★
taylor price
#extradirty
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Sweet Seals For You, Always
will byers stan first human second
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Misplaced Lens Cap
Jules of Nature
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⁂
Discoholic 🪩
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Peter Solarz
Andulka
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@lg-syrus
MariBat Memez???
You know I saw this image on my dash and told myself, how can I make it MariBat? Then this happened instead of writing another chapter…
Bright Version
This is the original photo I saw under the cut!
Keep reading
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
everytime someone brings up this kinda trope, i always think of this scene
this is such a good example of “Oh man if you do this you’re totes as bad as me” like no bitch I’m protecting the damn universe by stabbing you you fuckwad
a personal favourite from my childhood
Someone gimme that Pratchett quote from Men At Arms, you guys know da one!
*snaps fingers frenetically*
‘If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you’re going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat.
They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar.
So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.’
@sirterrypratchett, how about this one?
Red Hood does have a point.
I once saw a post where Jason liked to use shirts with phrases like "Daddy little problem" "Daddy issues" and things like that to piss of Bruce, if Jason where to give his brothers and sisters some of his shirts what they would say?
Dick: the Richard Nixon “They can’t lick our Dick” slogan
Tim: “Wake me up (wake me up inside)”
Damian: “I like cats”
Duke: “World’s okayest brother”
Stephanie: “I’m with stupid”
Cassandra: “You suck less than most people”
Barbara: “I like to party and by party I mean read books”
Harper: “Nope”
Carrie: “Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come”
Marinette: "Demon tamer"
A number of Drabbles written in MariDami discord for the HC that Damian has crows that follow him around
...
*Damian walking up to pick marinette up from school with his flock of crows behind him and a scowl on his face.
“Oh Mari must have been telling you such awful things about me!” Lila cried, throwing herself against Damian’s arm (he side stepped out of her way and smirked as she stumbled). “She’s been such a bully, you’re better off not hanging around her, but if you want to hang out with me?”
“No offense, sausage hair, by I suggest you leave now while you still can. I didn’t have time to feed the ladies and frankly I think they think your hair looks appetizing. Also I’ve know Mari for years now. I don’t think she’s capable of hurting a fly. Me on the other hand.” He took a step forward, the crows crowing behind him as if anticipating his next actions. “I would kill a man without second though. Would kill a liar with zero hesitation. You mess with Mari and my birds here will be the least of your worries.”
Lila paled considerably and backtracked up the stairs to look for Ayla. She passed Marinette on her way in who immediately noticed Damian waiting for her and raced down the stairs, jumping down the last few, as he caught her and spun her around. “I missed you Angel.”
“You saw me this morning.”
“That was hours ago.” He kissed her cheek and took her hand in his.
“Suppose it’s a good thing you’ll be starting class with me next week.”
“I look forward to it.”
“ I see you brought your entourage?” She teased glancing to the group of crows perched on various objects around them.
“They’re only in this relationship for the free food.” He huffed. “But I was just going to get them food. Figured I’d wait for you and we could go together?”
“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled down at her and pulled her gently down the walkway towards their next destination
//////////
When Damian starts hanging around Marinette, the crows discover that, yes, Mari can and will feed them if she has food on her. So they hover around her a bit. Not like they do Damian, mind you, but it’s not uncommon for Marinette to walk into her balcony and find some trinket or another sitting on the chair
//////////
Crows are smart. It didn’t take long for them to learn Marinette is Ladybug and once one crow witnessed the transformation, the word spread like fire. So imagine Chat noirs shock when a swarm of crows swoop down on an akumatized victim, snatch up their object and deposited it on ladybugs hands.
“Uh...my lady?”
“It’s easier to just not question it, Chat.” She said, purifying the akuma and walking over to comfort the victim. “And don’t tell me the extra aid isn’t appreciated.”
“Oh no, it’s appreciated, but how to I get my own army of crows?”
/////////
(Ok but, what if, bear with me, the crows see Gabriel in his little hidey hole And they figure it out but, being crows, can't properly communicate it - Lili
They would take the Miraculous and give it to Mari - Chocolate17 )
Damian wasn’t expecting to be woken up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing, but usually if someone dared to call him at this hour it was important.
“What?” He scowled, eyes barely open and head still on the pillow.
“I love you.” He woke up immediately because that was his angels voice and why was she saying she loved him? Like of course he knew she did, but this was so random?
“I love you too. Is something wrong?”
