loser lesbian™

21yo lesbian makes playlists for every specific mood before wondering if she's ok

[loser-lesbian-tm]

༘Pride & Prejudice Aestheticsྀ࿐

I love you. Most ardently.

[leaveamessage]

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)

[rainbow-femme]

“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”

[ilya-sweetheart]

I crave more fics where shane Spells It Out about how he and ilya hid for years. i need his parents and hayden crying about it.

On his real estate career:

“i had to buy a whole other house i pretended to live in just so people wouldn’t guess we were secretly together. imagine if you had to do that with jackie”

On why it’s so important everyone knows they’re married:

“i’m almost thirty and my whole career i couldn’t have my parter being my next of kin, emergency contact, or power of attorney. instead it was my mum like i’m still a child”

On why he loves spending his time with ilya:

“did you know that in the ten years we’ve been together we’ve never even had breakfast together. everything we had was rushed, clandestine, kept under wraps so we didn’t loose our livelihoods and reputation”

Bonus Ilya explaining the russia of it all

“my father was high ranking military officer. my brother is police. we have connections in high places…it would be an embarrassment, for many people if my sexuality is out. probably they will not put me on trial, i am too famous, but they would make me disappear. block my bank accounts, revoke my passport. make me no longer citizen of russia. make me no one”

[auracobaltblue]

Will Byers is a NERD. He likes science. He canonically knows how to speak morse code. He and the party participated and won science fairs and were part of the AV club. Will Byers is SO smart. He is SO wise. Will Byers has big opinions about his interests and can talk about them forever. Will Byers has favourite artists he looks up to and admires. Will Byers is a cinephile and an audiophile. Will Byers is a collector. Will Byers is SO strong and SO kind. Yeah.

[deletiaclementine]

Ilya, in a Hawaiian shirt that makes him feel stupid, terrified Shane is secretly engaged to a literal movie star, on the knife edge of elation and despair: so how’s your girlfriend

Shane, on a mission, already forgot he was informed he was gay five minutes ago, half bricked up and ready to rub it on his man: who?

[stilinscute]

Shane’s ideal birthday: just wants to be fucked six ways to Sunday, wants to spend literal hours in subspace, begs Ilya to let him cockwarm him, passes out at the end of the day sore and used and blissful.

Ilya’s ideal birthday: Shane takes him to the zoo, buys him a plushie from the gift shop, and Ilya cries when they visit the penguin exhibit. and THEN he gets to edge Shane until he’s a whimpering mess.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya is definitely anya’s favorite, no doubt, if he’s at home she’s glued to his side, following him everywhere like his little shadow, but when it comes to walks? she wants shane, cus shane is always running and she loves to run. sometimes he even takes her on hikes and she goes absolutely crazy for it. she’s an adventurous girl for sure. and ilya walks is really just walk and he thinks anya likes to stop and smell everything around. so one day ilya’s going to take her for a walk. he puts her leash on and anya just takes it right out of his hand with her mouth, walks over to shane’s feet, drops it and lets out a little bark and ilya just stands there with his hands on his chest “i can’t believe this betrayal” and shane is cackling so hard he can barely breathe as he picks up the leash and goes “well i guess i’m the official walker now, let’s go girl” and just walks out the door with anya wagging her tail while ilya stands there questioning all his life choices

[rachfic222]

✨ wyatt hayes ✨ my beloved ❤️❤️ may your pillow always be cold, your skin clear, your crops plentiful, etc etc etc

[whoreforlarrystuff]

This genre of Louis photo will always make me happy

[loser-lesbian-tm]

#kitten

[fleabagsversion]

“Shane was just being nice to Ilya when he told him they are equals, otherwise Shane knows he is the better player.”

You really think Shane Hollander would lie to his own partner like that? The Shane Hollander? The bitchiest player of all time? The three times Stanly Cup winner who gloated at Ilya when he won the skating competition against him by 0.5 seconds??

The same Shane Hollander would lie to Ilya about them being equals just to be nice to him??

Y’all, be serious.

He didn’t pause on getting fingered to tell Ilya, “it’s a tie”, for y’all to discredit him like that. And I would rather trust Shane’s judgment on this than anyone else’s.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

shane without the weight of the secrecy and carrying a whole team on his back is playing way better with the centaurs. and it’s insane, if everyone thought he was already the better player in the league, he’s now definitely on a whole new level. and he’s doing well in the second line, luca haas is a generational talent so he can keeping up with shane easily, better than when pike was his winger. and shane of course is always complimenting luca and staying after practice to train extra with him so both of them can become a deadly duo — not better than the hollanov power play of course, shane and ilya are basically one entity when they play together. and you always know when shane is hyping up luca cus baby boy is more red than the red of centaurs uniform. luca is in heaven, he can play with his idols and they think he’s good? oh baby boy is always giddy going to every practice. so yeah every team in the league is fucked

[honeyybrii]

shane effortlessly defying ilya's internal self deprecation with the most blunt, heartstopping, to the point sincerity is such an important part of their dynamic to me

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

[queenhaggis]

i could actually talk for hours about how important it is that shane proposed to ilya instead of the other way around because ilya needs to feel wanted and chosen unconditionally whereas shane needs to finally take control of his freedom and happiness with how he lives his own life

[dumbass-writer]

I think something that’s so fun is that I don’t believe that Canada exists so when I talk about Shane Hollander I need yall to understand that I’m doing this in the “Canada” in my head which is like mostly just a large forest with intermittent ice rinks for baby Shane to bob around on

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

[foolishmortal]

nobody:

Rosemary: LYESBYIAN