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She/her

[maladi0401]

My latest life goal is to live each day like a drunk girl in the bathroom of a bar.

You, reading this! You’re amazing! You’re strong! You’re smart! I love your lip gloss! Don’t text your ex!

[penny-anna]

*at some kind of fancy event*

Shazam: *about to go in on the free wine*

Batman: *taking the glass out of his hand* No.

Shazam: aw

Rest of the Justice League: ???

[penny-anna]

Adult woman journalist: *flirting with Shazam*

Shazam: *flirting back*

Batman, physically towing him away: nope no absolutely not

[penny-anna]

Shazam: *finally gets ahold of a glass of wine & takes a sip*

Shazam: ...........

Shazam: *discreetly spits the wine back into the glass*

Flash, watching from across the room: ok what the fuck

[zorilleerrant]

Fourteen year old: *flirting with Shazam*

Shazam: *flirting back*

Several members of the Justice League: *staring in horror*

Batman, ignoring Nightwing’s laughter: I will. Have a talk with him.

[frostbittenbucky]

Diana: [steps in front of the 14-year-old and about to fist fight Shazam]

Batman: “maybe it’s time we tell them…”

[nyxthechaosdragon]

Diana: Shazam we require a vehicle of some sort

Shazam: The thing is, I don't exactly have a car

Flash: What?

Shazam: Or a license

Flash: Uhh

Shazam: Or a job

Flash: What??

Shazam: Or an alternate identity. Not in the ways you guys do.

Flash: ???

Shazam: I also don't do my taxes

[nerfherdingteleporter]

Flash, jumping to a conclusion: so uhhhh... do you have a place to sleep tonight? Is that a thing you need? Cause you can probably crash on my couch-

Batman, who wasn't there five seconds ago: if anyone's going to adopt Shazam, it will be me.

Shazam: aw, thanks! :) I don't need it, but thanks both of you for the offer!

Flash, ten hours later, wide awake in bed: okay but what SENSE did he mean "adopt" in, because I really don't like where this is going

[theotherstuffblog]

Yiexoudxuw YES @jackhawksmoor

[homunculus-argument]

To this day,

"if she's your girl then why is her leitmotif part of my theme" "to highlight the tragedy of how she'll never love you back"

is one of the most brutal pieces of play banter that I've read on this website. One of those shitposts that keep coming back to you. Damn.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[yurimartyr]

wait this is like 100 notes i thought it was like 100k

[yurimartyr]

GIRLLL IN 3 MINUTES THE NOTE COUNT DOUBLED THIS IS SCARY.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

if there's one thing this website loves it's watching someone shoot themself in the dick

[babtest]

went to an elementaryschool musical production and they started the show with the director saying: "Now there's some very small viewers here today, so just so you know. There will be a scary character later in the show. This is her," and a girl in a kinda scary ghost outfit did a creepy walk across the stage, the stood up straight and did a cheery wave, "but remember, it's just Nina. She's pretending to be scary."

Aaaand i would very much like for horror movies to have that as a little bonus feature you can chose. Let me start a movie with Guillermo del Toro showing me a scary ghost that might jump at me, but don't worry, thats just Doug!

[persianpenname]

[valtsv]

you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

[valtsv]

what the hell are you doing. stop that.

[oddity-txt]

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class

We’re bros

[oddity-txt]

I named him chicken nugget

[oddity-txt]

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

[oddity-txt]

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around

[oddity-txt]

update hes entirely yellow now

[oddity-txt]

i made him a tube room

hes crawlin all over the place checking it out

[oddity-txt]

its happening

[oddity-txt]

False alarm he moved a bit This guy

[oddity-txt]

??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna

[oddity-txt]

whats he doing

[oddity-txt]

its happening part 2 For Real This Time

[oddity-txt]

chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway

[oddity-txt]

i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

[oddity-txt]

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now

hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

[oddity-txt]

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now 🎉🐛🎉

[rebecca-lotto]

let me know how he’s doing soon

[oddity-txt]

HES BUSTIN OUT

[oddity-txt]

im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up

hope he doesnt party too hard 

🐛 💤 💤

[oddity-txt]

hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage

[oddity-txt]

CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!

[oddity-txt]

hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit

[oddity-txt]

this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang

[oddity-txt]

https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0

there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad

this was an incredible experience

(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)

[tarotsunset]

I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga.

[extraterrestrialsprobably]

Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget!

[magical-game]

I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget!

[frivolousphantasies]

do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget’s left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male

a gender role smashing icon

[krystal-prisms]

I wondered why the wings looked different

[decorativeskull]

Incredible

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

intersex icon

[oddity-txt]

He’s a bilateral gnandromorph!!

[sleepy-sphinx-deactivated202012]

WE STAN?????

