The Cactus Man Shall Live

He/him--Marcus P.--Bigender--Asexual--Panromantic San Josegay Sharks--VGK--Leafs Twitter:@mabelarus Pfp: mousedoodlesss

[shapeshiftersvt]

Binder Giveaways #77-#80: Climbing up and out

Happy Valentine’s, shapeshifters! We hope it was full of sweetness and a moment of peace. We took a few moments off to celebrate surviving the first big trials of 2019, and now we’re back and ready to roll out our next big giveaway. 

NOTE: Next month we will be changing the way we hold giveaways! Make sure to sign up for our email list to stay in the loop, or bookmark our store blog for another way to see them when they open. As we get busier and Tumblr becomes a less and less business-friendly and LGBT-friendly platform, we’re finding new and better ways to reach out to all of you.

Thank you so much, friends, for sticking with us through the changing times. Thank you for staying in touch, for connecting with us on other platforms, for spreading the word in a hundred different ways. Thank you always.

The four winners of this giveaway will each receive one $50 Shapeshifters crop top binder. (That’s your choice of these.) As always, shipping is free too!

Enter here. 

The fine print:

Entries from all countries are welcome.

There are three possible ways to enter. Doing any one of the listed actions will get you one entry. You do not have to do all three.

The winners will be randomly selected on **March 7th, 2019**.

One winner each will be selected from Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter; the last will be selected from the whole pool.

If any winner does not respond to email within three days, a new winner will be selected in their place.

Should any winner wish to purchase the difference, we will happily upgrade to any length and add any add-on.

[pissvortex]

america has a functioning democracy where one party tries to kill you and the only other party just campaigns around the fact that they aren’t the party that tries to kill you

[fuzzynecromancer]

That was a staggeringly concise and bleakly accurate assessment of US politics, pissvortex.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

me @ a random cat I met on a walk that wont come near me to let me pet her

[play-doh-slut]

i’ve had a realization and i’m sure it’s been done before but-

millennial depression:

vs

gen z depression:

[cpunks]

that weird group of teens who were born 1999-2003 all experienced millennial depression around age 12 and then currently experience gen z depression

[wizardelf]

ace awareness may be over but im still full of love n respect for my ace and aro siblings 

[catchymemes]

[pureslime-deactivated20191020]

one giant leap for goblinkind

[renrumm]

my home world

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

[kneelinggirl-deactivated2015042]

This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face.

[massivelimestonecube]

its time to bring back smooth regular

[womanthinking]

It’s almost three in the morning and I think I woke up everyone in my apartment building because I was laughing so hard.

[jen-iii]

Volume 6 is feeding me that good good Partner content I’ve been craving so ima do a set of these with my GIRLS

[gallusrostromegalus]

What parts of Canada are Wade Wilson and Logan actually from tho? This is an important part of Thier relationship that’s really overlooked.

Like, Thier canadianess in general is overlooked, but if Logan is supposed to be from NWT or something and Wade is from, IDK, Vancouver, there needs to be an inter-canadian smackdown.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Responses from The Canadians so far:

Logan: Multiple canon sources and Actual Canadians agree he’s from somewhere in northern Alberta, (Fox Lake and Cold Lake have both been cited)

Wade: True to form, there are multiple conflicting canons about which part of Canada Deapool is from, but all the Canadians agree that in order to get Like That ™, Wade Wilson is 100% definitely for certain from Winnepeg.

[tattoosandhairdye]

@veryleeyummy

[playinginthunderstorms]

*Winnipeg - a Winnipegger

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. I would like to apologise for the misspelling. I’ve got a reading disorder and didn’t realize my mistake until it was too late.

2. Everyone arguing about Regina is missing the point- that’s one of Deadpool’s many, many canons, all of which are valid but in our heart of hearts, he’s deffo from Winnipeg.

3. Who do I have to sacrifice a goat to to get art or a fic of Wade and Logan being Aggressively Canadian in front of LA Native Scott Lang, who has no idea what’s going on and has never actually seen snow IRL?

[renownedcurlerzachjimmermann]

[dexthorn]

hey i just got this horrifying mask at walmart today. i couldn’t help myself. im sorry. The impulse was too strong.