“I’m outside, let me in.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You’ll understand if you come let me in.” He cussed and scrambled out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt that probably clashed with the sweatpants he wore, but Marinette has no right to berate him at this hour. And that’s beside the point. Why was she even here? What had happened? He swore of Lila had done anything
He opened the door to find a beaming Marinette with three loaves of what looked like freshly baked bread in her hands. “What?”
“Where are they? I know they sleep on your balcony at night sometimes. Where are they?” She meant the crows. She was here for the crows with freshly baked bread.
“You made them bread at three in the morning?”
“I should be making them much more than that.” Damian frowned absolutely and utterly lost.
“I’m confused.”
“Oh right!” She shoved the bread into his hands and reached for her purse. “I was working on a design late and walked out to get some fresh air and guess what I found waiting on my chair?” She pulled out the butterfly and peacock miraculous and showed them off. “I dunno how and I don’t care but they somehow got them for me. I’ve been fighting hawkmoth for years, Dami, and you’re crows were the ones to take him down.”
“You were out detectived by crows.”
“Technically so were you since you’ve been helping me.” He scowled.
“We never speak of this to my brothers. They will not let me live it down.” She smiled and pecked his cheek with a kiss.
“Where are your ladies, Dami. I’m gonna feed them so much bread.”
“Come on, I’ll get some hot water going, we can sit out on the balcony at talk over tea while word spreads your here with bread.”
“I’ll grab the blankets.”
(On the balcony)
“Holy crap we have to tell Adrien.” Marinette realized only for Chat to drop down on the balcony and de-transform.
“You guys will not believe the shit that just happened at home.” And he goes into this long winded dramatic story about the crow siege on Agreste manor and the entire time Damian and Mari are exchanging a realizing look. “I dunno why they were there but it was so cool.” Adrien said finally finishing.
“So, I guess that answers some questions.” Damian decided, as Marinette pulled out the two recovered miraculous.
“The crows dropped them off earlier this morning, dunno where they got them, but I think we just got our answer.”
“Oh...” Adrien deflated a little but then his signature chat grin returned. “OH! So what, pray tell, are we going to do about it? We have three whole superheroes and one miraculous-less washout of a father alone in his mansion. Between the three of us, I’m sure—“
“Already ahead of you on that one Agreste. We’ve been brainstorming what we were going to do when we figure out who exactly hawkmoth is, but now that we have a face to a name, we can scheme more effectively. Naturally you should have a say in this.”
“Ah, I knew there was a reason we were friends.” He hummed, sitting down and taking a by of bread to toss to the slowly amounting crowed of crows
//////////
Adrien Agreste, ever the actor, hid his feral grin behind a concerned look as he marched into his fathers office with an envelope addressed to “Hawkmoth.” Damian, Mari, and he had spent the rest of their sleepless night concocting and playing out a plan. Their hands were tied. Since they couldn’t expose hawkmoth and they couldn’t claim he was a villain without him denying anything and everything, they had to do something else. The end result was this video. A painstaking brilliant video that was so successful because Adrien swore every crow in Paris was hanging out on Damian’s balcony.
“Uh, Father?” His office was a mess, things tossed about and Adrien again fought to hide his smirk. Gabriel turned on his son, anger in his eyes they slightly faded when he saw who was at the door.
“I don’t believe we are supposed to meet today, Adrien.”
“Um, no, but I saw this in the front hall. I think someone slid it under the door or something, I dunno. It’s addresses to hawkmoth though, which—“ the man snatched the envelope out of his sons hands.
“Out,” he ordered.
“But—“
“Adrien I have important business to attend to, please excuse yourself and head to school.” He deflated a little.
“Yes father.” He turned and left, but as soon as the door closed behind him, Adrien was gone like a bat out of hell. He didn’t care if his father caught him anymore, he leaped off the front porch with a shout of “claws out,” and was racing across the roofs back to Damian’s place as Chat.
He landed, raced into the living room and vaulted over the couch as his chat costume dissolved. Damian and Mari were already waiting, a queue of his fathers office playing because there was no way they were going to miss this. This masterpiece his father was about to watch was the combined efforts of three angry, very very tired, teenage superheroes, and everyone who had to deal with one ever in the span of their life knew that teenage heroes could be and absolutely are little shits.
//////////
Gabriel Agreste was not having a good day. He woke up this morning and not only was the butterfly miraculous missing, but the peacock as well. At first he’d thought he’d misplaced them. It would be a first, but wasn’t impossible. He tore his office apart looking for them, but he’d stopped when his son arrived holding an envelope labeled to hawkmoth. There was no address on it so clearly someone had dropped it off here personally. But how? He’d covered his tracks. He should be off the suspect list.
