Venom Enthusiast

manda | 26 | she/her

[softwaring]

[milfsisyphus]

[everythingfox]

Have you ever asked yourself: “What does the skunk say?” unmute to find out

[ruffboi-mags]

what a good and respectful wildlife interaction, from both sides!

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[sparrowsfallingfromthesky]

[cryptidfuckery]

Absolutely losing my mind over this text I got from a client today

[cookiethebirddoll]

can you please refrain from performing speedrun strats at the dinner table

[glowcowboy]

i don’t know. i’m barely a person. i just want to be kind and hold someone’s hand. eat an ice cream cone. stare at the lake. feel the sun on my skin. lay in the grass. run through a sprinkler. it’s so easy to forget life is supposed to feel like a deep breath and not a gasp

[ntrider]

oh I see. it was the crime of wanting. that's why I deserve it.

[lakevida]

you missed it because you were looking at your phone but an angel just appeared to me with a flaming sword and told me that god decided there’s nothing wrong with day drinking

[snailtongue]

[ID: Two photos at slightly different angles of a ribbon seal sitting on an ice floe. The background is of pure blue water with smaller ice floes in it.] via

[userarmand]

having to go to work on the first two days of your period should be outlawed

[coldswarkids]

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

[coldswarkids]

[greelin]

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

[mallalada]

get yourself a main character whos two primary emotions are "little cunt" and "catatonic with grief"

[mallalada]

shoutout to the small but vocal minority of people on this post who are full throttle neck deep in roman senator rpf posting. i see you i appreciate you. truly there are so many kinds of guy you cant even dream of in this world

[werecreature-addicted]

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

[littleluciddreamer-blog]

Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.