[snapscube]

did u buy it with money

[dexthorn]

i did, in fact, purchase it with money

[snapscube]

[dexthorn]

[valtsv]

[dajo42]

My friend insists Jodie Whittaker is the Fifteenth Doctor, but everything I see on Tumblr refers to her as the Thirteenth. Can you explain this to me?

okay these are all the doctors in chronological order in the current canon

everything was normal until John Hurt, who was a secret incarnation of The Doctor introduced retroactively in 2013

this incarnation didn’t call himself The Doctor during his life, because he didn’t feel like he lived up to the title

so despite Christopher Eccleston being the 10th incarnation of the Doctor, he was still referred to as The 9th Doctor

THEN

during one of David Tennant’s episodes, he gets shot by a dalek for the first time ever and is forced to regenerate, but decides not to change his face by siphoning the regeneration energy into his own disembodied hand which is a fucking long story

the short of it is that David Tennant regenerated into himself

so

David Tennant, known as the 10th Doctor, was actually the 11th and 12th incarnations of The Doctor, but was still known as the 10th Doctor for his whole tenure

so now we’re on Jodie Whittaker right

who

is known as the 13th doctor, because John Hurt wasn’t called The Doctor and David Tennant was still called the 10th Doctor even when he was the 11th and 12th

but technically she is the 15th incarnation of The Doctor and could just as easily be called the 15th Doctor

PUT SIMPLY,,,,,,,,,,,,

Jodie Whittaker plays the 15th incarnation of The Doctor, who has the 14th unique face of The Doctor, but is called the 13th Doctor because John Hurt and the David Tennant Two: The Re-Tennanting don’t count in the number order

i know it’s silly

but you’re both right

[ameliaglitter]

I don’t even watch Doctor Who anymore, but I live for the phrase, “David Tennant Two: The Re-Tennanting.”

[weloveshortvideos]

Well, that is one way to pass the time during a rain delay

[danthemedicman]

This is the quality content I live for

[filmsoundtracks-moved]

[britons-will-never-be-slaves]

When you didn’t study for the right test. OMG HIS FACE

[the-thrill-be-damned-deactivate]

today in “things i’m disproportionately emotional about”:

it’s facial reconstructions of prehistoric humans!!

like, look at this part-homo sapiens, part-neandertal man from well over 30,000 years ago:

doesn’t he just look like a dude you’d wanna hang out with? like he probably washes dishes in the kitchen with you, and has excellent weed

what a charming fellow. what stories he probably has to tell. i’d definitely go shoot the shit with him on Contemplation Rock after i’d finished my day’s work carving a bone flute for the autumn hunting ceremony, or whatever

people have been people ever since people first became people, i tell you what

they all had lives and histories and families and friends and dumb gossip and games they played and total bullshit in which they believed wholeheartedly

they all argued about the nature of the world, and of themselves

they all sang songs

they all drew pictures

they all buried their dead in graves, and they buried their dead in graves well before they did a lot of that other stuff. they buried their dead with flowers, with panther claws, with the bones of animals they’d killed, with the bones of family members who had died at the same time or earlier. they buried their dead with their arms folded across their chests

they fell in love

they took care of their old and their sick and their disabled, even when it cost them

they made new things, and worried about what the new things meant for people everywhere, as a whole

[creekfiend]

Oh I like him he looks like he would appreciate my jokes

[systlin]

This dude would have great stories at a get-together and would bring some really great homemade dip. 

[hungry-hungry-hobbit]

I feel like he really digs Lo-Fi Music

[kaijutegu]

This guy was sculpted by Alfons and Adrie Kennis, and their Neanderthal reconstructions are all delightful. 

I love the kid in the last picture a lot- they look like a kid, just a little kid who’s done some mischief and is trying not to laugh about it.

I also adore their Lucy- they’ve struck a wonderful balance between the falling angel and the rising ape.

And their Turkana boy- there’s something precious and wistful in those eyes. 

But my favorite has got to be their reconstruction of H. floresiensis.

Just look at her. That’s a face of someone who’s lived and seen a lot, but also a face that’s known love and joy and laughter. That’s a face with a soul. 

[cricketcat9]

They are all beautiful

What an amazing work, Kennis & Kennis!