Inside the envelope was a disc, and after clearing his desk of the clutter from his search he inserted it into his computer and pulled it up on the monitor behind his desk. It was a video. Someone had sent him a video? Hesitantly he hit play only to balk at the sudden close up picture of a crow.
“What the f—“
“Gabriel Agreste!!!” A low voice growled, as the video began to zoom out. And zoom out. And zoom out. There were at least 100 crows in the shot and Gabriel wasn’t sure what to make of this until the frame zoomed back in on a few, two of which were holding the miraculous he’d been searching for. “Gabriel Agreste, we’ve been watching you, and we have not liked what we’ve seen. You have abused the people of our city for long enough and we grow tired of watching them suffer. When they suffer, we suffer from the lack of food they stop giving us. So tonight we’ve said enough is enough. We’ve taken your source of power. We’ve been watching, we’ve been waiting. Your judgement has arrived, and you cannot escape it.” The image panned over the flock of birds and in a layover that sounded as if they were all speaking at once. “We will forever be watching you Agreste. If we see you so much as step out of line, our vengeance will be swift and merciless. We are everywhere Gabriel Agreste. You cannot escape us.” And then the image went blank. And Gabriel stared.
He watched it another three times to try to make sense of everything, and after the fourth time he realized something. There had been a lot of crows hanging around the manor as of late. More than than usual, considering the usual was zero. And sentient birds? He would buy it. He knew of the stuff villains in America did to animals he wouldn’t put it past them to create a sentient flock of crows that had escaped to Paris and were now...what? Hunting him?
Gabriel knew he should be more panicked than this. Is entire plan foiled by? Crows? Crows?
He ran his hands through his hair and stared blankly at the floor.
“Nope,” he couldnt believe this was a thing that was happening. “Nope. I’m not dealing with this. God sent crows as a sign for me to stop and I’m not dealing with this.” Gabriel had seen some odd things during his run as hawkmoth, but frankly this was ridiculous. He’d gotten his hands on the miraculous by chance. No way he was gonna get them back that easily now.
He pushed himself off the desk and walked to the door calling for Natalie as he went. She was not going to believe this either. What was the world coming to?
//////////
“Did he just??? Quit?” Adrien had watched his fathers reactions carefully. “Just like that. Threatened by crows and he quit?”
“I’m more surprised he even bought the whole crows out to get you thing.” Damian huffed, half asleep and leaning heavily on Mari’s shoulder who was also giving Adrien a tired smile.
“Adrien, I think it’s about time you made friends with your own crow.” Damian snorted and Adrien realized exactly where this was going.
It was later in the day when Adrien walked back into the house with a crow nestled safely on his fluff of hair. Shockingly, Gabriel was there to greet him and froze upon seeing the sight.
“Adrien, what is that?”
“A crow, father. I’m sure you’ve seen them before.”
“Yes, but why is it on your head and in my house.”
“Oh, well he just landed there and wouldn’t leave me alone. I think he’s lonely. Offered to take him home with me and he seemed to like the idea. I know you said no pets, but this will be like... an on again off again relationship. And he’ll stay in my room.” The crow screeched from his head and Adrien coughed to hide his smile when Gabriel jumped away.
“I don’t like that way that bird is looking at me.”
“Ferdie is harmless.”
“You named him?”
“Can I keep him?” The designer glanced at the bird and then to his son.
“I...guess?” Adriens whoop was just as loud as the birds as her ran up to hug his father. Ferdie flapped over to the railing to wait and followed Adrien as he raced up to his room.
Gabriel stared after him and sighed. “What is happening?” He went to find Natalie again hoping he would wake up and this entire day would have been an elaborate dream.
THIS IS ABSOLUTE GOLD!!!
Holy crap ok so
You're probably about to see a lot of crap going round about this because what the hell?? It's advertised on the playstore as an unofficial AO3 app with free fanfic to read and it's pretty popular
I downloaded it and yeah... when they say unofficial AO3 app they really mean they've ripped a bunch of content off AO3 and it's just on there to read. Searching my AO3 handle gets me this:
What the hell. That's my stuff. 144 fics to read. The stats you can see for the ones there are ripped from AO3 too. Beyond obviously, I was never contacted about having my work put up on an app I've never heard of. And what makes this better?
There's an option to go Premium and even to leave a tip. They're purportedly keeping the app alive with this cash but to call a spade a spade, they're profiting off fanfic by ripping it from AO3 and asking users to pay for a premium service.
