YOU ARE THE REASON
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@meesseedee
I’M DEAD
Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.
OH MY GOSH
It’s because the cat is that lynx’s mom
Shout out to all my straight sisters I’m so sorry 😞
Jesus, leave his ass.
We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.
My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning. They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.
This is so sad
This isnt cute or quirky. This means hes a fucking hopeless user
Please date a man who actually acts like an adult.
Ok I lived with my ex for 2 years and he literally wouldn’t be able to get his own food if I wasn’t at home, I’d get home from work and he’d be angry at me for “making him starve”
My current partner has lived on his own for 8 years and the absolute most I have to help him with is maybe sending him $20 so he can make a bill payment on time
It made me realise for 2-4 years I wasn’t a girlfriend I was a fucking mother
Men who have been independent are capable of reverting if given the slightest excuse. When we married, my ex husband was 10 years older than me and had lived on his own for 8ish years. Yet (and I allowed this until I finally got fed up and took us to counseling) I did 80% of the cooking, because I was better at it. Same with the cleaning, shopping, social planning, etc.
After I left, in the first six months I got texts or calls asking me to please tell him:
The online banking password (dude, I left you, you should really change that)
Where I ordered his special-wecial organic underwear
Where the good cutting board was (my dad gave it to us at our wedding, genius, I took it with me along with the rest of the stuff from my family)
What brand butter we bought
What brand of local kielbasa we bought
Who his doctor was
What RMV office had the shortest lines
Where the old tax returns were (in the fucking box labeled tax returns)
The phone number for his best friend
I shit you not.
Then he had a heart attack (mild) and none of his family or friends were around to take him to the hospital. But instead of calling 911, he called me, who by then lived 45 minutes away. He lived 5 minutes from an EMS dispatch location. He called me, despite the fact that he didn’t believe me 8 months prior when I was feeling suicidal and I had to call a cab to go alone to check myself into the hospital for a 72-hour hold. I told him to call 911, hung up on him when he whined about “making a fuss”, called 911, called his siblings and then texted them “your brother is having a heart attack, I called 911 for him, come home,” and washed my hands of it.
Emotionally vacant men who won’t do household labor or emotional labor are not Nazis, but they aren’t good people, either, and you don’t have to put up with their shit.
Millennial women of Tumblr, please read this post.
And then please: make the decision for yourself to never stay with a man who expects you to be his mother and servant.
YOOOOO IM LEGITIMATELY TOUCHED LIKE OML THIS IS AN ACTUAL BLESSING REBLOG REBLOG
Internally crying this is so beautiful *w*
I know cats have a stigma of being evil little robots who care for nobody but themselves. I don’t deny that there are some out there like this. But in defense of the large majority of darling cats who have been given a bad name due to the wicked few, I would like to tell you a story…
I am asthmatic. I’m not as bad as some; my asthma is generally well-controlled, and I don’t have much trouble with it on a daily basis. However, as all asthmatics know, getting sick becomes a nightmare. Even a small cold can turn into a days-long asthma attack, one that is very painful, and very annoying for me and those around me. The asthma cough sounds like an ill seal at best, or an angry moose with a nasal condition at worst. Y'all with asthma, and y'all with asthmatic friends, know exactly what I’m talking about. The bark. The hack. The Cough Heard Round The World. It’s painful, it’s loud, and it doesn’t stop. Even the rescue inhaler can only do so much to calm it. It just has to run its course with the cold.
Well, this week I caught the crud, and in the past few days it deteriorated into The Cough. Last night, I took some NyQuil to try and stave it off for as long as I could, just to try and get some sleep. That meant that for a few hours, I was cough-free. After that, I was still doped up enough to sleep through some of it. However, by 2am the sleep aid had worn off and The Cough woke me up. Since lying down makes it worse, and I didn’t want to wake my sister, I sneaked out of my bedroom into the living room, where I sat on the recliner and proceeded to hack up a lung while I waited for my next dose of NyQuil to kick in. That is when I noticed Simon.
Simon is a Russian Blue with a masterful resting-witch-face and an attitude to match. She (yes, she’s a girl, that’s another story) is old, fat, proprietary, and attitudinal. She isn’t shy about telling you when she is displeased, and does so with a loud shriek and some teeth or claws thrown in. She is convinced she owns the place, and owns all of us in turn. She is particular about where you can pet her, like most cats; and, like most cats, she loves her sleep and hates to be woken up.
