Hello User

I'm a real person

[poupon]

Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick

Dude come on

[unalivejournal]

[loccorocco]

Was riding a provincial bus with my friend. The bus braked hard, and she caught me by the forehead. It was a meaty smack

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[crabussy]

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

[crabussy]

wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding

[crabussy]

this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm so so so angry. in Horsey Game, I found a wild legless horse, cloned it repeatedly, and mass-sold the clones to all my rival ranches to pollute their gene pools. and when my plan finally reached fruition.....when at last, I came into a race where every opponent had no legs.......my stupid fucking horse fell over.

[animals-riding-animals]

frog riding fish

[deertwoheads]

I'll take your word for it man

[estrogirlie]

cis coworker: hey can i ask you something personal

[thoodleoo]

the joy of working with middle school aged children is that, regardless of how long you've been doing it, they will always find novel ways to annoy and confuse you, which is okay because that's the natural state of the middle school aged child. anyway suffice it to say that for the past three weeks of school my 6th grade class has been greeting me at my door by lining up outside of it, playing the national anthem, and saluting me as i walk in.

[jouster-ari]

What they're doing to you:

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[piendish]

got my beak in the mail i am so so so excited to break open nuts and seeds

[sophiesalacia]

piendish, you ordered the wrong beak..... this beak is for eating bugs out of holes. you're🫵 a freaky little bug eater now...

[piendish]

okay charles dorkwin

[sovietnam]

[thickness-protection-program]

Hold on I gotta try something brb

[thickness-protection-program]

👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿bad👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿

[dailycatsblog]

[grillmasterxbbq]

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

[worldbuilding-tomfoolery]

yet another massive w for water, the greatest fluid in the universe

[thezenzone]

[boybrdr-deactivated20230204]

sopranos episode 1

[dechtir]

[transmechanicus]