I'm furious. The reviews on this app are all talking about how useful the users did or didn't find it; no one seems concerned that the app should not exist in the first place. What the hell
As a writer I'm going to be contacting AO3 about this (though things seem to be kicking off to the point that I'm sure they already know). I'm making this post to let any users of the app know: I know having an AO3 app would be great but this is not the answer. To rip content from people on AO3 and try to profit from it is deeply not okay, and flies directly in the face of so many core elements of fandom. We are not for sale.
And just to be clear: the app isn't a library that you can use to search for fic and then click through to go to AO3 itself.
This is the text of one of my fics, just ripped and posted on the app.
If you tap on one of the fics from the list I posted a pic of in my first post, you see this
(Notice the ad at the bottom. This is being monetised. I also got a full-screen ad that I had to wait for while taking screenshots. I was getting this person paid for MY OWN FIC but I really want to document this.) Now if I tap that three-dot menu you can see up there, I get this:
"Open in browser" is the link that does take you to the AO3 page of my fic. It's very unobtrusive. Clearly the app developer doesn't want you leaving the app to read, and taking away your time viewing their monetised ads. I imagine it's only there for plausible deniability down the line.
If I try to leave a comment, I get this:
My comment was not successfully added. Maybe the ability to communicate with a robbed AO3 writer is a ~Premium feature? Snark aside, I imagine it's because I'm not logged in on the app, and so I have no username to post the comment under. But the app tells me my comment's been posted. It's broken, it's lying, it's one crappy part of this crapshow app that I hope is gone from the playstore before I finish typing this all out.
For the curious, trying to leave kudos gets me this:
And the kudos counter did actually go up, so. Yay for that? Hidden away from where the stolen fic is actually posted, is a way to leave kudos. While another ad scrolls along the bottom of the screen obviously.
Hopefully this clears up further why this app is shady and exploitative, and also gives a bit more info to stop the curious people from downloading to give it a look. That ad revenue isn't going to taste less sweet because it's from outrage downloading. I'm uninstalling it right now and won't be going back.
@bearpluscat @bmarvels @nalufever @impracticaldemon @todorokitops @inunanna @keichanz @mushi9 @rayhneatess @rayreeanne @rosechi @phoneboxfairy @millennial-star-gazer @thewritingstar @mautrino just a few of the names I searched and found in case you guys aren’t aware you’re AO3 stuff is on this site. Every AO3 writer who has open to public works is vulnerable I found mine too and I’m sure there’s plenty if you wanna let other friends know.
Ao3 is trying to get the app taken down but I’d encourage reporting the fraud as well to bolster the claim on iTunes or android. They also have a blog here in tumblr called @unofficialao3app
@petri808
Thank you for bringing this to my and other people's attention. For the search too. I ended up temporarily downloading the daam. app and conducting my own search which yielded the results(seen above) (. Gotta say I'm not too pleased either. I'm going to report the app and spread the word. I'm glad a03 is taking proactive measures to have the app removed. Don't get me wrong i'mall for an official, authorized app but it's best left in the hands of competent developers affiliated with the site. Oh and I reported the blog to Tumblr in case anyone is wondering.
@rougescribe @acidrain1698 @bmarvels @doginshoe @nalufever @keyvan-firedrake @soprana-snap @kaycha1989 @wildrhov
I know I’m on there. Looks like they basically took/hacked AO3 in my opinion as it seems they have it copied pretty closely. So if you think someone may be there, bet you they are.
Spread the awareness for everyone and help each other out. Let’s report the fucks everywhere.
AO3 response
Happy Birthday Izuku!! (late, but well)
The design of Deku fem belongs to: @silverstar07 on Twitter.
THIS IS MY CROWNING JEWEL. A PIECE I LOVE SO MUCH, THAT I SONT EVEN CARE IF EVERYONE HATES IT.
the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)
#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin, I’d like to—“
“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”
“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.
“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless. Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health. The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.
I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Attachments FTW.
God, YES
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
I am so sorry this ate my brain and then things ran away from me. I AM SORRY. So. Anakin leads an army to retrieve his children and it’s this twisted version of everything Sidious ever wanted and he’s prepared for that.
But Sidious always underestimates how love changes things. And while he’s prepared to fight Anakin’s devoted army of former crechelings, he underestimates how that’s changed the rest of the Order.
Because Obi-Wan is quieter about whom and how he loves but doesn’t make it any less strong. When Obi-Wan loves someone it is unconditional and unyielding and he has never loved anyone as much as he loves Anakin Skywalker. Then the twins are born and Anakin is bashfully about it but he’s not ashamed and of course Obi-Wan has to know, he can’t imagine Obi-Wan not knowing his children (Obi-Wan totally already knows, he has been rolling his eyes about this for months and waiting for Anakin to come to him so he doesn’t spook him or for Padme to knock some freaking sense into him, which she does, because not-dying Padme is scary post-pregnancy and not willing to deal with the stupid anymore) and then Padme hands him Leia and everything stutters to a halt for a moment because oh, oh no, Anakin has found him another padawan.