And of course, my hacking woke her up.
Attempting to whisper an apology in between bouts of coughing, I noticed she was getting off her perch atop the chair nearby. She stretched, made a little squeaking sound, and trotted over to me.
I expected her to demand petting as payment for having woken her precious sleep, but she did not. Instead, this traditionally cranky dragon of a cat did something that amazed me.
She began to purr loudly, and sat herself directly on my aching chest. She kneaded my sternum softly, and nosed my chin as if to say, “I’ve got this, you sleep.” Even though I was still coughing, and bouncing her horridly in the process, she remained settled on my chest right above my diaphragm, purring loudly so that it vibrated through my ribs. I don’t know what magic spell she was chanting between her boat-like purrs, but within minutes my cough had subsided and I was able to sleep.
I didn’t wake up until about 4:30. When I did, it was to discover that my lap and chest were devoid of Simon’s presence, and I was coughing again. As I started coughing once more, I heard her familiar “I’m here” squeak from the area of the water dish. I heard some hurried lapping, and then her heavy gallop across the floor. She flumped onto my lap again, and resumed her purring and kneading. She had evidently been doing that for the past 2 hours, and had only left to get some water. Hydrated, she had returned to take care of me.
So yes, she has her share of evil, jerk-cat moments, but I can no longer pretend that Simon is entirely heartless. For that matter, I now refuse to believe that about any cat. Just because they act like a jerk doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.
When the honeymoon stage ends what happens
…………
You’re more honest with each other. Bodily functions are something to laugh about. Sweatpants and tee shirts are a regular thing. They know what you look like without all the makeup. Being “laid up and watching Netflix” is the only thing you’re looking forward to after work. You don’t go on fancy dates as often but you trade that for quality time. You find yourself being more vulnerable and you open up more. They become your best friend. You will able to talk about anything. You won’t be worried about impressing their parents, you’re just gonna love them anyway regardless of how their parents may feel. You will have inside jokes that no one else will get. Sex is not as often but, twice as passionate. Little fights will happen, but you’ll learn not to sweat the small stuff. You’ll learn what compromise really is about. You’ll dream about the future together. Grow together. Be on each other’s team. See their ugly crying face, and be the one to wipe the tears away & do something stupid to make them life. things are amazing after the honeymoon stage. However, it’s a time about giving up your walls and open up some doors you have locked a long time ago.
That’s why some people don’t make it past this point, because they don’t know what unconditional self-love means. Remain open and optimistic, love will never fail you.
i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????
rb this with whether u say paper scissors rock or rock paper scissors
me normally: linguistic differences are so interesting and cool! I love hearing different dialectal variations.
me, reading “paper, scissors, rock” with my own two eyeballs: the lord is testing me
scissors paper stone
Her tuition so damn high she can wear whatever tf she wants
Spite goals
There’s a better thing to her story. She CONTINUED her thesis in her underwear and afterward her professor said “what would your mother think wearing those kinds of clothes”
And she responded “my mother’s a feminist also a gender and sexuality studies professor. She’s fine with my shorts”
i think the best part is that a majority of the class also stripped with her in solidarity
Just to give a little more perspective after reading the story:
The sequence of events is a little jumbled in the telling above. The actual chastising from the teacher came days before the woman’s thesis, during a practice run of her presentation. This was not a spur-of-the-moment thing where she just whipped off her clothes for the sake of being angry. Chai took the time to think things through before deciding this was the way she wanted to protest. She used critical thinking and level-headedness to decide instead of becoming volatile and aggressive, she would choose non-violent protest.
I just don’t like the way the story’s being told by others because it makes her come across as “overly-emotional” and “erratic” (as women often do in the media, because it’s easier to attribute extreme action to “hysteria”), whereas in actual news reports, she had time to think about her decision and choose the best way to handle what happened to her.
