed his ass to kingdom come.
Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!
-HC
Chef Ramsay would have become the kids’ favourite teacher and you can’t take that away from me.
Imagine him dealing with Umbridge
I approveÂ
Mama cat encourages her kitten to escape
THE MAMA CAT IS SO PROUD OF HER KITTEN
Mads Mikkelsen and Hideo Kojima are two different aliens who don’t know the other is an alien, simultaneously trying to understand how humans work from each other
“You look good in your outfit today.”
“Thanks the flesh is my own.”
“[hideo on twitter later] I have noticed Mads has wonderful skin, do you agree?”
Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman’s odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away.
#EXCUSE ME MA’AM BUT YOUR TITTIES ARE NOT CONES I’M CALLING BULLSHIT (via)
No, see, this scene is just amazing. The costume department deserves so many kudos for this, it’s unreal, especially given the fact that they pulled off Peggy pretty much flawlessly.
1) Her hair is completely wrong for the 40’s. No professional/working woman  would have her hair loose like that. Since they’re trying to pass this off as a military hospital, Steve would know that she would at least have her hair carefully pulled back, if maybe not in the elaborate coiffures that would have been popular.
2) Her tie? Too wide, too long. That’s a man’s tie, not a woman’s. They did, however, get the knot correct as far as I can see - that looks like a Windsor.
3) That. Bra. There is so much clashing between that bra and what Steve would expect (remember, he worked with a bunch of women for a long time) that it has to be intentional. She’s wearing a foam cup, which would have been unheard of back then. It’s also an exceptionally old or ill-fitting bra - why else can you see the tops of the cups? No woman would have been caught dead with misbehaving lingerie like that back then, and the soft satin cups of 40’s lingerie made it nearly impossible anyway. Her breasts are also sitting at a much lower angle than would be acceptable in the 40’s.
Look at his eyes. He knows by the time he gets to her hair that something is very, very wrong.
so what you are saying is S.H.E.I.L.D. has a super shitty costume division….
Nope, Nick Fury totally did this on purpose.
There’s no knowing what kind of condition Steve’s in, or what kind of person he really is, after decades of nostalgia blur the reality and the long years in the ice (after a plane crash and a shitload of radiation) do their work. (Pre-crash Steve is in lots of files, I’m sure. Nick Fury does not trust files.) So Fury instructs his people to build a stage, and makes sure that the right people put up some of the wrong cues.
Maybe the real Steve’s a dick, or just an above-average jock; maybe he had a knack for hanging out with real talent. Maybe he hit his head too hard on the landing and he’s not gonna be Captain anymore. On the flipside, if he really is smart, then putting him in a standard, modern hospital room and telling him the truth is going to have him clamming up and refusing to believe a goddamn thing he hears for a really long time.
The real question here is, how long it does it take for the man, the myth, the legend to notice? What does he do about it? How long does he wait to get his bearings, confirm his suspicions, and gather information before attempting busting out?
Turns out the answer’s about forty-five seconds.
Sometimes clever posts die a quiet death in the abyss of the unreblogged. Some clever posts get attention, get comments, get better. Then there’s this one which I’ve watched evolve into a thing of brilliance.
MY FAVORITE POST ON THIS SITE
I’m all for fantasy stories where supernatural characters protect their human friends, but does anyone else want some stories where the humans are the ones who are looking after their supernatural friends?
A human girl exchanging her silver engagement ring for a cheaper one after she realises why her werewolf friend has been refusing to high five her.
A group of humans throwing coats over their vampire friend because he forgot it was the Summer solstice and was caught out by the sunrise. Those same friends coming to visit him when he wakes up in the late afternoon, bringing him blood from the butcher’s and putting up with his whining about the nights being shorter.
A human hearing that someone stole their selkie friends pelt and coming over to her new “husband"s house immediately and threatening to punch his lights out unless he tells them where it is.
Humans petitioning the counsel to build a wooden climbing frame in the local playground because the old one has iron parts and their fairy friend’s kids can’t use it without burning themselves.
I’ll post more if I can come up with any.
👌👌👌👌👀 that’s some gOOd SHIT rIGHT ThERE
is stealing a 700 year old monks’ oc copyright infringementÂ
art © me
character © brother gregory
BY A WHAT
THATS ALL THE BIG SCARIES IN ONE BUG TFFF JU
Give it a dime, apparently.
Had to go research this thing, and the answer to what to do if it stings you is scream.
from Wikipedia-
“One researcher described the pain as “…immediate, excruciating, unrelenting pain that simply shuts down one’s ability to do anything, except scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations. In terms of scale, the wasp’s sting is rated near the top of the Schmidt sting pain index, second only to that of the bullet ant, and is described by Schmidt as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”.“
Soooooo…dissociate to escape or?
It’s laying eggs in you.
Let’s back up a second and fully appreciate that description.
The Schmidt sting pain index, a widely used classification system for the bites and stings of ants, bees and wasps, is literally the personal ranking system of a guy named Justin Schmidt, who goes around letting bugs sting him for science. Like, that’s this Thing as a scientist.
In one entry, he describes the sting of the common bee as “almost pleasant, [like] a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.”
In another, the sting of the yellowjacket is described as “hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.“
So when the Schmidt sting pain index characterises the sting of the tarantula hawk as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”, well, now you know what your standard for comparison is!
this is fascinating but when do we kinkshame Justin Schmidt
the love between a lesbian trucker & the insatiable crocodile woman who lurks the mississippi river
is this a seanan macguire novel
This whole series is like a Dr. Phil episode. (Credit to @aegiskitty for the idea. She is a gem.)
No bitchÂ
That’s nice but the post was by a bi person upset at bisexual erasure
The dudes from mythbusters are the ultimate unstoppable force vs immovable object,, every time they interact its just
The funny story about this is that Jamie isn’t actually that stoic, he’s just absolutely foulmouthed and they kept having to redo takes because he’d swear, so he just says as little as possible to try and prevent that :P
seduce me with ur history knowledgeÂ
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death
during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.
The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people
King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.
Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.
Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes
At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.
When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.
Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.
During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.
People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.
The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.
Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives
Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”
fun date idea: stab him in the leg
Albert Einstein was such s hard believer on civil rights during his time that the us government made the cia I watch everything he did. Because they believed he was communist spy from Russia for believing in civil rights.
Louis xiv (14th, the sun king) really liked womens’ shoulders and made it mandatory that formal court gowns have off the shoulder necklines(or JUST on the peak of the shoulder, with a lace modesty panel over it), along with three tiers of lace on the sleeves. although the necklines changed a bit over the next century, the basic gown remained the same, and it was only in 1820 that it completely left fashion, when someone pointed out that hoop skirts don’t go well with empire waists and it was made no longer mandatory for English court presentation.
Beautiful Mass Effect Prints
By TheRealMcgee