There is no one Obi-Wan will ever love as fiercely as Anakin, except for Anakin’s children, who may as well be his own children. And he knows from the moment he first holds her that Leia will be the greatest Jedi he ever has a hand in raising.
(It becomes a joke among the Knights and Masters at the temple after the Skywalker twins arrive. If you even think that you might like to take Leia as your padawan, you can feel Obi-Wan glare at you no matter where he is in the galaxy.)
And when Sidious kidnaps Anakin’s children – his future padawan – Obi-Wan is the only Jedi in the galaxy who can put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and say we need a distraction to do this safely, trust me to bring them home for you. Anakin will lead the frontal assault and tear down all of Sidious’ carefully constructed plans. Obi-Wan will sneak in and safeguard their children and bring them home.
That’s the plan, anyway.
Here’s what none of them expected:
When Luke Skywalker came screaming and red-faced into the world, an ancient, meddling, troll of a Jedi Master who had vowed never to take another padawan felt it and thought: fuck.
Whereas Leia is, even as a child, stubborn and willful and silk hiding steel, Luke is twin balls of sunshine. Raised among Jedi, he is so bright a presence it hurts. Even raised among Jedi, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has absolutely no guile and he pouts when the cafeteria doesn’t serve his favourite dessert but will cheerfully walk across the room and give it to someone else if he senses that person is still hungry. The first time Luke sees Yoda he stares at him, all big blue eyes and pudgy baby hands, then grabs his ears and won’t let go. Everyone is horrified. Yoda harrumphs at him and tell him, “Patience, young one.” He toddles after Yoda from the time he can crawl and no matter how grouchy Yoda seems he never actively dissuades him from it.
After the twins enter the temple, Anakin always knows not to worry if Luke is missing from the crèche. Yoda will escort him back sooner or later.
(He’s always much more worried when Leia disappears because, yes, Obi-Wan will bring her back but they’ll have always gotten into trouble in the meantime.)
Yoda does not confront Darth Sidious. Yoda does not lose his duel with the Sith lord and become diminished because of it. Yoda is with Obi-Wan, sneaking into his stronghold to see the twins safe. Yoda cannot go Sith hunting when Luke is in pain and gently clinging to him, his arms around his neck, bruised and bleeding and smiled at Yoda when he saw him because Luke knew he would come.
(Sidious cannot win, with them. Leia would risk her home being obliterated rather than betray her righteous cause. Luke would willingly walk into flames rather than give up on those he loves. It hurts, oh it hurts, to see the other in pain, but Leia can watch Luke being hurt and know there are more important things at stake than the two of them and Luke can watch Leia being hurt and trust that they will be saved.)
Sidious escapes but his Empire falls before it solidifies. He will never be as powerful as he needs to be.
(It’s Anakin who notices there is something wrong with the clones. He’s not their General but Obi-Wan is and Obi-Wan is a good general. When Obi-Wan is hurt, they’re all nosey and worried and Anakin – all but glued to his former Master’s bedside when it’s really bad and first and foremost a mechanic – can tell that something is wrong. He’s not always with them so it never becomes familiar, it never becomes normal, and it niggles at the back of his brain until he’s sitting in front of Obi-Wan’s bacta tank – old training bond humming between them because Obi-Wan hates drugs and hates being sedated and he stays quieter and heals faster if Anakin is there to keep him calm – and Rex walks in to check on the General and Anakin turns around to look at him and he sees it.
The Jedi Order quietly deprograms the clone army. They trace the chip back to Palpatine. Padme and Bail Organa and Mon Mothma start quietly amassing information against him and his allies – enough for criminal charges, pushing Sidious to show his hand and try to kidnap the twins.)
Obi-Wan takes Leia as his Padawan the second she’s old enough for it to be proper. They are scarily well matched. If he was the Jedi’s best hope to keep planets from succeeding during the war, together they can talk whole systems into rejoining the rebuilding Republic.