Sources:
New York Post
CBS
Huffington Post
my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.
this passed the bechdel test
The older I get the more fiercely protective I get of younger girls. I was heading into work yesterday and I saw that 12 year old (I mentioned her before, the one who wore makeup) talking to this older man. She’s normally really bubbly but she looked a little more subdued talking to him so I go over and loudly say “Hey sweetheart, who’s this?” And the guys just glares at me and she says “oh um his name is Justin.” And I’m like “Hi Justin, how do you know her?” And he gets nervous and is like “I just saw her jogging and thought I’d give her pointers.” So I just kinda tilted my head and looked at him for a minute. He literally asked me “are you a cop or something? I haven’t done anything wrong.” So I took her to the McDonald’s near by, bought her something and had a talk about not talking to strangers. Low key I’m debating the next time I see her parents (they drop her off at the gym and leave her there for hours) to maybe have a talk with them or something. Idk if it’s my place tho
Just to add because some messaged me saying that I was being a nosey bitch: so a woman who used to go to my gym (and my same university. Like I used to see her at my job and on campus) actually went missing not far from my intersection (literally a 5 min walk away from the major intersection) on may 10 and they found her body literally last week (June 19). Everyone has been on high alert lately so when I saw this random dude talking to this little girl, my brain immediately went into defence panic mode. So yeah call me nosey if you want
If showing concern for a minor who you are validly concerned about (Some random stranger gving a young girl ”pointers”? What the hell kind of talk is THAT?) makes someone “a nosey bitch”, the world needs a damn sight more nosey bitches and I hope this six-foot plus, bearded Scotsman would be one too under those circumstances.
I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed
SHIT WHAT
Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.
I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.
This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things.
Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.
I looked it up, cuz that tidbit was dope to me and..
Never would have known
this is an england hate blog
HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL? WHAT DID MY COUNTRY EVER DO TO ANYONE?!
oh sorry sweetie, i didn’t realise you still lived in the 1800s…🙄🙄
I’ve been thinking about this for days. The 1800s??? The 1800s????
The 1800s ???????????????!
Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.
So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.
So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.
So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…
And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…
Holy shit.
This is glorious
I like Dale. He’d break up with a bigoted girlfriend and he wears bathrobes like a cape. Not everyone would wear a bathrobe like a cape.
Watch: The “pink tax” is secretly costing women thousands — and not just at the drug store
Yooooooooooo
Women pay more for products. Men pay more for clothing.
Do men really pay more for clothes?
Yea, seriously. Shirts, sneakers, jeans, socks…etc. Ask your male friends how much they pay for a pair of descent jeans. It’ll blow your mind.
At least their pants have fucking pockets tho
“Men pay more for clothing.”
(Target)
Are you sure?
Are you
(Walmart)
ABSOLUTELY SURE??
BECAUSE I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED
LIKE AT ALL
THAT MEN HAVE IT HARDER
(Victoria’s Secret)
OH AND SHOULD I BRING UP PANTIES WHILE I’M AT IT? I am a firm believer of the “fuck you, I’ll wear briefs that don’t give me a wedgie, I don’t care if they’re not sexy” policy, but a lot of women are expected to wear panties and thongs because GASP WOMEN MUST BE BEAUTIFUL AT ALL TIMES. Here’s a screenshot of some Victoria’s secret panties!
Wow. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here.
Women are expected to buy more clothing, and literally all of it is more expensive, so fuck all of you.
*HAMMERS THE REBLOG BUTTON*
Fucking infuriating. And, NO ONE pays more for clothes than fat women. Tired of it.
Have you ever stepped on a Torrid? $50-$80 for a blouse.
^^^^^
Yup it totally gets more costly when you’re not model thin.
Woah
I’m here to confirm the fat girl comment…. decent fitting, CUTE plus size shit is just expensive as fuck.
$38 for a fucking t-shirt at Torrid.
where is the lie
I want you guys to know that this post actually taught me this.
And I recently, as in “like two days ago,” cut an abuser out of my life on the basis that I refuse to accept “I’m sorry if you feel like I” nonpologies anymore.
I literally didn’t recognize this as a form of gaslighting until a freaking gifset pointed out to me that I’ve been hearing this all my life and just accepting “well, yeah, I have autism, it’s not really her fault, I don’t get feelings like other people do” rather than “hey! Even if I don’t get feelings like other people do, you should still try not to be an asshole to me!”
It’s been a hard two days but I feel so much better for it. Thank you to everyone who made this post popular and kept it flopping onto my dash from time to time until the message sank in.
(And in case this reblog gets widely spread: this addition was end of June, 2018.)
THIS
Can confirm. My favorite book on linguistics has an entire section on AAVE that talks about this.
So some people are better at bad English than others? Also, in what kind of classes is this knowledge useful?
It’s useful for the kind of classes where people aren’t busy being assholes about how other people speak, @im-just-a-penguin.
But don’t take my word for it!