[matthew-gubler-fangirl]

chicken nugget said intersex rights

[cowboybaedling]

This whole post is wonderful, but I think a lot of people don’t realise just how rare bilateral gynandromorphs are. Research has shown that only approximately 1 in 6,000 butterflies is a bilateral gynandromorph! So thanks so much @oddity-txt for sharing this wonderful being with us!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[shinypenguinpizza]

Absolutely blessed post

[reginasphalanges]

The Simpsons 08.19 | Grade School Confidential

[just-french-me-up]

"mmh did you know that creator you like also posts 🔞 content? did you know that? don't you think that's weird? don't you think we should keep this space-"

no. i don't.

i booked a front row seat to the devil's sacrament and you're blocking the view

just go back to the 1660 new england hole you just crawled out of and eat barley for a week to atone for your sins or whatever

[marithlizard]

" "I booked a front row seat to the devil's sacrament and you're blocking the view" is one banger of a thematic statement. Shirt material.

[beggars-opera]

Shirts that would literally do gangbusters in Salem during tourist season

[jijibeans]

So happy to have found my kin at DashCon 2.

[sabertoothwalrus]

do you think their cup size is triple G

*I am grabbed by security*

do you get it. Triple because there is three of them. And G for gandalf (huge naturals)

*I am being escorted away*

wait I’m not done. My Three Pipe Smoking Girlfriends

[literallymechanical]

It was the size of my hand 😭

[cipheramnesia]

I would bet it is a dobsonfly

[literallymechanical]

We're pretty sure it was either a dobsonfly or a fishfly. All I know for sure is I had to go back to the cabinet for a second cup to catch it because the first one was too small 😧

[cipheramnesia]

I've only ever come across dead ones, so seeing one alive sounds pretty amazing. They're pretty stealthy for an insect that looks like a Cronenberg movie effect.

[literallymechanical]

We opened the screen door for about two seconds and it just kind of. Flapped in. Like a bird. It had inertia. A hefty bug!!!!!!!

[literallymechanical]

@fishteriously and I had slightly different interpretations.

She's an evolutionary biology PhD, but I used one of my nephew's colored pencils which I think adds a certain je ne sais quois.

[cipheramnesia]

Fuzzy antennae would make me lean fishfly.

[literallymechanical]

Definitely a fishfly.

And also. Okay. I love and respect all of darwin's creatures and I would never harm such a beautiful beast but. Ithink bugs should not be allowed to eat vertebrates. I simply think a bug should not be big enough to catch and eat a vertebrate

[cipheramnesia]

Oh, ohhh, don't look up centipedes.

[literallymechanical]

Don't worry I won't

Anyway the Bug Incident was illustrated and taped to the fridge, thanks to @fishteriously and some watercolors we found. What a great bug.

[cipheramnesia]

Oh gosh, I love art

[memingursa-deactivated20250625]

I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

[lovehael]

Are you in the military or thinking about joining? Are you unsure of where to get reliable answers? Call the GI Rights Hotline at 1-877-447-

[naamahdarling]

Maybe spread this link compassionately in online spaces where these people might see it. This is extremely important.

[discoursedrome]

English has a bunch of vowels where O is pronounced /ʌ/, like come, love, some, and honey. I never really thought about it because I'm resigned to legacy vowels being appallingly arbitrary, but it turns out that all these words did originally use U, and the O was added not for reasons of pronunciation but because in the middle ages everyone was writing in calligraphy that made it impossible to tell m, n, u, and i apart, as in the unum shown here, which you must imagine reading by candlelight:

fuck you! this is a problem you created for yourselves! god damn it.

Anyway. This was a factor in the emergence of the v and j forms for u and i, and it's the reason i has a dot, but in English specifically, it also led to a convention of using O for U in some places, which then fixed the spelling for those words, and that's why O only has this pronunciation before m, n, u or v.

[the-haiku-bot]

fuck you! this is a

problem you created for

yourselves! god damn it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[harbingerdiana]

For the last time dude, my leitmotif sounds exactly like it always has. There is no symbolism for creeping corruption in there

[jkottke]

“We’ve crushed fascism before and we’ll crush it again.” A 98-year-old WWII veteran demolishes a Tesla with a Sherman tank. (Love the replays from several camera angles.)

[pink-fuchsia]

this reads so much like a tumblr text post that I had to do a double take before clicking the link to watch the video.

He did drive that tank over that tesla and he looked cool as hell doing it.

[tikkety-tok]

“Bro where u at we not supposed to be in heree”

[bunjywunjy]

always hilarious the lengths mammal moms will go to to retrieve a nearly-grown child from a situation of their own making

[jollyfurydragonballer]

[woman-becomer]

IT'S TIME TO FLOP IN THE SLOP

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

no music 🎧

[vitrified-vitriol-deactivated20]

Thank you for the no music note. Animal frolicking noises