LetsGetBrave

“If only, if only,” the woodpecker sighs, “the bark on the tree was as soft as the skies.” While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, he cries to the moon, “If only, if only.”

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Infidelity au where Shane comes out to his parents of his own volition and end up marrying his Nice Man From Montreal™ and living in his big tastefully decorated McMansion where he hosts brunches for his Nice Milquetoast Husband's nice milquetoast friends from work and at any moment he is gonna start screaming and never stop except he can't even explain WHY he's so deeply unsatisfied with his nice picture perfectly palatable Gay Marriage.

And then Ilya Rozanov comes tearing into his deeply sexually repressed life like a missile target locked on Shane's understanding of himself and his sexuality, ready to blow it all to smithereens, no longer just Shane's first flint of desire but his fucking nuclear bombshell.

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Ilya after homewrecking the SHIT out of Shane:

[fella-lovin-fella]

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

[averagesquire]

edm rat ilya and edm festival emt shane

ilya is rolling and having the time of his fucking life covered in neon paint and body glitter and also a nasty fucking sunburn and getting hauled into shane’s emt tent because his dumbass doesn’t think he needs water to live and shane cooling him down with a towel on his head and getting him water

“Are you an angel??”

“No. Drink some water.”

“Mmmm no. I think you are angel.”

“If that’s what it takes to get you drinking water then sure. Whatever.”

*sips water* “Hmph. Grumpy angel.”

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

the entirety of the montreal victorie team has known shane was gay since at least 2014. there are like six women on that team who like men, three of which thought shane was hot, and one of which gets him on a date, only for her to come back like "yeah that is the gayest man ive ever met."

they met at some sort of fundraiser or event and she strikes up a conversation with him, and at the end of the night she oh so subtly asks if he wants to grab dinner (food at tthe event sucked) to finish their conversation about the technical differences between mens and womens professional hockey, an offer shane takes very literally because he's very invested now and actually enjoying this conversation, and at the time has very firmly drawn the line in his head that there is absolutely nothing possibly romantic about hockey.

when her teammates ask her how the night went the victorie player is like "he was really nice, listened intently to everything i had to say, laughed at my jokes, paid for dinner, didn't tell me about how much more difficult mens hockey is. he treated me like the best conversation partner he's had in a while. he's gay. he just doesn't know it yet."

it becomes a thing that anytime the montreal mens and womens teams are at an event together, all the women love talking to shane, and his teammates (who don't know about the not-date because he's never mentioned it) tease him about how he's such a ladies man and he should ask one of them out, they'd definitely say yes. meanwhile the victories all like him because he's actively not hitting on them or talking over them and he really just wants to talk about hockey.

like they're so used to every conversation with an nhl player ending his him disrespecting the pwhl in some way and acting like they should be impressed he's a professional athlete (like they aren't professional athletes too!!) meanwhile shane starts conversations with "so i watched the documentary you recommended on the first womens olympic hockey team and-"

bonus points if shane doesn't even realize/remember being on a date with one of the players until hayden brings it up years later and when shane AND ilya are like "i/he went on a what with who???" and hayden just sighs and has to say "ok so in like 2014 you went on a date with-"

[limpwristedrose]

Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.

And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.

You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho

If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.

and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it

[snowsmoked]

Shane riding Ilya and Ilya getting lost in the rhythm until he subconsciously notices the pattern.

10-pause-10-pause-10-long pause, lean down to kiss-10-pause-10-pause-10.

“Are you…” Ilya said incredulously. “Are doing reps right now?!”

[sexysilverstrider]

the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

[medusasstory]

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

[ryan-sometimes]

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

[mankillercalledbunny]

Not to bring the serious to a very fun post, but this reaction is exactly what Mamdani is working for with his image, because in a very real way the most effective way for him to be The Mayor is if he looks like The Mayor.

This is a man who is VIOLENTLY aware that when it comes to conservatives, he is a Muslim first, a Brown Man second, an Immigrant third, a Socialist fourth, and a human a very distant fifth, if considered at all. He was also a young adult during the Obama Years and will have seen Republicans rip Obama to shreds for wearing a tan suit instead of a dark one and use literally ANY excuse they could to try and degrade his image.

Despite the fact that a mayor who wears a T-shirt and jeans might "seem more approachable" in the eyes of the average American, Zohran Mamdani knows that someone with his profile fundamentally cannot get away with that the way his White colleagues can. He has instead put in the effort to look professional and BE approachable, because not only does it make it easier for him to reach and represent his constituents, it forces everyone, including both his opponents and establishment Democrats, to engage with the work he is doing instead of judging his image. The fact that he is always seen in a suit and is recognisably The Mayor is, while also something he has fun with, a deliberate choice to ensure he is as inarguably A Professional Politician To Be Taken Seriously. The added humour of e.g. the hi-vis is a bonus, only achievable because he works so hard to Look Like The Mayor.

