Anastasia (1997), dir. Don Bluth & Gary Goldman
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@life-et-lies
Anastasia (1997), dir. Don Bluth & Gary Goldman
i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon
like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like
her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”
me, meowing back: “tax benefits”
her, meowing: “why do u always do this”
cats actually have a human-specific language. cats don’t often meow at each other and seem to use subvocal communications that humans can’t hear to chat cat-to-cat. however, cats seem to use what humans would call “shout-until-you’re-understood” to speak to humans. so basically, it’s more like:
“I’M GLAD YOU’RE HOME!”
“tax benefits”
“NO, I’M GLAD YOU ARE HOME”
“waffle iron”
“IT’S OKAY. I LOVE YOU TOO, MY DUMB HUMAN”
The domestic house cat’s wild ancestors have a much harsher voice, too. The going theory is that early cats mimicked human infants which tripped humans’ nurturing instincts, and then selective breeding did the rest.
We make a big deal over how dogs have developed the ability to understand human expressions and tones (and let’s be fair, that is in fact awesome), but cats are possibly the only species that has changed their vocal language to try to communicate with us.
what I love about this post (apart from cats because cats are ADORABLE) is the assumption that cats have words for tax benefits.
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”
I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
“THANK YOU”
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.
My aunt was a kindergarten teacher and when she was trying to gather everyone at a family reunion for prayer she called “One two three, eyes on me” and then exclaimed “oh! It works on adults!”
Goalkeepers’ balls get photoshopped into cats.
This is so natural. Like i didn’t question it
I was just like “oh cats on the pitch”
Image prompt
“Gary, I realize it’s your first day, but we do have a dress code.”
I literally can’t tell who is talking to who, and I don’t want to change that for a second.
this felt important enough to share
(Fact Source) for more facts, follow Ultrafacts
reblogging for the art
Well that.is awesome.
why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”
everyone in college is eccentric. everyone
you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you
everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette
multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!
wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm
no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere
big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you
the girl in pyjamas is the vampire
Also:
If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous
“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone
Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”
It would take u like 100 years to major in everything
Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot
Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u
College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature
Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler
If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major
Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.
two roommates. one is a victorian goth who knows thousands of edwardian poems about death and carries a vintage umbrella and only goes out at night
the other wears sweetpants and is a vampire
Finding that one fic on AO3 that hits all your kinks, written well, in character, with all the specs you were looking for
Reblog this to find your perfect fic in the next 24 hours.
This is one chain meme I’m willing to chance.
I’m rebloging this a writer in the hopes that one of my fics ticked all of the boxes for some one out there
Owls are masters of disguise, blending seamlessly into their surroundings.
These trees appear to be judging me.
There’s no owl in that 6th pic
sneaky
Holy shit
thank you cause i was sholl looking for it 😭
it’s like Where’s Wally but with birbs and i would buy an entire book of it
@xxm0rt
The freedom of speech being taken away by an official member of the government
If anyone was curious on how to contact his office
when a woman designs an outfit for women VS when men are allowed to do it
Stop letting men do things 2k18
Never not reblogging
Best post ever
Ariana Grande is darkening her skin and changing her features to look Racially Ambiguous to sell to a wider audience and it needs to be addressed
Black people, who invented hip-hop, jazz, and rock and roll, have long been tastemakers of American cool. In many ways, fashion, music, and slang are dictated by black people no matter how little credit they get for it..
In fact:
“Our research shows that black consumer choices have a ‘cool factor’ that has created a halo effect, influencing not just consumers of color but the mainstream as well,” said Cheryl Grace, senior vice president of U.S. Strategic Community Alliances and Consumer Engagement, Nielsen.
Thus, presumably, if you want to be cool and sell records, you ought to start acting black. In fact, it’s great if you’re not black and act black because you get the benefits of being cool without the baggage and limitations of being subjected to racism.
Its what the Kardashians, Iggy, Justin Bieber, Ariana, and alot of other celebrities do in order to rise in popularity as well as be accepted into the black community.
Grande’s music is largely influenced by hip-hop and R&B, meaning that in order to build a fanbase, she needs to court listeners (ahem, black folk) with those musical preferences. Grande, who is quick to shut down any perceptions about her ethnicity being anything but Italian. Most people presume Grande is Latinx, not necessarily black, when mistaking her race, but I am here to tell you, most Latinos are part black, sis.
Thus, for years, Latinx women have been sounding the alarm: Grande is doing brown face. Look at her tan!! Look at how she speaks! Look at her music!
The point is: Most of us don’t get to pick and choose which parts of blackness we get to have — only white folks seem to have that luxury. And we need to give her the SAME ENERGY we give the kardashians.
Source
#StayWoke
For the longest time I thought she was Latina lmao
Damn, thought she was Latina ..smh
These are hilarious 😂
me when i get a New Interest™️ that i’m excited to share with everyone:
my long-suffering friends and followers:
i love this and feel very called out at the same time
Gonna reblog this every time it pops up on my dashboard.
👏👏👏👏
Let me tell you about my experience with a Samoyed. We were living in our first apartment, which was a ground floor flat with a non-fenced patio. Our cat Fancy was allowed to go outside and sleep in the sun, while supervised and also on a leash.
The neighbors next door had a Samoyed, who was also tied up outside of their patio. He saw Fancy and got SO EXCITED that he pulled up the stake that his leash was attached to and bounded over to MEET THE KITTY.
Fancy. Turned into a HISSING, SPITTING BALL OF FLYING DEATH. She leapt on the dog’s back, clawing and biting and snarling, but not actually getting past the fur.
The dog was vibrating with how happy he was because New Friend was Playing With Him. Fancy was trying to murdilate the fuck out of the giant amiable marshmallow dog. Then the neighbor came running over “OH MY GOD YOUR POOR KITTY”.
That is my experience with a Samoyed. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Oh, and here’s Fancy for reference:
This story. Never gets old