[Insert clever title] @marzankatm - Tumblr Blog

i know we all love that post about “world famous detective” not being a real type of celebrity but lets be real if benoit blanc was real and sluttily fagging it up everywhere constantly in the news n making fools out of the cops n shit we’d all eat that up crazy style. it’d be like the chocolate guy but for exposing rich people for being assholes

rana030

jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

jewish-joy

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

jewish-joy

I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.

He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"

So Theodora's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

stephendann

Free Roamin' Catholic Plants. What will they think of next?

esvvel

Rhaena Targaryen

bitterhalf

im sorry it's so funny to me how aemond and aegon are having a telepathic argument about which of them was their mother's favorite child and all the while she literally traded them both in a heartbeat for helaena's life weeks ago

sandersstudies

Found my husband’s baby book. OBSESSED with an image of him, newborn baby, on what looks like a large white comforter, alone, with the caption New Guy In Town. Obsessed I tell you.

sandersstudies

The true 90s baby aesthetic as computers in the home were normalized

babybelminis

why is it giving this

saturnmortis

nosimpincurly

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

catherinebunnington

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

beggars-opera

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

formerlyanon

and we need that! keeps us humble.

dabouse

Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT

tomboy014

It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!

dabouse

I'm 16, that's like, barely a child

tomboy014

I'm in my 30s. You are baby

digitaldiscipline

I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.

kabretoss

honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.

ohwhatagloomyshow

do you remember why you followed prev

yes :)

no :)

Voting ended onJul 23

toyastales

Pansy ring, 1930s.

librarycards

i think fat girls should walk around in crop tops booty shorts buzzcuts dyed hair piercings no bra killing and maiming all who stand in their way with weapons before sitting down for some yummy ice cream and so forth. it's the only way.

messsssmer

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

fireknightqueelign

thy mother

messsssmer

Art thou for fucking real

horsesource

"You can say that [orangutans] are not dependent on social support and approval, and if you admire this in them, that an orang is irredeemably his own person, 'the most poetic of the apes', researcher Lynn Miles told me once in an unguarded moments. What she had in mind was the difference between orangs and chimps in the way they carry on their discourse with the world.

Chimps are much admired for their tool use and for their problem-solving relationship with things as they find them...the orang is, let us say, not so replete with enterprise. Give an orangutan the hexagonal peg and the several shapes of hole, and then hide behind the two-way mirror and watch how he engages with the problem.

And watch and watch and watch--because he does not engage with the problem. He uses the peg to scratch his back, has a look-see at his right wrist, makes a half-hearted and soon abandoned attempt to use his fur as a macramé project, stares dreamily out the window if there is one and at nothing in particular if not, and the sun begins to set. (The sun will also set if you are observing a chimp, but the chimp is more amusing, so you are less likely to mark the moment in your notes. An orang observer has plenty of time to be a student of the vanities of sunset.)

You watch, and the orang dreams...when casually and as if thinking of something else, the orang slips the hexagonal peg into the hexagonal hole. And continues staring off dreamily."

Vicki Hearne, "The Case of the Disobedient Orangutans"