[mankillercalledbunny]

Adding these tags from @haunted-stranger-garden bc they illustrate this brilliantly

[ticklefighthockey]

I just neeeeeed ten thousand fics about hot cocky high-end escort ilya whose job is to fulfill his high-end clientele’s every sexual fantasy without blinking but who will never ever ever let anyone in emotionally. that’s not what he’s for and that’s not something he would ever want (LIAR!!!!!). paired with a shane who’s like oh my god it’s so fucking embarrassing that I’m falling in love with the guy I pay to fuck me. it’s so mortifying that he makes me feel safe and held and seen in ways that no one else has ever seen me and my brain interprets that as maybe we like each other. maybe there could be something tender & rare & real blossoming between us. I should probably end this and start dating a famous actress so I stop feeling confused and kind of sick about it in my head/heart

[sinmonger]

François Arnaud | Heated Rivalry's François Arnaud Gets Ready for the Saint Laurent Show | Vanity Fair | 01/28/26

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

[penandinkprincess]

My contribution to Melissa lore is that the Montreal team is genuinely convinced Shane is in love with Melissa, he never picks up girls but is calling her at all hours, they clearly get on and have their own inside jokes and banter. Especially if they don't know his allergies. Of course Shane is dating a specialist sports dietician who works for the Metros, he'd probably marry hockey if he could. They're living in a universe where Shane's illicit forbidden hockey romance is hidden due to the Human resources department. Hayden casually brings up how he knows 'Lily' is a code name and Shane's life briefly flashes before his eyes. 🥭🥭🥭

complicating this is that shane IS a little bit in love with melissa. NOT romantically or anything, but he went in already SO apologetic because he knows firsthand that having to work around his needs is a pain, and her job is just supposed to be optimizing nutrition to make sure he can deliver a good performance, and and and-

and melissa's eyes instead lit up because this is her SHIT. she fucking LOVES THIS. like shane went in expecting annoyance or at least frustration and instead got enthusiastic "let's fucking GOOOOO" energy because melissa fucking LOVES her job, and shane is a fun challenge that pushes her skills in research and creativity and adaptation.

and in my head, melissa is one of the dieticians who goes into the field because they themselves had experience with disordered eating, and so in my heart, melissa was a varsity athlete who knows firsthand how fucked up the culture around food gets in sports, so optimizing nutrition AND promoting healthy, balanced ideas around nutrition are very important for her. so also seeing shane get more comfortable over time contacting her and asking questions and even making requests (!! requests!! yay!! he has preferences beyond requirements!!!) is extremely personally satisfying in how it is fucking EXACTLY what she got into this field for.

also: melissa has been in sports nutrition for 10 years by the time she first meets shane after she transfers in from another team's nutrition department. she has met plenty of shitty men in this job who either don't respect her expertise or even try to fucking mansplain HER OWN GODDAMN FIELD TO HER. like yeah some of them listen and ask questions and respect her degree, but some of them are also assholes because this is Macho Man Sport. shane, though?? fucking LOVES outsourcing decisions. he LOVES that shit. so shane with her?? respectful, always listens, defers to her as an authority on the thing she's spent years of her life studying, and is genuinely appreciative of her. so polite. so genuinely relieved to have her make choices for him.

so like. yeah. shane and melissa?? CONSTANTLY in touch. 100% looks like he might be in love with her even though she is about 15 years older than him (and unknown to anyone else in the workplace, a lesbian). and for her part? melissa is very fond of shane. he is a very rewarding client and she also has a soft spot for the fact that food specifically is very difficult for him. he's literally a fucking perfect case of why she got into this field.

this does lead to the EXTREMELY funny gossip in the montreal rumor mill that shane is "cheating" on melissa with boston lily, thus having a woman in two cities, and tbh? it gets him cred with the guys that he doesn't know he has. they respect the game. and then he starts dating ROSE LANDRY????

shane??? IN FRONT OF MELISSA YOU'RE DOING THIS???

there are at least a few players on montreal's team who think that dating rose landry must be a cover to hide his relationship with melissa because maybe hr started asking questions or something. like shane and melissa's love is clearly as strong as ever, so CLEARLY something else is going on here.

[lavenderprose]

My Vegas breakdown is making the rounds again and I would like to remind people that DOM DROP is real and also Ilya Rozanov has no idea that it's happening to him. Yes Ilya is a mean dom, especially that night, but the cigarette and vodka conversation was not part of the scene and the reason he's choosing not to communicate in that moment is because he is fully in Dom drop and literally feels like he cannot communicate. Shane, sitting next to him, is fully in sub drop and ALSO feels like if he actually opens his mouth to ask for what he wants (Kisses) then he's going to throw up or ask for something insane. Also they're in love and hiding it badly. Also Ilya is going back to Russia in a matter of days. Also Shane has been feeling some version of chewed up and spat out for over six months at this point. They're not doing WELL. And they're not doing it to each other it's just. Happening.

[roseoilz]

translucent fabric sculptures by korean artist do ho suh

[teaboot]

FABRICCCCCC?!??!?!?

[ilikeit-art]

[cartoondog]

we are gonna be vacuuming up this post for the next five years

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

[academicssay]

[catradoraism]

[softlypause]

Haha looks like that relationship didn’t work out… didn’t work out et al.

[bad3idea3]

So Shane Hollander is put on IR for something minor and gets to join the Ottawa WAGs for a game. They are so jazzed they get him a WAG jacket just for the occasion. They’re coming down the stairs of the stadium in a pack and the jumbotron catches them. The WAGs all jump up and down and start waving, grabbing and pointing to Shane’s jacket as he blushes, until one new girl in platform heels buckles her ankles and nearly biffs it.

NEARLY because Shane Hollander catches her with his professional athlete reflexes. With no room to move on the crowded steps, he pulls her into a bridal carry like she weighs peanuts and twists and shuffles her to a seat. He places her down gently and gets on one knee to ask if she’s ok. She is truly swooning. Everyone in the stadium is swooning.

Shane rights himself and to his surprise a grown woman and girlfriend of his teammate is requesting “uppies”. He tries to laugh it off. Dr. Lisa Hayes announces “You guys are amateurs, watch this!”

She sprints up a couple of steps, turns, and jumps. Shane catches her immediately, but flops her into a fireman carry. He goes full captain about how unsafe this is and they should all know better. He then puts Lisa down just as gently and she high-fives the new girl with no remorse.

Every Centaur accuses Shane of trying to steal their girl. Ilya wants “uppies”.