Yoda leaves Luke in the crèche until the day before his thirteenth birthday. Everyone is worried except Luke (who knows he is meant to be a Jedi and knows Master Yoda is meant to teach him and trusts this, since he was raised in the Temple. It’s easier to have faith when you’ve always had it and it’s never been wrong). Fourteen Jedi have tried to ask him to be their apprentice. Yoda bashed twelve of them over the head with his stick before they could and Luke turned two down himself, the last three days before his birthday. He spends his last day as a twelve-year old following his dad around, both of them a little clingier than usual. Anakin has always thought that Yoda intended to take Luke as his Padawan but he’s literally hours from aging out and he’s seriously considering comming Ashoka and begging her to come act as backup, when Luke suddenly hugs Anakin hard and quick and Anakin looks over and sees Yoda waiting in the doorway.
Anakin hugs Luke back very, very tightly and then he lets him go. Luke already has his few things packed and waiting. Yoda harrumphs at him. “Ready, you are, padawan mine?”
Luke’s smile is blinding. “Yes, Master.”
Leia talks star systems into rejoining the Republic. Luke returns the Fallen to the Jedi. Dooku is the first and most fleeting (having not been killed by Anakin) – having been betrayed and split from Sidious – Luke finds him when he’s dying and gets Yoda to him in time for him to pass them information on Sidious’ new schemes and die a Jedi, with his old master at his side. There are others, after that, who Fell during the war and didn’t think they could ever return from it. Luke, bright and shiny and full of faith, sees them, thinks, I can fix this, and brings them home one by one.
After the second Return, which is unavoidably public, Leia and Obi-Wan look at each other and enlist everyone they can to begin working to make Luke the new poster boy for the Order. Luke is intensely embarrassed by this and a bit bumbling and shy about it, which just makes it more attractive to everyone. It also keeps the spotlight well away from their rebuilding efforts, which are way easier when there’s less press exposure.
Sidious, who would still like to capture and corrupt the twins, eventually stops trying with Luke because there’s only a 50/50 anyone he sends after him will come back and between years of Yoda’s training (ie dodging his stick), Luke’s innate Force sense and his dumb luck he’s practically impossible to kill.
(Sidious dies ignobly at the hands of a new apprentice, one of the Fallen who Luke has been trying to save. His defeat was always going to be someone else’s redemption.)
#I HAVE SO MANY FEELS ABOUT THIS META#GUYS#LUKE GETTING TO BE YODA’S PADAWAN PROPERLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY#OBI-WAN AND LEIA ARE A DREAM TEAM#THEY ARE FRIGHTENING TOGETHER#PADME IS SO PROUD#LUKE IS A LITTLE BALL OF WHINY SUNSHINE AND YODA JUST DELIGHTS HIM#MACE LAUGHS AT YODA FOREVER ABOUT IT#UNTIL BEN FUCKING SOLO COMES ALONG AND MACE IS ALL MOTHERFUCKER#I AM ALSO GOING TO HAVE TO WRITE THAT PIECE OF META BECAUSE BEN AS MACE WINDU’S PADAWAN ARGH#I WANT TO WRITE ALL THE STORIES IN THIS VERSE (via dreamer-wisher-liar)
You people need to tag me when you write, I keep missing good stuff like above!
Oh GOSH!
Everyone predicted Leia would eventually leave the order to follow in her mother’s footsteps but the SCANDAL that erupted when she married a former smuggler had the gossip rags going for years. Because circumstances sometimes change, but the Force will always find a way for certain absolutes. They have one son, and adopt several wayward young people along the way.
Anakin is delighted by his grandson for all that he’s sad that he couldn’t share him with Obi-Wan, who passed just before he was born. Ben would follow his grandfather around like a baby duck and hated sharing him with the other younglings. He’d get so angry when he felt Anakin was giving the other children more attention than him. Anakin would gently explain that he couldn’t play favorites, but Ben would still react with anger and find a place to pout alone.
He is five when he finds a nice secluded spot in the gardens, barely visible from the main path. A fountain sits in the center and Ben lets out his frustration by throwing small stones into it. He doesn’t notice Mace until he sits down right next to him and says “I like to come here too, when I’m angry.”
Ben is startled at first. Though he’s still small and largely untrained, no one has ever really snuck up on him before. He’s also never heard a master admit to being angry before. When questioned, Mace answers that everyone gets angry sometimes. The Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the control of it. He brings Ben back to Anakin, who apologizes to the aging master for troubling him, but Mace dismisses the apology and tells him it was no trouble at all. Anakin glances sideways at Mace; they don’t always agree on things, but he can’t help but smile. It has been decades since Master Windu last took a padawan.
As Ben grows older he excels in his lessons. He’s smart, persistent, and so, so powerful in the Force. He’s the very top of his class, and the only one who has yet to be chosen by a master. He still goes to the fountain when he finds himself at war with his emotions. Usually he meditates alone for a while until he is able to calm down, but sometimes, when he feels particularly lost, Master Windu will show up. At these times Ben will often ask for advice, but sometimes they will simply sit together in silence.