Here’s a website dedicated to explaining dialects that goes over the rules.
Here’s a professional linguist who specializes in AAVE, and just one of his many papers explaining that AAVE is a proper dialect.
Hot shit! Here’s an article from STANFORD UNIVERSITY that’s literally titled “AAVE is not Standard English with mistakes”!!!
Here’s a blurb from PBS, introducing the topic of whether AAVE is a creole or a dialect. You’ll notice neither one of those options means ‘just poor English’.
Here’s English Language and Linguistics Online, which is a nice technical linguistics website, further deconstructing how AAVE works.
Here’s a paper on the habitual “be” from New York University.
Here’s a link to some information from Portland University. I wish to draw your attention specifically to the phrase: “linguists now agree that AAVE is not ‘broken’ English, or slang”.
Here’s a super-technical paper on phonology in AAVE, which gets down into things like why AAVE speakers may say “axed” instead of “asked.”
Hm. Looks like there are a lot of people who study this stuff for a living who disagree with your assessment that it’s “bad English.” I guess you better get reading … . asshole.
What’s so useful about the study of different ways people refuse to speak proper English? You did not answer that question.
Hm! Well, first, let’s define “proper English.”
Do you mean Queen’s English? American English? Canadian English? What about Indian English, or Kenyan English? Maybe Zimbabwean English? Maybe you meant Jamaican English, or Sierra Leonean English. Are those “proper English”?
Well, let’s assume you mean American English, since this kind of asshole question usually only comes from Americans, in my experience. Do you mean Southern American English, with “y’all” and “all y’all” and people who are “fixing to” do things? What about New Englander American English, where the thing I call a “side yard” is a dooryard? How about American English as spoken along the Arizona/Texas/Mexico border, which tends to have features not present in more northern states? Oh! Or what about New York City American English? Only place I’ve ever been where a grinder is a kind of food rather than a kind of food-maker and a train is underground.
Ah! Or perhaps you mean Texan American English, where “might-could” is a valid construction that means neither “might” nor “could.” Or Californian American English! Yes, that must be what you mean!
I didn’t answer the question, asshole, because it is not a valid question, and because you clearly asked it just to be (falsely) pedantic and superior. Rewording it as “refuse to speak proper English” instead of “better at bad English” doesn’t make it valid, it just shows that you know more than one way to be an asshole.
AAVE is an American English dialect. No different from any of the other dialects I just mentioned, except that it tends to be based along race lines rather than geographic ones. It is a correct American English dialect, it is a recognized American English dialect, and you don’t have to like it but you don’t get to shit on it just because you want to be racist … asshole.
Can we normalize doing nothing, please?
I work with kids. These kids are at my program before and after school, and then some of them have sports/dance/music sometimes all of the above before they finally go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep. Then rinse and repeat everyday, and games and more classes on the weekend, etc.
I’m all for extracurriculars, but this turns into the teen who is not only in the school play, but they’re on the newspaper, the football team, and seven different clubs. In college they take double the courseloads, and then once they graduate…what?
They work themselves raw because they arent used to downtime. They’ve been told they can always be doing something, and they don’t know how to relax. This turns into the adult that has anxiety because there’s nothing left to clean, the adult that desperately wants to watch that TV show but can’t force themselves to sit long enough for it.
Then they turn into the moms and dads who spend all their free time ferrying their kids to extracurriculars.
Like, these kids don’t know what downtime is? I told a kid I did nothing last weekend, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He asked what I was doing this weekend and I said “Probably sleeping, mostly,” and he actually gasped. Then he rattled off a bunch of things I could do, to which I had to stop him.
“No, you don’t understand. I plan on sleeping. I’m booked.”
“But you could–”
“Nah. I’m just gonna rest.”
It was as if I had said a bad word or something. I asked what he does when he gets sick, and he says he goes to practice anyway. I asked him what he does if he doesn’t feel like going, and he said he goes anyway. I asked when he takes time to rest, and he said when he sleeps at night.
Bring back lazy Sundays. Bring back Saturday morning cartoons. Bring back the idea of relaxing and soaking in your day before moving into the next thing. Bring back the right to breathe, the right to rest.
Bring back mental health days, and taking a break. Bring back taking a walk or watching a show or setting a timer to remind yourself to stop cleaning and relax.
If you’re running at 100% all the time with no time to recharge, then your battery is going to die spectacularly, and probably at the worst possible time.
Mood
