Charlie

30 | UK | Still here on the world’s greatest website

[babyjanedough]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[isuckattechnology]

Audio:

Erika, referencing ebenezer scrooge: You, boy! What day is it?!

Brennan, as a young boy: It's Pride, bitch!

[my-dailydreams]

[wizardshark]

hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.

[depeshemode]

at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville rn and i’m wondering why more musicians don’t have their own restaurants. i would eat at Trent Reznor’s Tavern of Terror

[myfriendgoo94]

I wanna feed you like an animal

I wanna serve you lots of french fries

[bobacupcake]

leylines burger

[zmpl]

the most evil person alive would like to start their career in mental health

[tamamita]

We can do this

[tenfingers-elevenpies]

it will literally get ripped apart

[tamamita]

It literally will not, trust me

[mnemonicpneumaticknife]

the thing that will have to be planned for is both tectonic movement and the expansion and contraction of the bridge sections. That is why this bridge will need to have a bunch of ramps and gaps between sections that every vehicle going across will get to do sick jumps off of.

This will also prevent traffic from slowing down. "minimum speed to make next jump: 120 km/h" signs will encourage everyone to go fast, even if the engineers are being a little conservative for safety reasons.

[tamamita]

it will work because we are pure of heart

[kragehund-est]

everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.

[greenlabcoat]

can you let me in pleeeeeaase. i promise i wont use my raptorial limbs to attack and kill you

[greenflower21]

Heathclifffffff it’s meeeee Cathyyyyyyy I’ve come home I’m so coooooooooold let me in your windowwwwwwwww

[tlirsgender]

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

[tlirsgender]

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

[tlirsgender]

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

[pixelartpeach]

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

[bonesbeetle]

can see the pores on that thang

[crow-with-a-pencil]

Reblog to give a trans person a shockingly high resolution mango

[glittergluekintsugi]

target audience reached (me)

[valtsv]

visiting the paris catacombs today and my mom messaged me saying "make sure you check the weather forecast before you go" . in the catacombs?

[valtsv]

[catboybiologist]

Being a fish in highly oxygenated water must feel so fucking good

[catboybiologist]

I see the waves swirling around the intertidal zone, leaving behind trails of dissolved bubbles and I'm like fuck yeah some blenny in there is just going hnnnggg

[catboybiologist]

What if you were a golden trout in a mountain stream. What if you faced the flow of the water and the swirling bubbles, like crystalline drops, ran against your gills. What if you took the deepest, cleanest, most pure breathes by running in place. Imagine.

[animentality]

[cutekittenlady]

This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I'm reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.

[cuprohastes]

My father was a magician and a clown. When he died, we cleared out his old clotehs and there was his clown suit.

"Oh I'll take this down to the charity shop" said my mother, missing hte part where no sane person is going to wear a clown suit.

"Nah" said I, "Have them dress him in it when they cremate him."

There was a pause and my throw-away joke started to slowly solidify into 'Yeah let's do that'.

A discussion was had with the mortician who had a bit of a worry that the costume would involve giant clown shoes which would prevent the coffin closing.

Luckily it wasn't that sort of outfit.

I told this to my dear friend who immediately envisaged someone trying to close a coffin onto a dead clown, only to have the big red nose go *Sad honk* every time there was an attempt to close the lid.

The awful hilarity rendered her incapable of standing.

[whumpster-fire]

The poor mortician can't figure out why it still won't close, and has to remove 5 dead clowns from the coffin before it finally shuts.

[goth-princess-gwennie]

The idea of listening to no black music is bizarre to me. Even if it's not rap like no earth wind and fire? No reggae? No moonstomp? No ska? No classic jazz? No R and B? No disco??? No skindred? No jungle? No even like metal bands with a few black members? No gospel? Not even stuff like alors en dance? No blues music? No mo town? No jazz of any kind? No big band? No soul music? Not even a little James Brown?

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[1988-fiend]

@onbearfeet

[onbearfeet]

COME ON, BEARS!!!!

[maxknightley]

has anyone noticed that working for a living sucks ass