Ben is desperate the day before he turns 13. He doesn’t understand how he could work so hard and not be noticed by a single master in the entire temple (which isn’t true, nearly everyone knows Ben Solo and can feel the pull of the Force around him. They also know they were not meant to guide him). He almost, almost comms his uncle and begs to take him as his padawan, but ultimately doesn’t because he knows how Luke follows the Force and if he were going to take him, he would have a long time ago. (Luke is busy anyway; a small girl in the outer rim is about to turn 3.)
He goes out to the fountain to watch the sun set. The next day he’ll go before the Council of Reassignment to be placed into a division of the Jedi Service Corps. He supposes it wouldn’t be so bad to be placed into the Exploration Corps, he’d see much of the galaxy that way. He sits and plans and wills himself to not cry. After all, the Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the mastery of it.
Master Windu is still able to sneak up on him even though he’s doing so with a cane these days. Ben once held the hope that maybe the old master would take him as a padawan, but everyone knows Mace doesn’t take padawans anymore. His work on the Council is too important and he can’t give his precious time to a student, no matter what sort of strange bond has formed between them over the years. They sit for a moment before Ben breaks the silence. “What do you think my chances are of being assigned to the Exploration Corps?”
Mace seems to ponder the question for a moment. “Your scores in xenolinguistics is very high. You’ve also done very well in your survival field tests. You’d be a credit to the ExplorCorps.” He pauses for a moment. “Is that what you want to to do?”
Ben doesn’t give a straight answer, “It’s an honor,” he swallows the lump in his throat, “to be a part of the Service Corps.”
Mace sighs. “For someone who feels the Force so acutely, you have so little faith in it.” Ben winces. “Your patience leaves a lot to be desired. And you never really let go of anything.”
Ben is shaking. Of course. It doesn’t matter how well he does in his studies when the fundamentals of the ways of the Force is where he has always failed. He could never be a true Jedi. But it feels like the rawest betrayal when Mace says, “You can’t go into the Exploration Corps, Ben. Being left to drift through the galaxy unguided would be disastrous for you. You’d be very susceptible to the Dark Side if left alone.”
Ben’s eyes feel wet. He knows that too, though he’s never confessed to any of the masters about it. He was stupid to think he could hide it, though. The masters probably felt the Dark Side around him and rejected him outright. A bitter voice inside him resents them for dragging it out for so long.
Then he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m not afraid of the Dark, Ben. And you shouldn’t be either.” In spite of Master Windu’s gentle tone, Ben can’t bare to look at him. “Self mastery is a life long pursuit that no one ever really accomplishes. You have to take it day by day, even I’m still learning. You have everything you need, you just have to remember that it is a choice you must make and commit to every day.”
Ben sniffs. “Yes, Master.” But when Ben looks up at Mace, he doesn’t see the cold face of a stern teacher or the disappointment of an unsatisfied elder. He doesn’t even see the sympathy that everyone has been directing towards him as he got closer and closer to his 13th birthday. Instead there is warmth and fondness.
“However,” he continues, “it’s not a path you need to travel alone. At least not at first… if you’ll have me as your master.”
Ben lunges at Mace and hugs him tight. “Do you really mean it?”
Mace huffs a short laugh and ruffles the boy’s hair. “I’m too old to say things I don’t mean.” He pulls away. “But Ben, are you sure? I’m not the easier teacher.”
Finally able to hope again, Ben gives his master (his master!) a grin. “I’m not the easiest student!”
Mace gives an actual laugh at that. “Good!” He pulls himself up. “Alright, lets go make it official. I know that grand-daddy of yours is dying to start gloating like the gossiping old hen he is.”
@inkalypse
Beautiful
No one’s quite sure where the little boy originally came from. He was found in a far-off system on a small icy planet, their names erased and replaced by code numbers, in a facility run by former followers of the late, unlamented Sheev Palpatine.
Most of the children were adopted out, but this one boy wasn’t. The reviewers found him to be strong in the Force, but some of the Council were worried about him - he was easily distracted, because he was constantly afraid of what was going to happen to him.
That first night, he lay in his bunk, in greater luxury than he’d had at Starkiller Base, and cried in terror after lights out. It was the first time he’d been alone in a room for, as far as he could remember, his entire life. He was alone, and terrified, and wondered what he’d done to be punished like this.
The door slid open, and the Training Master looked in. “Excuse me,” Anakin Skywalker, aged but smiling, looked in. “I sensed you in the Force. What’s wrong?”
The boy, who had been FN-2187, and named Finn, curled up. “’m scared.”
Anakin entered the room, closing the door, and sat down on the floor. He drew on the floor for strength and relief in his creaky joints, and smiled the smile that fifty years of younglings had learned to trust. “It’s okay. It can be scary.”
“Jedi don’t get scared.”
Anakin laughed, softly. “Oh, no, we do. But it’s not being scared that’s important. It’s what you do when you’re scared. A Jedi knows how to focus past the fear, and what fear does to you, and listen to the Force. Let me show you.” And in that moment, Anakin hears the voices of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn and Mace Windu and Yoda in his mind, all of them saying the same thing: “There you go again, Anakin.”
When Finn is thirteen, he becomes Anakin’s padawan, because of course he would, after Anakin’s first lesson, and then his time teaching that first meditation exercise to the new younglings, helping them the way he was helped, showing the compassion that was at his core. If Anakin is Dad, now they have their big brother Finn, who knows how scary it was and how one good moment can help you feel not so alone, not so scared, and how to find where you fit in.
When the time comes that Anakin must step down from active duty because he’s too old, too frail, to keep going, Finn is gobsmacked to be told he will take Anakin’s place.
And he always, always, has a bit of candy hidden in his belt, because he knows a dozen ways to calm a crying child and believes a little bit of candy is a good distraction while he figures out the best one.
And to the next generation of Jedi, Finn is the one they call “Dad”.
This is mesmerizing to watch.
actually physically painful to watch because you know months were spent masking all those frames for each of the kajillions of transitions in this
Holy………..shmokes…….
Oh?? My god??
I’ll try my best to describe this. It’s a video with a mash-up of a bunch of different Disney movies, set to a song that’s a mash-up of a bunch of other songs. That in and of itself wouldn’t make it praiseworthy, but this is DONE SO WELL that just, holy cow.
HOLY SHIT
Brilliant!
This is the thing I made a speedpaint of, even if it is not completed HERE
Danny Fenton (supernatural being and half time hero) meets local paranormal investigators Dipper and Mabel Pines and is immediately worried for the safety of these two kids!! They are normal non powered humans that go against things that crawl in the night!! Who lets them go around doing this kind of stuff without supervision?? Is this how Jazz felt when he started going out as Phatom?? Because it sucks!!
Dipper in that first pic is seriously considering exorcising this man, half living human or not.
Danny is just the annoying mom friend that is totally not feeling super old when he goes around trying to protect these kids from themselves.
Mabel is just chill about everything, I mean she knows how to deal with this kind of stuff, and if not she can always try to punch them in the face!
The Pines twins in their teen years. Perfect depiction of how I think they would look like. Dipper with the shotgun is badass.
LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE
This is the best thing I have ever seen
@klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?
Dam it it got better
S T O P
@klubbhead
Do Darth Maul next!
This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.
Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol
Yoda gotta be raisin bread.
ENOUGH
NO
😬
do grand moff tarkin.
The last one got me.
Can somebody to Han
IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER
Oh my gosh this is getting out of hand
That last one is perfection. Let it end here.
And the porgs? ;)
FUCK YOU!!!!
Jesus Christ. It’s almost at 1million notes lol.
This whole post is amazing. A legacy has been born.
All my favorite foods.
OMG
Do any other autistic people feel like they use too many words?
My introductory paragraph for my essay was half a page long so…yes
I'm quite the opposite. I think I use too few words most of the time. But when I got inspiration, then there is no enough time to write down everything in my head.
When I saw this I laughed so hard I actually fell to the floor.
I just found out that I have roaches in my bedroom cause I haven’t cleaned it in a long time how do you clean your room when you’re constantly not feeling able to do it???? Help???
this looks like a good resource to help! i also struggle with this, so ur definitely not alone (im just lucky roaches dont really live in my country). full disclosure: i have not read the entire link - my brain has given up on reading for today
I have a similar problem. My mother some day decided, my clothes needs more hanging space, so she unpacked one of my closet I used to store my equipments, parts, on going projects and tools in a really neet, organised way. She put everything on the floor in my room. This was half a year ago, and my stuffs are still there in absolute chaos.
Today's dinner after the hot-spring with my family.
autism problem #1098
“That’s ridiculous you can’t possibly hear that”
Well guess what? I can.
I can hear the watch ticking on the wrist of the people standing next to me. But I like the sound of mechanical watches. Althought the ticking of quartz watches are really annoying.
